Before I get started, I wanted to say congrats to Justin on getting married. Here's to a long and happy marriage for you, bro.
Now the feedback.
The Infiniti Council - Chapter 2: I liked the use of the song lyrics at the start. I'm not familiar with the song itself (I don't think it bears any importance here), but thought the verses was a nice way to encapsulate this dark metamorphosis of your character.
Good thing there was no kitten around to be kicked like a football. Of course my hope would be, that the cat moved out of the way ala Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown. But I'm a cat lover, so I'm biased lol. Kidding aside, that bit was a nice addition. Really awesome exchange with your inner voice. I especially cracked up over, "and shows the sexual interest of a eunich."
What followed was awesome: "You're merely a voice in my head," ordered Nathan, his untamable orange brows furrowed in protest.
"Not anymore" smirked the black browed man standing in Nathan's place. "I've been unleashed upon the world. Michael Wryght got a taste of what I - this me - could do. The Sea Men..."
It's the declaration of N. Saniti that really hammers home just WHAT has been unleashed. I love it, and I'm very excited over seeing what you do next.
Dancing With The Devil: So Alexa has finally washed her hands of both (un)Stable and Crazy Power. That should open up some interesting roads with her former allies, and I'm really really glad that she's returning to the underground. That's just her playground.
"I'm finally a free woman no longer will be a slave to a crackpot magician's whims nor will I have a moron for a tag team partner." Hahaha.
This was nicely said: "PCW - all of it - shall burn for its insolent behavior. I am the match, and their horrific dreams are the fuel."
There are some interesting points made pertaining to the downfall of not only the stable, but also the tag team. Not only interesting, but Alexa has herself some valid points. The surprise of the piece was her reaction over being teamed with Yukio. It's an odd tag team pairing (I know you write him as well), but there was this sense of calm as she thought about the prospect. From jubilation to calm. Pretty big tandem there between Alexa and Hiroshi. I'm looking forward to seeing how it translates on Trauma.
Shoukan: Speak of the devil, lol. I liked the use of the latest match. It's a good way to get the flow going. This gave me a chuckle: "Ha! He didn't see that Superkick coming. Most people just assume I'm a fat blob who can't move and that I don't know how to wrestle because I'm just a sumo." Yukio does have some impressive agility for a man of his stature. I've actually liked this budding rivalry of Yukio/Reece. Both are big guys and surprisingly, Hiroshi has looked alright in the Underground. So kudos there.
Continuing from your RP Alexa, is the calmness I mentioned. Nice consistency there. Both efforts were good, Simon. Again, I'll be curious to see how this all plays out. No doubt Crazy Boy will be out for blood and then Yukio/Reece have unfinished business. The match itself may turn out to be a highlight of the show. Heck, there may not even be an actual winner. Either way, it should be good.
modus operandi: Grimm RP's = fucking great reads. The end.
Seriously though, one thing I have always appreciated with these, is the creativity and depth. As mentioned in a previous cycle, I feel like I learn a new word every time Grimm RP's. As a visual reader, the descriptions and dialogue really leap out in my mind and makes it flow rather easily.
With as much love and respect that Grimm has for books, I wonder what he would do (if anything) if he ever found out someone purposely damaged any? In particular, the classics. Maybe I'm just being silly, but it's an amusing idea. I cannot wait for the PPV. The RP's from you and Josh should be VERY interesting. But that's not now. This week you drew Desmond Knight.
The critique of him made me smile. Grimm is a legend, and has been a mainstay in PCW for years, so I'm fairly certain plenty have come and gone with that kind of boastful nature in mind. When I read it, I just pictured everything being said in an eloquent manner. Lol and really it's a fair critique.
Snap. Crackle. Pop. may not be in store for Trauma, but seeing as DK no showed this, he could be in for it rather quickly if it keeps up. It's actually a little frustrating. We just saw this with Ezra and Marc, so I'm HOPING this won't be another case.
Keep On Keepin' On: So to start we have a baptism, and one with visions from the mind of Jury as the ceremony takes place. This man in black fella is a creepy bastard. "Hell is the ticket pilgrim!" For some reason I'm picturing the man in black as the Tall Man from Phantasm (love that series). But back to the matter, I loved the opening. I've said it time and time again, I'm a fan of these guys. I really dig the whole religious fanatic/biker persona. Plenty of doors that can be opened in way of writing from such a perspective, and really, you nail the nuances.
Yeah I agree. The showdown with Grimm in the tag match was a highlight. I like the mention of it here and moreso the explanation of what Jury was feeling when the moment came. That face-to-face was an awesome visual. Given Cory's explanation of things, I wonder if there will be a Jury v Grimm match somewhere in the future?
"We will steam roll through the wizard and his harlot." hahaha. Headhunting with a large bounty per each is interesting. Going to be a good showdown for the tag titles, especially with the recent turn to the dark for N. Saniti.
Faith Restored: Like you did in Jury's rp, I really liked the vision here. A nice flash into what Judge would like to do, against what he actually did. Given who he is and what he's capable of, I can see it becoming reality.
"However, Judge nor Jury liked her at all, why? Just because she was who she was. She was The Order. Eira could be a future problem but the future is the future, this last breath is ours but the next belongs to the Lord." Nicely put. Adds intrigue to the pairing. Can The Saints coexist with someone like Eira?
This was an excellent piece: "This is creepy," Judge chuckled, "But it has to be burned. False idols brother have no room in the house of the Lord." Simple, right? What I especially found interesting was the artwork dedicated to The Black Hand. Jury no longer idolizes Grimm, and has apparently bought into what his brother has been saying all along. Moving forward, and especially given the history with The Hand, that could be something to remember. Should it come to pass I mean. Regardless of what the future may or may not hold, it was quite an exclamation point at the end with the two of them watching the shrine go up in flames.
New Beginnings: That was originally the title of my RP, but I changed it at the last second. Haha. I was definitely looking forward to seeing CB's reaction after Alexa turned on him. Extend that to the eventual one-on-one match that most likely will be contested with Underground rules.
His train of thought was good. I like how he questions his bad luck with partners, and then goes on to say, "I know that I have a few screws loose, but I know I can get the job done when it's all said and done, and no one seems to realize it." I like it in the sense that CB knows what he can do and that he IS a reliable person to have. It's a nice touch.
Equally good is pinning the Black Hand's continued dominance on Alexa being consumed with tearing down Kelli Starr. More than the goal of the stable and the good of Crazy Power, she was blinded by obsession. Transition that with CB wanting to push forth in seeing the mission through and it becomes a really strong point in your RP. Thumbs up all around.
Worked Over: Kaard RP's crack me up. There's always some random bits of humor in there that give me a chuckle, and this was no different. The physical description of having a stapled head wound was nice. I chuckled at the use of "oozed" as it's just one of those words that makes me smirk, lol.
"But if you looked a little deeper; passed the bruises, past the staples, and just a little further into the void you would find the determination that was buried there. The determination not to let this series drop to 0-2. The determination to force himself through another day of training, to be just a little bit better than the last time. To be better than Sean Rhodes." nicely put.
hahaha, "I look like a god damn, raccoon."
Ah Fallout 4. I have very little experience playing anything in the series. But I like the placement of it, especially as it was mentioned in another thread.
"Are you seriously playing as a ginger with a man bun?" Justin asked teasingly.
"They hate me cause I'm beautiful," Eric quipped. Hahaha.
I loved the vision of Kaard/NCM being in a third-person, video game perspective. Hahaha the quality of paint on the wall. Pretty lost in thought to have a discussion on something like that. Really enjoyed the banter between Justin and his brother. It really flowed and made for a nice conclusion to your RP.
Rage!!!: I loved the inserts of Wryght taping up his hands from the violent impaling courtesy of Saniti. In between each sentence was the account of him tearing apart his dressing room out of anger. It's an awesome contrast to the Mr. Showtime that shows in the public eye.
"Snap. Crackle. Pop. Showtime raged at just the thought of those three words. They were supposed to be the good guys at this point. It was time to turn the corner and become the heroes." This rocked. It's an interesting insight given the previous happenings and again, with Saniti turning and becoming more outwardly violent, it really adds another layer.
"Wrestling was real. There was an attempt to make this profession, purely entertainment. Pulling punches. Cradling people to the mat. Self-inflicted cuts to bleed." nice dash of realism.
The wordplay on "pin" was cool and you can easily understand WHY Wryght would be so angered by Saniti, why he wants to not only beat him, but hurt him. With the roles seemingly reversed now, it'll make for an interesting path going to the next Trauma and PPV.
The Order of Things: Kudos to you, Rick. I had read that you weren't sure if you'd get an RP this cycle. So I wanted to give you thumbs up for this. If the second match is anything like the first, it's going to be epic. There's no way of knowing how many matches in the series this will go, but the ride will be highly enjoyable.
Another impressive entry. I like the use of first person and the introduction of Rhodes' guardian. I'm still learning about The Order, so it's kind of hard for me to give more thorough feedback. But for what you wrote, I really liked the creativity of it all.
Awakening 1:3: Congrats to you on receiving the superstar spotlight on Pulse. I'm late to the congrats, but there they are. lol. Well deserved I might add and pretty awesome sounding entrance music to boot.
As mentioned above, I'm still learning about The Order, so I'll share some of my favorite bits from your rp. Wait. Biscuit-thin ice. Hahaha. I'm gonna have to remember that one.
Lurching upright, she growls through clenched teeth as the pain of the movement lances through her skull. <-- I like how that was worded. "The Spellslingers - I don't WANT IT. They BROKE Sean, they damaged something in him and manipulated him. If the Order mistrusts me, how am I to believe that they'll heal me instead of reprogramming me?" Real fear sends a tremor through her. "What if they make me hurt someone? What if they make me hurt Murdoc?"
"And she knows damn well that should even the slightest harm or backfire befall you, I will systematically dismantle her world from the ground up."
He leans in again, grey eyes pinning Eira to the pillows behind her. "You have no chance against Sadistic, Showtime, or Stormm unless you agree. That's not even to consider your teammates, this bizarrely fanatical incarnation of Judge and Jury. This surgery takes months to fully recover from, and you've done so much damage to yourself until this point it's amazing you aren't brain dead." That's so true. Eira's skull sure has been taking a beating.
With a low chuckle she reaches out, hands on either side of Eira's head, whispering words in a language long since thought dead. A lilac haze limns her fingers as the air thickens, the silvery-haired warrior's eyes closing as consciousness slips gently away. The woman glances over at Altman, who gives her a nod.
"She's out. Proceed."
"What we agreed upon?"
"That and nothing more."
The woman nods, curls brushing her shoulders as she closes her violet eyes and begins her work, the lilac tendrils deepening through purple, to plum, then indigo as she probes deeper and deeper into Eira to heal the damage. Altman remains at her bedside in silent vigil, his watchful gaze focused on Eira's sculpted features.
"There must be no mistakes."
I love the interaction between Eira and Murdoc. The back and forth between them was a nice transition from the seriousness that came before it. I got a kick out of what was said about her partners and opponents. You can just feel the sheer hatred for Sadistic. This match may get ugly come Trauma. Great stuff throughout!
Supercharged Chewy Candy!: Right out of the gate with sidestepping and innuendo's, lol. This should prove most interesting with the partnership. Yeah, Kelli may be the only one capable of making sure Saniti doesn't go full postal, but there's a what if in my mind. Especially with the warning he gave. Ya know, very violent? As The Sea Men are NOT The Hand, I'll be curious to see if Saniti gives the same level of violence he has been dishing out. I know he's completely turned, so it's possible?
Instead of getting angry, Kelli shrugs. "Yeah. Yeah that's true. But this is kind of a big deal. This is ALL a big deal, and Nathan is important to me. This true love thing man... sure it sounds hokey, but I really feel it this time - and I'm going to do anything I have to do to recall him to himself."
She pulls a few curls from her bouffant hairstyle to drape artfully around her face.
"Even if that means hurting him." <--- This adds some intrigue
The Price of Doing Business: Tonight the sea raged and swelled, like an overfilled bathtub. Hahaha, very nice! I like these piratey adventures. I can imagine Tide sitting in a pub somewhere and exchanging tales of seafaring battles. That's a compliment to how you write the character, cause he certainly is an enjoyable read and brings in comedy to lighten some of the heavier material that gets posted.
The sleepy houses with no lights on, the smattering of trees, the streetlamps which fought hard to shine in the gloomy weather. <--- Nice description.
After he had witnessed Saniti's “change”, only to find out he would stand in the ring with him on the next Trauma, he had taken some time to put the insignificant man in his thoughts and recognized his change for what it was. A mental break. Saniti, a man barely living on the edge of reality and sanity had experienced a full mental break, and lucky Tide, he got to deal with the aftermath. All he could hope for was that Saniti's partner Dollface, who hugged the line between reality and fantasy herself, didn't chose this week to experience a mental breakdown of her own. He didn't have time to spank children and teach them how to behave. LOL. That last line gave me a good laugh.
lol, a sack of disobedient potatoes. That's a new way of putting it. This was a really good (and creative) piece of writing. I enjoyed the search for Galen and then the exchange once Tide found his target. Good stuff.
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies...Take THAT Grimm!!!: The title got me laughing. This RP was different for what usually gets posted. Sadistic getting interviewed? Wait. ALLOWING himself to be? Yeah, total surprise. Highly entertaining though.
"You know, I was always taught in this business that you're always supposed to say something nice about your opponent. Build them up, right? Because if I call you a piece of crap, and I beat you, then who cares? I just beat a piece of crap. And if I lose to you, then that's even worse because then I just lost to a piece of crap. So here goes: Judge, you're not as dumb as you look. Eira, even though I hate your guts, you're not bad looking for a chick with gray hair. And Jury...well, you don't sweat much for a fat guy." LOL, oh man. Too good. I'm not sure what got me laughing the most, but taken in it's entirety, it's downright funny. Who knew Sadistic could be such? I'm kidding, I'm kidding!
I was reading the Pulse chat when you and Luis had that IC exchange. I should have made some popcorn for it, because man it was entertaining. I'm glad his name found it's way into this. I think I said "uh oh" when I got to it.
"You don't think so?" asks William, almost insulted. "Eira nearly killed me in the cathedral, but I walked out the champion. Two weeks later and hanging on to life by a thread, I kicked the crap out of Gem and removed yet another Superstar from PCW's glorious roster. And walked out champion. Then he gave me the madman, Nathan Saniti, and STILL I walked out champion. Now look who's conveniently waiting around the corner..."
"Your brother. Phinehas Grimm."
"My brother indeed. But I'm going to do what I do best, and that's survive. After Phinehas and I lock horns and the dust settles, either he will walk away as the only four-time World Champion in PCW history, or I will cement my legacy as the greatest World Champion of all time. But either way, Shane, the Black Hand is leaving with that belt. Now if you'll excuse me..."
And with that, Sadistic shoulders past the annoying little dweeb.
A very fair assessment and plenty of truth behind it. I have NO idea who I'm picking at the PPV, as you two are both extremely talented writers. I'm really, really looking forward to it though. Hahaha, the annoying little dweeb.
The Confrontation: “Relax Sarah, you're shaking so much your hair is going to grind itself into dust if you keep it up." haha. This was a nice continuation of the MIA letter. Wasp's anger was well described. And quite understandable.
When she had finally calmed down, her uncontrollable crying now only an occasional shuddering sob, he moved her back about an arm's length, so he could see her face. “I believe you Sarah, and I am terribly sorry that I acted in anger such as I did. I just really want to see Kyle. Yes I know his name, I hate to admit it but when I didn't hear from you I hired a private investigator. I had to know if you were telling the truth. Can I see him Sarah? Please? Can I?” Wasp asked realizing he sounded like a child himself but he didn't care. This was after all his son they were talking about, and he had missed enough of the child's life already. <--- nicely put.
Wasp asked his mouth making plans before his brain could even process them. Hahaha. I really liked the whole section that contained this bit. I wonder if it'll parlay into a segment with his son meeting his favorites? Could be fun if it did happen.
“Alright well you just get Kyle and yourself down there, and I'll deal with the rest. Sorry again for being such an ass at the beginning. I do have to get going though, I have to catch a flight soon so I can get back and get ready for my match. I do have one question though. I'm his favourite wrestler, right?” Wasp asked grinning knowing that if Sarah had been watching PCW with him then she had probably steered his son's favouritism towards him. Sarah's face went extremely red as she listened to the question. Then in barely a whisper, so quiet that Wasp had to strain to hear her, she replied.
“Uhh... actually....Grimm's his favourite. He shouts his name all the time when he is wrestling and says he wants to meet him one day. I don't suppose you could arrange that?” She was almost embarrassed to admit it.
Wasp let out one of the most genuine laughs he had experienced in a long, long time and smiled at Sarah.
“I'll see what I can do.”
Ohhh THAT would be pretty damn interesting to see. Lol. Definitely was caught off guard there. I fully expected the same thing Wasp did. Nice swerve there. Appreciate the laugh I got out of that
