Raven Hex
PCW Talent
Daughter of Lilith
Posts: 46
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Post by Raven Hex on Feb 28, 2016 21:08:37 GMT -5
Okay, I'm used to writing novels with this character. I haven't written her in forever, and I'm trying to get the new feel of this fed down, so I wanted to give everyone a taste of her without going all out and spoiling the fun for you guys.
Just looking for some honest feedback. I know that there may be some tense errors and what not, I'm just looking for what you think.
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Post by Grimm on Mar 1, 2016 8:58:29 GMT -5
In this, our first glimpse of Raven, you’ve told us she is violent, mentally unstable, and after our blood. The piece opens in a graveyard and ends in a thunderstorm.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…
Yet you also go on to admit you recognize how familiar this all sounds, so at least you’re aware of how it can come across. Thank goodness for that. This RP establishes you’re a solid writer, and you’ve dropped some hints about backstories and secondary characters so I presume we’ll eventually get to see WHY Hex is the way she is. I’m sure Dan has filled you in on how PCW is a fan of fully developed characters, and from what you’ve shown us here I believe we’ll get to see that over the next few weeks.
Welcome to PCW!
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Cory Steel
PCW Icon
The Taint of PCW
Death waits for no man
Posts: 1,110
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Debut RP
Mar 1, 2016 19:08:12 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Cory Steel on Mar 1, 2016 19:08:12 GMT -5
I echo Grimm (you better because he'll suck your soul through your butt, saw it once in 99), great solid rp with himts building me towards I want more. So stick around or I'll suck your soul through your butt.
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Debut RP
Mar 1, 2016 20:41:11 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Nathan Saniti on Mar 1, 2016 20:41:11 GMT -5
Too much butt soul sucking. Even for me.
On topic, Did ya have to kick my ass so hard? I knew what to expect as far as skill level coming into this, and you didn't disappoint. While it may seem "familiar" to people here, I know you well enough to know that you'll shatter that mould quickly.
I thought it set up the feel of the character rather well, and frankly, Raven always was my favorite character of yours, so I marked out a bit. I'm looking forward to others, maybe even a certain other person who was her mentor.
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Raven Hex
PCW Talent
Daughter of Lilith
Posts: 46
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Post by Raven Hex on Mar 3, 2016 18:13:19 GMT -5
Thanks for the unfiltered feedback, guys. I hope to be able to come up with the original, not cheesy dark settings like I used to.
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