Creed
PCW Talent
Posts: 51 
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Post by Creed on Mar 19, 2016 7:56:15 GMT -5
Not roleplayed as this character for several years, in fact other than a match here and there I've not competitively roleplayed in a few years (have mainly been in staff roles) and I haven't worked in a (pretty much) brand new group of people in about 8 years.. so yeah, would really love some feedback on this peice.
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Raven Hex
PCW Talent
Daughter of Lilith
Posts: 46
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Post by Raven Hex on Mar 19, 2016 8:26:08 GMT -5
Okay, I'm not the best at this, but I'll give it a shot. You definitely have a knack for dialogue. I can't remember the last time I read such a dialogue heavy roleplay and didn't get unnerved by the choppiness or the misuse. That being said, I loved the whole premise of the one on one visit, because it allows all that talking for Creed to inform us of his history and most recent history without doing it in a straight up promo. You managed to talk about his past, talk about the possibility of a ruined future, and also talk about his immediate future in the triple threat, so kudos on that.
That being said, there was a point in the roleplay where no matter how good the dialogue was, I scrolled to the bottom to see how much of the back and forth was left, and there was A LOT. This may be a personal thing, so if no one agrees with me just chalk it up to me being set in my ways, but sometimes there is such thing as TOO much dialogue. Like the first part, with the aftermath of his last fight and the puking, I loved that. And in general, I loved the whole roleplay and I don't know if I want to face you any time soon, haha. Just for me, if there was any downside to this piece in particular, is that I felt like I was actually there for too long. It's quite an accomplishment, making the reader feel like they are there, but if THERE is a small room with an inquisitive doctor, well, then you feel uneasy and just want to get it over with, just like Creed.
Overall, again, amazing work and I look forward to following your character!
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Creed
PCW Talent
Posts: 51
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Post by Creed on Mar 19, 2016 8:47:39 GMT -5
Thanks for that Raven.
I actually wondered the same thing and did a version with some more 'action' stuff in it (a few more flashes of past instances, a nervous creed waiting to walk out on the stage at Mass Destruction etc) but it pushed the RP up to over 6000 words.. Which then had me doubting if that was too long a piece over all for a new character that nobody has any investment in yet.
I think being a new place and a reinvention of a character I've previously been uphappy with I had to get this one out of the way, lay that foundation and build from there. There is set up for two/three stories in that one RP so cutting anything out felt wrong and would have meant having to build the story differently.
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Post by Grimm on Mar 19, 2016 9:07:23 GMT -5
...it pushed the RP up to over 6000 words.. Which then had me doubting if that was too long a piece over all for a new character that nobody has any investment in yet. Others opinions may vary, but I think that would even be too long for a character that's been here from the beginning of PCW. |
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Post by Nathan Saniti on Mar 19, 2016 10:16:40 GMT -5
Let's let the new people get acclimated before we drive them off. I'll read your RP in a bit, Creed. If it's long winded, then that's what it is. We don't have a word max or min here that I know of. General rule of thumb is to keep it at 2500 words or less though.
Also, we can appreciate the desire for feedback, so we usually start a thread for each show to give everyone a chance to give everyone feedback. If it's given, please return it. If it's not given, feel free to initiate it. I don't think that will be a problem here. You seem like the type who will give what gets.
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Post by Loco on Mar 19, 2016 16:06:44 GMT -5
as a person who has had to break up rp's due to stupid character limits. This doesn't bother me.
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Raven Hex
PCW Talent
Daughter of Lilith
Posts: 46
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Post by Raven Hex on Mar 19, 2016 16:21:54 GMT -5
Let's let the new people get acclimated before we drive them off. I'll read your RP in a bit, Creed. If it's long winded, then that's what it is. We don't have a word max or min here that I know of. General rule of thumb is to keep it at 2500 words or less though. Also, we can appreciate the desire for feedback, so we usually start a thread for each show to give everyone a chance to give everyone feedback. If it's given, please return it. If it's not given, feel free to initiate it. I don't think that will be a problem here. You seem like the type who will give what gets. I'm not sure anyone was driving him off? |
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Post by Nathan Saniti on Mar 19, 2016 16:26:05 GMT -5
You're right. I just don't want people to feel they need to go on the defensive for a longer RP.
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Post by Non Compos Mentis on Mar 19, 2016 16:31:06 GMT -5
You're right. I just don't want people to feel they need to go on the defensive for a longer RP. To be fair, I've been part of PCW for 10 and a half years and nobody's scared me off... not for my wordy rp's anyway  |
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Creed
PCW Talent
Posts: 51
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Post by Creed on Mar 19, 2016 16:42:36 GMT -5
Haha havnt gotta worry about scaring me off. Like I say this is my first time roleplaying with a new crowd of people in about 8 years.. and almost all of that time was spent as staff/owner so not truly competing.. is going to take a while to fine tune my style for PCW  Thanks so much to everyone who's given feedback so far. |
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Post by Justin Kaard on Mar 19, 2016 20:40:44 GMT -5
The PCW style is different from any other place I've everead fended but it is by far my favorite.
However Creed is right, it takes some getting used to.
Speaking of Creed, I haven't gotten a chance to read your rp yet but it's on my to-do list for tomorrow.
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