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Post by Grimm on Mar 24, 2016 6:42:51 GMT -5
Believe Terrence: Just a couple of things upon an initial reading: (1) Razor Blade should take a breath every now and then. Every reply was one long run-on sentence. Also, there were some random words scattered throughout that didn't make any sense. (2) Grimm isn't the World Champion anymore, Razor Blade . Give Mass Destruction a read.
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Cory Steel
PCW Icon
The Taint of PCW
Death waits for no man
Posts: 1,110
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Post by Cory Steel on Mar 29, 2016 12:11:22 GMT -5
Why you do tis tah meh?!??! Cause it's kinda hot....Kelli going to have another male after her you keep it up lmao. If you win...DO NOT BEDAZZLE MY SHIT! Pleazzz noooo! Loved the RP though great work, looking forward to another great match! |
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Post by Eira on Mar 29, 2016 13:26:54 GMT -5
Why you do tis tah meh?!??! Cause it's kinda hot....Kelli going to have another male after her you keep it up lmao. If you win...DO NOT BEDAZZLE MY SHIT! Pleazzz noooo! Loved the RP though great work, looking forward to another great match! You did great work on yours, Jesse. I know I say it pretty much every time and it must get sorta boring to hear, but the upswing in your skills is impressive! Should be an awesome match. ^_^ |
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Cory Steel
PCW Icon
The Taint of PCW
Death waits for no man
Posts: 1,110
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Post by Cory Steel on Mar 29, 2016 13:45:35 GMT -5
I do not get tired of hearing that lol i need the approval!
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Post by Grimm on Mar 29, 2016 13:51:50 GMT -5
Brenna Gordon : I’ve read over the preludes and your actual RP, and I must say I enjoyed that. The general quality of the writing itself is quite good. It’s structurally sound, and it doesn’t read as if you’ve got a thesaurus by the mouse pad that you consult for every other word (because believe me, it’s obvious when people try to stuff their RPs with words they don’t typically use). The preludes give just enough information to provide a glimpse into the past without vomiting or dumping every little detail onto us. I appreciate that you’ve left a little mystery to things for now, because it’s more fun when stories like this unfold over a period of time. I know there’s been some discussion about whether or not Gordon is a little more than a normal human, but like I said, keep us guessing for now. And I look forward to reading more about her mother. That’s an interesting dynamic you’ve got there. As far as the ‘promo’ section goes, I did notice a shift in tone between that and the rest of the narrative. But as has been pointed out before in past feedback threads, it’s nice to see someone give credit to their opponents every so often instead of greeting us with the usual, “I’m way better than you, and here’s why you suck as much as you do.” This work so far makes me glad you’ve joined us here in PCW.
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Post by Brenna Gordon on Mar 29, 2016 17:37:05 GMT -5
Thank you for the kind words.  As is often the case with my characters, Brenna's 'CD voice', for lack of a better word, is fully-formed. I've got scads of ideas and I know, roughly, where I'm going since I try to leave room for other peoples' characters/fed-relevant storylines. Promo, on the other hand... that's still coming together. There's going to be a bit of a shift regardless between a blog post written by Brenna and the general narrative tone, but I know I need to dial it in on that front. I usually write uberfaces, so I think that's carrying through to a degree? Not sure. It's something to think about-- and again, thanks for that. ♥ |
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