No idea how long this will go, so a heads up to anyone who decides to read this.
The Seeds of Life – Chapter 06: This really sets up well for the events to come imo. Each of the three antagonistic forces (Seromine, Lunacy, Alexa) were discussed early and the angered emotion from Saniti towards them was on display. Of course it cost him some comfort to a healing arm, so yeah. SMOOTH MOVE, GENIUS. Kidding aside…
I like the use of N. Saniti in the fold while Nathan heals. I laughed myself sick over Kelli being censored and her discovery of it. I don’t know if anyone else will pick up on the follow to it, but to me, it’s a really good piece of insight into Kelli’s psyche:
She twisted around, her childish amusement evaporating with Nathan’s stern look. “My dear, of all of your wonderful traits, that sort of language isn’t forty-two of them.” Kelli looked dejected, almost to the point of tears, which caused Nathan to bring her in for a tight embrace. “I love all of you with my last breath.” That whole section is one of my favorite bits in this. The follow to it swung back to giving me a laugh. Humor = appreciated
I look forward to seeing the next chapters in this series. Really good groundwork here. I know that Dan wasn’t thrilled with his previous effort (rust sucks!), but this was back to form!
I’M BACK!!! (But only for this show): Welcome back (and to borrow a line from you and Nate), you piece of crap! Even if it’s just for this one victory show. You haven’t missed a beat. I loved how you set things up to seem like you were talking about just how monumental the T200 match is, only to throw right into some Hangtown style event (in this case the Pie Eating Competition). Pie Eating...sorry, having a flashback to Stand By Me. Anyone who has ever seen that will get the reference. If you haven’t, what the hell are you waiting for??
Back to the topic. This was excellent stuff. I don’t know what else to put without getting too long winded. I have always dug the events that populate the fictional town, the way in which the narrative gets framed (how far back does this stuff go??), the humor (“The Cheating Bastard” Phinehas Grimm), sharp dialogue...there’s a lot going on and all of it is freaking entertaining (looking forward to your Yuletide brawl).
I had a mark out moment over the mention of the 1992 US Dream Team. Talk about one of the greatest teams EVER put together in ANY sport. Jesus. Those were the damn days. The final portion was a really well put, detailed account of both teams and sold the fact that the heel side is STACKED. It’s a genuine honor to be working with everyone in this match. Idk if there has ever been anything quite like this when it comes to elimination matches, but boy it’s going to be fun. So yes. I am entertained. Thank you for asking.
I got your special deadline RIGHT HERE!!!: I nearly commented on the title alone in the Shoutbox this morning, but I had a bit of an adrenaline rush from it (lol!). I was also rocking some Night Ranger in the ol’ phones at the same time, so double fist pumps were going on. Nate is Nate, and that means one of the best writers I have ever read in my entire fed career (been at this for the greater part of twenty years). I was a big fan out of how the RP opened and especially coming from the VHS generation (I’ll take that any day of the week). The way everything was described set a serious tone and sold the fact that the World Title was gone from his possession (I’m holding out hope for a rematch. E-P-I-C Part 2).
As a poet, this rhyme really struck chords with me:
One for sorrow,
Two for mirth,
Three for a wedding,
Four for a birth,
Five for rich,
Six for poor,
Seven for a witch,
I can tell you no more.
The idea of anything being abandoned or giving off that appearance is quite a creepy (in the best sense) thought. I immediately think back to British horror circa 1960’s-70’s as a visual aid. Adds some ambiance to everything. HUGE fan of the Wicker Man in the middle of town. It’s one movie I drew inspiration from (the animal masks), so that’s great to see the physical idol get mentioned (off topic: It’s a great movie. Well, the original is. To hell with that crap with Nic Cage).
As with Josh, whenever Grimm and Sadistic have a chance to banter, more often than not here is some humorous gems:
“Remember that time I paralyzed you?”
“Yeah.”
“That was awesome.”
and the conclusion:
“Which is why, when the pie crust settles and they wipe the remains out of their eyes, he will have lost.”
Which makes me wonder: Who has won the contest the most?
Just Barely Hanging On: I said this in a PM, but congrats on winning The Deadly Rumble! One of my favorite things about the Majors character, is how his entire history has stayed with him. What I mean is that one character going through a real time age process, and then the memories, injuries etc being brought up. Added to it is the Ambrose attitude and you got yourself a never say die brawler. Things are grounded in reality with him. Like The Wrestler (I’m sure making a few references in this feedback. Jeez).
“Barely hanging on was how Rick Majors had been going through life for a while.”
^ That right there is what I’m talking about. Prior to it is him reflecting on the moment of winning the rumble. And post is him having a soul search about a previous, life changing event.
“When his personal life suffered, so did his personal life.”
“Murdoc hit him in the face with a fireball. Loki moved on to the Icemann Invitational Tournament Final. Rick Majors downed a bottle of pills, chased it with vodka and sliced his wrist open.”
It all nearly ended that day.
^This right here was an excellent pivot point to the road to recovery, which was detailed after. The chance at the World Title. The participation in the elimination match at T200. And the amazing run down of who comprised the heel side
“What had he gotten himself into? This is going to hurt.”
The last portion was going over what he found to be a bad idea both now and from mid-2009 on. I really, really enjoyed the hell out of this RP.
The Path to Power Part 4: Of Demons and Magicians: Got to love being a heel, right? Nothing says “I hate you!” quite like the plunder the fans throw, the gestures they flash and the words they bark. Alexa is absolutely hated by all and she could care less. That and she got free popcorn!
“I have to ask why are good guys so predictably stupid? I mean I saw what was coming a mile off and could easily stay ahead of whatever was planned. They almost make it too easy.”
I got a laugh out of the smug celebrating Alexa and The Darkness were showing as it pertained to the title retain and sticking it to Nathan and Friends.
The real gem of the RP was Alexa getting her powers back. Whenever the eventual showdown occurs with Saniti, it could be a really interesting contrast of magic spells. Especially with just how demonic they sound (boy when he has enemies, he really picks them).
“The playing field is even now Nathan your not the only one who knows arcane arts. My demonic powers are more than you’ll ever know. I’ll see you and your looser friends at Trauma.”
Bridging Memories – Part Four: Having read the MD roleplays and chatted with you during the time they were written, I second the suggestion of reading them. Not only because they lead to this, but because they are some really good emotionally charged pieces. The first part of this shines light on Dan and his youth that I feel bring sympathy to the character. It’s easy to get invested in the read and coupled with the trash talking in the second half, easy to root for.
“...which meant it he ran the risk of being returned to a family that looked at him like last Thanksgiving’s leftovers.”
The last three paragraphs before the promo stuff really set the tone. Knowing what is coming from it (harking back to our chats during MD), it’s sure to be powerful.
A FIERCE PROMO: I won’t hide the fact I look forward to reading this section each time there’s a Fierce RP. I love the sassy style of trash talk you bring to the character and as stated in the past, more often than not find myself amused by the way things are presented against the opponent. This was no different.
I’ve dug the mini-rivalry between Murdoc and Fierce and while I don’t have the power of match making, wouldn’t mind seeing the two hook up...wait, this is Fierce...wouldn’t mind seeing another showdown between them. I still have the visual of the ring going in flames and Murdoc laughing at it.
I’m STILL beaming over being called PCW’s version of Jim Jones. It cracked me up to no end and something I’ll be sure to wear as a badge of honor as I continue to develop Seromine. And because of such (as I said in our chat), I’ll make sure to force feed you the Kool-Aid in a rainbow cup
The dressing down by calling all but Grimm a coward and going through why plays right into what I was talking about with awesome trash talk. Each one down the line was really entertaining to read and in a way, felt like a roast. So kudos to that. Calling Alexa a hooker was damn funny. I won’t pick and choose my favorite lines from the promo, best to let others decide. But there was plenty that made me smile. Love this character. Always fun to have Fierce around.
GRAB BAG EXCITEMENT: Last, but not least, we have the always lovable Kelli Starr.
‘mousey, fibrous monstrosity that is an affront to wig-makers everywhere’ lol. Knowing Marie Antoinette is the inspiration (or an inspiration I should say), I can just imagine what is resting on her head.
The jokes continue about the wig from the resident lawyer: “Ms. Staronova, very good of you to see me – and to keep that dead Pomeranian off your head.”
Hahaha, “Yeah, those names that are going to try and kill the happy Halloween FUCK out of me.”
One thing I’ve noted in the past is how much I enjoy the childish immaturity. The thing that really comes across with the character is how vulnerable she is. It’s projected really well and when something bad happens to her, it lends a lot of sympathy. So when she and the lawyer are discussing the match and whatnot, she knows who awaits on the other side and not a single one of them are coming to play nice.
Her blushing at innuendo (in her mind, because junior high mind) is hilarious. She WANTS to say what’s on her mind, but actually resists in an attempt to be serious.
“Moving right past the being up your ass part, I’m concerned about this match.”
This is one of my favorite parts:
“Grimm. Murdoc. Alexa Black. Seromine. Even SADISTIC came back to try and take a chunk out of you. Who do you have in your corner? The guy who wanted to dismantle pro wrestling and now seems to just be a damage sponge for whoever’s needing to make an example. The most FABULOUS man in wrestling with his disco balls of steel. THEN QUESTION MARKS. There isn’t even a person listed, just question marks.”
(QM = The Riddler. Just sayin. Or Matthew Lesko).
Irritated now, her voice takes on an entirely uncharacteristic edge. “There’s NATHAN.”
“There is...and he’s hurt. Badly hurt. He won’t be able to compete, Kelli, and you know that.”
Her face falls at the reminder of her injured lover.
Great stuff
Later on, we get this:
“I gotta do SOMETHING though. Right now we’re 5 versus 4 for the “I’m Probably Going to Die, Aren’t I” match that SOMEONE thought was just a SUPER COOL idea. Yeah. So cool I’m pretty sure I’m gonna get pasted to the mat.”
Ever the bastion of mature, stoic gravitas, she giggles. “Heh. Pasted.”
I visioned that being read by a protesting teen who has just been grounded. One of those “It’s not fair!” types of voices. She’s well aware of how bad this could get from a physical standpoint and I assume she’s coming to grips in her own way with what could happen to her.
As with Nathan, I’m looking forward to seeing what comes next. What was it she saw in those mirrors? Awesome layer of intrigue that has me invested. Great stuff, Kris.
In closing...The best of luck to everyone involved in this match. I’m super-psyched to be part of it and finally, after a couple months (or more, I’d have to look at the chat) of planning it out and getting the participants on board, it’s here. To PCW as a whole, thank you for making this place what it has grown to become.
I’ve come to look at this as a second home and am proud to be part of the community. Writing for me has always been a theraputic outlet and a chance to express my creativity. To anyone who has ever read my work as “The Anarchist” Jason Willard, Landon Divine or Seromine, I truly do appreciate it. I’m my own worst critic and with regard to the current, am still learning as I go (as odd as that may seem given how long I’ve been writing). The Anarchist was my primary persona for the greater part of fifteen years, so to go from a Brian Pillman-esque character to a brainwashing Cult leader is quite a drastic change. But I love writing him and will continue to develop as I go forward.
PCW has a real sense of community to it. To everyone who has ever RP’ed, written a segment, written a match, given feedback, chatted on the boards etc, I say thank you again. Thank you for making this place special. For your contributions and for being in this journey. 200 is a HUGE milestone to reach and we should be proud to have made it this far. It’s a genuine honor and pleasure to be here with all of you.
