Collision Course 5 RP Feedback!!!

[Grimm]

The World We Paid For -- Okay, Kyle Shane , since you started an RP question thread over on the OOC board I am assuming you are open to commentary from current PCW members. Let me preface this by saying anyone who joins this federation can pretty much write any kind of RP they want, as long as it doesn't violate the decency standards we've established over the years. Said person may not win very much depending on the content of their RP, but that doesn't mean they have to change how they write. This is supposed to be fun, after all.

Now, that being said, I don't know how many other RPs you did or did not read when you were scouting this place out...but this piece is like 5 or 6 'typical' PCW RP's worth of material. I'm not the RP Police by any means, and I'll go ahead and apologize if this feedback seems inappropriate or out of line, but, dude, this thing is really long. I don't know if you'd want to mix and match parts of this and spread it out over a few cards, or post some of it in the "Around the Arena" thread, or what, but I would guess that you're going to have a hard time getting folks to invest themselves in your character's story at this point.

Again, I'm just trying to throw out a little (hopefully) constructive feedback to one of our new members. I really do hope you enjoy your time here.

[Kyle Shane]

I didn't take it as inappropriate as long as the intent isn't to say if I continue to write longer pieces I'm not going to win. I admit, I've taken a fair amount of shit for being a lengthy writer. In fact, in a fed Lunatic and I were part of that knocked off points if you went over length, I would still sometimes for 1200 words over. It's just how I always write, because I always try to add world building and character beats in.

Not saying I think length equals good, as I could have cut some bits out after rereading mine. But overall I think that I'm still finding Kyle's voice for the PCW, and establishing characterization, and that to me, especially for the story I had started telling, was gonna take some time to unpack.

I can be more conservative, but I'm just naturally pretty verbose. Sorry for that. I do think it's worth a read though.