Trauma 208 RP Feedback
Mar 1, 2017 11:34:19 GMT -5
via mobile
Eira, Nathan Saniti, and 2 more like this
Post by Grimm on Mar 1, 2017 11:34:19 GMT -5
Okay, so exceedingly brief feedback on most everyone’s RPs. I’m not going to break the posts down very much, but here ‘tis.
Hiroshi Yukio: I liked Yukio his first go-round, and I’m glad to see he’s back. His sense of honor and fair play is refreshing in this federation, and this RP does a good job of reflecting that. His compliments towards Warwyk taking the fight to him reflect his honorable sumo attitude.
Crazy Boy: Crazy Boy has had a bit of a rough patch lately, but he continues to dust himself off and step into the ring week after week. These tag team matches can be a good way to get oneself back on the right track, even if your team loses. If I had to pick on something, I would say that you’ve used this type of RP before in recent memory. As in, we’ve seen Tyrone sitting on a bench at the park (or at the beach, or sitting in his condo) several times, down on himself for not having much success lately, and vowing that it ends NOW. Not that they’re bad, it’s just that they’re not exactly the most original work you’ve done.
High Tide: Although your RPs since your return have been quite a bit better than some of your earlier work (in my opinion), some of them didn’t have much actually going on in them. I know that’s to be expected when you’re back from a long hiatus or bringing in a new character or something, because the nature of this efedding beast is you have to establish your character. All that being said, I’m glad to see High Tide preparing to embark on some actual adventures. That, and your writing in general seems to have taken a big step forward.
Warwyk: Wherefore art thou, Warwyk?
Olivia Xavier: Much like the days of Brenna Gordon, there are times when the character’s interior dialogue carries the piece, and that’s a tribute to your work here. Good description, swell verbiage, etc., etc, without droning on. You’ve given us some more insight into Olivia with this RP, touched on the ongoing story with Kyle Shane, had a girl-to-girl talk with Kelli Starr…you covered all your bases with some strong work.
Kelli Starr & Eira: You mentioned not having much opportunity to devote the requisite time to your characters this cycle, so I’ll group both of them together here. Look, we know you’re a talented RP’er. And though Trauma 208 was a bit of a hiccup for you, you didn’t no-show (yay!), and even though these two pieces are brief it’s obvious you did all you could. Chalk it up to one of those things and we’ll see you back at it soon.
Andy D: Quite frankly I haven’t been sure what your last few RPs have been leading to. There’s been no match relevance and no appearances of the usual suspects - which is your prerogative, of course. BUT they’ve been entertaining none the less, and they do make me want to see what happens next. After all, at the end of the day isn’t that what you want out of an RP?
Kyle Shane: I know I commented on the length of your RPs when you first joined, but now that I’ve been able to get past that I can see that these have been some darn good pieces, and this one is no exception. The conflicts within Kyle in regards to his own nature and his intentions with Olivia Xavier are portrayed really well here, I think. You’ve done a good job making him out to be more of a three dimensional character as opposed to something cliché. And even though those days are behind me, I dig the random gaming references you sprinkle into the work. Keep it up!
Whitey Ford: The whole flashback-while-drowning approach was a different take, and I for one appreciated it. I’ve always liked RPs that don’t read like the usual RP, even when the usual RP may still be a good one, and this structure was a nice change of pace. It seems like Whitey may still need to convince himself of his intentions to change, but it at least appears like he’s being sincere. That battle going forward will make for some interesting writing.
Dan Fierce I’ve recently adopted a policy of not reading my opponents’ RPs until after the results are posted, but I’m sure you did a great job.
Hiroshi Yukio: I liked Yukio his first go-round, and I’m glad to see he’s back. His sense of honor and fair play is refreshing in this federation, and this RP does a good job of reflecting that. His compliments towards Warwyk taking the fight to him reflect his honorable sumo attitude.
Crazy Boy: Crazy Boy has had a bit of a rough patch lately, but he continues to dust himself off and step into the ring week after week. These tag team matches can be a good way to get oneself back on the right track, even if your team loses. If I had to pick on something, I would say that you’ve used this type of RP before in recent memory. As in, we’ve seen Tyrone sitting on a bench at the park (or at the beach, or sitting in his condo) several times, down on himself for not having much success lately, and vowing that it ends NOW. Not that they’re bad, it’s just that they’re not exactly the most original work you’ve done.
High Tide: Although your RPs since your return have been quite a bit better than some of your earlier work (in my opinion), some of them didn’t have much actually going on in them. I know that’s to be expected when you’re back from a long hiatus or bringing in a new character or something, because the nature of this efedding beast is you have to establish your character. All that being said, I’m glad to see High Tide preparing to embark on some actual adventures. That, and your writing in general seems to have taken a big step forward.
Warwyk: Wherefore art thou, Warwyk?
Olivia Xavier: Much like the days of Brenna Gordon, there are times when the character’s interior dialogue carries the piece, and that’s a tribute to your work here. Good description, swell verbiage, etc., etc, without droning on. You’ve given us some more insight into Olivia with this RP, touched on the ongoing story with Kyle Shane, had a girl-to-girl talk with Kelli Starr…you covered all your bases with some strong work.
Kelli Starr & Eira: You mentioned not having much opportunity to devote the requisite time to your characters this cycle, so I’ll group both of them together here. Look, we know you’re a talented RP’er. And though Trauma 208 was a bit of a hiccup for you, you didn’t no-show (yay!), and even though these two pieces are brief it’s obvious you did all you could. Chalk it up to one of those things and we’ll see you back at it soon.
Andy D: Quite frankly I haven’t been sure what your last few RPs have been leading to. There’s been no match relevance and no appearances of the usual suspects - which is your prerogative, of course. BUT they’ve been entertaining none the less, and they do make me want to see what happens next. After all, at the end of the day isn’t that what you want out of an RP?
Kyle Shane: I know I commented on the length of your RPs when you first joined, but now that I’ve been able to get past that I can see that these have been some darn good pieces, and this one is no exception. The conflicts within Kyle in regards to his own nature and his intentions with Olivia Xavier are portrayed really well here, I think. You’ve done a good job making him out to be more of a three dimensional character as opposed to something cliché. And even though those days are behind me, I dig the random gaming references you sprinkle into the work. Keep it up!
Whitey Ford: The whole flashback-while-drowning approach was a different take, and I for one appreciated it. I’ve always liked RPs that don’t read like the usual RP, even when the usual RP may still be a good one, and this structure was a nice change of pace. It seems like Whitey may still need to convince himself of his intentions to change, but it at least appears like he’s being sincere. That battle going forward will make for some interesting writing.
Dan Fierce I’ve recently adopted a policy of not reading my opponents’ RPs until after the results are posted, but I’m sure you did a great job.
