Post by Joey "The Handyman" Handy on Dec 16, 2018 20:40:50 GMT -5
Collision (Course) Insurance
"Come in," answered the voice from inside the room.
Unlike the last time he has visited this room, Joey stepped in with weary confidence. Loki was beaming from ear to ear, sitting on the edge of the desk facing the doorway as if he knew exactly who was paying his an appearance. He began a slow and, to Joey, painfully loud clap. "MY MAN!" he practically shouted. "The newest sensation to be added to the PCW roster..."
Joey grunted, holding up a hand to try as if imitating a traffic cop would stop the decibels from assaulting his brain. "It was a one-time thing. I told you that."
Loki smirked at his charge, knowing full well just how many times he's heard that sort of thing from others before the "wrasslin' bug" bit them. He knew a little coaxing would be all it took, now he just had to figure out the finesse. Like a pro pool player planning his pockets, he lined up the shots in his mind. "We'll see. So... How did it feel?"
"Getting my head handed to me and the wonderful potential for a scar over my left eye? And the pain in places I didn't know I had places? Oh it feels fantastic. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pour a bottle of Excedrin into a coffee bean grinder and make a pot of 'holy fuck I hurt.'"
Loki couldn't help but belly laugh at Joey's reaction. Once he regained control of his humor, he continued his inquiry. "I was actually talking about how it felt to be in the spotlight; how it felt to give the fans a good show. Hell, how many maintenance guys have entrance music?"
"Nice choice, by the way." Joey collapsed into the couch by the door. "And calling what I did out there a 'good show' a dramatic overstatement."
"I'm glad you liked it. Once that song came up on the YouTube feed, I knew it was perfect for you, humor and all." Seriousness crept in on Loki's face. "As for your performance, it WAS good, for someone who really had no reason stepping between the ropes."
"See?" Joey snorted reassuredly. "One. Time. Deal."
Loki held up a finger and darted behind the desk. "Speaking of which..." He rummaged through the top drawer, unable to find what he was looking for, but locating it in the drawer under it. He produced a sealed envelope, fanning it like an obese person with a TV Guide watching the Food Network. He strode over, a sense of pride in his gaze as he handed the Handyman the letter. "Your first 'official' paycheck as a wrestler."
Joey strained to sit upright, moving as gingerly as possible, as if even the very air conspired to cause him agony. Without a word, he accepted the envelope, turning it this way and that, almost fearful of what lay inside. "So this is it, huh?"
"Yep," Loki chimed cheerfully. "And let me tell you: you earned it, whether you feel like you did or not." He watched Joey fidget with the carrier for a few more nerve-wracking seconds before he could no longer contain himself. "Well? Are you going to open it? I'm dying to see your reaction."
"The amount was in the contract, wasn't it?"
"It was, but apparently, you didn't read the fine print too well. Collision Course 7 was a very lucrative Pay-Per-View. Granted, the curtain jerkers get a smaller share, but..."
Joey's eyes widened, and he ripped into the envelope like a kid on Christmas morning. He liberated the check from its carrier and gawped at it, gobsmacked. The figure they had agreed upon had plenty of zeroes on it to begin with. Now, that figure had grown exponentially, the zeroes replaced by other digits, and a few cents thrown in for good measure after Uncle Sam had already removed his stipend. "Wait... this is AFTER taxes?"
"Yep," concurred the General Manager. "Pay-Per-Views tend to pay very well. Traumas don't pay quite so much, but they aren't anything to sneeze at, either." He paused to ponder his next few sentences very carefully. "You had more of an impact than you know, Handyman. Right after your match, people flooded the souvenir stands to try and buy a Joey Handy tee shirt."
Joey was speechless, utterly and completely without words, dumbstruck. He slumped back in the couch, his mind going a million miles an hour. It wasn't the amount on the check that had him dumbfounded, but that sort of reaction from the fans. The money was more in one night than he would have made in half a year as a backstage maintenance man, and he was always very well paid for what he did. No, his mind just couldn't grasp that sort of fanfare. Never in his life, has he even the slightest notion of that sort of adulation being zeroed in on him. His name on the program was enough of a adrenaline charge, but his name, or face, or whatever about him on a tee shirt? That people wanted? It was unfathomable.
"We made an executive decision to offer up rain checks to those asking for them. We told them that it would either be a limited edition tee shirt, or... well... I guess it would be just a limited edition thing, since you've already made up your mind." Loki could see the glint in Joey's eyes. "Hook. Line. And sinker," he thought.
He admitted it to himself; the thought had its appeal. The paychecks certainly pushed him toward caving in.
Then the image of Alexa charging at him with murderous intent shook that shit right out of his mind. It wasn't so much him being afraid of her as it was what had happened during the match.
He had just smashed Alexa with a European uppercut, causing her to slouch. Before he could capitalize, his brain flipped a switcheroo on him, momentarily replacing his opponent with a demonic entity of the darkest black, scaly skin. Her eyes glowed red fiercely at him as a forked tongue flicked its disapproval of his assault. He even thought he had heard the she-demon growl, "You're in over your head, boy!"
It was just a fleeting moment, but he had asked the medic overseeing his wounds after the match if brain trauma could cause hallucinations or schizophrenia. The answer had been that it could, and that if it continued to happen, he should check with his regular physician to have tests done. Joey chalked it up to just exactly that and moved on with his day, happy that his sacrifice was over.
Now he was here in Loki's office considering doing this for a living? That kind of stress? His mind flip-flopped. That kind of applause? No. That kind of pain! Yes! That kind of notoriety! His brain and heart arguing with each other like his kids in the back seat during a road trip made his head hurt even more.
Common sense and perhaps self-preservation prevailed. "I think we'll just keep it as a fluke and call it a day."
Loki's heart sunk a bit. He thought he had what he wanted. His lips pursed and he nodded. "Okay. I understand." Loki wandered over to his side of the desk. He saw a thumb drive on his desk and suddenly remembered what it was for. "OH! By the way... Could you look at this footage from the main event and see if you can figure out what happened with the top rope?"
"Sure," Joey took the device from his boss. He yanked the walkie-talkie from his belt loop and pressed the talk button. The radio squelched in protest, causing Joey to cringe in agony before speaking. "Handyman to Pit Boss. Come in."
"Pit Boss here. What's up, superstar?"
Loki laughed, knowing the camaraderie the backstage crew have with their own. Joey just shook his head, causing fireworks to flare behind his eyes. "Knock it off, Jim. Have you guys torn down the ring yet?"
"That's a negative," informed the man on the other side. "Why?"
"I want to come take a look at that top rope before you take it down, if you don't mind."
"Want me to cue up 'Weird Al' again?"
Joey was starting to get angry, but he quelled his temper. "That won't be necessary, smartass, but there could be some latrines that need cleaning if you have nothing better to do than make jokes."
"Roger that," guffawed the voice, a chorus of laughter accompanying him in the background.
He couldn't help but disarm his temper after hearing his crew laugh, even if he was the butt of the joke. He bid Loki farewell, pocketing the check as he snapped the door behind him. After a few moments of silence, Loki began speaking to himself.
"I hope you know what you're doing."
