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Post by Holden Ross on Jun 5, 2019 10:44:30 GMT -5
I am, and have been, an addict since i was 13. My older sister died and i started drinking and swiping my families pills (moms dads grammas whoevers). I have been addicted to drugs, pain, sex, or a combination of for nearly 30 years.
I spent the past few days in jail. Im not proud. And it may cost me my gf in the end. I have been on oxys and xanax for the past few months. Everything in my life has suffered from it, including my writing.
Im trying. I really am. And i apologize for no showing. My gf has been putting up a smokescreen on fb so ky family doesnt find out i was arrested. Again.
But its only a matter of time and they will.
Im sorry all. Sorry rick and Kyle. Its so fuckin hard....
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David Hunter
PCW Talent
If you're facing a Hunter, you should always fear the Deathshot.
Posts: 198
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Post by David Hunter on Jun 5, 2019 11:07:22 GMT -5
Shit I thought ibuprofen was a bad addiction.
Seriously man, take your time to sort your life out. This place will be here when you're ready, IF you're ready. Your life and health and relationships are more important than a game.
Good luck man, seriously. Addiction is a fucking sickness and I hope you're able to one day control it.
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Post by Gerard Angelo on Jun 5, 2019 18:23:57 GMT -5
A bunch of my friends and family have been dealing/dealt with addiction for years. It fucking sucks and I feel for you, bro.
D-Hunt hit it on the head with what he said. Life/Health > over fake fake fighting. Take your time and get healthy bro.
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Kyle Shane
PCW Veteran
There was a Hole here...
Posts: 879
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Post by Kyle Shane on Jun 5, 2019 18:52:26 GMT -5
My brother is in prison right now because his addictions got the best of him. I understand how hard it is, how it can hurt and how it never goes away. Praying for you man. On the positive side, you are alive, you are out of jail now, and you can start again. I hope you're safe. We'll all be here if you need us.
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Post by Holden Ross on Jun 5, 2019 20:57:22 GMT -5
If i come back, it might be as a different character...a lot of Holden was ideas while fucked off
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Post by Arsen Goodstone on Jun 6, 2019 11:00:33 GMT -5
I understand addiction and I understand how hard it is to even talk about it, even with relative strangers on an online forum. The only real choice is to try and get clean, but I can't give you any advice on that. You can make things better if you decide you really want to. Take care and keep us updated.
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Post by Grimm on Jun 6, 2019 12:52:36 GMT -5
I think everyone's already said everything, but I hope you manage to turn things around. Sending good vibes your way.
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Post by Holden Ross on Jun 6, 2019 18:51:40 GMT -5
as of right now my gf isnt leaving and i still got my job. my boss is an addict himself (yayo) and we might go together to get treatment.
myself, im going to an appt tomorrow. probably start all the detox and shit monday. its not gonna be easy but imma try my best.
ty everyone for the kind words
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Post by Rick Majors on Jun 6, 2019 19:29:27 GMT -5
Best wishes man. We've known each other through efedding for like 10-15 years or something and I wish you all the best. We'll be here when you're ready for us.
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Post by Gerard Angelo on Jun 6, 2019 22:18:50 GMT -5
Good luck, Frank. You got this bud.
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Post by Darren Hughes on Jun 7, 2019 10:37:45 GMT -5
Alcohol and beans, 2005 to 2016.
I know your pain, brother.
I think it's safe to say we're all here for ya if you need us.
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Post by Dominator / Mortimer on Jun 7, 2019 14:23:02 GMT -5
I think a lot of people forget that theres always help out there and there is never any shame in asking for it. You've made a big step already.
Hope all goes well for you, my guy. You're a good bloke!
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Post by Arsen Goodstone on Jun 7, 2019 14:53:10 GMT -5
If i come back, it might be as a different character...a lot of Holden was ideas while fucked off
When I created the PCW incarnation of Whitey Ford, I made him the literal worst person I could think of. Admittedly, I partake in some of the drugs he has done during that time, but for the most part it was a vent for me. I could get all the negative energy out and just write about heinous shit, stuff I would never actually do but 'what if' I was a real dirtbag, I might actually do. Maybe keeping Holden as a type of vent for you too, so you can acknowledge your problems in a constructive way and make it into a story. Things like that can have real depth to it and I believe it might even help with the process of being clean; y'know, just talking through a character. Just a thought, but you know you more than anybody else.
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Post by Holden Ross on Jun 7, 2019 18:21:02 GMT -5
If i come back, it might be as a different character...a lot of Holden was ideas while fucked off
When I created the PCW incarnation of Whitey Ford, I made him the literal worst person I could think of. Admittedly, I partake in some of the drugs he has done during that time, but for the most part it was a vent for me. I could get all the negative energy out and just write about heinous shit, stuff I would never actually do but 'what if' I was a real dirtbag, I might actually do. Maybe keeping Holden as a type of vent for you too, so you can acknowledge your problems in a constructive way and make it into a story. Things like that can have real depth to it and I believe it might even help with the process of being clean; y'know, just talking through a character. Just a thought, but you know you more than anybody else. ya know, i used a character back when i first started in 03, devo, Gerry might remember the name from ESW. i used him to work through a LOT of shit i had going on then. maybe ill use Holden for the same purpose
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Post by Holden Ross on Jun 7, 2019 18:23:37 GMT -5
i had my appt bout 3 hrs ago. not gonna lie, i almost walked out. i did a handfull of xannys and oxys and am going to burn as hot as i can this weekend....
cause monday is gonna suck
ps. i told her about this lil thing we do. she sugvested i co tinue writing...so maybe ill be back sooner rather than latet
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Post by Holden Ross on Jun 11, 2019 9:27:46 GMT -5
yesterday wasnt the worst....but today...fml...id give my middle nut for a few oxys
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Post by Holden Ross on Jun 12, 2019 17:26:13 GMT -5
no pills....and i feel like shit....
i am on my 3rd greyhound though
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Post by Arsen Goodstone on Jun 12, 2019 21:17:48 GMT -5
It's gonna be a while, buddy. But once your body kicks the addiction, you'll feel a million times better. I've seen a lot of my friends struggle with that part badly but when they pulled it off, they knew they made the right choice.
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Post by Gerard Angelo on Jun 12, 2019 22:46:40 GMT -5
Whitey is right.
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Post by The Anarchist on Jun 13, 2019 0:38:11 GMT -5
^this
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