Post by Holden Ross on Aug 11, 2020 19:25:54 GMT -5
The microwave “dings" and shuts off, prompting Holden to enter his cramped kitchen and fish his meal from within. A microwaved “tv" dinner, a “Boston Market" Salisbury steak with mac n cheese, to be precise. He places the plastic tray on a paper plate and make his way to his living and sleeping quarters. The Murphy bed is folded up into the wall and he is sitting on a small sofa, listening to the “Canvas Crawlers Podcast,” as it is being recorded, and broadcast, live. The host, Chris “Don’t-Call-Me-Bob" Seger, has just finished wrapping up several different wrestling shows, including P.C.W.’s most recent “Trauma,” and is about to preview next weeks show. Holden isn’t too keen on the tv “dinner" and pushes it aside and lights a blunt as Chris rehashes Holden's match with Razor.
“…..nobody does squashes anymore, has anyone else noticed this? There is no such things as “jobbers" or “enhancement talent" anymore. Everyone has to be special. Everyone has to be a winner…..even if they’re perennial losers! Look at Razor Blade in Pure Class. This fuckin guy got murked by the shows favorite listener, Holden Ross. Holden looks like a million bucks! Have you all seen this guy? He’s yoked out and ragdoll almost everyone not named Grimm in that company. On the last episode of “Trauma,” which is on Friday nights on The Superstation, TBS, Holden put on a damned clinic with this guy, Razor. Pummeled him. Beat him within an inch of his life before dropping him on his head with that sick, sick Vertabreaker. From there it was academic.”
The host pauses to take a drink and Holden listens intently, smoking his blunt. Through the wall, muffled bass from Mariachi music can both be felt and heard.
“And then the fun started,” he continues. “Holden looked to be about to go on one of his rampages and old Razor looked like he was the next to be put on the shelf. But out came David Hunter, the injured member of Pandæmonium, and he put a stop to Holden's destruction. Later, he announced he would be Holden's manager of sorts, which I love! David talks his shit and Holden backs it up. Beautiful!”
Holden rolls a fresh blunt, as thick as his thumb, while Chris covers the main event. When he finishes, he begins ranting about one of the matches on the next Trauma. Holden can't help but grin, listening to Chris, he sparks the blunt.
“- I mean, for real?! Rick and Grimm versus Pandæmonium?! Didn’t we just see this match not too long ago? And it couldn’t have been more predictable; at the beginning of the show Gerry and Holden mess with Rick and Grimm. Holden has the number one shot at Rick’s belt. Grimm and Gerry are treadin water so let’s throw the four of em into a Tag match! Its basic match booking one-oh-one….”
The cell rings in Holden’s hand, dialing the private number of the host, and after five rings it is answered by a young lady. She's Chris's assistant and put-s him on hold to ask Chris if he wants to talk.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I have a special treat for you all! One of our favorite friends of the show, Holden Ross, has called in! My assistant, Chloe, is patching him through…wait…he's patched in?”
“I'm here, Chris.” Holden coughs as he exhales a hit.
“Smokin the chronic?” Chris asks with a laugh.
“Only the best, Chris.”
“We need to hang out sometime. I love to smoke…”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Excellent. Now, Holden, why did you feel the need to call in to the hottest wrestling podcast in the World?”
Holden coughs again before speaking.
“Look, I just wanted to clear something up. Our bookers are doing their best. They know Pandæmonium is money and the fans always enjoy seeing a nostalgia act like Rick and Grimm. You can’t blame em for goin to the well a second time. This time I see the outcome being a little different than the last time the four of us faced off. More violence and a different outcome, for sure.”
“You are the number one contender to Rick Major's and the Genesis Championship and I can’t wait till the pay-per-view! Rick Major's always delivers and in his last match against you….it's gotta be a candidate for Match of the Year! Now, add Gerard Angelo who is, easily, one of the greatest talents in the business and Grimm, who is a living legend in his own right, of course the match will be the best on the card. But why do it again?”
The percolating of a bong can be heard followed by a coughing fit from Holden. “Sorry about that…. Why do the match again? Was anything settled last time? Pandæmonium doesn’t like Rick or Grimm; how big of a feather in Pandæmonium’s cap would it be if we were the ones to end Grimm's career?”
“What about Rick Majors?” Chris ponders.
“I, personally, will end his reign as Genesis Champion. If I’m lucky, I’ll get to end his career as well.”
Chris is quick with the next question. “Any thoughts of adding a member to Pandæmonium’s ranks?”
Holden chuckles. “We got our eyes on a few people. We just have to make sure they’re worth enough “
“Any clues as to who?”
Another chuckle from Holden followed by dead air. After about ten seconds the host, Chris Seger, realizes he has been hung up on.
“Well, it looks like we lost our connection with Holden….”
Back in his apartment, Holden washes the roach of the blunt and barely heard the knock at his door. Upon opening he discovers another plate, covered in foil, at his feet. Damn kid….
“…..nobody does squashes anymore, has anyone else noticed this? There is no such things as “jobbers" or “enhancement talent" anymore. Everyone has to be special. Everyone has to be a winner…..even if they’re perennial losers! Look at Razor Blade in Pure Class. This fuckin guy got murked by the shows favorite listener, Holden Ross. Holden looks like a million bucks! Have you all seen this guy? He’s yoked out and ragdoll almost everyone not named Grimm in that company. On the last episode of “Trauma,” which is on Friday nights on The Superstation, TBS, Holden put on a damned clinic with this guy, Razor. Pummeled him. Beat him within an inch of his life before dropping him on his head with that sick, sick Vertabreaker. From there it was academic.”
The host pauses to take a drink and Holden listens intently, smoking his blunt. Through the wall, muffled bass from Mariachi music can both be felt and heard.
“And then the fun started,” he continues. “Holden looked to be about to go on one of his rampages and old Razor looked like he was the next to be put on the shelf. But out came David Hunter, the injured member of Pandæmonium, and he put a stop to Holden's destruction. Later, he announced he would be Holden's manager of sorts, which I love! David talks his shit and Holden backs it up. Beautiful!”
Holden rolls a fresh blunt, as thick as his thumb, while Chris covers the main event. When he finishes, he begins ranting about one of the matches on the next Trauma. Holden can't help but grin, listening to Chris, he sparks the blunt.
“- I mean, for real?! Rick and Grimm versus Pandæmonium?! Didn’t we just see this match not too long ago? And it couldn’t have been more predictable; at the beginning of the show Gerry and Holden mess with Rick and Grimm. Holden has the number one shot at Rick’s belt. Grimm and Gerry are treadin water so let’s throw the four of em into a Tag match! Its basic match booking one-oh-one….”
The cell rings in Holden’s hand, dialing the private number of the host, and after five rings it is answered by a young lady. She's Chris's assistant and put-s him on hold to ask Chris if he wants to talk.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I have a special treat for you all! One of our favorite friends of the show, Holden Ross, has called in! My assistant, Chloe, is patching him through…wait…he's patched in?”
“I'm here, Chris.” Holden coughs as he exhales a hit.
“Smokin the chronic?” Chris asks with a laugh.
“Only the best, Chris.”
“We need to hang out sometime. I love to smoke…”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Excellent. Now, Holden, why did you feel the need to call in to the hottest wrestling podcast in the World?”
Holden coughs again before speaking.
“Look, I just wanted to clear something up. Our bookers are doing their best. They know Pandæmonium is money and the fans always enjoy seeing a nostalgia act like Rick and Grimm. You can’t blame em for goin to the well a second time. This time I see the outcome being a little different than the last time the four of us faced off. More violence and a different outcome, for sure.”
“You are the number one contender to Rick Major's and the Genesis Championship and I can’t wait till the pay-per-view! Rick Major's always delivers and in his last match against you….it's gotta be a candidate for Match of the Year! Now, add Gerard Angelo who is, easily, one of the greatest talents in the business and Grimm, who is a living legend in his own right, of course the match will be the best on the card. But why do it again?”
The percolating of a bong can be heard followed by a coughing fit from Holden. “Sorry about that…. Why do the match again? Was anything settled last time? Pandæmonium doesn’t like Rick or Grimm; how big of a feather in Pandæmonium’s cap would it be if we were the ones to end Grimm's career?”
“What about Rick Majors?” Chris ponders.
“I, personally, will end his reign as Genesis Champion. If I’m lucky, I’ll get to end his career as well.”
Chris is quick with the next question. “Any thoughts of adding a member to Pandæmonium’s ranks?”
Holden chuckles. “We got our eyes on a few people. We just have to make sure they’re worth enough “
“Any clues as to who?”
Another chuckle from Holden followed by dead air. After about ten seconds the host, Chris Seger, realizes he has been hung up on.
“Well, it looks like we lost our connection with Holden….”
Back in his apartment, Holden washes the roach of the blunt and barely heard the knock at his door. Upon opening he discovers another plate, covered in foil, at his feet. Damn kid….