Post by A Ghost in the Wind on Dec 27, 2005 15:02:35 GMT -5
PCW Tuesday Night Trauma: The Icey Awards
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Live on E! from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Nevada
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Live on E! from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Nevada
(The camera feed opens outside the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Nevada, focusing on the dozens of photographers, reporters, and fans all standing behind the valet rope, watching as celebrities and PCW Superstars alike make their way inside. With this special edition of PCW Trauma beginning in about fifteen minutes, a little timer is focused on the bottom, left-hand side of your screen, ticking down to the start of the show. The feed cuts to Miguel Malone, who is on the red carpet, mic in hand, trying to get PCW exclusive interviews with some of the guest, nominees, and presenters. When a former NBA World Champion walks by, Miguel instinctively jumps on the opportunity to interview him.)
Miguel Malone: Hey. HEY! "Worm"...I'm talking to you.
("The Worm" Dennis Rodman turns around, staring straight at Miguel before speaking.)
Dennis Rodman: What's up?
Miguel Malone: So, there's a rumor going around, you had to show your penis for some cash, just so you can afford to get here. Is that true?
Dennis Rodman: Dude, who are you? And what the hell kind of question is that?
Miguel Malone: I'm the reporter...I ask the question! And besides, I'm Miguel Michael Malone, the single greatest person this side of "The Icemann", who is the PCW Owner and my cousin by the way. Next question: How is it to not date Carmen Elektra anymore?
Dennis Rodman: You know, the time Carmen and I had was special, but we both have gone our separate ways. It ain't nothing.
Miguel Malone: Yeah. I believe that. Not! Why aren't you still in the NBA? I thought you were trying to make a comeback? Did you realize your skills are just horrible now, and you only won Championships because you were with, well, better players than yourself?
Dennis Rodman: Aight, Lil Man. I've had enough of you. Now I'm about to kick...
Miguel Malone: Well, I appreciate you being here. I have to talk to some successful people now. Bye.
(Miguel leaves Dennis standing there, with Dennis looking quite upset.....)
Miguel Malone: Jessica Alba! Jessica! Jessica!
(Miguel captures the attention of the host of tonight’s show, Jessica Alba, as he is strutting her stuff down the red carpet. She is wearing a silky, knee length black dress, running smoothly around her curves. Miguel only notices the cleavage she is showing.)
Jessica Alba: Hi!
(Miguel continues to stare.)
Jessica Alba: Hello…
(Miguel snaps out of it.)
Miguel Malone: Oh…sorry…Jessica…I have to ask you first of all, who designed your dress, because they need to be awarded a medal.
Jessica Alba: Hehe…well it was…
Miguel Malone: I’m not really interested in who made it…geese. Jessica, how do you feel about hosting the Icey awards here tonight?
Jessica Alba: Oh, I’m honoured to be part of this. I’m honoured to be the host too. I’m actually quite nervous. I have been a big fan of PCW for a long time and I always make time to watch Trauma on a Thursday night.
Miguel Malone: It’s Tuesday…
Jessica Alba: Sorry?
Miguel Malone: It’s Tuesday Night Trauma…it’s on a Tuesday night…not a Thursday.
Jessica Alba: Oh sorry…my bad.
Miguel Malone: If you weren’t so hot I might not have let that go. Jessica…what are you looking forward to about tonight?
Jessica Alba: Well, I can’t wait to meet the wrestlers. I've always loved The Rock and Hulk Hogan.
Miguel Malone: What the hell? The Rock and Hulk Hogan? They're washed up old farts. They aren’t wrestlers. They were never and never will be in PCW! What about the wrestlers in PCW?
Jessica Alba: Erm…I like Icemann…he’s cute.
Miguel Malone: What? Icemann is cute? Oh, you think Icemann is cute?
Jessica Alba: Yeah.
Miguel Malone: Well…did you know that I am actually Icemann’s cousin? We share the same genes. People often say that I look quite like Icemann. Some even confuse us with being twins. This is your lucky night. We’ve got about 10 minutes before the show starts. Maybe we can go backstage, find a janitors' closest somewhere and we can go BOOM BOOM!
Jessica Alba: Why you little…
(Jessica Alba hits an open hand slap to the face of Miguel, leaving a bright red mark across his face. She then storms off to get ready for the show. Miguel looks into the camera.)
Miguel Malone: She’s just playing hard to get.
(Miguel turns his attention back to the red carpet, where he spots PCW commentators Jerry Andrews and Mike Hunt.)
Miguel Malone: Hey…you two!
(Andrews and Hunt sees Miguel waving, whilst still holding his cheek from the earlier slap. The two commentators head over to see their broadcast college.)
Miguel Malone: Jerry Andrews and Mike Hunt, a rare day off for you two.
Jerry Andrews: Yeah, it’s good to be able to not do any talking on a Tuesday night.
Miguel Malone: I’m sorry, 50 Cent is coming this way. Can you both get lost?
(Miguel pushes the two men aside, making room for the rapper.)
Miguel Malone: Fiddy! How’s it hanging?
50 Cent: Cool man, it’s all cool.
Miguel Malone: Awesome dude. Fiddy, congratulations on your recent success with singles such as Candy Shop.
50 Cent: Yeah, yeah, man. I try to keep it gully. It's all good. I 'preciate it.
Miguel Malone: I didn’t like it to be honest. Actually I thought it was a bag of crap. But anyway…Fiddy…what’s it like to get shot 9 times?
50 Cent: Man, that's no joke. But ya know, things just happen and what not. It's coo. I lived.
Miguel Malone: It is cool. But I want to know who shot you, because they must have had a crappy aim. I mean, give me a gun right now, and I would make sure that you won’t survive the tenth bullet.
(50 Cent swings a right hook, aimed at Miguel’s head, but Malone ducks and scurries off into the crowd of photographers and journalists. The camera follows, chasing after Miguel and he pushes his way through the crowd.)
Miguel Malone: Some people have got a really short fuse. Get out of my way you fat little bastard!
(Miguel shoves over a photographer and exits the huge crowd, now at the beginning of the red carpet. Limos are pulling up along side and huge stars are stepping out. Miguel jumps in as soon as he sees Oscar the grouch being lifted onto the red carpet by his bodyguards.)
Miguel Malone: Oscar! Oscar the Grouch. It’s a pleasure.
Oscar the grouch: Heh!
Miguel Malone: You are presenting the award for most hated performer tonight. Are you looking forward to it?
Oscar the Grouch: Not really.
Miguel Malone: Great. Has anyone ever told you that you look like Non Compos Mentis in that dust bin?
Oscar the Grouch: Hey pals…this dust bin is top of the line. This is the best dust bin money can buy. That guy lives in a dumpster. I dumpster is the worst place that anyone can live. That Non Compos Mentis is a scruffy bastard compared to me. If you ever compare me to him again, I knock your head off. Take me away guys.
(The bodyguards lift up the dustbin and carry Oscar down the red carpet.)
Miguel Malone: Hey…there’s no one in the Limo…quick.
(Miguel tip toes across to the open door of the limo before diving in. He shuts the door leaving the cameraman on the outside. Miguel still has his microphone and is heard from inside.)
Miguel Malone: Who am I? I am Miguel Malone.
Miguel Malone: You’ve never heard of me? I am the lead reporter for Pure Class Wrestling and cousin of the Icemann.
Miguel Malone: What do you mean you don’t give a shit who I am?
(The driver’s door opens and out steps a tall, well built, chauffer. He storms around to the back door and swings it open. He reaches inside and grabs Miguel Malone and hauls him out onto the sidewalk.)
Miguel Malone: Whoa! Hold on!
(The driver dumps him on the floor before closing the door and returning to his position.)
Miguel Malone: Asshole!
…………
(The cameras switch to inside the MGM Grand, focused on the stage. The arena goes suddenly black until a huge explosion of fireworks fills the room with a flash of bright colours. The 30-second display is accompanied by ‘ooohhhhs’ and ‘ahhhhhs’ from the crowd, who have just made it to their seats. The fireworks subside and the light drift back on. Stood on the stage, behind the podium is Jessica Alba.)
Jessica Alba: Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you have all been waiting for. Welcome to the first ever Pure Class Wrestling Icey Awards!!
(The crowd erupts in cheer, as Jessica Alba stands patiently behind the podium, waiting for the noise to die down a bit.)
Jessica: First of all, on behalf of the owners and staff of PCW, I'd like to thank all of the fans and superstars for the wonderful year that 2005 was. The only thing they could ask more of would be to make 2006 even better!
(The fans erupt once more, even louder this time. Once again, Jessica waits until the crowd stops cheering to continue.)
Jessica: Before we have our presenters come out for the wide range of awards we have for them to present, there are a few that we're going to give out right now, just to start things off.
(She takes a few envelopes off of the podium, and looks down at their labels. She picks one, and opens it up. She pulls out a little slip of paper, and reads out what it says.)
Jessica: The winner of the Biggest Comeback Award, is none other than Benjamin Banks!
(The crowd responds to this with much applause and cheering, and then they get to their feet to pay tribute to Benjamin Banks, who recently was forced to retire from PCW. While waiting for the crowd to die down, she opens up another envelope and pulls out the slip of paper.)
Jessica: Ladies and gentlemen, The 2005 Most Shocking Moment Award goes to The Icemann, when he stripped Kyle Cross of the title and awarded it to Landon Divine at Trauma [10].
(The crowd boos loudly, and the camera pans to focus on Landon Divine in the crowd, with a big smirk on his face. The camera goes back to Alba, and she continues.)
Jessica: The Most Shocking Turn Award goes to Pegasus!
(There is a mixed response to this, some cheering loudly, some booing equally as loud. After a few seconds, it becomes rather quiet again.)
Jessica Alba: That is the end of our pre-show, now without further ado, the 2005 Icey Awards will officially begin. The PCW has provided the wrestling world with many memorable moments throughout 2005 and tonight; we honour the people behind those moments. Our first award is the biggest debut award. To present it, a man who will be making his PCW debut very shortly, Justin ‘Stormm’ Michaels!
(Stormm makes his way out from backstage before giving Jessica Alba a kiss. He then turns his attention to the audience.)
Justin Michaels: Ladies and Gentlemen. This award is for the biggest PCW debut. I myself will be making a huge debut when PCW has it’s next show in the new year so I am more than fitting to present this award. The nominees are.
Kyle Cross at Revival
Landon Divine at Trauma 7
Jake Sydal at Return to Glory
Grimm at Trauma 25
Justin Michaels: And the winner is…
(Michaels rips open the golden envelope and reads the contents.)
Justin Michaels: Landon Divine!
Jessica Alba: Ah, I know that Landon Divine unfortunately can’t be with us here tonight, but we can go to him via satellite. Landon are you there?
(Landon Divine comes up on the big screen.)
Landon Divine: Hey.
Justin Michaels: Hey Landon. Congratulations on your award.
Landon Divine: Hey yeah. Whatever. I’m sorry I can’t be there tonight. Well, actually, I’m not sorry. I have had enough with the PCW and I will not be returning. I am finished with the PCW. The only reason that I am collecting this award is to get a bit of cash off eBay. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.
(The screen goes black and Jessica Alba is seen with a puzzled look on her face. See must hear one of the producers in her ear, telling her to get on with it, so she continues as Justin ‘Stormm’ Michaels exits to backstage again.)
Jessica Alba: Now it’s time for the most inspirational performer award. Here to present it…give it up for Alicia Keys!
(Alicia herself walks out from backstage, carrying the sort after award. Jessica retreats to the back of the stage and Alicia takes over.)
Alicia Keys: The nominees for most inspirational performer are…
Maddog
Non Compos Mentis
Benjamin Banks
Mikey Wright
Pegasus
Loki.
And…the winner is…Benjamin Banks!
(Benjamin Banks gets up from his seat clearly overjoyed at winning. He goes to the stage and gives Alicia Keys a peck on the cheek before taking his award.)
Benjamin Banks: Wow…this is an honour. I have only had a short time in the PCW so this was unexpected. I’m pretty sorry that I will not be around any longer in PCW after I was forced to retire at Deadly Intentions. But anyway…thank you.
(Benjamin Banks exits the stage as Jessica Alba takes her place at the podium once again.)
Jessica Alba: Our next award is for the most heated rivalry award. Here to present it, two giants of the talk show, David Letterman and Jay Leno.
(The crowd erupts as Jay Leno steps through the curtain followed fairly close in tow by David Letterman. Both of them playing up to the crowd as they approach the podium, Leno gets to the mic first and speaks as Letterman continues to play to the crowd for a few seconds more.)
Leno: Ha HA! Hey everybody! Wow...sounds like there's a lot of late nighters out there!
Letterman: ...Late nighters who watch MY show. *achem*
Leno: What was that, Dave...?
Letterman: Nothing, not a thing. And now, here are the nominees for most heated rivalry. They are:
The Hunters and The Prophet
Pegasus and LoKi
LoKi and The Prophet
Sean Hunter and Ace Anderson
The Prophet and Pegasus
Ace Anderson and Non Compos Mentis
Landon Divine and Slither
Angelica Night-Hunter and Landon Divine
Leno: And the winners are....The Prophet and Pegasus! Come on up!
{The Prophet and Pegasus both begin to make their way through the crowd, each of them coming from opposite sides, The Prophet from the left and Pegasus from the right. Meeting at the center of the stage, at the podium, The Prophet looks around lightly as does Pegasus, before The Prophet takes the mic.)
Prophet: Most heated rivalry...and you're letting us stand on a stage together...with NO security? Who came up with THIS idea ? Icemann, this was RATHER poor booking I hope you know.
(The Prophet turning away from the mic, Pegasus moves into the podium as the fans let out a cheer, a cheer louder than usual, a stark contrast to the boos that the Prophet received.)
Pegasus: I think what the Prophet was trying to say is that though we did have a heated rivalry in the past, that's all behind us BOTH now. We actually get on fairly well...but, in the spirit of the Iceys, we'll accept this award graciously. Thank you.
(The Prophet and Pegasus separating and heading back to their respective tables, Pegasus carries the Icey with him as the camera switches to Jessica Alba, standing at the podium again with a beautiful smile on her face...though it's almost certain that no one is really staring at her smile.)
Jessica Alba : I now have the honour of announcing the award for the Best Match of 2005. There have been many great matches over the past year in PCW and these are just a selection.
The Rumble for the Gold
Pain of Glass match - Loki vs. Pegasus
Loki vs. Jake Sydal in a ladder match
The Icemann invitational tournament finals…Loki vs. Ace Anderson.
Jessica Alba: Wow. However, there can only be one winner and that is… the Pain of Glass International Championship match between LoKi and Pegasus at PCW's first Pay Per View, Revival!
(The fans erupt in memory of this great match-up, one of the most exciting matches in the history of the company. Loki and Pegasus both make their way up to the stage where Jessica holds up the trophy. Pegasus gets hold of the award first.)
Pegasus: I have to admit…the Pain of Glass match was nothing short of spectacular. It took us both to our limits and I’m glad that we put on one hell of a match for the fans.
(Pegasus moves aside to allow Loki to say a few words.)
Loki: Like Pegasus said, it was a great match. We put our bodies on the line to put on a show and I’m honoured that the great fans have voted it as the Best Match of 2005. Thank you. Wait…there is only one award. How do we…?
(Jessica Alba steps back up to the microphone.)
Jessica Alba: Oh erm…I guess you boys will have to share.
(Loki and Pegasus share a greedy stare before Pegasus turns and heads backstage, taking the award with him. Loki quickly follows.)
Jessica Alba: Now, here to present the Most Hated Performer Award, is Oscar the Grouch.
(Jessica Alba steps away from the podium, as multiple bodyguards carry Oscar the Grouch up to the stage, in his trashcan. They set him down behind the podium, but he doesn't reach the microphone. A bodyguard comes from the left of the stage, carrying another trashcan. He sets it upside down, and then a few bodyguards lift Oscar's trash can up onto the upside down one. He adjusts the microphone with his furry hand, and looks out at the crowd.)
Oscar the Grouch: G'day. Actually, I take that back. Bad day to you all. I've noticed lately that there has been some confusion in comparing me with PCW wrestler Non Compos Mentis. Well cut it out, he'll never be at my level. I'm meaner, better with the ladies, and probably a better wrestler than him too. But that's beside the point. I'm here to present the award of Most Hated Performer to a member of the PCW roster. Now, where did I put that?
(Oscar begins to frantically search the podium, and then he disappears into his trashcan. Seconds later, he comes out, holding an envelope up high. He opens it up, with some trouble, and then stares down at the piece of paper.)
Oscar the Grouch: So…the nominees are…
The Prophet
Pegasus
Ace Anderson
Landon Divine
Oscar the Grouch: And…I guess the winner is The Prophet. So if he wants to come up here and accept his award.
(The crowd begins to boo as The Prophet stands up from his seat and walks up to the stage. He reaches Oscar, and he takes his Icey, raising it in the air. He then grabs the microphone, and starts his acceptance speech.)
The Prophet: Most hated performer...most hated performer?! I should've been voted most LOVED performer for what I've done for the PCW since I came here! Buy rates have SKYROCKETED! I brought prestige back to two of the titles, the International Title AND the Tag Team titles! And yet, I'm the most hated performer? Ohhh...oh ho ho ho ho ho...well, PCW...if you think you've hated me NOW...just wait. 2006? 2006 is the Year of the Damned. BANK on that. And to all those Damned Souls out there...fear not. Your Prophet stands strong for you.
(The Prophet returns the microphone rather rudely to its' position and walks off the stage, carrying his Icey in his hands. Oscar is removed from in front of the podium, and Jessica Alba returns.)
Jessica Alba: For our next award, we'd like to welcome Ali G, he's here to present the Most Loved Performer Award.
(Once again, Jessica Alba steps away from the podium, and Ali G comes out to present the next Icey. He steps up the podium and adjusts the microphone.)
Ali G: Booyakasha! Wussup fans? Ali G in da house to and out da next award. I actually kinda think dat wrestlin is a bit batty, but ey, yous can do wot yous do. Ut before I and out dis award, I got a little story to tell yous all. Today, whun I got into turf, I tried to check into a otel, but I couldn't coz my credit card was brokun. So I grabbed some bitch and told a I needed to use a credit card, and thun I'd pay a back da Ali G way. She refused, so I did ave to bash a on da ead and steal da card. Anyway, wicked story if I do say so myself. Eitha way , da nominees for mostest loved performer are...
Angelica Night Hunter
Sean Hunter
Slither
Loki
(Ali G then opens up the envelope and takes out a piece of paper.)
Ali G: Da award fa da mostest loved performer goes to PCW's fittest diva, da one and only, Angelica Night-Hunter.
(The crowd cheers very loudly now, as Angelica Night-Hunter is in attendance. She hasn't wrestled for a while, but the fans by no means forget who she is. She walks up onto the stage, and graciously accepts her Icey from Ali G. She takes the microphone, and a few tears come to her eyes.)
Angelica Night-Hunter: Wow. I really miss you guys. I'll be back before you know it, and I'm coming back for my titles. Prophet, you will get yours once I return. But tonight isn't the night for that. I'd just like to thank my husband Sean for supporting me through all that has went on lately, and my friend Whisper, I couldn't have done this without you either. You guys kept me going when things got hard. So all of my fans, just sit tight, I'll be back soon enough.
(The crowd gives Angelica a standing ovation as she leaves the stage; they are still cheering when they return to their seats. Ali G leaves the stage, and Jessica Alba returns to the podium once more.)
Jessica Alba: Before we move onto our final awards of the night, the best Tag Team, Executive Award and best single star awards, we have a very special treat. Here for us, live, tonight, performing his single – Just lose it, Eminem!