PCW.com Exclusive: TRAUMA WARD! [Issue #1]

[Kai Walters]

Greenville, SC; October 13th, 2014: 

With Trauma 161 in the books, we have some new things to think about moving onward into Trauma 162! The show opened with a special message from YOUR PCW World Champion, whitey.  With the recent shenanigans and tomfoolery surrounding Eira, Murdoc, and the World Champion, Whitey once again displays his total lack of decorum and excess of cajones in his overt mockery of Murdoc - up to and including bogarting his entrance!  Looks like he's still Cock-of-the-Walk, full of that same Whitey Ford charisma and intolerable arrogance that we all know and love... 

...or at least we're all well acquainted with it, you can give me that much, right? 

Moving on in the show we see a nasty match between Stacy Jones and Alexa Black, the two competitors dishing out and taking massive amounts of damage. Both women put on a good show and a hell of a fight, but it was Stacy Jones who took home the win - while Alexa Black conspicuously lost her ever-loving mind only to be held back by her two cronies. 

Following that we see newcomer Xander Bishop up against PCW's very own pet psycho, Tyrone "Crazy Boy" Smith. Bishop gave it his all but fell short, with Crazy Boy picking up an authoritative (badly needed) win against the PCW rookie - let's hope it brings back that CRAZY fire!   

In related news,PCW management went on record to say that owing to @damian's consistently sub-par performance, he has been released from his contract and his agent barred from bringing further talents to try their hand here at Pure Class Wrestling. 

The next bit of action we see is a backstage clip a clever cameraman managed to catch of North American Champion Justin "Stormm" Michaels giving our new President Mr. Frank Foley some strong words of welcome - or warning!? It looks like PCW's Force of Nature is getting more than a little fed up with the slapdash management of a federation he's been a member of for nearly a decade. Will Frank Foley measure up, or will he be just another brick in the wall? 

Match three sees Cory "Cory Steel" Steel face off against Mike "Metalhead" Manson. THE BEAR was the second undercarder of the night to get an absolutely DOMINATING win over his opponent! Cory Steel lived up to his ursine call name by laying a primal, SAVAGE beating into Mike Manson! However, rumors have reached this respondent that call into question THE BEAR's ultimate goals. Disturbing whispers of his support of the Black Hand have begun to circulate - and it looks like he'll have his chance to sink or swim with the group at Trauma 162! 

In another piece of roster news, Mike "@metalhead" Manson has been released pursuant to the performance review conducted at Return to Glory V. Perhaps with some time in the indie circuits, Metalhead will gain the skills and accountability he'll need to perform at Pure Class Wrestling's standards. 

Next up... I have a special treat for you, yes YOU, here at PCW.com. Banned from the television broadcast of Trauma 161, we have exclusive footage of an explosive in-show event! 

*** 

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED! 

THE FOLLOWING FOOTAGE CONTAINS SCENES THAT  

SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND DISTURBING.   

THE VICTIM'S IMAGE
IN THE FOLLOWING FOOTAGE
HAS BEEN BLURRED TO
PROTECT THEIR IDENTITY 

The cameras are panning in on the crowd's between-match cheers and murmurs, lighting on a few amusing signs (HI, I'M DEREK COSMOS.), (LONG LIVE THE BLACK HAND), (WHITEY FORD FOR PRESIDENT), (MARRY ME KELLI STARR!), and (NEX ADDO) - but suddenly there’s commotion over by the guardrail! The feed shakes violently as the camera person spins around to catch the situation. As the shot focuses, we see Rick Majors standing at ringside, with the baseball bat in his hands. At his feet lies [VICTIM] face down. The attack wasn’t caught on camera, but it appears as though Majors hit [VICTIM] from behind with the bat.  

Majors now lifts the bat up once more and drives the end of it into [VICTIM]’s spine. [VICTIM] writhes on the floor in pain. Majors raises the bat again, to the horror of the crowd. Suddenly, PCW security rushes out to ringside. Majors notices them and he drops the bat and runs towards the ringside barrier. He manages to get one leg over the barrier when he’s grabbed by two security guards. He swings back violently, hitting one of them in the head with an elbow and momentarily freeing himself. He tries to get over the barrier once more, but security grabs him again. Again he swings at him, connecting with a right hand to a guard’s face. A second guard grabs him and tackles him down to the mats at ringside. 

Majors struggles, but he’s no match for the two guards. A third guard comes over and the three of them manage to pull Majors to his feet. He tries in vain to break free, but it’s no use. The guards drag him away from the ringside area and, presumably, out of the building. 

*** 

So, I don't know about you but - DAMN! What the hell has happened to Rick Majors!? Is this another instance like we saw with Mr. Showtime and Grimm? Has Rick Majors finally lost his mind for good!? Why the senseless attacks!? Only time will tell! Speaking of telling, you didn't hear this from me but... in the age of celebrity iCloud hacks and wikileaks, I'm pretty sure you can find fan footage in the murkier corners of the internet showing just what went down and who Rick Majors batted over the fence! 

Back to the show proper, we have Derek Cosmos and @soloman squaring off in match four. Soloman showed all of the watchers in attendance and at home that he's not here in PCW to play games - and Derek Cosmos has one hell of a shiner to prove it! We were treated to a rogue sound tech once again cuing up the Benny Hill theme as the self named Galactic Bounty Hunter gives us another display of his wacky hijinks! With his surprising brutality, Soloman earned himself some heat while the irrepressible Cosmos earned himself some PCW Faithful lovin'. Maybe he'll be in line for the Most Loved Icey Award!? Like they say - a laughin' jury ain't a hangin' jury. 

After the match we follow backstage to Derek Cosmos having a brief interaction with the new Boss of PCW, Frank Foley. At this point it's hard to tell whether Mr. Foley has a great sense of humor or is just mean, but either way... don't you worry, sugar. WE know you're Derek Cosmos. 

For match five it's Pure Class Wrestling's Underground Queen, Gem vs Joka. With the only match on the card being more mismatched (see what I did there? mis-MATCHed?) than this one being Kelli Starr vs Billy Sadistic, we're already off to an odd start. Joka makes a strong (if uncomfortably weird) entry, Gem having to meet him blow for blow simply to keep her head above water. The Joka certainly seems to have his technical skills down, regardless of the fact that he applies them with little to no apparent discretion or predictability. Gem seems to struggle later in the match to hold her own, but things all change when Joka gets a little too BAD TOUCH with his opponent. Gem manages to tear free of Joka and - it's my article so I can say this - beats his ass into the mat. A solid win for Gem, and a proud moment for her new PCW mentor, Loki! 

Match six sees Justin "Stormm" Michaels in the ring against Loki. Both longtime Pure Class Wrestling veterans, these are two of the most 'straight men' PCW has to offer. Neither gives much weight to gimmick or flair, preferring instead to win their matches and acclaim through sheer technical skill and prowess. In a solid, give-and-take match we're treated to just WHY these two men have gained such regard in the ring, with their colleagues, and indeed in the company itself. Joka appears near the end of the match, his disturbing presence and freakish antics distracting Loki from stomping Stormm's ribs into mush - just long enough for Stormm to gain the upper hand! The ring-savvy vet drops Loki in under a minute, capitalizing on the situation to tie his opponent up in a pin - and get the big W! Looks like we'll be seeing a lot more static between Loki, Tha Joka, Gem, and Stormm in the coming weeks! 

We were all introduced to Frank Foley, with the entire available roster called to the stage. Whitey Ford declined to grace us with his presence - and Foley gave us a damn good idea of what to expect. 

***

"I respect this industry...I respect the PCW Faithful...and I respect this company. What I don't respect is a World Champion who wrestles whenever he feels like it, yet demands to be in the main event. I asked everyone to come out onto the stage, and one of the faces missing is Whitey Ford. What does that tell you? Our fans...the PCW Faithful...deserve more than a foulmouthed, Man-Child representing the company as its Champion. We want the best of the best to be World Champion. And the competition level is not lacking. 

So this is what's going to happen. As you all should know, our upcoming Pay-Per-View is Deadly Intentions. Home of the Deadly Rumble. This year our Deadly Rumble won't feature the winner getting a title shot at the following Pay-Per-View. Whitey, you mentioned that it’d take each and every member of the roster to beat you. Well, my boy, this year .... the winner of the Deadly Rumble will be the World Champion, as Whitey Ford will be defending his championship against all of you! And we all know Whitey's going to try and cheat, manipulate, and swindle his way to a victory, right? Well, he can do that while being the number-one entrant!" 

***

And did anyone ELSE catch the "Oh shit, Dad's home!" look on Kelli's (doll)face when this went down? Looks like Frank Foley really DOES mean business, and Deadly Intentions V is shaping up to be one LOADED Pay-per-View! What are YOU most looking forward to in Deadly Intentions V? I hear the site has a poll where you can let us know and chat it up with the other fans - maybe even a superstar or two! 

SPEAKING of Deadly Intentions V, this respondent has the privilege of informing you, the fans... there will be a surprise appearance! Sure, the past Deadly Rumbles have featured retired or redirected talents, from Bucky Joe to The Icemann himself, but this one - this one is SPECIAL. Pure Class Wrestling's Deadly Rumble will feature a former PCW Champion - and a conditional one year contract has been signed! That's right, this superstar will be RE-JOINING PCW with the condition that they MUST appear for EVERY show booked (no exceptions), and any failure to compete will result in their immediate and permanent banishment from Pure Class Wrestling. BUT WHO IS IT!? 

Don't feel bad, I don't know either. 

Main Event #1 pitted Kelli "Dollface" Starr against Billy Sadistic. Both competitors here demonstrated UNDENIABLE mastery of their individual skill sets, Sadistic living true to his name and Dollface being that ball of rainbow chaos that we've come to expect. Kelli gets Sadistic down midway through the match with a picture-perfect sit-out reverse DDT, her pinfall attempt breaking at the 2 count. Sadistic returns the favor with a vise-like leg and ankle lock that nearly does her in! Retaliating with a beatdown that causes the referee to interfere and then physically restrain her, Kelli Starr also shows us the sort of termpemtnal savagery that's become her trademark as much as her brightly colored clothing. Sadistic hammers her back down to the mat with a vicious clothesline - then the rest of the Black Hand shows up! Grimm and Mr. Showtime emerge from the crowd, Kelli responding by launches herself over the announcers table to crash into both men! The crowd goes crazy for her as Andy D and Nathan Saniti as the final main event begins as a merging of the two! 

Showtime and Andy start out the action, a bit of back and forth between the two before Showtime tags in a reluctant Grimm. Grimm taking up the mantle of destruction begins to dismantle Andy D until PCW's Most Loved can get a tag in on Nathan Saniti! The behatted madman is in the action in a flash of purple and green suiting. Grimm is treated to his own dose of N. Saniti as Nathan applies the Shaken Baby Syndrome, getting a pinfall attempt that kicks out at 2, given back just a few moments later by Grimm with Nathan ALSO kicking out at the 2 count. The Black Hand looks to have some dissension in the ranks and before long the situation devolves into UTTER chaos with ALL SIX competitors in the ring! Then -  

*BLACKOUT* 

- the arena goes completely black! 

When the lights come back on, we see a repeat of Whitey's earlier shenanigans, playacting as Murdoc - only this time it's Murdoc himself and HE TAKES THE MASK OFF! 

Murdoc unmasked for the first time in months, fresh on the heels of Eira's injury by the Black Hand - and while Psychedelica was supposed to be protecting her as their teammate! All six superstars in the ring bail like rats from a burning ship - AND BURN IT DOES as all four posts erupt into flames! The bell sounds, and the match is ruled a no-contest; Trauma 162 will again pit these combatants against each other and the one thing we can be certain of is that it will end in nothing but pure destruction! 

Once again thanks for checking out this, the first issue of PCW.com Exclusive's new article series: TRAUMA WARD!

This is Kai Walters, signing off.