Character feedback...

[Deleted]

Just wondering if I can get some character feedback on my character "The Scarred Sentinel" Gabriel Cross, I know I've not written nothing here but still would like some feedback on the character from what I have written with him.

- G.C.

[Sadistic]

Allow me to preface this by saying that if you start asking for various feedback without offering any forth, it will probably rub people the wrong way. Definitely not trying to be rude, mang, but usually the best way to get feedback is to leave some for somebody else. Kinda one of those equal give n' take things, ya know?

Anyhow, let's do some character feedback:

I like the choice of Christian Bale for your pic base. It definitely fits your character. In your physical description, I notice the names Alex and Grey in there. I assume those are typos. Much of your ring gear includes "cameo" coloring. Is that supposed to be camo, as in camouflage? Either way, his description comes off as very militaristic, which also fits the character. His entrance attire reminds me of the badass ensembles the Shield would wear at some of the PPVs. Physical description seems spot on to me.

Wasn't "Whatever" Benoit's WWE theme? I loved that song, and I loved Benoit. I can see a bit of Benoit in your character. I actually modeled my character partially after Benoit when I created him years ago. I like your entrance, but my critique of it is that it's a bit on the long side. It's not just you, though. I feel like some of the other characters here have entrances that are too long, as well. My thought on it is that if you have a paragraph or so, the average reader will read it, but if it gets into the range of a page, people will either skim or skip it. But I could be wrong.

I really like "action packed" as a wrestling style. I've never seen that before, but it just sounds right. However, I think that being a risk taking brawler when one of your weaknesses is that he isn't much of a risk taker is a bit contradictory. Awesome background. Military brat, war hero, climbed the ladder of the police force. It all fits in with what you're trying to do with your character. Quick math here, though: If Gabriel joined the military when he was 19-20 and served for 5-6 years, how did he attain the rank of Master Gunnery Sergeant at age 33? And with 6 tours overseas, where did he find time to train as a wrestler and compete on the independents? Perhaps I read that wrong. Regardless, ending the bio with his wife and daughter being kidnapped leaves you with something to write about right off the bat and even gives the potential to include other characters. That's a good thing, as many of us struggle to find an idea or ideas to base our RPs around.

I think it's awesome that your weapon of choice is the police baton. Big Boss Man, FTW! I think you've got a really nice selection of moves from your finishers all the way down to your basic moves. They really fit your wrestler's ground-based style. You've also got a realistic set of strengths and weaknesses that completely make sense with your character. Aside from the risk taker weakness not coinciding with his wrestling style.

All-around, I think you've got a great foundation for an entertaining character here and I think you can generate some splendid RPs with the material you've got to work with.

Hope that helps.

If you've got the time, perhaps you could leave some RP feedback for Lunatic or Judge since they've already charged out of the gates and are probably wondering what people think.

[Judge]

I'll be honest the more I read the more eager I've been when I bring Cory back. I see some awesome joint work and feud fuel between us mang. Even with Judge (but I've got his first feud in the works).

Im not the best of feedback but know I do dig the character and the story so far

[Deleted]

Hey thanks guys, and Sadstic yea I understand on leaving feedback which I'll indeed be leaving some feedback and probably change the risk taking style of his wrestling to something else. Also Judge looking forward to hopefully getting something in the works as well.

I really like "action packed" as a wrestling style. I've never seen that before, but it just sounds right. However, I think that being a risk taking brawler when one of your weaknesses is that he isn't much of a risk taker is a bit contradictory. Awesome background. Military brat, war hero, climbed the ladder of the police force. It all fits in with what you're trying to do with your character. Quick math here, though: If Gabriel joined the military when he was 19-20 and served for 5-6 years, how did he attain the rank of Master Gunnery Sergeant at age 33? And with 6 tours overseas, where did he find time to train as a wrestler and compete on the independents? Perhaps I read that wrong. Regardless, ending the bio with his wife and daughter being kidnapped leaves you with something to write about right off the bat and even gives the potential to include other characters. That's a good thing, as many of us struggle to find an idea or ideas to base our RPs around.

No Sadistic you didn't read this wrong about the military part. I actually did some research on the Master Gunnery Sergeant and seeing how it didn't add up like you were saying I changed it to Captain (0-3) which makes more sense as it stated O-2 to captain (O-3) is four years in service and two years in current grade; As for the 6 tours overseas he found training and touring the independent scene on his time off away from the military base lol. Also thanks about the ending of the bio, I'll be adding more to that as time passes by as that's part of the current story I am telling with Cross.

Also note the style term "Action Packed" I didn't come up with a friend of mine by the name of Jason who handles the character Jason Cashe came up with the term. I got to give credit were credit is due. 
- G.C.