Trauma 176 Results: The Icey Awards

[Rick Majors]

In Association with E! Entertainment Television
Pure Class Wrestling presents
The 12th Edition of the PCW Icey Awards


Live, July 21, 2014
From the sold-out Peace Center in Greenville, South Carolina

The Peace Center is the venue of choice for yet another addition of The Icey Awards. The “blue carpet” is out, leading Superstars and celebrities alike into the building. Hundreds of squealing fans surround the carpet, excited to get a glimpse of their favorite stars, while inside the arena, fans, personnel, and celebrities- are sitting at their seats, all dressed to impress in their finest formal wear.

Some of the Hollywood's biggest PCW fans are sitting by the stage/ringside. The stars that immediately stick out are: Rob Lowe, Hugh Hefner and a few of his bunnies, Amy Poehler, Mike Tyson, Jon Stewart, Taylor Swift, Adam Sandler, Maria Menounos, Dee Snider, Aubrey Plaza, and Jim Carrey. As this is a ceremonious night, fan signs have been barred from the building. The feed switches to Jerry Andrews and Ace Anderson, also wearing their finest dress suits, in a booth high above the Peace Center.

Jerry Andrews: We are live at the Peace Center here in Greenville for Trauma episode 176. I'm Jerry Andrews, alongside my broadcast partner- PCW Hall of Famer Ace Anderson.

Ace Anderson: Don't adjust your sets. This spectacular view has been brought to you because tonight's one of my favorite nights of the year- The Iceys Awards!

Jerry Andrews: And you'll have a new member to join you in the Hall of Fame as tonight Nacho Grande gets inducted!

Ace Anderson: Nacho was one hell of a competitor and one of the toughest men I've ever had the privilege of being in the ring with.

Jerry Andrews: Not to dismiss his singles accomplishments but Nacho was much more of a tag team specialist, winning those historic titles as Los Dos Amigos with Heavy Metal and Los Amigos Dos with Justin Kaard.

Ace Anderson: Speaking of tag teams, there are two BIG Tornado Tag Team Matches scheduled for tonight, with the winners of those matches facing each other at Return to Glory to become the NEW PCW Tag Team Champions.

Jerry Andrews: In one match, we'll see Psychedelica go up not only against Judge & Jury but former PCW Tag Team Champions The Sea Men as well.

Ace Anderson: And the other match will see the return of former PCW Tag Team Champions and Hall of Famers Tha UnHoly Alliance, when they go up against Crazy Power, which is Alexa Black and Tyrone Smith, and a team really trying to make a name for themselves The Nobodies.

Jerry Andrews: Those matches are sure to be bonkers! But I'm being told that we're ready to start the show. Let's kick it to our host for the evening, Aziz Ansari!

With a customized version of the Parks and Recreation theme playing through the Peace Center, accompanied by a customized video on the PCW-Tron, Aziz comes out wearing a very dapper looking three-piece suit. With a microphone in hand, he aggressively signals for the music to be cut and when it does, he speaks.

Aziz Ansari: Oooh. That was dope. I've always wanted to do the, “cut the music,” thing and now PCW has made that dream come true. Yaaayyy. Bucket List item checked off. Check. With that out of the way, how's everyone doing tonight?!

The crowd cheers loudly.

Aziz: Well your night just got better...because I'm here to host the 12th edition of the PCW Icey Awards.

Cheers and cat-calls come from the crowd.

Aziz: And that means there were eleven Icey Awards held that I did not host. Which means you are in for the best one tonight. But without further ado, we're going to jump right into the first award for Most Loved. Please make some noise for our first presenter, PCW's own Derek Cosmos!

Presenter: Derek Cosmos
Past Winners: Angelica Night-Hunter; Lantlas; Pegasus; Nacho Grande (x3); Q; Kelli Starr; Andy D; Derek Cosmos

A much more softer, melodic version of “Galactic” by New Nobility plays and onto the PCW stage steps Derek Cosmos. Derek is dressed in a full tuxedo and as he walks to the podium, he moves his hair out of his face which does nothing but cause the girls in the building to scream in delight. After a moment the Galactic rendition fades and Cosmos speaks.

“Hi. I'm Derek Cosmos. At the last set of Icey Awards, I walked out to this very stage and received the Most Loved award from Santa Claus himself. It was the best gift that I could have asked for. Now it's my turn to give back and for someone else to feel the way I felt. Here are the nominees for Most Loved...

Gem
Nathan Saniti
Eira
Stormm
Non Compos Mentis

...And the winner is ...

... Nathan Saniti!”

Like magic, in a puff of smoke, Nathan Saniti emerges onto the stage wearing his finest top hat and a meticulous worn suit jacket and pants. Nathan walks over to the podium and extends his hand to Derek Cosmos. Derek ponders for a moment and then accepts the handshake before moving out of the way and allowing Saniti to accept his award.

“You clean up very well, Derek, my boy,” Saniti says. “I hope our last interaction together didn't sour you on me too much- that would stink!”

Ace Anderson: For those who aren't aware, Saniti's referring to an altercation he, Cosmos, and a few others, particularly those in the recently rejuvenated tag team division.

"But I digress...I just want to thank everyone who voted for me. I would not have bet money that I'd win this award today, especially with the likes of Gem and Eira in contention, but I'm far from disappointed. I'd love to go on and thank people individually, but I have a match that I most certainly want to prepare for, so I have to go. But thank you all so very much. It means a lot to me."

Saniti raises his award in the air for just a moment before, in a cloud of smoke, he's gone again.

Winner: Nathan Saniti with 38% of the vote (Runner-up: Gem with 31%)

The feed quickly cuts to Jerry and Ace in the booth.

Jerry Andrews: That Saniti really is magical.

Ace Anderson: And loved, apparently.

Jerry Andrews: Saniti has changed a lot since he first showed up in PCW and ever since he befriended Kelli Starr, he has been a constant fan favorite.

Ace Anderson: It is also that same Kelli Starr who turned her back on Nathan and joined up with Sadistic and The Black Hand. Nathan hasn't been right since.

Jerry Andrews: And yet, the fans love him and the rest of unStable for standing up to The Black Hand and sticking up for Dollface.

Ace Anderson: I don't think Dollface needed Nathan to stick up for her though. She's a big girl.

Jerry Andrews: Either way, those two will have to coexist later tonight and I am intrigued to see if they can get it together.

Ace Anderson: That makes two of us, Jerry. But right now, let's send it back to Aziz.

The feed switches back to Aziz, who is now wearing a zebra-print three-piece suit. With matching shoes.

Aziz: I told them I wanted to look like a stallion and they put me in this; Wrong horse family. Speaking of horses, I wanna give a quick shout-out to the OG himself, Playa Pegz, where you at brother?!

The camera pans around the arena until landing on Pegasus sitting in the third row. Pegasus smiles and waves as the camera switches back to Aziz.

Aziz: There are only two people I know who can pull off zebra-print: Referee Pegasus and me, Aziz Ansari!

Quick chuckle from the crowd.

Aziz: But we'll be right back with more of The Icey Awards right after this commercial break.

We return from commercial with PCW President Frank Foley walking through the backstage area of the awards show.

Jerry Andrews: Welcome back folks. There you see PCW President Frank Foley. I've been hearing that he's going to make a huge announcement tonight. Who know what it will be?

Ace Anderson: I've heard that it's about Return to Glory and a few new matches that have just been signed.

Jerry Andrews: Well, we'll know for sure in a few minutes, but now we're going to send it back to the stage for our next award.

Presenter: Katy Perry
Past Winners: Benjamin Banks; Lantlas; Grimm; Nacho Grande; Andy D(x4); Ace Anderson, Derek Cosmos

As the shot returns to the stage, Katy Perry can be seen stepping down from a golden lion statue and making her way to the microphone. “Thank you PCW for having me here tonight! What a show this is! Woo!" Applause. "Everybody goes through ups and downs in their lives and, when you're suffering through one of those downs, it's important that you have someone to look up to for inspiration. With that in mind, I am honored to present the award for Most Inspirational.

Here are your nominees:


The Black Hand (Grimm; Sadistic; Mr. Showtime)
Nathan Saniti
Stormm
Gem
Eira

And the winner is....

THE BLACK HAND!

Katy Perry's smile quickly turns to a look of nervousness as "God's Gonna Cut You Down," by Johnny Cash begins to play.

*STOMP**CLAP**STOMP*CLAP*

Billy Sadistic, Grimm and "Mr. Showtime" Michael Wryght slowly make their way onto the stage.

Ace Anderson: Okay, come on. How did these guys win "Most Inspirational?" What kind of sick person is inspired by them?

Jerry Andrews: Apparently quite a few....

The trio stands on the stage looking out at the audience. Katy Perry is long gone, perhaps disappointed that Kelli Starr isn't out on stage to share candy with. Michael Wryght walks up to the microphone.


"We've said before that we're needed. We've said before that we're right. We've showed the world the power of The Black Hand and the ability we have to inspire change. Those who are wise have chosen to follow our words. Now tonight I've heard rumors that Mr. Frank Foley is going to make some announcements. Mr. Foley, it would be very wise of you to look at us right now as we stand here named the Most Inspirational members of this organization and to follow our words as well."

With that, The Black Hand turn and walk off stage, leaving everyone more than a little confused.

Jerry Andrews: What did he mean by that...?

As the show returns, we're greeted with Aziz in an all gold jumpsuit and a microphone.

Aziz: Who does the wardrobe for this company? I told them I wanted an all gold suit and this is what they give me? I look like a freaking conquistador. I would say some things in Spanish right now, but I don't want to upset Johnny “Loco” Marquez, because he's crazy, holmes. Anywhooo...let me please introduce to you, Presidential Candidate and super rich businessman, Donald TruuUUUmmpppp!

Presenter: Donald Trump
Past Winners: The Untouchables; Non Compos Mentis; Jason Willard; Justin Michaels; AWAssholes; Areas; Marshall’s Law; Whitey Ford (2x)

With a quiet, instrumental version of, “God Bless America,” Donald Trump steps out and onto the stage. The Donald is wearing a casual business suit and a baseball cap that reads, “Let's Make America Beautiful Again.” Before making it to the podium, Trump tosses his cap into the crowd and then holds up two fingers on each hand in “peace signs” that would make Richard Nixon proud. The crowd reacts relatively negative but The Donald pays no mind and walks over to the podium to speak.

“It was kind of a running joke to have me out here to present the award for Most Hated because all I want to do is make America great again. But I know I may be the Most Hated non-politician politician in America. And for that, I say, screw it. Boo me if you want. Cheer me if you want. That's what makes America great. That...and Areas. Anyway, I can ramble for days so let me just present to you the nominees for Most Hated Superstar:

Joka
Alexa Black
The Black Hand (Sadistic; Mr. Showtime; Grimm)
Stormm
Dollface

And the winner is...THE BLACK HAND

*STOMP**CLAP**STOMP*CLAP*

Billy Sadistic, Grimm and "Mr. Showtime" Michael Wryght slowly make their way onto the stage once again.

Ace Anderson: Okay, see, I understand how they won this one....

This time Grimm is on the mic.

"Most inspirational. Most hated. We are everything we say we are. I would like to thank all of the brothers and sisters in the crowd who have supported us. You understand what the Black Hand is all about. You understand who we are and what we represent. Folks, this is just the beginning."

With that, The Black Hand leaves the stage as the show goes to commercial.

Coming back from a commercial break, we are joined by Jerry Andrews and Ace Anderson in the booth.

Tornado Tag Team Match
The Sea Men (High Tide & Wasp) vs. Psychedelica (Nathan Saniti & Dollface) vs. Judge & Jury
Referee: Eric Russo

Jerry Andrews: An incredible lineup tonight, two dozen talents slated to compete in two massive Tornado Tag Team matches!

Ace Anderson: That’s right, and this first match

Jerry Andrews: What makes a tornado tag match different from a regular tag match?

Ace Anderson: Now, I didn’t do much tag work overall, but the way I understand it, it’s three in the ring, three on the apron. A competitor can only tag their partner, the teams are not interchangeable. No count outs and no disqualifications, but in lieu of a DQa team can get ejected, thusly losing the match. No elimination either, one fall to a finish.

Jerry Andrews: For a career that didn’t focus much on tag work, you sure seem to know a lot about it.

Ace Anderson: I can neither confirm nor deny having sought out a ref or two before the show just to be sure I’d know what I was talking about.

Jerry Andrews: Teacher’s Pet.

Ace Anderson: I prefer to say “dedicated Hall of Famer”, thank you.

The announcers fall silent as the lights dim to nearly nothing and Alestorm’s "You Are A Pirate!" squalls out from the speakers, accompanied by effects that simulate lightning. High Tide (in a pirate outfit) walks down the ramp slightly crouched over, as if he was sitting. He holds a large pirate flag in one hand, and in the other he is imitating steering a ship. He does this until he gets to the ring where he motions dropping and anchor and proceeds to hop on to the turnbuckle and dive headfirst over the ropes, rolling into a standing position. Then he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and pulls out a spyglass, looking around at the audience. He mimics loading a cannon and as he motions firing it, he jumps off the turnbuckle into the ring (to imitate recoil) as fireworks shoot from all four turnbuckles.

Seconds later, "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N’ Roses comes shrieking out of the The Wasp may be a bit older, but he certainly likes to get right into things. The fans may not like him, but he loves the attention. When they boo him, he soaks in it and they usually start as he comes to the ring, the lights flickering on and off. He walks tall and quickly and motions for the fans to get even louder, even though they are booing. He hops over the ropes and goes straight to a corner and climbs the turnbuckle and gives the fans the finger, as the booing has usually reached a deafening level.

Jerry Andrews: Man they still don’t like Wasp.

Ace Anderson: Didn’t they have a tag team entrance?

Jerry Andrews: Thought they did, but they’ve been gone a while - maybe they just wanted to make an impact as individuals.

Ace Anderson: Fair enough.

The lights die.

The crowd silences.

A motorcycle reeves it's engine.

Bikes roar to life and over the pa-system it drowns out even the crowd! Spot lights shine at the top of the ramp as Judge and Jury take off from the back and barrel down the ramp on their Harleys, flanked by four other bikers.

"The Memory Remains" by Metallica blasts over the pa-system as the large men on their iron horses circle the ring.
Wait... Who's that?

From the backstage, a crouched figure pops from behind the curtain. It's Lunatic on a tricycle! Dressed in assless leather chaps (his red onesie is showing), and a leather studded vest, his normally spikey haired greased back, topped with a pink My Little Pony girls helmet. The trike is so small under him that he has a difficult time remaining on the thing as he pedals down to the ring.

As the gathered bikers park their hogs, they dismount, looking at Looney like he's a dog with two heads, some of them laughing at him as he simulates their maneuver, circling the ring and coming to a stop next to the final bike.

Judge and Jury shake their heads at him and make their way to the ring steps. Lunatic pops up from the miniscule carriage, a toothpick stuck in the corner of his mouth, trying to look "hard." He smugly begins to lean on a non-existing pole. Forgetting that gravity works, he stumbles backwards, bumping into the bikes, as they tumble like dominoes. The bikers who were laughing are now enraged at the buffoonish madman. they all look at Jury, who signals for them to get Lunatic.

Only too happy to comply, they give chase, Lunatic darting around the ring, through the ring, under it, barely eluding the gang members as they grasp at him. The chase music from Family Guy's Stewie's Sexy Parties begins blaring over the intercom. Lunatic pops out where no bikers are, looks at the camera and says "What? The Benny Hill theme was taken."

The gang members resume the chase, making loops around the ring. Everyone stops just long enough to do the fist pumping dance, and then the chase continues up the ramp. Before he can make a final escape, one of the bikers manages to grasp his collar. The four hooligans begin punching and stomping Lunatic into a pulp. Once they feel satisfied, the each give a final kick or spit on him as they exit the arena

Jerry Andrews: Anyway. Judge and Jury make a formidable team, but will they be impressive enough to beat both the former Tag Champions in The Sea Men and the circus of violence that is Psychedelica?

Ace Anderson: Psychedelica has its own issues - trouble in paradise is an understatement.

Jerry Andrews: Well, with Dollface as part of the Black Hand, and Nathan spearheading the new (un)Stable, what hope to they have?

Ace Anderson: IS Dollface part of the Black Hand?

Jerry Andrews: I... I don’t really know. Do you?

Ace Anderson: I don’t think even SHE knows.

The PCW arena goes dark, only camera flashes lighting the crowd like starfire, when Eric Turner's soulful voice rings out through the sound system.

"That girl, I shouldna let her go, cuz she's still dancin' in my head

That girl, I shouldna let her go, cuz she's still dancin' in my head..."

As the guitars jump in, twin spotlights hit the stage to light up none other than "Dollface" Kelli Starr! Dancing to the music, lost in a world of her own as the opening chorus continues.

"Oh yeah baby, keep on dancin' keep on dancin', she's still dancin' in my head,

Oh yeah sugar keep dancin', keep dancin', she's still dancin' in my head..."

As the heavy bass kicks in, the lights come up to half with purple and green lights strobing out over the crowd - and lighting up Dollface's ring attire! Her usual kaleidoscope of color has been replaced with a very specific, very pointed color scheme. Kelli's hair is swept up off her neck, her sugary pink curls cascading down from beneath a green top hat fascinator - a top hat trimmed in purple ribbon, a miniature card tucked into the same, and two jeweled hatpins holding it all together. A brilliant emerald green PVC corset with violent-violet trimming showcases her impressive cleavage from underneath a positively perfect purple paisley tailcoat. A bustled miniskirt of the same material tops vibrant purple and green harlequin patterned leggings ending in shiny black wrestling boots - tied with alternating violet and lime ribbon laces!

In short, she is a perfect nod to (or mockery of?) Nathan Saniti!

As the thumping beat and cruelly poignant lyrics of Eric Turner vs. Avicii's "Dancing In My Head" continue to rock out over the PCW loudspeakers, she makes her way down the ramp, giving high-fives, blowing kisses, dispensing hugs, and posing briefly for pictures with fans as she makes her energetic way to the ring! As she reaches the ring, she slips under the bottom rope and bounces around, electric purple and lime sparks showering down from the ceiling as she darts from one corner to another and hops up on turnbuckles to fire the crowd as she waits for Nathan to join her in the ring.

The opening guitar riffs of "Defector" by Muse shred the airwaves. Purple smoke lines the ramp as a pair of fountain sparklers flank the entryway.

"Free!"

Nathan steps out, planting his cane directly in front of his with both hands, a huge unnerving smile on his face.

"Yeah I'm free. From your inciting."

The Mystical Madman begins sauntering down the ramp, tipping his hat at the audience in appreciation.

"You can't brainwash me. You've got a problem."

He ascends the stairs, wiping his feet before stepping between the top and middle ropes. As he doffs his top hat with a flourish, an explosion sets off in a circle from each turnbuckle three times. He awaits the cheers from the crowd to die down a bit as he produces a microphone from an inner pocket. He slowly turns to a smirking Kelli, his unsettling grin fading in the process.

I know that you have your heart set on being a part of the Black Hand, my dearest Miss Starr...

The crowd jeers the Candy Girl heavily as she poses innocently as if she's enjoying toying with Nathan's emotions, but Nathan holds up a hand to stave them off. Nevertheless, Nathan begins smiling once again, a hint of mischief in his eyes.

"Now, now. Miss Starr is free to chose her path, as we all are. However, I believe she has chosen this path under false pretenses. You are being hoodwinked, my dear. Bamboozled by the Black Hand into doing their bidding."

Kelli's smug grin wilts away, replaced by a mixed look of curiosity and anger, yet it's unclear just whom the anger is aimed at.

"You may be asking how I came into this information. Well, I must confess I had to do a bit of chicanery of my own just to gather a few crumbs. Perhaps you recall a bit of unusual happenings at Living a Legacy?"

Nathan waves to the screen as a scene unfolds.

The fans jeer as the camera catches up to the newly crowned Intercontinental Champion, Kelli Starr as she skips down the hallway. Suddenly from behind her, she hears slow, deliberate applause. Sadistic looms out of the darkness, clapping slowly.

"Excellent performance, my dear."

Kelli flushes angrily.

"I WON. You SAID I just needed to win this."

Sadistic puts a finger to his chin in a mock-thoughtful gesture.

"I DID say that, didn't I? But I don't think you REALLY won. You could have done better I think, Kelli."

Sadistic lays a possessive hand on her shoulder.

"I don't believe you REALLY wanted to try. He's not TRULY defeated, he's not BROKEN. I just... I just didn't FEEL it, Candy Girl."

Kelli jerks back from his touch, hands fisted at her sides.

"You SAID! You said I had to win this title, and I WON!"

Sadistic leans in, hands on either side of Kelli's head, pressed against the wall behind her.

"Mind. Your. Tone. I just need MORE from you..."

Kelli cuts in, sounding tearfully desperate rather than angry.

"But you SAID you'd let him GO! No one's even SEEN him since the Deadly Rumble."

"If we are expected to give you what you want, well then, you need to give us what WE want. A deal is a deal... and your end isn't upheld until I SAY it is. It isn't enough until I SAY it's enough."

Kelli hits a quick punch to Sadistic's solar plexus, darting out from under him and out of the room, taking off down the hallway in a full out run. As she hits the corner, she runs full-on into... SADISTIC? Kelli crumbles into a heap of despair as Sadistic tilts his head curiously at her.

Meanwhile, down at the other end of the hallway, the man Kelli retreated from calmly saunter's in the opposite direction, purple smoke steaming from him, transforming his shape into... Nathan Saniti, who then softly speaks to an absent Kelli.

"I'm sorry, my dear. I simply wasn't getting the answers I needed the gentlemanly way. Now I have a starting point."

Kelli's face flushes with rage as she screams obscenities that would make a sailor blush at Nathan. Keeping his cool, Nathan brings the mic back to his mouth.

"You left me no choice, my dearest. I requested of my fellow stable-mate, Mr. Smith, to look into just whom you were referring and locate the man in question, the man whom you have been mislead into believing he was in peril. I think this may set your mind at ease."

Once again, Nathan flags towards the Trauma-Tron as the lights dim. "Super Soul Fighter” by Lenny Kravitz begins drumming excitement from the crowd. The sound of rocket ships can be heard in the background. The low ... but steadily rising rumble of engines. WHOOSH. KSSSSSSSSH. The doors open and ...

... out rolls the FUNK. The crowd is on their feet in anticipation as a much loved and familiar face pops onto the screen; the face of the Single Letter Superstar - Q! Q waits for the excitement to subside a bit as he makes himself comfy in a chair.

"HELLOOOOO PCW!"

The peanut gallery is eating this up! Q looks as alive and unthreatened as he ever has from the comforts of his living room.

"Kelli! Nathan! How is everyone? I've been doing well. Busy as a little bee, yanno? Look. I'll get right to it. I dunno what the Black Hand has been telling you, but I'm in no more danger now than I was several months ago, so whatever they've been telling you has been nothing but a pack of lies. Oh! And just so yanno that this isn't one of Nathan's tricks..."

Purple smoke billows up from the floor, surrounding the chair Q is sitting on, enveloping him and the seat completely. Within seconds, a second plume begins building in the center of the ring. After a brief time, the smoke dissipates, revealing none other than Q himself! The gathered masses explode with approval as he gingerly stands to meet a charging and tearful Kelli. The pair embraces as great friends would upon reunion, exchange greetings and a brief conversation before Nathan politely hands him the mic.

"Now I do need to say that you all shouldn't get your hopes up too much. I did this as a favor for my friends. Plus I wanted to see the Faithful one more time."

The crowd pops yet again, this time chanting "We want Q! We want Q!" Q waves to the throngs of admirers until they settle in.

"Kelli, you've been through a lot, and as Nathan has said, the choice of paths is yours, but don't make the wrong choice because you think I'm in danger. Make it because your heart tells you to. Know that he and I will be by your side regardless, without judgment in our eyes. No pun intended. Now, I have to go so you two can iron out your differences and win the tag belts."

Q seats himself again as the smoky spell reverses itself, placing him in front of the camera on the big screen.

"I'm not sure when I'll be back due to my injuries, but I'll be sure to keep in touch! Love to everyone! ALOHA!"

The screen slowly irises away as Q waves bye to Kelli, Nathan, and the fans. Nathan looks at Kelli with softened eyes.

"Whether you're by my side, or you continue with the Hand, you and I are destined to achieve this goal together, my dear. Now..."

Nathan bows and extends a hand to Kelli.

"Shall we dance?"

Kelli hesitates, looking towards the back as if expecting a vengefully possessive Sadistic or glacially disapproving Grimm. When neither appear, she takes his hand - looking nothing short of utterly lost. The revelation and emotional confusion leaving her flawless face a perfect blank, she joins Nathan in their corner and turns to Russo with the rest of the competitors.

Jerry Andrews: That - what - I don’t - HOW!?

Ace Anderson: It’s Nathan. He does things like that.

Jerry Andrews: Sadistic isn’t going to like this at ALL. Nathan has just lost him a member!

Ace Anderson: Nothing’s for sure. She might decide to continue working with the Black Hand instead of allying herself with the (un)Stable. You saw all that static between her and Alexa, didn’t you?

Jerry Andrews: This is going to get ugly.

Ace Anderson: You can say that again.

Jerry Andrews: This is going to get ug-

Ace Anderson: Looks like Russo is wrapping it up, and the match is ready to start!

Sure enough, the ref is closing up his instructions and the superstars in the ring are quickly deciding the match starters. Judge opts to remain in the ring while the implacable Jury takes up a position on the corner apron. High Tide and Wasp bicker for a moment, Wasp finally giving Tide a not quite friendly shrug towards the center of the ring before he steps between the ropes. Nathan stares at Kelli for a long moment before gesturing for her to take a place in the ring. Dollface steps forward, the shellshocked look on her face rapidly giving way to a darker expression. With the competitors in place and their tag mates on the apron, Russo rings the bell and the match begins!

High Tide wastes no time in hopping up the ropes in a flourish of piratey garb, crouching on top of a turnbuckle and waiting for an opportune moment. Judge chuckles and starts moving purposefully towards Kelli, the colorful beauty taking a moment to adjust her little top hat adornment - and promptly lunging forward to blast Judge in the jaw with a punch! The huge man’s head snaps to the right with the impact, the rest of his body remaining motionless - until High Tide launches himself into a high angle dropkick, slamming into Judge with the move and knocking the mammoth into Kelli to send both of Tide’s opponents sprawling.

Jerry Andrews: Looks like the Tide’s coming in!

Ace Anderson: How long have you been waiting to say that?

”I NEED AN ADULT!” Kelli shrieks as she wriggles out from under Judge, the man in question pushing himself up easily and adding a kick to Kelli’s ribs as she tries to rise! Dollface curls in on herself, Tide taking the opportunity to fire a diving spear at Judge! Both men crash to the mat and struggle for the upper hand, Judge more than happy to keep things grounded where his submission skills have the advantage over the high flying High Tide. Judge gets his center of gravity stable, manhandling the much smaller Tide into being FLANKED!

Jerry Andrews: One of Judge’s trademarks, we’re told, a nasty dragon clutch!

Ace Anderson: That one is never comfortable. All that pressure on the neck...

High Tide’s arms are flailing wildly, Wasp running around the edge of the ring, reaching, reaching... and making the tag! Wasp LEAPS in as the legal man, jabbing Judge full in eyes with a vicious two-finger eye poke! Simple, cheap - and effective, Judge immediately releases Tide to clutch his face, a big boot to the head from Wasp kicking the large man off High Tide, allowing the pirate to scrabble to safety! Judge recovers quickly and stands to face Wasp - only to be blasted in the face with a Candygram!

Ace Anderson: I’m starting to feel bad for his head. Already.

Jerry Andrews: With guys that big, it doesn’t generally hurt anything important.

Ace Anderson: ...

Jerry Andrews: Of course there are exceptions and LOOK AT THAT!

Not a mere distraction tactic while Jerry removes his foot from his mouth, Dollface and Wasp are in the ring engaging in an all out slugfest! The two superstars being perfectly matched in size, they’re hammering away at each other with everything they can pull out! Punch for punch, jab for jab, it’s more a brawl than wrestling. Judge looks on with arms crossed and an amused smirk on his face, more than happy to let his opponents beat the hell out of each other and save him the work. Leaving the two battling in the ring, he strolls over to his corner and tags in Jury!

Jerry Andrews: This is going to be so messy.

Ace Anderson: ...

Jerry Andrews: Oh come ON you’re not still mad are you?

Jury steps over the ropes and charges towards his oblivious opponents, leveling them both with a double clothesline! Starr and Wasp crumple into heaps, Jury pulling Wasp up and spinning him around in one movement to grab him around the waist and nail him with a belly to back powerslam! Kelli makes her way towards the corner to get a breather, tagging Nathan in! Nathan hops over the ropes like a dapper gentleman hopping a fence, hitting the mat and casting an eye over the situation. Wasp and Jury are brawling in the middle of the ring, the larger Jury making an inroad on Wasp’s endurance! Wasp backs up to his own corner and tags Tide in, Nathan interjecting himself with a few stray blows here and there. Irritated after one kidney shot too many, Jury ignores Tide to grab Nathan in an arm bar - which Nathan reverses! Walking Jury to his corner, Nathan politely demands that the more fatigued Judge steps in!

”Honestly, I’d hate to have to twist your arm about it, but...”

Nathan wrenches Jury’s arm up and back, Jury taking his free arm to tag Judge in! Kelli shouts from the apron to re-enter, Nathan darting over while the men change positions and tagging Kelli back in to the action.

Kelli sees her opportunity and takes it, running towards Judge while he takes a few seconds longer than she to enter the ring. She makes her mark, blasting him in the mouth with a mean straight armed jab! Blood (and possibly a tooth) burst forth from his mouth, but Judge wastes NO time in firing back with a brutally powerful heart punch - directly into Dollface’s sternum! Kelli goes flying THROUGH the ropes from the force of the punch, crashing ringside into a pained heap, Nathan immediately at her side! Judge wipes the blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of one hand, staring down at Kelli as she struggles to regain her senses, chuckling to himself.

”Dumb bitch.”

He never saw it coming.

Nathan EXPLODES into action, a light tap on Kelli’s shoulder making him the legal man as he goes tearing into the ring, the circles around his eyes pure black, dark veins spreading through his pale skin as he howls in pure rage. Nathan sends himself rocketing towards Judge and taking him down with a flying leg lariat! Rolling in a whirl of color, he twists around to mash Judge’s face into the mat! Not content to leave it at that, he grabs a fistful of hair and hauls the huge man upwards, yanking him back and down again over a waiting knee for a mean looking backbreaker! Snarling, Nathan shoves Judge off his knee, grabbing his hair again and dragging him to his feet, the size discrepancy making no mind to the enraged Nathan. Setting Judge up, Nathan lifts him bodily from the ground in a feat of inhuman strength and spins him around to bring him slamming down to the mat!

Ace Anderson: Whirling Dervish!

Jerry Andrews: Also referred to as “ouch”.

With Judge down and out on the mat, Nathan ignores the wide mouthed stare from Tide and the shouts from Jury, instead making his way to the corner where Kelli had finally gotten to her feet. A smile on his face, he extends a hand, Kelli taking it and stepping through the rings! Russo is immediately on them, but they ignore the referee, instead breaking out into a dance! The two perform a perfectly elegant ballroom dance once around the ring, and then literally WALTZ over the prone form of Judge! Russo threatening to eliminate them now, Nathan does one last spin with Kelli before gracefully lifting her over the top rope to the apron, turning to meet the slowly rising hulk of Judge! Nathan makes a show of adjusting his flounced cuffs as Judge, still unsteady on his feet, tags Jury in.

Wasp reaches into the ring just enough to slap Tide upside the back of the head, PCW’s resident pirate finally shaking off the haze of confused shock! Tide rushes forward before Jury can close the distance to Nathan, but Saniti halts him with a well placed boot to the chest! With Tide’s momentum gone, Nathan grabs the other man’s head and shakes it violently - Shaken Baby Syndrome! With Tide weaving on his feet and clutching his skull, Nathan sets Tide up like a backslide, pausing to apologize:

”Terribly sorry for this, my piratey friend.”

He then back-flips over his opponnent like a jack-in-the-box of pain, turning it into a modified DDT!

Jerry Andrews: Unreality Check!

Ace Anderson: It’s clear why Nathan was holding one of the most prestigious belts in PCW - when he’s on his game, he’s ON.

Nathan wraps Tide up as Russo comes in to make a count for the pin attempt, Jury nearly on the scene!

...1!

...2!

...

...3!

Winner: Psychedelica - Nathan Saniti pins High Tide @ 23:14

Nathan rises to his feet, a smile of pure elation on his face as Kelli skips happily up to him and wraps her arms around him - depositing a bright purple, glittery kiss on his cheek! She grins up at him as Russo lifts their arms as the winners, the crowd’s mixed reactions enthusiastic and loud - those reactions louder still as Judge takes a massive swing at Wasp!

Jerry Andrews: What?!

Ace Anderson: Come ON, the match is OVER!

A no-holds bar brawl ensues, punches and kicks flying, The Sea Men vs Judge and Jury! Security comes flooding out from the back to break up the nasty, gutter-fight melee going on ringside, Psychedelica all but forgotten in the clamor. Only Nathan seems to see Kelli’s cheerful expression cloud over as the implications of the evening really begin to sink in for the conflicted Starr.

Jerry Andrews: Ladies and gentlemen, we're back and - wow - what a match we just saw! Kelli Starr will now be teaming up with Nathan Saniti at least one more time as they'll be competing at Return to Glory for the tag team titles!

Ace Anderson: And she doesn't just have to worry about that match! She also needs to be very concerned about defending her International Title against a very determined NCM!

Jerry Andrews: We'll have more on that later, but now let's go back to the stage for our next award!

Aziz: Wow... It feels like I haven't been out here in FOR-EVER! Why would you wait so long to put me on? Bad decision guys. Maybe the worst decision that's ever been made.

The crowd laughs.

Aziz: Well, either way, I'm back and I'm ready to announce our next presenter. Presenting the award for breakout star, ladies and gentlemen, welcome Dave Coulier!

Presenter: Dave Coulier

Past Winners: Gem

The crowd looks on, somewhat confused as to why the former "Full House" star is here to present an award. Coulier walks out on stage and towards the microphone.

"Okay, enough, enough people. Thank you. Thank you. Now CUT. IT. OUT."The crowd laughs at this timeless joke."Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, here are your nominees for PCW Breakout Star:

High Tide
Derek Cosmos
Joka
Alexa Black
Dollface
The Nobodies [Braddock Frank Merritt & Bubba Reece]

And the winner is....

THA JOKA!"

Unfortunately, Tha Joka is not in attendance to receive his award. More than happy to accept the award on Joka's behalf is unStablemate Tyrone "Crazy Boy" Smith. Smith, in his wrestling gear, walks up to the podium and shakes Dave's hand and then speaks.

"Tha Joka isn't here to accept this award, but I will accept this award in his place. Because this is the year of the unStable! Until Joka's ready, I'll be keeping this one in my trophy room," Smith says before walking away from the podium without so much as a wave.

Winner: Tha Joka with 35% of the vote (Runner-up: High Tide with 25%.)

The camera feed switches over to Shane Dodge who receives his cue.

Shane Dodge: Hello Pure Class fans, I have a special interview. Ladies and gentlemen let me bring to you two of Pure Class Wrestling’s Hall Of Famers “The Anarchist” Jason Willard and Johnny “Loco” Marquez….Tha UnHoly Alliance.

Enter into the view is Tha Alliance, Loco first followed by Mr. Willard. Loco goes on one side of Shane and Willard stays on the other

Loco: SUGAR SHANE, LONG TIME VATO!!!!

Loco smacks Shane on the ass like they played sports together, while Willard puts his arm around his shoulders. Shane is a little bit shocked, but remains professional.

Shane Dodge: Hello gentlemen and my I say welcome back to Pure Class Wrestling. My first question is how is Tha Alliance feeling tonight?

Loco: Well Shane-o, me and the Anarchy Man over there, are feeling just freaking great. We have butterflies in our stomachs, no really, we had our wives cooking tonight. BUT, needless to say as you can see with the smiles on our faces, that we are glad to be back home in Pure Class Wrestling and in a match where we have a chance to move on to becoming World Tag Team Champions once again.

Shane Dodge: Your Triple Tornado Match will be against The Nobodies and Crazy Power. Crazy Boy and you have some history, but the rest you will be facing for the first time any thoughts?

Loco: Shane it is like this, with a team calling themselves The Nobodies, they are actually more dangerous than they appear. Don’t look at me like that Shane, I am serious. Because they are a team that is hungry and have nothing to lose and everything to gain. As for Crazy Power. Crazy Boy, you and I have danced before, I won that tango, but I have a lot of respect for you all these years. Do not take my words lightly my friend, you will see me across the ring from you once again. As for his partner Skrillex, I heard what you said about us, so did the Anarchy Man. Look, I understand you want to make a name for yourself, but ask your partner just how easy that is against us. You say that you two are my crazier than us? You even go as far as calling your little play group The (un)Stable. Loco wasn’t just a gimmick, it was my way of life. FOURTEEN YEARS!!!! I did each and everything I could to my opponents body along with my own. Going out of my way to end people’s careers and coming close to doing so with mine. But don’t worry, I will not go that far anymore, but I will not fall back too much as well. And for being Unstable, well….

Loco looks over to Willard, who seems to be in his own state of mind.

Willard: Oh Alexa. You scared wretch of a little girl. The past matches of hardcore in which you have competed in, don't impress nor frighten me. Like the other teams, you're an obstacle in our fucking way. See, you and your partner are in a stable based on the idea of being crazy. Ho-hum. Been there, done that, am that. I AM unstable. I will match anything of which you think is crazy, and rip you apart from the physical exterior of your shell, all the way down to the fragile soul inhabiting it. Pass that along to Crazy Boy, The Nobodies and whoever else will listen. And how fitting it is you freely use the expression "mopping the floor" considering that after your latest losing venture, it's all you'll be fit to actually do. PCW needs a good janitor. So run along, sweetheart. Show those dirty floors and toilets that you are somebody. Unleash that inner psycho on those who didn't flush. Us legends have tag team gold calling our names for a third time!

Loco: In closing, Nobodies, Crazy Power, or whoever steps in our way, always remember this….

Loco & Willard: The righteous ones, will parish in the flames of the wicked, as they raise and stake claim of the world. Tha Alliance is back and ready to bring the Pure Class Wrestling Tag Team Championship back home to California.

Tha Alliance exit the view.

Shane Dodge: There is no question Tha Alliance are ready to step into the ring, let’s see if their words will stand up.

As the show returns, PCW President Frank Foley has made his way out to the stage for what should be a big announcement.

Frank Foley: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. I hope you are enjoying tonight's Icey Awards. Now, as you know, coming up on Sunday August 2nd is PCW Return to Glory! We already have several outstanding matches booked for that show including the return of the Tag Team Titles, the TIIT winner Non Compos Mentis challenging Kelli Starr for her International Title and Gem facing off against Sadistic for the PCW World Championship.

The crowd cheers.

Frank Foley: Yes indeed. Now, I am here tonight to make a couple of announcements regarding that card. The first one is that, at Return to Glory, you will see arch rivals Grimm and Loki face off one-on-one... in a Buried Alive Match.

The crowd cheers even louder.

Frank Foley: Those two gentlemen seem to enjoy shovels and so, why not let them use them in a match?

Ace Anderson: Yes! Why not!?

Frank Foley: But that isn't all! Also at PCW Return to Glory, you will see "Mr. Showtime" Michael Wryght defend his North American championship against... EIRA!

An even louder cheer from the crowd!

Frank Foley: And THAT isn't all either!

The crowd is buzzing now. Foley is clearly enjoying this.

Frank Foley: As you know, our main event features Gem challenging Sadistic for the PCW World Championship. Now, that's a huge match between two fierce competitors and thus I feel the match needs a special referee....

Foley pauses for a moment.

Frank Foley: After serious debate, I have decided that the special referee for that content will be... EIRA!

The crowd cheers once more as Eira's name is again mentioned. Foley pauses. He clears his throat. He looks around for a moment and then continues speaking.

Frank Foley: Of course, I am a fair man. I understand the intense personal issues that exist between Eira and Sadistic. I recognize that some may feel that it hurts Billy Sadistic's chances to retain his title now that Eira is the referee for that match. In order to ensure fairness, I will also be naming a special referee for Eira's match against Michael Wryght. And that referee will be.... SADISTIC.

The crowd boos now.

Frank Foley: I realize that this may not be a popular decision with all of the PCW Faithful, but it is the only way to ensure strong yet fair refereeing in those important title contests. Thank you everyone and enjoy the rest of the show.

We return from commercial break with a quick skit from our host- Aziz Ansari!

Following the skit, we are brought to Jerry Andrews and Ace Anderson.

Jerry Andrews: Ladies and gentlemen we're back and, Ace, I think it's time for the second tornado tag match to determine the other team that will head to Return to Glory for a shot at the returning PCW Tag Team Championship.

Ace Anderson: Absolutely, Jerry. We had one helluva match to kick off the show. This triple threat tornado match will feature Crazy Power, the Nobodies, and the returning UnHoly Alliance. The winner heads to Return to Glory to face the unlikely yet reunited team of Psychedelica for the gold!

“Sick Like Me” by In This Moment blasts throughout the Peace Center as the fans come to their feet. Crazy Boy is out first and he's pulsating with energy. Alexa Black is out next with a twisted smile on her face. They receive a mixed bag from the crowd; some are booing, but the majority are cheering. Tyrone slaps hands with the fans on his way to the ring. As Alexa makes her way down the aisle, children pull their signs out of reach so they're not torn to pieces. The (un)Stable members enter the ring to await their opponents and despite their crazy reputation, they look to be on the same page and ready for combat.

Jerry Andrews: Talk about a volatile situation. Tyrone's ring name is “Crazy Boy” for goodness' sake. And don't even get me started on Alexa...

Ace Anderson: They're dangerous to say the least.

The opening bass and background percussion of “Killing Strangers” by Marilyn Manson fills the arena before a sexy guitar solo cuts through the bass line. Marilyn's unmistakable voice leads our villains out from the back. Frank smirks while surveying the crowd as Bubba capers and jigs his way down the ramp. Frank cackles as he heads down the ramp, several paces behind his cohort and while Bubba rolls in under the bottom rope, Frank stops at ringside, briefly, before bounding onto the apron. Merritt enters through the ropes while Bubba stands in the center of the ring, his fist raised in the air while Frank chuckles to himself, looming behind Reece.

Ace Anderson: The Nobodies might be a bit of a dark horse in this contest, but they possess excellent teamwork and they've been very impressive since debuting in Pure Class Wrestling. I'm going to predict right now that the Nobodies pull off the upset and head to Return to Glory to become Somebodies.

Jerry Andrews: That sounds good, Ace, except I think THESE two might have something to say about that...

Right on cue, the arena goes black and the crowd starts to buzz with anticipation. A bell tolls and the fans roar. A second toll prompts the logo of Tha UnHoly Alliance to appear in the aisle and the PCW Faithful have risen out of their seats. “For Whom the Bell Tolls” by Metallica riffs over the speakers as a third bell toll causes the TUHA logo to race from the aisle to the stage. Another toll and lightning strikes on either side of the stage simultaneously. A Loco symbol burns on the left side of the stage while an Anarchist logo bursts into flames on the right. A large explosion reveals a giant TUHA logo burning above the entrance as white smoke completely envelopes the stage area. Silver strobes start to flicker and the images of two particular men begin to emerge. The cheering from the fans is deafening!

Jerry Andrews: It's so loud in here I can barely hear myself think! Tha UnHoly Alliance is back, Ace, and these fans haven't forgotten. Listen to them!

Ace Anderson: Two-time PCW Tag Team Champions! PCW Hall of Famers! They never actually lost their titles on either occasion, Jerry. These guys are arguably the greatest tag team in PCW history.

Jerry Andrews: Greatest tag team ever, Ace? I think the Hangtown Horrors might have something to say about that...

Ace Anderson: It would be a dream match for sure. Right now, I think Loco and Willard are focused on winning this match, going on to Return to Glory, and recapturing the Tag Team Titles. The belts they never lost.

Tornado Tag Team Match
Tha UnHoly Alliance (Loco & Jason Willard) vs. The Nobodies (Bubba Reece & Frank Merritt) vs. Crazy Power (Alexa Black & Tyrone “Crazy Boy” Smith)
Referee: Ed Lane

Ace Anderson: The rules for this match are simple, folks. Three participants in the ring at a time – one representative from each team respectively – and traditional tag rules apply. The first team to secure a decision, either by pinfall or submission, will be declared the winner.

Jerry Andrews: I couldn't have said it better.

Jason Willard, Frank Merritt, and Alexa Black start for their respective teams while Ed Lane issues an abbreviated version of the rules before dodging the hell out of the way. Merritt, a monster of a man, looks at the Hall of Famer, Jason Willard, and cracks a sarcastic smile. Slowly, he walks up to the former Tag Team Champion and peers down at him, showing absolutely zero respect for the Anarchist.

Ace Anderson: Merritt is a Buick of man. He's got Willard by at least a couple inches and he's gotta be weighing in at WELL over three bills...

Having been observing impatiently from her corner, Alexa's fingers involuntarily clenching and unclenching with her head tilted to one side, she can't handle it any longer. Throwing her head back and letting out a deafening screech, she charges her opponents with a double clothesline! The warning was enough for Willard to duck the blow, but Merritt is sent staggering back into the corner. Alexa, the former power lift, charges Merritt and smashes him right in the kisser with a forearm before ricocheting off of him and charging at Willard. The Anarchist is quick to react and catches Alexa, lifts her into the air, spins her, and drives her into the mat with a textbook spinebuster. Almost instinctively, he locks the legs and immediately turns her into a Boston Crab! The fans instantly recognize the patented move and cheer their approval.

Jerry Andrews: Twenty seconds into this match and Willard's trapped Alexa in the Psych Hold!

Jason really cranks back on the hold but is forced to release it to duck a charging clothesline from Frank Merritt. The big guy puts on the brakes, but Willard has already hit the ropes and he catches Frank as her turns with a stiffer-than-shit lariat! Merritt is staggered as he clutches his jaw. The Anarchist catches him with a roundhouse kick beneath the chin and Merritt is wobbly. Hitting the ropes once more, Jason leaps into the air and spikes Frank's head right into Alexa's back with a nasty Tornado DDT! Both opponents writhe in pain as Willard quickly takes to the second turnbuckle to play to his fans!

Ace Anderson: As inventive as he ever was! It doesn't look like Jason Willard is suffering from the proverbial “ring rust.”

Willard makes the tag to Loco and the crowd loves it. Ready for a little teamwork, Loco Irish whips Alexa into the corner. Willard looks down at Merritt, then up at Loco before the two nod simultaneously. Pulling him off the mat, they both whip the monster into the same corner as Alexa, effectively sandwiching her in the process. Loco quickly latches onto Willard to Irish whip him into said corner, but Willard reverses! Loco, the 250 pounder, smashes Merritt with a clothesline before grabbing him by the back of the head and directing him right into a Jason Willard savat kick! Merritt crashes to the mat and Loco turns his attention to Alexa. Grabbing her by the hair, he sends her Willard's direction...except Miss Black explodes with a huge clothesline that sends Willard to the mat and out under the bottom rope! Loco, the legal man, charges the Black Widow with a flying cross body...but only to be caught by the powerful woman and driven into the mat with a violent front slam!

Ace Anderson: What power! What force by Alexa Black! She's got the ability to dish out tremendous amounts of punishment and the desire to enjoy doing it.

Alexa is clearly enraged and she wants blood. Probably Loco's blood. As evidenced by her pummeling him about the head and face with meaty fists. He covers up as best he can, but Alexa is relentless. Her hands are marked with Loco's paint by the time she pulls him to his feet by the hair. Shoving him into the corner, she follows him in with a big splash before waiting for him to stagger out of the corner. That's when she locks in a massive bearhug! Like a python, she squeezes the air of of Loco's lungs as he pushes under her chin in an attempt to gain separation. Eventually, though, the Loczter begins to fade. At this point, the PCW Faithful decide to get involved.

PCW Faithful: Lo-co! Lo-co! Lo-co!

The positive energy has breathed new life into Loco, but before he can mount a comeback, Alexa takes him over swiftly with a belly-to-belly suplex!

Ace Anderson: You know, as crazy as the fans think she is, that was actually a very wise move on Alexa's part. Took the wind right out of his sails before he even knew he had any.

Alexa gazes down at her pathetic opponent, clearly proud of herself, when she suddenly locked into a Full Nelson by Frank Merritt! Using her power, she struggles to break free from the much larger man. Frank's hold is firm, and he begins to shake Alexa from side to side before eventually spinning her around, hoisting her overhead in a gorilla press, and dropping her onto his shoulder for a rough powerslam! Still trying to shake the cobwebs, Merritt heads to his corner and tags in a fresh Bubba Reece!

Jerry Andrews: Bubba Reece is coming in with a full gas tank and a pair of opponents that are ripe for the pickin'!

The Ragin' Redneck doesn't even bother entering the ring. He heads right to the top rope. Sizing up Loco, he waits for the Hall of Famer to stand before sticking him with a diving clothesline! The pride of Lizard Gizzard, North Carolina pulls Loco up off the mat, lifts him onto his shoulders, and spikes him into the mat with a running Death Valley Driver! As this is going down, Alexa has managed to crawl to her corner and make the inconspicuous tag to Tyrone Smith. With Loco on Dream St., Bubba makes the cover and hooks the leg. 1...2...!

Ace Anderson: Crazy Boy with the Frog Splash!!!

Jerry Andrews: What timing! A split-second later and this match may have been over!

Ace Anderson: Love me some Crazy Boy!

Sure enough, Crazy Boy's pinpoint precision and titillating timing have broken up the pesky pin attempt, causing the crowd to surge. Crazy Boy is a crazy ball of fire as he haphazardly hurls Reece into the corner and begins to assault him both physically and...well, just physically, really. Fists, feet, knees, elbows. Maybe a headbutt or two. Bubba Reece has seen better days. Like a crazy bastard hellbent on getting his team a shot at tag team gold, Tyrone's passion knows no bounds. As Bubba Reece crawls out into the center of the ring, Smith takes the opportunity to lock in the Crazy Nerve Hold to his opponent's shoulder!

Jerry Andrews: Live long and prosper! Spock would have been proud.

Not ready to throw in the towel, Reece fights back. One elbow. What? Two elbows. What? Three elbows. What? And he breaks the hold. Itching to go back on the offensive, Bubba hits the ropes! Having similar plans, Crazy Boy does the same on the opposite side! Similar plans, indeed! Both men attempt flying cross body blocks...and both men pay the price! Like two 747s going head-on in a mid-air collision, both competitors drop to the mat clutching their ribs in utter agony!

Ace Anderson: Ho-ly smokes! That'll crack a rib for sure!

Jerry Andrews: That sound was sickening. Listen to the impact on the replay, Ace.

With the volume cracked up on the replay, the impact is, in fact, disgusting. Meanwhile, back in the ring, both Crazy Boy and the Ragin' Redneck are still feeling the aftermath of that train wreck. But what about Loco? Slowly, but surely, he's inched his way over to Jason Willard who is nearly trembling in anticipation of the hot tag. Taking notice, the fans begin to stomp and clap in an attempt to will the tag into existence. What did the hand say to the hand? SLAP!

Ace Anderson: There's the tag, and Willard is a ball of fire!

Leaping into the ring over the top rope, his weakened opponents stand just in time to take lariat after lariat after lariat until neither of them are either to stand. Lariat City, bitch? The Faithful are on their feet and Frank Merritt has seen enough. He enters the ring illegally, brushing past Ed Lane to clobber Willard from behind. Alexa Black is soon to follow. Putting their differences aside, Black and Merritt unleashing a dub-stepping on Jason Willard that even Kelli Starr would be proud of. Getting back to his feet, Loco scales the turnbuckle in a flash. Showing Macho-like quickness, he drops down onto Merritt's head with a vintage double axe handle. Ooooh yeah, dig it! Merritt is knocked to one knee, and it's become readily apparent that referee Eddie Lane has lost all control of this match.

Jerry Andrews: This one has gotten out of control, folks!

Ace Anderson: Yes. It's almost quite literally a tornado of a match.

Taking advantage of Frank's stunned state and in a ridiculous show of strength, Alexa hefts the three hundred-plus pound monster onto her shoulders before driving him into the canvas with her Black Widow inverted Death Valley Driver!

Ace Anderson: What strength! Frank Merritt has been completely destroyed at the hands of Alexa Black's Black Widow!

Alexa pops up to her feet and lets loose a vile scream that is cut violently short by a Bubba Reece boot to the stomach! The Shotgun Mouthwash is what he calls his superkick off the ropes, and it knocks Alexa through the ropes and to the arena floor. Turning to antagonize the fans – clearly not his fans – Bubba doesn't even see Crazy Boy coming off the top rope with a nasty missile dropkick!

Jerry Andrews: The Crazy Drop just dropped Bubba Reece!

Reece rolls to the corner. Biding their time, Tha Unholy Alliance hits a double clothesline on Crazy Boy that sends him over the top rope to the outside. Merritt has edged his way out onto the ring apron as Bubba Reece slowly crawls out of the corner and directly into the waiting black boots of Loco. Looking up at the Loczster, he stands and begins to back away. Until he backs right into a waiting Jason Willard. The arena begins to hum with anticipation. Bubba attempts to hit the ropes, but Loco is there to catch him with a knee to the mid-section on the rebound. In a show of experience, Willard has already climbed out onto the ring apron as Loco hits Bubba with a Slingshot Suplex. As Reece hits the mat, Willard is there like clockwork with a somersault from the ring apron. The vintage teamwork has the Faithful whipped into a frenzy as the duo lifts Reece off the mat and into the air for a double Brainbuster!

Jerry Andrews: This is it, Ace. The setup to the Point of Domination!

Tha UnHoly Alliance drop Reece on his head right in the center of the ring! Merritt has made it to his feet on the ring apron and he's greeted by a double dropkick from the Alliance! He tumbles to the arena floor as Jason Willard and Johnny Marquez climb opposite turnbuckles. Their longtime fans stand to watch the duo take flight. They both hold their patented cross poses before the arena is doused in camera flashes as the tandem takes to the skies. Willard connects with his 5 Star Finish at roughly the same time Loco hits his Shooting Star Leg Drop and the roof nearly comes off the Peace Center upon impact.

Ace Anderson: The Point of Domination! That's it!

Loco leans back for the cover as Jason Willard counts along with the referee.

1...

2...

3!!!

The fans erupt as “For Whom the Bell Tolls” starts back up! Willard and Loco hug in the middle of the ring as Reece rolls to the outside. Jason hits one corner to play to the fans while Loco heads to another.

Jerry Andrews: What a match! I don't think Tha UnHoly Alliance missed a beat here tonight. This sets up an epic showdown for the Tag Team Championship at Return to Glory that any wrestling fan can salivate over!

Tha UnHoly Alliance continues to celebrate in the ring.

Winners: Tha UnHoly Alliance via Pinfall @ 18:40

The feed cuts back from commercial with Aziz in a normal black dress suit.

Aziz: PCW Faithful...please put your hands together as I re-introduce to you...former PCW Tag Team and World Champion...“The Adreneline King” JUSTIN KAARD!

Presenter: Justin Kaard
Past Inductees: Lantlas; Ace Anderson; Pegasus; Heavy Metal; LoKi; Tha Unholy Alliance; Murdoc; The Fallen Five; Non Compos Mentis

'Attack' by 30 Seconds to Mars plays begins to play as Kaard, resplendent in a black tuxedo and white Chuck Taylors, takes the stage. The music dies down as he shuffles his note cards.

"You'll never make it. You're not big enough. You're not strong enough. You're not good enough. Phrases like these fallowed Nacho Grande his entire career. In fact they defined his career. A career of picking fights with big enough, with the strong enough, with the good enough.

While these phrases may have defined his career, they did not and still do not, define Nacho Grande. It's been called one of the greatest matches of all time, a match that no one is likely to forget. In fact I'm pretty sure some of the people in the audience still carry the scars from that night. I'm of course talking about the match that pitted the team of Los Dos Amigos, Nacho and 'Heavy Metal' Jacob Roth, against the Phinehas Grimm and Billy Sadistic. Standing up to two of the most dangerous men in our business, was he not strong enough?

When he again teamed up with two more legends in our business, Loki and Lantlas, to prevent a hostile takeover of the company that we all love, was he not big enough?

When he faced off against those same two legends for a well deserved shot at the Pure Class Wrestling World Championship was he not good enough?

When he and I fought through hell in a series of three of the most brutal matches in our companies history was he not big enough? Well considering he's got almost a six inches on me maybe we shouldn't focus on that.

The point that I want to make with all of this is that no matter what the naysayers threw at him, Nacho always had one comeback. "Yes, I can." Those three words, personified and defined Nacho. One only had to look past the sometimes silly exterior to see that inside beat the heart of a Champion. The heart of someone who wouldn't accept anything but the best from himself.

When I first joined this company, Nacho's best friend and mentor, Jacob Roth, took me under his wing. When Roth left the PCW landscape, Nacho picked up that burden. I was the Anakin to his Obi-Wan, the Robin to his Batman. Nacho Grande didn't teach me everything he knew, he didn't even teach me everything I knew. But he taught me that in the business fraught with 'woe is me' and 'Hulk Smash!' it was okay to be silly and have fun.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my profound honor to welcome the newest member of PCW to the Pure Class Wrestling Hall of Fame, a man who I am proud to call my friend and mentor. Ladies and Gentlemen, Nacho Grande."

The crowd inside the building rises in a standing ovation for the newest member of the PCW Hall of Fame. Nacho Grande walks out and pauses for a moment to look out at the crowd. He then walks over to Kaard, shakes his hand and turns to the audience.

"I can't ever say I thought I'd be here, or at least on this side of the stage for this reason. I was always the joke, the side thought, the guy who was fun but was never meant to be taken seriously as a competitor, and to many I still am. I don't even know if my young friend takes me seriously, as for some reason I haven't seen her in a long time. Yet, she and I have something in common, and if any of you are familiar with my work, you know exactly what that is.

When I was brought into PCW, people enjoyed the backstage antics my friends and I would play. Pop cultural references galore, superhero pajamas, oh that's so silly, but let's never take your wrestling talent seriously. I was continually looked over when it came time to fill in a spot in a big match, but Nacho was always available for an easy, low-card pop. Like my friend Gem, we had to force others to take us seriously, and to this day, it still hasn't worked for everyone. There are those who make the mistake of underestimating us, especially when you reach our darkest moments. That is where lessons are learned and legacies are established.

Even one Frank Foley while talking about why he inducted me said that I never managed to find singles success, and yet my matches against Ace Anderson and Grimm would say otherwise. I'm remembered for my tag team specialist success, where both Heavy Metal and Justin Kaard teamed up with me to achieve the gold. Let's remember that alliance with Heavy Metal, wherever he may be this night, and consider who our opponents were. Grimm and Sadistic, at the time when they were notorious for ending careers, and they did their damndest to end ours, but they just couldn't put us away. We lost. A lot, believe me, but they could not keep us down. Finally, we beat them for the tag team championships, and the consequence was that I lost my best friend and tag team partner. They got to one of us. I wish he was standing here tonight instead of me.

When you look over my PCW resume, you see words like "inspirational," something I was voted to be more than once. That, above any championship, is the best thing that could've ever happened to me in this business. The truth is, I was never the type to belong in this business. I didn't have the imposing size or the mic savvy, I wasn't intimidating, and I wasn't a physical specimen. What I was though was a kid with heart, someone who was willing to go against any odds to both make people laugh and to put on the best damn show I could. Heart is what got me inducted into the Hall-of-Fame, not talent. Because in reality, I'm an overachiever who tried harder than anyone else ever could, not the chosen one, not the warrior's one, but the one who wanted it the most...

And I want it again. My Hall-of-Fame career isn't over yet. One of these days, I've got some words for Sadistic, who still has to pay for ending the career of my best friend and taking Jacob Roth from all of you, but in the meantime, someone sent up the Nacho signal because they were in need of assistance. Like Justin Kaard before him, I accepted his offer, because I legitimately had to come out of retirement to find out if this guy is as out of his freaking mind as he seems. Therefore, I'm officially announcing my return to Pure Class Wrestling, and sending a note for inscription of my name once again on a tag team championship belt, as part of my new tag team, Cosmic Nachos. That's right, I am the Hall-of-Fame tag team partner of Derek Cosmos, and you had better believe that you have not seen or heard the last of Nacho Grande, because I have a lot of loose ends to tie up. Some knots, some nooses. We'll see in time.

But because this has been so serious, I'll end with this. Beef Supreme, Quesa Dilla, get your silly asses up here.

Let's do the Nacho dance one time, Hall-of-Fame Style. Hit it!"

"HANGIN' TOUGH!

OHH OH OH OHH OH!"

The feed fades out to a commercial.

Presenter: Frank Foley

Past Winners: Ace Anderson {2x}; Lantlas; Heavy Metal; LoKi; Grimm (x2); Whitey Ford (x3); Andy D

As the show returns, PCW President Frank Foley once again walks out onto the stage. He walks over to the podium and begins to speak.

“Each time that we gather for this awards show, we celebrate the best that PCW has to offer. And we have a lot to offer. So, it is without further ado that I announce the nominees for Best Singles Star.

And the nominees are:

Nathan Saniti
Non Compos Mentis
Eira
Gem
Sadistic

And the winner is....

SADISTIC!



Winner: Sadistic with 59% of the vote (Runner-up: Gem with 35%.)

As the opening to "Paint it Black" twangs over the speakers, the Phenom strolls out from the back; slowly and deliberately. Sadistic casually makes his way over to the podium. There is a relatively tense moment as Sadistic stares at Foley before smiling and accepting the award. He then starts to speak.

"This award shows what everyone else has known for quite some time. This entire company is under Black Hand rule. We are unstoppable. No matter who is put in front of us, the (un)Stable or Eira or NCM or little fleas like Gem...."

Sadistic seems disgusted to even say her name.

"For those like Gem who feel that they can stand in our way - who think they can stand in MY way - they will get slapped around and embarrassed just like that little waste of space will get slapped around at Return to Glory. She doesn't deserve to..."

In an instant, and in true assassin form, Gem has appeared from the darkness and is waiting patiently on the other side of the stage. Her normal innocent look is nowhere to be found. She's a cold, hard killing machine and her eyes are locked directly on her target: Billy Sadistic. Sadistic doesn't take kindly to Gem crashing his party. He hurls a few insults at her.

"She's lucky to even be in the same ring as me. She needs to go back to the Underground where she belongs. She wouldn't have gotten anywhere in PCW if it weren't for her second-rate, washed up, sham of a PCW 'Legend' father, Lantlas Anduril...a 'Legend' who hasn't had enough guts to show his face in public since his daughter embarrassed him at Living a Legacy."

Gem continues to issue him a cold stare, almost goading him to attack her. Sadistic finally has enough and he demands that security remove her from HIS stage, but when they refuse to go near her, he decides that he'll remove her himself. As he slowly starts in her direction, the fans begin to cheer wildly. For directly behind Billy Sadistic has appeared the Elven Warrior himself. The fans are whipped into a frenzy. Sensing that something is amiss, Sadistic slowly turns and nearly falls on his ass when he looks up into Lantlas' eyes. Scrambling to gather his World Title and Icey Award, Sadistic and The Black Hand retreat into the audience as father and daughter own the stage. The fans are loving every minute of it as the show comes to a close.


Overview

Psychedelica d. The Sea Men and Judge & Jury
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