Post by Dollface on Aug 7, 2015 21:27:21 GMT -5
♫♫ Sugar, ah, honey, honey
You are my Candy Girl
And you got me wanting you
Honey, ah, sugar, sugar
You are my Candy Girl
And you got me wanting you ♫♫
Did you ever wonder what it would be like to hear everything you wanted to hear from someone... only it's the wrong person? To be told you were needed, wanted? Valued? But it's coming out of the mouth of the very last person on the planet you'd ever expect? Yeah. Yeah I'm livin' the dream right now. Everything I need to hear from the one just came from the wrong guy. I mean holy shit, Universe, it's just two guys and you can't keep them from getting more mixed up than the inside of my own head?
Kelli restarts the background music and flashes a winning smile into the camera, the thoughts still churning behind her eyes. With a cheery wave, she greets the PCWVerse in full Dollface regalia. Not that she routinely dresses any other way, but for the sake of argument we're going to make it seem like a thing, okay? Okay. Where were we... internal monologue, waving - ah, here we are, she's just about to start!
"Hey PCW! Yeah, it's me! You know... okay, stop making that face, seriously it's gross and you'll give yourself wrinkles. I get it, EVERYONE'S mad at me because I'm working with the Black Hand, right? But you all SAW what was going on, didn't you? The thing where I thought they had Q but they really didn't? Because that was totally a thing. Nathan... he helped me get things straight. He let me see where the lines really were, what was real and what wasn't - and for me that's kind of a big deal."
Dollface adjusts her coiffure with one delicate hand, combing a few errant, candyfloss curls away from her face with her glitter French tip manicure. Keeping the smile firmly in place, she carries on recording her promo in the hopes that someone will watch it without throwing popcorn at the screen. Waste of perfectly good popcorn, that.
"So I guess now everyone's wondering what I'm going to do now. Hell, I bet everyone's been wondering what the hell I've BEEN doing, what with working with the Black Hand and all. See, I know everyone probably hopes that I go back to Nathan, right? Run fleeing into his arms, skirts all aflutter like a little girl running through a field in a Lifetime Original Made for TV Movie."
Kelli stares straight into the camera, jade green eyes peering into the candy jars of households all over the world with her broadcast.
"It's not gonna happen." She smiles, hands up as if to forestall the shouts of denial surely heard from every viewer. "It's not that I'm an enemy of his, just... I refuse to join the (un)Stable."
♫♫ I just can't believe the loveliness of loving you
(I just can't believe it's true)
I just can't believe the wonder of this feeling to
(I just can't believe it's true) ♫♫
(I just can't believe it's true)
I just can't believe the wonder of this feeling to
(I just can't believe it's true) ♫♫
Man, I bet they're all wondering just what in the actual fuck is going on, right? Why wouldn't I join the (un)Stable? I could give all kinds of reasons they'd probably argue with or take issue with, and that's all they're going to fucking hear out of me. But the real truth... is complicated. Okay so it's two reasons. For one, Nathan gave up on me. He really, point blank gave up on me. If he hadn't, why did he do that hocus pocus illusion shit and scare me like that? Pretending to be Sadistic, Jesus-Christ-tits-in-America, why would ANYONE do that EVER? Just to scare me, that had to be the only reason. He says he was trying to get information out of me, but if he had picked up on ANY of my subtle clues he would have figured it out! I know he's smart, the man speaks in quadruple meanings for fuck's sake. But he just COULDN'T figure it out...
Fidgeting a bit in her chair, she blinks away the insistent thoughts, turning the awkward fidget into a cute little wriggle dance to the music. Her seven (count 'em) necklaces bouncing across her impressive cleavage, she jingles like Mrs. Claus' second honeymoon lingerie. Go ahead, soak in that visual. I'll wait. ... Okay, that's enough psychological torture. Back to Kelli, who looks only slightly less awkward than the initial overtures of the last chick I made out with.
"So anyway, like I was saying. I'm not going to join the (un)Stable. I can't. People keep saying they can't believe I'd stay a member of the Black Hand, but here's the thing." Kelli leans close to the camera, hand around her mouth like she's whispering to a friend. "Spoiler Alert: I HAVE NEVER BEEN A MEMBER OF THE BLACK HAND."
She leans back in the chair, grinning proudly while surreptitiously adjusting her Hello Kitty print corset. "Surprised!? Yeah, I bet you are, but seriously - just ask them! Sure, I've done stuff for them, but I'm not ONE of them. Not good enough to join their exclusive club, and anyway black is SO not my color. I'm not Eira, remember?" Leaning in she winks at the camera as though sharing a secret - no one knows what that could be about, right?
Fidgeting a bit in her chair, she blinks away the insistent thoughts, turning the awkward fidget into a cute little wriggle dance to the music. Her seven (count 'em) necklaces bouncing across her impressive cleavage, she jingles like Mrs. Claus' second honeymoon lingerie. Go ahead, soak in that visual. I'll wait. ... Okay, that's enough psychological torture. Back to Kelli, who looks only slightly less awkward than the initial overtures of the last chick I made out with.
"So anyway, like I was saying. I'm not going to join the (un)Stable. I can't. People keep saying they can't believe I'd stay a member of the Black Hand, but here's the thing." Kelli leans close to the camera, hand around her mouth like she's whispering to a friend. "Spoiler Alert: I HAVE NEVER BEEN A MEMBER OF THE BLACK HAND."
She leans back in the chair, grinning proudly while surreptitiously adjusting her Hello Kitty print corset. "Surprised!? Yeah, I bet you are, but seriously - just ask them! Sure, I've done stuff for them, but I'm not ONE of them. Not good enough to join their exclusive club, and anyway black is SO not my color. I'm not Eira, remember?" Leaning in she winks at the camera as though sharing a secret - no one knows what that could be about, right?
♫♫ Ah, sugar, ah, honey, honey
You are my Candy Girl
And you got me wanting you
Oh, honey, ah, sugar, sugar
You are my Candy Girl
And you got me wanting you ♫♫
You are my Candy Girl
And you got me wanting you
Oh, honey, ah, sugar, sugar
You are my Candy Girl
And you got me wanting you ♫♫
I've got Nathan not talking to me since the night we won our place here, tonight. The final shot round to see if we can win the Tag Team Championship. It JUST came back - but so did our opponents. Loco and The Anarchist, because god forbid someone be a badass without a name proclaiming how badass or crazy they are, right? All the wrestlerman shtick I guess, but really. You'd think they could do better somehow. I mean, I know they have real names like everyone else on the roster, I'm just sure they could have figured out something better than "Loco" and "Anarchist". I might be a little loco and I'll freely admit I love me some anarchy, but I'm ready to stomp some faces in. I just have to hope that Nathan is with me on this one, and that Sadistic doesn't have any plans to fuck things up just to get at Nathan. Then again, I also have to consider the idea that Sadistic only wants me to succeed so the Black Hand has more shiny things than the (un)Stable... but maybe that's all Nathan wants...
Shrugging her shoulders back in a transparent effort to appear relaxed, Kelli's gaze flits around the recording room before settling again on the shiny lens before her. When a girl looks like that, you half expect her to eye-fuck any reflective surface available, but there are exceptions to every rule.
"So yeah, there's the bomb. Minds equal blown, right? I never was, and likely never will be, an actual member of the Black Hand. Affiliated? Maybe. Held responsible for their shenanigans? Considering I wasn't even a nominee for Most Loved at the last Iceys, I'd say that's pretty much a given - and you guys had Stormm and NCM in there. The same NCM whose Hobo Horde caused destruction and injuries last time he was here. But that's not THIS time so that's totally okay, right? Anyway, I'm not here to talk about NCM, not right now. He's in my head enough without me focusing on him at this exact moment. No. Right now is about the Tag Team Championships."
She blows a bubble with indolent confidence, popping it with an obnoxious snap. Purple lids closing over green eyes, Kelli leans back in the chair again, an impatient sigh lifting from her.
"Overall, it doesn't matter how much Nathan wants to win them, or how much Sadistic wants me to win them. What matters is that I want them. I went on record once, saying that I wanted to hold every belt PCW offers - and that hasn't changed. I've held the Genesis, North American, and now International. That leaves World and Tag - maybe Underground if I want to beat the other "Grand Slam" achievers and hold LITERALLY ALL THE BELTS not just the ones that happen to be active when they're competing. Rub their nose in THAT and see how high they get, right?"
Shrugging her shoulders back in a transparent effort to appear relaxed, Kelli's gaze flits around the recording room before settling again on the shiny lens before her. When a girl looks like that, you half expect her to eye-fuck any reflective surface available, but there are exceptions to every rule.
"So yeah, there's the bomb. Minds equal blown, right? I never was, and likely never will be, an actual member of the Black Hand. Affiliated? Maybe. Held responsible for their shenanigans? Considering I wasn't even a nominee for Most Loved at the last Iceys, I'd say that's pretty much a given - and you guys had Stormm and NCM in there. The same NCM whose Hobo Horde caused destruction and injuries last time he was here. But that's not THIS time so that's totally okay, right? Anyway, I'm not here to talk about NCM, not right now. He's in my head enough without me focusing on him at this exact moment. No. Right now is about the Tag Team Championships."
She blows a bubble with indolent confidence, popping it with an obnoxious snap. Purple lids closing over green eyes, Kelli leans back in the chair again, an impatient sigh lifting from her.
"Overall, it doesn't matter how much Nathan wants to win them, or how much Sadistic wants me to win them. What matters is that I want them. I went on record once, saying that I wanted to hold every belt PCW offers - and that hasn't changed. I've held the Genesis, North American, and now International. That leaves World and Tag - maybe Underground if I want to beat the other "Grand Slam" achievers and hold LITERALLY ALL THE BELTS not just the ones that happen to be active when they're competing. Rub their nose in THAT and see how high they get, right?"
♫♫ When I kissed you girl I knew how sweet a kiss could be
(I know how sweet a kiss can be)
Like the summer sunshine pour you sweetness over me
(Pour your sweetness over me) ♫♫
(I know how sweet a kiss can be)
Like the summer sunshine pour you sweetness over me
(Pour your sweetness over me) ♫♫
Girl power and shit, right? Do what the boys haven't done. If they haven't done it - to be honest I didn't bother to look. It's stupid that I have to compete twice in the same night and you can BET I'm going to bitch about that later but I really should have thought about that before I decided to go for the Tag Championship while already holding the International. I mean yeah, it's a fun bit of chaos, but damn I really should have thought that through a bit better. MISTAKES WERE MADE. THINGS HAPPENED. Ugh. I reeeeally just want to be playing video games and not worrying about this shit, seriously. When did it become an actual "thing" that I have to adult? I don't WANT to adult. Unless it's adult like the sleazy XXX 24/7 All Live adult. That's fun. Speaking of adult action, there was the thing ... a thing happened. With Sadistic. Okay not THAT kind of thing like not nearly that far but he touched me. Not "show me on the dolly" touched me, but actually put his hand on me and not to hurt me. I think - I think he may have even tried to kiss me? But I really don't know. I don't even know if it was real.
Without preamble (let alone a fully fledged amble or well seasoned post-amble) Kelli launches into the next section of her recorded promo.
"So here's the thing. I've already said I want the titles because -I- want them, now let's take a look at what we're working with. I've got Nathan on my side, and we make a pretty badass team. Even as dysFUNctional as we are these days, we still rocked face at our last event so it stands to reason we'll pull it off this time too, right? My personal issues with Nathan are just that - personal - and shouldn't cause an issue with this match. I mean, it's not like we're up against Sadistic forcing me to draw a line in the sand or some shit, yeah? It should be fine. Just fine."
Hands above her head she arches her back in a stretch, the recording audio picking up the faintest of moans.
"Our opponents - well, I'm worried. I'm actually pretty damn worried. Yeah I made fun of their names but those are just names. I could call Grimm the Prettiest Lumbersexual at the Ball and he'd still be scary. He'd also probably still knock my head clean off with that Hangtown Hardware Grimm Signature Edition Shovel of his. So Grimm bee-tee-dubs I totally didn't really mean it unless you want to be the prettiest in which case you are and you know I'm really just gonna stop talking about that."
Clapping her mouth shut, she stares wide-eyed at the camera a few seconds, attempting to collect herself.
♫♫ (Oh, sugar)
Pour a little sugar on it , honey
Pour a little sugar on it , baby
I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah,yeah,yeah ♫♫
Pour a little sugar on it , honey
Pour a little sugar on it , baby
I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah,yeah,yeah ♫♫
I act like I'm scared of Grimm, but no more than I'm scared of anyone else I guess. With a few exceptions. I'm scared of Nathan - he's broken my heart, he's lied to me, manipulated me, and used his magic fuckery to completely bend my reality. Which is already pretty wild as it is. I'm scared of Sadistic - I think he wants to eat me, and I mean in the "with fava beans and a nice chianti" way, not in the - okay, you get it, right? Yeah. Haven't gotten any of that action from ANYONE for... way too long. That thing with Sadistic, in the car? That was as close as I've gotten in months. MONTHS. It was so weird though, hard for me to believe he was really feeling anything. Reminded me of that time I got a friend a Sunday off from work so we could go to the lake. We both stripped down topless in the kitchen of the pizza shop and made out in front of her male coworkers. She - well, she did what she needed to do, but we BOTH discovered she was straight that way. She just wasn't into it, you know? The thing with Sadistic felt like that. Something was missing. Probably his soul.
Toying with her curls, she gives the camera a coy little smile.
"I'm almost out of time here folks, but I do want to touch on a few points before I go. First things first - I'm GOING to compete for those belts, and I REALLY want to win. Not for Nathan, not for the (un)Stable, not for Sadistic, and not for the Black Hand - for ME. I want them. I came to PCW a long time after Tha Unholy Alliance left (again with that stupid "Tha" bullshit - you two aren't hood, or hardasses, get the fuck over yourselves) or at least it seems like it since they faded into obscurity pretty fast. Sure, you could see Loco waving his "I was here first" epeen all over the forums every now and then, but no one seemed to take it seriously. People wondered about ring rust when I was gone for a few months, but they're giving these two washed up has beens the nod to win when they've been gone HOW long now? Yeah. Yeah that's what I thought. Fuck you guys, seriously."
She pauses, a brief expression of guilt crossing her face as she bites her lip with perfectly white teeth.
"Okay, that was kind of mean. Unfuck you guys. Or whatever."
♫♫ Pour a little sugar on it, oh, yeah
Pour a little sugar on it , honey
Pour a little sugar on it, baby
I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫♫
Pour a little sugar on it , honey
Pour a little sugar on it, baby
I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫♫
So Sadistic tried to kiss me maybe I think but I'm not sure, and Nathan hasn't even sent so much as a telegram to say "so hey I don't want you to go fuck yourself" or anything. I might not be a member of the Black Hand, but I'll be damned if I join the (un)Stable. I mean literally, I'll probably be damned. You see, if I join the (un)Stable, I'm going to fucking die. It'll be a death wish, an assisted suicide pact with one Alexa Black. Ermagerd ur skeered - fuck yes I'm scared of that psychotic bitch! Yeah, it's her calling card, be crazy and violent. Pro Tip: SHE IS. She IS crazy, she IS violent, and she HAS expressed the desire to paint the arena with my viscera. I don't want a part of that and... I don't... I don't know if I can trust Nathan to keep me safe. I don't know if he wants me, or numbers against the Black Hand. At least the Black Hand has been mostly honest with me - they never did tell me they wanted me, or needed me - not ME. Just what I brought to the table. My skill set and the belts I could win. That's it. Nathan though... maybe he chose her over me. I don't know anymore. I can't know til I talk to him, and there's no time for that now. No time. Out of time.
A lollipop in hand, Kelli slips it into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the swollen purple bulb of candy before pulling it out with a wet little pop. Totally not deliberately phallic or anything, especially not for a primarily hetero male audience demographic.
"So I'm actually out of time now, and any minute that adorable tech chick is gonna come tell me my time is up. I'm gonna beat her to it and get out of here though. Always keep them wanting more, that's the trick to it, folks. Loco? Anarchist? I'll see you guys at Return to Glory VI - I hope you like Dub Steps, coz I'm gonna be Dropping the Bass."
She hops out of the chair and goes in for a closeup, blowing a kiss to the camera before bouncing out of the frame, the last verse of the song playing out before the recording goes dark.
♫♫ Ah sugar, ah, honey, honey
You are my Candy Girl
And you got me wanting you
Oh, honey, honey, sugar,sugar
Honey, honey, sugar, sugar
You are my Candy Girl ♫♫
You are my Candy Girl
And you got me wanting you
Oh, honey, honey, sugar,sugar
Honey, honey, sugar, sugar
You are my Candy Girl ♫♫