Trauma 181 RP Feedback
Oct 28, 2015 11:43:05 GMT -5
via mobile
A Ghost in the Wind, Sadistic, and 1 more like this
Post by Grimm on Oct 28, 2015 11:43:05 GMT -5
Katai Ketsui: You’ve done a good job in this one scattering details throughout the piece without overloading it. And you’ve been very consistent with the honorable-sumo-characterization of the character since day one, even after some disappointments. I personally think seeing him snap at some point would be an interesting way to change things up, but for now I like how you’re writing him.
One for All!!! I don’t think you’ve always done this, but in recent memory all your RPs have included bits and pieces of Hangtown history/folklore, inside jokes, character background or development, some storyline talk along with match relevance, and you stir it all up in a big black pot of a post, and I dig it. I don’t think the transitions are jarring, even when you go back and forth in the same RP. In this one in particular, I was impressed that you went WAY BACK to SWF days and worked in the possibility of you-know-who being involved in things because of you-know-what back then.
And the Halloween costume bits were silly.
St. Jury: Hallowed Ground PT. I There are some people in this federation that you can tell are just flat-out good storytellers, and you’re one of them. In a similar manner to my comments on the other two RPs so far, you include a lot of different bits and just enough details in your pieces without them coming across as cumbersome or forced. I’m looking forward to seeing how this sibling relationship holds up, falls apart, or whatever else it is you have in store for us.
One for All!!! I don’t think you’ve always done this, but in recent memory all your RPs have included bits and pieces of Hangtown history/folklore, inside jokes, character background or development, some storyline talk along with match relevance, and you stir it all up in a big black pot of a post, and I dig it. I don’t think the transitions are jarring, even when you go back and forth in the same RP. In this one in particular, I was impressed that you went WAY BACK to SWF days and worked in the possibility of you-know-who being involved in things because of you-know-what back then.
And the Halloween costume bits were silly.
St. Jury: Hallowed Ground PT. I There are some people in this federation that you can tell are just flat-out good storytellers, and you’re one of them. In a similar manner to my comments on the other two RPs so far, you include a lot of different bits and just enough details in your pieces without them coming across as cumbersome or forced. I’m looking forward to seeing how this sibling relationship holds up, falls apart, or whatever else it is you have in store for us.
