Post by weareanarchy on Dec 11, 2016 21:40:50 GMT -5
The End of the Year Awards
For
The Forces of Evil
Held, as always, in the Grand Ballroom of the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado, it was a veritable who’s who of Evil in America. Death was on hand, her skin pale, a teardrop done in make up under her left eye and she wore her favorite hat; the black top hat with the light purple band and the daisy that wobbled to and fro. Of course, Trump was on hand. He had been delivered along with his wife and some staff members in an incognito black limousine. He waved at a few people nonchalantly but for the most part stayed on his cell phone. Sarah Palin was there, as she was every year, even though no one really wanted her there. There were the usual smatterings of terrorists and businessmen all avoiding one another and talking in groups. Rumor had it that the CEO of Energy Transfer Partners was on the hook for a major award this year for stealing headlines with their North Dakota Oil Pipeline showdown. As always there were quite a few members of the clergy, fewer Catholics than one might expect, but as always the Phelps from the Westboro Baptist Church had a large contingent in attendance. Plus there was a large selection of Neo-Nazi’s, escaped Nazi War Criminals and Aryan Nation supporters. They came quietly, without fanfare, all of them dressed in their very best because this was an awards banquet and everyone wanted to enjoy the meal and the show.
Distinguished from the main group were three men. Two wore masks. The one in the brown fedora with the dirty brown trench coat wore a mask that resembled a moving Rorschach pattern. Beside him was a man in latex, a red mask similar to a skull on his head. Between and slightly behind them was a giant of a white haired man with a scarred face wearing a tuxedo who’s purpose seemed to be to show just how hard it is to get a muscled giant into a tailored tux. He also wore a leather trench coat.
The three men moved among the throng, seemingly almost unnoticed by most. They sat at a table in the back during the dinner and ate as quietly as the rest of the attendees. When they were fed Vernal Pool Fairy Shrimp Bisque and a small citrus salad, the three ate quality, except for the giant who slurped his soup. While many turned to look at him while doing this, no one seemed to think it was a good idea to discuss his table manners with him. When they were served filet of Mastodon as their main course with pommes frites and ratatouille, the three men sat and ate their meal only talking quietly among themselves. (Well, not the one in the latex outfit, he never spoke, not once. ) Finally, their dessert , a baked Alaska that the three men shared and again, they never got out of line.
During the awards part of the evening the three men sat quietly as the Forces of Evil announced their top awards for the year. Trump won the Evilest Being of the Year Award for running a political campaign that focused on racism, homophobia and capitalized on the divide between the rich and the poor as well as the educated and the ignorant. People applauded wildly and many said it marked a return to decadence and evil in political life in general. He narrowly beat out Death herself what with the long list of well-loved celebrities she had taken this year, pretty much to prove that she could still be a bitch when the occasion called for it. Many said it was the closest race for that particular award ever. A few more awards went out, all of which ignored the three men in the back of the room.
Finally, the banquet turned as it always did to plans and things folks had accomplished throughout the year.
Trump interrupted a phone call he was on to address the room, ‘I became president…’
‘WE KNOW,’ much of the crowd yelled back in annoyance.
‘…and taught my hair to eat people,’ he finished, seemingly not noticing the annoyance of the assembled crowd. He returned to his phone conversation just as his hair sprang up in a big sort of blonde snarl and destroyed and devoured a passing waitress. Donald didn’t seem to notice as he continued his phone conversation. A loud belch emanated from somewhere near his head.
Death discussed the ethics of taking Prince, David Bowie and Gene Wilder all in the same year and not even being ashamed about of it. Frankly most people would not remember a word she said because as an abstract construct, humans had a hard time holding any idea of her within their heads.
The conversation went around the room finally landing with the three gentlemen in the rear of the room. The one in the fedora stood up.
‘We have effectively taken over a small wrestling company and are using it as an outlet to spread anarchy and dissatisfaction,’ he said proudly. There was a brief silence by those in attendance and then the room was filled with laughter. For long minutes, mirth echoed throughout the chamber.
‘That’s it?’ someone asked.
‘How did you get invited,’ someone else asked.
The laughter continued for quite a while as the three men stood in the back of the room looking disheveled and dejected. Finally they quietly collected their things and left the banquet room.
‘Well,’ Lunacy said addressing his two companions, ‘that didn’t go as planned.’
‘I just sort of wonder how you expected that to go, Lunacy,’ Maylock replied.
The Jackdaw looked between the two men and shrugged his shoulders.
Suddenly they passed a shadowed corner of the lobby. In the darkness, it seemed something coiled or perhaps pulsed within the darkness. A voice whispered from the dark…or perhaps the wind blew through a crack in the window and merely sounded like words.
‘Perhaps now,’ the chuckling darkness sighed, ‘you are finally ready to listen.’
The three men merely stared into the dark as something darker and more evil than anything they had known peered into the universe for the first time in a long time.
TO BE CONTINUED…