Post by Kyle Shane on Mar 19, 2017 14:25:01 GMT -5
As is growing increasingly obvious in this world of ours, success ain't neccessarily about having all the skills to do a job right anymore... it's about controlling the narrative.
If you think that's a cynical way of looking at it I don't think you've looked at a single website on the internet, or read the comments on anything since November 2016. Right now it's in vogue for people that don't have the skills or intelligence to accomplish a single task to win some small measure of victory, then walk around beating their chest and shouting those delivering facts down louder than they can talk. It's fake, they say. And they're coming from a position of higher ground, so aren't they in the right?
Unfortunately having control of the narrative cross-connects in a disturbing way to another issue I'm facing in my supposed war against women here in PCW, in that I've been holding back on saying things too directly since the dodgy finish with Olivia Xavier two cards ago. But ever since day one of our first interaction, Olivia's been trying to steer the narrative into something benefitting her all the way, and I've been pushed into a corner. No matter how I talk about it, I'm going to be looked at as the bad guy.
Therefore the story that started so interesting to me, a little meet-cute with just a hint, a spark of tension that could go a hundred different ways in now being spun into the ultimate war of empowered feminism versus meninist fedora wearing misogyny. The whole defiant, middle finger to the face "My eyes are up here asshole! Burn~!" bullshit which hasn't done me many favors. Because if and when I speak out against that, I'm mansplaining. I'm talking down to Olivia and not treating her as an equal, I only ever saw her as a sexual object or a conquest.
Which is hard to defend against 'cause yeah, I did try asking her out only to get shot down and yeah I did try sending her a gift. I did steal a credit card and buy her a gift basket in a sort of silly, vintage Kyle Shane backstage antic that once marked the type of shit I liked doing. Light hearted stuff to break the tension. It's something I did before and most people, they just chuckled and rolled with it, seeing it as a joke. But to Olivia it was the rallying point for a war between genders, How DARE I steal a credit card and try to BUY her affections; I OBJECTIFIED her and made her look so bad, she was outraged, grrrr, time to fight.
This is where the story started going off it's rails because I had none of that in mind when I approached her with this from the start. Yes, I have a past, I used to hit on girls in creepy ways as a coping mechanism. But I've realized now that explaining my intentions to someone who decided off jump street they were going to fight me any way possible isn't just counter productive, it's meaningless. Olivia's always going to get to this point with someone, my supposed advances just made a convenient excuse.
Why? Well I have a few pet theories, first of which is, maybe I take her at her word for what I see, and maybe what I did was a microaggression, in which case, it's worse for her. See, kids that come from trauma can smell trauma on another human being. Can sense it like blood in the water from miles away. And I don't even need a degree or completed 1 credit course in entry psychology to see trauma coming from her, to know she's been hurt by a man before. And that's she's projecting that hurt from what they did onto me. Which is the much, much worse news for her, than if she was just being fake and wanting to use me as a stepping stone to get into title contention. Because I'm not a stand in for anybody, not someone she can project a face onto and use for a punching bag. Because, and this is the lede here, if you push me, I will provide some very real and very fresh hurt. That's the real news.
Or, and this is more likely to me, that she's fucking fake as press on nails, and all of this He-man Kyle haters club outrage is a smoke show to cover up the fact that she's attacking me trying to make a name off beating me. Which she, seemingly, did. I won't lie, I tapped out in the ring when she had me in a submission. There is her bone. But she's continued this crusade to rip to shreds the man who dared lay a hand on her, who dared look at her sideways, and now she's going further into it because she wants my title. And there, ultimately, is what makes her protests about how this was always an issue about my misogyny complete and utter bullshit.
And the pushback against the fake news continues here, because this is the absolute, unvarnished truth: I'm actually disappointed in Olivia Xavier. Really, I expected better, but she thinks' she's gotten just far enough into my head that there's no way I can get her out. As if I haven't ever lost a match via bullshit before. But the simple fact is, that the results of our last match hold no trepidation or fear of the future for me because I don't see it as the wound to my ego she wishes I did.
If Olivia tries to take our last Underground Championship match as anything except a failure, she's sadly mistaken. What's worse, me tapping out, or me turning her strongest submission around and pinning her shoulders to the mat? I tapped out while my arm was being broke after she scouted one move, but in the process of tapping out, I also figured out a way out of the strongest move in her arsenal, her vaunted Fall from Grace. I hope you all would notice, but after I exposed it and figured out a way out of it, she didn't use it again in her match against Kelli Starr, 'cause it's like a magician once you point out you can see the fucking scarves peeking out of their sleeve.
Nobody cares how you perform a trick once you can see how it works.
And ultimately, what Olivia did once was a learning experience for me. My history speaks for itself. Nobody ever gets me twice in a row, because I learn from mistakes, I level up my defense after every boss battle. Olivia hasn't learned anything. She's swaggering around backstage, coming up to me with her teeny tiny little cheeks puffed up in pride because she made me tap out and completely and utterly missing the fucking point.
And worse than the arrogance, the gall it takes to treat a draw as a definitive win, is the chutzpah it takes to walk around, pushing those old, worn out trombones about nerds that EVERYBODY uses. She comes up to me, grinning in my face, and starts saying weak jokes about me having an undersized penis that just about every nerd that's gotten shot down by the catty popular cheerleader in high school has heard. Same old shit.
As if every single person on every roster I've ever wrestled in hasn't sat up at 3 AM rubbing a pencil against their chin as they lean over a mountain of discarded scraps of paper, until Eureka! an epiphany strikes and they say "You know what, Kyle Shane is nerdy! Nerdy kids like video games and comic books and don't ever go outside!" so they come out with antique putdowns that were passe by 1995 about being afraid of girls and having never held a real life titty in their hand.
What's next?
What's Liv's big "Sweep The Leg, Johnny"; is she going to spout some shit about me wearing a pocket protector?
Xavier ran the gamut from outraged little warrior princess to Regina fucking George really quick, and that turned what could have been a war for the Underground title, a heated battle that could have eclipsed a crappy main event as the real show stealer on the Mass Destruction card, into... this. A cheap and easy title defense against a weak little girl.
And make no mistake and don't let the narrative twist things into some sexist overtone, some grand story about a girl being held down fighting the man. Olivia is fucking weak. I want you all to look to that match against Olivia between us. Underground rules, no disqualifications. Once again owing to the fact that, oh, I don't know, I didn't want to fucking fight her because I didn't think we were doing that sort of thing, I went into that match not hitting the same way she did.
Olivia went in right off the bat swinging for everything she had. Olivia did use weapons, she used everything in the book to batter me. She slapped me with chairs, kendo sticks, popcorn buckets, cookie sheets, and beat my ass all around that ring while I was basically starting off saying "Hey, maybe what I did made you uncomfortable and if that wasn't cool I'm sorry".
Not once in there did I swing a chair. And I'm not saying that because I was weak. I'm saying... I took ALL of that and still kept kicking out. More than that, Olivia had to USE all of that, and she still barely kept me down. Without her little one and done trick she won't be getting me in again, there was nothing she had in her arsenal that even put me down for the count. But I came closer than she wants to admit, while not even trying to fight.
Because I HAVEN'T been trying to fight. Not until now. Not until she roused me, pissed me off just enough that yeah, NOW I'm angry, now I'm fired up, NOW I'm snorting fury, and I'm going to give her absolutely everything I've got.
Because I've seen that when the chips are down, Olivia Xavier is a spineless, snivelling, backstabbing, opportunistic little chickenshit who's playing herself around as some kinda kickass girl superhero. When she is absolutely not. Don't let her distort reality into that when every fact flies in the face of it.
Look at last Trauma. Supposedly she has me running scared, clutching the Underground title to my chest fearfully. But you look at Trauma and not only did her music hit in the middle of the match, trying to throw me off my guard, I didn't lose focus and I still put Eira away right in the middle of the match with two Pieces of Eden. With that entry level attempt at a mindfuck. So what does that say?
It says that Olivia desperately wants people to buy she's in my head. It says that she wants people to buy into her bravado and she's got even the announcers clued in to boost her up so that I'm fighting back against a tide of propaganda, like an alternate 1984 where Big Brother was not only feminine but out of ideas. Oceania is at war with Eastasia, and Kyle Shane is afraid of strong women. Except that if I was afraid, and her cutting insights into my proclivities and character were eroding my will, then it sure didn't work in my match against Eira.
So again, she failed.
More than that, she had to try and catch me off guard because I was demonstrating to her exactly what was coming for her.
And I still question what Olivia showed that I haven't seen that got her here. It's suspicious as fuck that on her second match in this company, after one awkward interaction with me, she's contending for my championship, but she still to this day has not established herself the way I have. I came into this company on a four match winning streak by the time I was holding the Underground title up. I had to fight through not just Lunacy, but his two leg breaking goons and STILL win the match to get there. Olivia's had three matches, one draw and a title shot that she did not win. How is she here again?
And now where are we? Well, if Trauma is any indication, with her walking backstage arm in arm with Kelli Starr, we're at a point of collusion. Doesn't take a genius to see a girl gang in the forming. Which, in turn, I'm sorry, how is that not going to make Olivia Xavier look even weaker? She's going to go into this Underground title match, not even able to fight AND WIN her own battles effectively by herself, so she's gonna, what. Final Fantasy Summon Kelli down to the ring, and the two of them team up on me?
Kelli Starr, Alexa Black, Eira, or some combination thereof are going to have to come bail Olivia out when she can't finish a match on her own, when she can't break me, when she can't get the damn job done?
Because that would fit quite nicely in with how inept and quite pathetic the girl standing across from me last time turned out to be. So, yes. I am disappointed. I thought she was stronger. I thought we could have gotten more from this.
We could have been a pretty kickass little team. Or we could have gone on some awkward dates that might have provided some comedy gold and ingratiated us a little more to a PCW crowd that is still learning about us. Or, we could have met each other as respected and equal fighters, if nothing else.
That could've been us, but instead Olivia wanted to throw a hissy fit about me supposedly ogling her when there was never really an indication I did anything that creepy. In fact, my original interactions with her seemed kind of mild to me, but Olivia thinks that it's cutting and makes someone feel bad to sneer in their face and tell them they're a CREEP.
We could have had so much more. And if it was my bad intentions that led the way here, I do sincerely apologize for that.
But that, ultimately isn't what this is about, to me. Not anymore. It's gone beyond that.
This is about me, solidifying my place and reclaiming the prestige of an Underground title that's been marred by a string of serial failures and also-rans. This is about me, stepping up to the plate and putting a stamp on this division even if I have to go through a gang of riot grrls to do so, and remaining, STILL undefeated, STILL your King of the Underground.
As it comes to me versus Olivia, this is me putting all the childish toys away, all the mealy mouthed talk about each other's genital deficiencies, and the politics of the male gaze. This is me saying, as a gamer and as the champion, the narrative does not end with her making some creepy stalker that was staring at her tits pay vindictively with a bone breaking pay off. No.
The story is going to read that on March 23rd, at Mass Destruction, on the big damn stage, the God of Game stepped up to the plate and showed little miss Xavier exactly why he and he alone has continued to change the game to a level that she just cannot match. End of story. End of narrative.
Just, the Endgame.
And you can fucking print that.
If you think that's a cynical way of looking at it I don't think you've looked at a single website on the internet, or read the comments on anything since November 2016. Right now it's in vogue for people that don't have the skills or intelligence to accomplish a single task to win some small measure of victory, then walk around beating their chest and shouting those delivering facts down louder than they can talk. It's fake, they say. And they're coming from a position of higher ground, so aren't they in the right?
Unfortunately having control of the narrative cross-connects in a disturbing way to another issue I'm facing in my supposed war against women here in PCW, in that I've been holding back on saying things too directly since the dodgy finish with Olivia Xavier two cards ago. But ever since day one of our first interaction, Olivia's been trying to steer the narrative into something benefitting her all the way, and I've been pushed into a corner. No matter how I talk about it, I'm going to be looked at as the bad guy.
Therefore the story that started so interesting to me, a little meet-cute with just a hint, a spark of tension that could go a hundred different ways in now being spun into the ultimate war of empowered feminism versus meninist fedora wearing misogyny. The whole defiant, middle finger to the face "My eyes are up here asshole! Burn~!" bullshit which hasn't done me many favors. Because if and when I speak out against that, I'm mansplaining. I'm talking down to Olivia and not treating her as an equal, I only ever saw her as a sexual object or a conquest.
Which is hard to defend against 'cause yeah, I did try asking her out only to get shot down and yeah I did try sending her a gift. I did steal a credit card and buy her a gift basket in a sort of silly, vintage Kyle Shane backstage antic that once marked the type of shit I liked doing. Light hearted stuff to break the tension. It's something I did before and most people, they just chuckled and rolled with it, seeing it as a joke. But to Olivia it was the rallying point for a war between genders, How DARE I steal a credit card and try to BUY her affections; I OBJECTIFIED her and made her look so bad, she was outraged, grrrr, time to fight.
This is where the story started going off it's rails because I had none of that in mind when I approached her with this from the start. Yes, I have a past, I used to hit on girls in creepy ways as a coping mechanism. But I've realized now that explaining my intentions to someone who decided off jump street they were going to fight me any way possible isn't just counter productive, it's meaningless. Olivia's always going to get to this point with someone, my supposed advances just made a convenient excuse.
Why? Well I have a few pet theories, first of which is, maybe I take her at her word for what I see, and maybe what I did was a microaggression, in which case, it's worse for her. See, kids that come from trauma can smell trauma on another human being. Can sense it like blood in the water from miles away. And I don't even need a degree or completed 1 credit course in entry psychology to see trauma coming from her, to know she's been hurt by a man before. And that's she's projecting that hurt from what they did onto me. Which is the much, much worse news for her, than if she was just being fake and wanting to use me as a stepping stone to get into title contention. Because I'm not a stand in for anybody, not someone she can project a face onto and use for a punching bag. Because, and this is the lede here, if you push me, I will provide some very real and very fresh hurt. That's the real news.
Or, and this is more likely to me, that she's fucking fake as press on nails, and all of this He-man Kyle haters club outrage is a smoke show to cover up the fact that she's attacking me trying to make a name off beating me. Which she, seemingly, did. I won't lie, I tapped out in the ring when she had me in a submission. There is her bone. But she's continued this crusade to rip to shreds the man who dared lay a hand on her, who dared look at her sideways, and now she's going further into it because she wants my title. And there, ultimately, is what makes her protests about how this was always an issue about my misogyny complete and utter bullshit.
And the pushback against the fake news continues here, because this is the absolute, unvarnished truth: I'm actually disappointed in Olivia Xavier. Really, I expected better, but she thinks' she's gotten just far enough into my head that there's no way I can get her out. As if I haven't ever lost a match via bullshit before. But the simple fact is, that the results of our last match hold no trepidation or fear of the future for me because I don't see it as the wound to my ego she wishes I did.
If Olivia tries to take our last Underground Championship match as anything except a failure, she's sadly mistaken. What's worse, me tapping out, or me turning her strongest submission around and pinning her shoulders to the mat? I tapped out while my arm was being broke after she scouted one move, but in the process of tapping out, I also figured out a way out of the strongest move in her arsenal, her vaunted Fall from Grace. I hope you all would notice, but after I exposed it and figured out a way out of it, she didn't use it again in her match against Kelli Starr, 'cause it's like a magician once you point out you can see the fucking scarves peeking out of their sleeve.
Nobody cares how you perform a trick once you can see how it works.
And ultimately, what Olivia did once was a learning experience for me. My history speaks for itself. Nobody ever gets me twice in a row, because I learn from mistakes, I level up my defense after every boss battle. Olivia hasn't learned anything. She's swaggering around backstage, coming up to me with her teeny tiny little cheeks puffed up in pride because she made me tap out and completely and utterly missing the fucking point.
And worse than the arrogance, the gall it takes to treat a draw as a definitive win, is the chutzpah it takes to walk around, pushing those old, worn out trombones about nerds that EVERYBODY uses. She comes up to me, grinning in my face, and starts saying weak jokes about me having an undersized penis that just about every nerd that's gotten shot down by the catty popular cheerleader in high school has heard. Same old shit.
As if every single person on every roster I've ever wrestled in hasn't sat up at 3 AM rubbing a pencil against their chin as they lean over a mountain of discarded scraps of paper, until Eureka! an epiphany strikes and they say "You know what, Kyle Shane is nerdy! Nerdy kids like video games and comic books and don't ever go outside!" so they come out with antique putdowns that were passe by 1995 about being afraid of girls and having never held a real life titty in their hand.
What's next?
What's Liv's big "Sweep The Leg, Johnny"; is she going to spout some shit about me wearing a pocket protector?
Xavier ran the gamut from outraged little warrior princess to Regina fucking George really quick, and that turned what could have been a war for the Underground title, a heated battle that could have eclipsed a crappy main event as the real show stealer on the Mass Destruction card, into... this. A cheap and easy title defense against a weak little girl.
And make no mistake and don't let the narrative twist things into some sexist overtone, some grand story about a girl being held down fighting the man. Olivia is fucking weak. I want you all to look to that match against Olivia between us. Underground rules, no disqualifications. Once again owing to the fact that, oh, I don't know, I didn't want to fucking fight her because I didn't think we were doing that sort of thing, I went into that match not hitting the same way she did.
Olivia went in right off the bat swinging for everything she had. Olivia did use weapons, she used everything in the book to batter me. She slapped me with chairs, kendo sticks, popcorn buckets, cookie sheets, and beat my ass all around that ring while I was basically starting off saying "Hey, maybe what I did made you uncomfortable and if that wasn't cool I'm sorry".
Not once in there did I swing a chair. And I'm not saying that because I was weak. I'm saying... I took ALL of that and still kept kicking out. More than that, Olivia had to USE all of that, and she still barely kept me down. Without her little one and done trick she won't be getting me in again, there was nothing she had in her arsenal that even put me down for the count. But I came closer than she wants to admit, while not even trying to fight.
Because I HAVEN'T been trying to fight. Not until now. Not until she roused me, pissed me off just enough that yeah, NOW I'm angry, now I'm fired up, NOW I'm snorting fury, and I'm going to give her absolutely everything I've got.
Because I've seen that when the chips are down, Olivia Xavier is a spineless, snivelling, backstabbing, opportunistic little chickenshit who's playing herself around as some kinda kickass girl superhero. When she is absolutely not. Don't let her distort reality into that when every fact flies in the face of it.
Look at last Trauma. Supposedly she has me running scared, clutching the Underground title to my chest fearfully. But you look at Trauma and not only did her music hit in the middle of the match, trying to throw me off my guard, I didn't lose focus and I still put Eira away right in the middle of the match with two Pieces of Eden. With that entry level attempt at a mindfuck. So what does that say?
It says that Olivia desperately wants people to buy she's in my head. It says that she wants people to buy into her bravado and she's got even the announcers clued in to boost her up so that I'm fighting back against a tide of propaganda, like an alternate 1984 where Big Brother was not only feminine but out of ideas. Oceania is at war with Eastasia, and Kyle Shane is afraid of strong women. Except that if I was afraid, and her cutting insights into my proclivities and character were eroding my will, then it sure didn't work in my match against Eira.
So again, she failed.
More than that, she had to try and catch me off guard because I was demonstrating to her exactly what was coming for her.
And I still question what Olivia showed that I haven't seen that got her here. It's suspicious as fuck that on her second match in this company, after one awkward interaction with me, she's contending for my championship, but she still to this day has not established herself the way I have. I came into this company on a four match winning streak by the time I was holding the Underground title up. I had to fight through not just Lunacy, but his two leg breaking goons and STILL win the match to get there. Olivia's had three matches, one draw and a title shot that she did not win. How is she here again?
And now where are we? Well, if Trauma is any indication, with her walking backstage arm in arm with Kelli Starr, we're at a point of collusion. Doesn't take a genius to see a girl gang in the forming. Which, in turn, I'm sorry, how is that not going to make Olivia Xavier look even weaker? She's going to go into this Underground title match, not even able to fight AND WIN her own battles effectively by herself, so she's gonna, what. Final Fantasy Summon Kelli down to the ring, and the two of them team up on me?
Kelli Starr, Alexa Black, Eira, or some combination thereof are going to have to come bail Olivia out when she can't finish a match on her own, when she can't break me, when she can't get the damn job done?
Because that would fit quite nicely in with how inept and quite pathetic the girl standing across from me last time turned out to be. So, yes. I am disappointed. I thought she was stronger. I thought we could have gotten more from this.
We could have been a pretty kickass little team. Or we could have gone on some awkward dates that might have provided some comedy gold and ingratiated us a little more to a PCW crowd that is still learning about us. Or, we could have met each other as respected and equal fighters, if nothing else.
That could've been us, but instead Olivia wanted to throw a hissy fit about me supposedly ogling her when there was never really an indication I did anything that creepy. In fact, my original interactions with her seemed kind of mild to me, but Olivia thinks that it's cutting and makes someone feel bad to sneer in their face and tell them they're a CREEP.
We could have had so much more. And if it was my bad intentions that led the way here, I do sincerely apologize for that.
But that, ultimately isn't what this is about, to me. Not anymore. It's gone beyond that.
This is about me, solidifying my place and reclaiming the prestige of an Underground title that's been marred by a string of serial failures and also-rans. This is about me, stepping up to the plate and putting a stamp on this division even if I have to go through a gang of riot grrls to do so, and remaining, STILL undefeated, STILL your King of the Underground.
As it comes to me versus Olivia, this is me putting all the childish toys away, all the mealy mouthed talk about each other's genital deficiencies, and the politics of the male gaze. This is me saying, as a gamer and as the champion, the narrative does not end with her making some creepy stalker that was staring at her tits pay vindictively with a bone breaking pay off. No.
The story is going to read that on March 23rd, at Mass Destruction, on the big damn stage, the God of Game stepped up to the plate and showed little miss Xavier exactly why he and he alone has continued to change the game to a level that she just cannot match. End of story. End of narrative.
Just, the Endgame.
And you can fucking print that.
