Post by ￦AR￦¥K on Apr 10, 2017 20:56:38 GMT -5
*buzz*buzz*buzz*
A hand comes out from under a heavily stained zebra patterned comforter, smashing against the taller night stand. The tattooed hand dances around the vibrating flip phone knocking empty bottles of beer over spilling backwash and foam into a pile of cigarettes.
"Fook dammit," the Irish man grunted as he finally pushed up off the bed to spot the cell, "Wha' cheeky koont is callin' so damn early!"
Warwyk grabbed the phone and flipped it open sinking his face into his pillow leaving enough space to talk, "Aye who's callin'?"
The voice on the other and is clearly angry and from Warwyk's reaction the caller was important. Pinning the phone against his shoulder Warwyk searched for pants amongst a room of trash, "Ma I apologize hones' tah God I didn' see tha' caller ID," he jerks the pants up with a single pull, "Ill be there in an' hour Ma! Jus' stay calm!"
Warwyk snaps the phone shut, "Fook! Fook! Fook!"
While Warwyk scrambles to fill up his gym bag the bedroom door opens and a short red haired fat man pops his head in, "Everyfing alrigh' War? I hea'rd yer shoutin' froom tha' garage."
"Ma's in town," Warwyk barked as he shot past the fat man, "an' she be wantin' tah speak tah bof'o'us."
The once relaxed mellow fat man begins to aggressively pull at the bottom of his shirt while chewing on a nail, "Yer fookin' Ma, Missus Leonard? Oh shite!"
Warwyk turns sharply on his heels pointing at the obviously scared fat man tapping his finger aginst his nose, "Shite is righ' Otto! An' she's rightly pissed yeh haven't been keepin me in line."
"Fook you mate! I'm nah' yer Dah! Christ," he paused to give a blessing for taking the Lord's name in vain, "Sorry Lord, buh yer a pain in me arse to try'en manage!"
Warwyk opens the front door waving a hand to dismiss Ottos rant, "Jus' shut yer trap koont and les'jus' go!"
ONE HOUR LATER...
A very crappy and ran down car pulls up to the pick up zone in front of the airport. Otto jumps out when he sees Ma standing with her one bag tucked under one arm. She was a hard woman to read but Otto and Warwyk both knew that if Momma was in town it wasn't good news! He takes her bag while he opens the back passenger door giving a big goofy grin, "Ma tis good tah see you!"
She does not speak but instead gives him a firm stage before slamming the door herself shut. Otto scurried quickly back to the driver seat nervously staring at the cars in front of him and the rear view mirror at Ma who sat with hands crossed and lips purses together.
Warwyk licks his lips before turning in his seat to look at his mother, "Ma Jaysus yeh look good!"
"Tobias Liam Leonard," Ma said sharply and Warwyk froze (you never wanted your mother to say your WHOLE name (no matter what nationality!)), "Tha' family has poured o'lot'o'mooney into yer so far disastrous wrestlin' career. Ozymindias Ander Greenly, wha' did I send yeh over 'ere for?"
Otto stumbles to give an answer, "Um....uh....yer....oh eh...yeh know I don' recall! Tis koont is ah prick Ma I swear!"
"So much talent wasted," she carried on cutting Otto off, "Both of yuns! Lord me pop pop roll in his grave tah see the shamblin' name of the Leonard's. Did yeh expect yer dear'o Ma to nah watch?"
Warwyk just kept facing forward chewing frantically on the inside of his mouth, it was best to keep quiet in these situations.
"Thangs be changin' boyo," she pulled out from her front dress pocket a tobacco pipe, "I know yer in the first round of tha' Icemann Invitational?"
"Aye Ma, I signed up me self but they got meh facin' some unknown dry shite," Warwyk replied with hopes that his eagerness would show her be was taking this serious.
"So yeh do have a chance tah grab this TIIT?" Ma asked and re serious manner from both Otto and Warwyk erupt into a fit of immature laughter.
"She's said grab ah tit!" Otto laughed but a hard pop to the back of both their heads made them shut up quickly. Ma however was in the middle of the back seat both arms around each of their necks pulling their heads right close to her mouth. Her breath smelled strongly of liquor but her grip was firm even for Warwyk, "Cut tha' shite boys! I refuse fer you both to be fookin failures carryin' tha' family names! I refuse tah pay fer yer excessive partyin! Tis time to buckle down and take this shite serious! Time tah stick it up these American arseholes stanky cocky arses! Are we clear?"
Both men shook their heads and Ma let go. She sat back lighting up her pipe smiling diligently, "Good. Good. Now Otto out this into yer gps, tis time to meet yer American cousins."
A hand comes out from under a heavily stained zebra patterned comforter, smashing against the taller night stand. The tattooed hand dances around the vibrating flip phone knocking empty bottles of beer over spilling backwash and foam into a pile of cigarettes.
"Fook dammit," the Irish man grunted as he finally pushed up off the bed to spot the cell, "Wha' cheeky koont is callin' so damn early!"
Warwyk grabbed the phone and flipped it open sinking his face into his pillow leaving enough space to talk, "Aye who's callin'?"
The voice on the other and is clearly angry and from Warwyk's reaction the caller was important. Pinning the phone against his shoulder Warwyk searched for pants amongst a room of trash, "Ma I apologize hones' tah God I didn' see tha' caller ID," he jerks the pants up with a single pull, "Ill be there in an' hour Ma! Jus' stay calm!"
Warwyk snaps the phone shut, "Fook! Fook! Fook!"
While Warwyk scrambles to fill up his gym bag the bedroom door opens and a short red haired fat man pops his head in, "Everyfing alrigh' War? I hea'rd yer shoutin' froom tha' garage."
"Ma's in town," Warwyk barked as he shot past the fat man, "an' she be wantin' tah speak tah bof'o'us."
The once relaxed mellow fat man begins to aggressively pull at the bottom of his shirt while chewing on a nail, "Yer fookin' Ma, Missus Leonard? Oh shite!"
Warwyk turns sharply on his heels pointing at the obviously scared fat man tapping his finger aginst his nose, "Shite is righ' Otto! An' she's rightly pissed yeh haven't been keepin me in line."
"Fook you mate! I'm nah' yer Dah! Christ," he paused to give a blessing for taking the Lord's name in vain, "Sorry Lord, buh yer a pain in me arse to try'en manage!"
Warwyk opens the front door waving a hand to dismiss Ottos rant, "Jus' shut yer trap koont and les'jus' go!"
ONE HOUR LATER...
A very crappy and ran down car pulls up to the pick up zone in front of the airport. Otto jumps out when he sees Ma standing with her one bag tucked under one arm. She was a hard woman to read but Otto and Warwyk both knew that if Momma was in town it wasn't good news! He takes her bag while he opens the back passenger door giving a big goofy grin, "Ma tis good tah see you!"
She does not speak but instead gives him a firm stage before slamming the door herself shut. Otto scurried quickly back to the driver seat nervously staring at the cars in front of him and the rear view mirror at Ma who sat with hands crossed and lips purses together.
Warwyk licks his lips before turning in his seat to look at his mother, "Ma Jaysus yeh look good!"
"Tobias Liam Leonard," Ma said sharply and Warwyk froze (you never wanted your mother to say your WHOLE name (no matter what nationality!)), "Tha' family has poured o'lot'o'mooney into yer so far disastrous wrestlin' career. Ozymindias Ander Greenly, wha' did I send yeh over 'ere for?"
Otto stumbles to give an answer, "Um....uh....yer....oh eh...yeh know I don' recall! Tis koont is ah prick Ma I swear!"
"So much talent wasted," she carried on cutting Otto off, "Both of yuns! Lord me pop pop roll in his grave tah see the shamblin' name of the Leonard's. Did yeh expect yer dear'o Ma to nah watch?"
Warwyk just kept facing forward chewing frantically on the inside of his mouth, it was best to keep quiet in these situations.
"Thangs be changin' boyo," she pulled out from her front dress pocket a tobacco pipe, "I know yer in the first round of tha' Icemann Invitational?"
"Aye Ma, I signed up me self but they got meh facin' some unknown dry shite," Warwyk replied with hopes that his eagerness would show her be was taking this serious.
"So yeh do have a chance tah grab this TIIT?" Ma asked and re serious manner from both Otto and Warwyk erupt into a fit of immature laughter.
"She's said grab ah tit!" Otto laughed but a hard pop to the back of both their heads made them shut up quickly. Ma however was in the middle of the back seat both arms around each of their necks pulling their heads right close to her mouth. Her breath smelled strongly of liquor but her grip was firm even for Warwyk, "Cut tha' shite boys! I refuse fer you both to be fookin failures carryin' tha' family names! I refuse tah pay fer yer excessive partyin! Tis time to buckle down and take this shite serious! Time tah stick it up these American arseholes stanky cocky arses! Are we clear?"
Both men shook their heads and Ma let go. She sat back lighting up her pipe smiling diligently, "Good. Good. Now Otto out this into yer gps, tis time to meet yer American cousins."
