The Plot Devices of Angry Dwarves (v. Lunatic/Alexa Black)
Jun 26, 2017 13:57:14 GMT -5
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Post by alycestarchylde on Jun 26, 2017 13:57:14 GMT -5
Alyce laid down in the doctor’s office, getting checked out. The doctor natted on about this or that as he went over her injuries from Battlebowl. She wished Thena were here. She missed Thena, and Thena made bearing shit like this so much easier. As she thought of her best friend, her mind drifted back on the clouds of memory.
Two years later, the girls made some news in the small, back woods California 'town' they lived in for going missing for three days. It happened in this way.
Alyce had been on one of her rabbit hunts, aided by Thena (who was amazingly inventive and resourceful and managed to construct the most ingenious traps out of rocks, sticks, boxes, bits of twine and other such detritus) and they had wandered quite some way from the Carrera farm. Both knew their way home so were not at all concerned. They were close to catching a white rabbit, one that Alyce claimed to be 'close to perfect'. They were chasing the creature which disappeared around a corner. They rounded the corner and proceeded to run almost headlong into what appeared to be a grumpy Santa. He was short man, no more than four and a half feet tall. He wore bright red jeans and a red and black checkered flannel shirt. Over his left shoulder, he carried a stick and tied to one end of it; just like a tramp from years gone by, was a sheet wrapped bundle. He smoked a stinking cigar that the girls could not believe they didn't smell first and had a bushy white mane of hair on his head and a long white beard. The 10 year-olds somehow managed to keep from screaming when they almost literally ran into him.
"Which one o' ye is Thena Allgood," he asked eying the youths suspiciously.
The two girls looked between each other and then back at the stranger. Both of them knew not to talk to strangers...they were pretty sure neither of them knew this dwarf...and yet he had asked for one of them by name. They were pretty sure this was a freakout of some kind.
The dwarf sighed and shook his head.
"Alright," he began, "One of ye is Thena Allgood and I have been asked to fetch you home."
"The Carrera's farm," Alyce asked, seeking a solution to the mystery.
The foul dwarf dropped his poke and placed both hands on his knees, bringing his face down to Alyce's.
"Do I look like the sort of man the Carrera's would befriend," the sour dwarf asked in an enforced polite tone. Alyce shook her head from side to side.
"Then I'm not likely taking Thena back to the Carrera's, ye great dunce," he said in the same restrained and polite tone. His cigar twitched from the right to the left and he began to chew on it.
He grabbed his poke, sat down on a nearby rock and shook his head.
"Alright, I am not supposed to be telling you any of this, but if I don't you are likely to ask me enough dumb questions to make me wish one or both of ye were dead," he said.
"I think he's calling us dumb." Thena whispered.
"Maybe you," Alyce responded.
"Ladies," the dwarf said raising his voice. They both returned their attention to the gruff interloper. He began to chew on his cigar a bit more.
"Here's the thing, I am here on behalf of Thena's father," he began.
"The rock star," Alyce interrupted.
"No, no, not the rock star," he said making a sincere effort to be calm as his cigar switched to the other side of his mouth, "For your information, whichever one of you is Thena, you are the daughter of Odin! And Odin insists that you come home."
"So...I'm the daughter of Odin," Thena asked.
"Yes," the dwarf replied.
"Who's Odin," she asked politely.
"Who's Odin? Who's Odin, she asks? Who the bloody hell is Odin," the dwarf began, he shook his head, switched his cigar to the other side of his mout and began angrily chewing it as he spoke " Odin is just the bloody ruler of all the Norse Gods! He's just the guy Wednesday is named after! Odin? He's the bloody All-Father and the man who defeated the damn Frost Giants! He created people once upon a time! That's who Odin is!"
"So...does he live around here," Alyce asked.
The dwarf smacked his hand against his overly large (for his head seemed built for a larger body than the one he had) forehead. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He may have counted under his breath.
"You know," he began, "this was much easier back in the old days...when your race actually KNEW things. Now you've built machines that know them for you and you wander around hashtagging everything...whatever in the Realms of Hel that is!"
The two girls looked between them and started to walk away.
"Stop. Right. There," he said, "in over 900 years, I have never failed to deliver a message and I'm not about to bloody start today! Sit down. On those two stones. There and there!"
The two girls, without even thinking about it, took the indicated seats. Then they looked at one another. Neither girl had intended to listen to the furious half-man, but listen and obey they had. They looked at the grizzled Dwarf who winked at them with a smile they had not, up until this moment, seen.
"My name is Huginn and I have worked at Odin's side for centuries. Myself and my brother are the last of an ancient race and we serve Odin himself. Thena here, is Odin's daughter and as such, he wants her to come home. She will be schooled by the Valkyries, the choosers of the slain and trained in the arts of war by Tyr, himself! Now doesn't that sound exciting?"
The two girls looked at one another. Then turned and looked back at Huginn.
"So if Odin is my father...," Thena began.
"...who is her mother," Alyce finished.
Huginn sat silently for some moments, the ember of his cigar glowing brightly as he chewed the end of it. A nervous moment danced across his eyes. Finally, he spoke in response.
"That is a question I cannot answer," Huginn replied, "as she has a noted tendency with weapons and no fondness for the Norse...at least, not anymore. More than that I will not risk my skin by saying...but your very name is a clue."
There was a long silence which Thena finally broke.
"What's a Valkyrie," she asked.
"And who's Tyr" Alyce followed up.
Huginn shook his head in frustration. The cigar switched sides of his mouth once more.
"Thena will come to know all this in time, for now, merely accept they are part of the the Norse Order of Things and thus, Thena will come to know them well," he said resorrting to the forced polite tone he had used earlier.
"Okay, if I am a Norse god...," Thena began.
"Well," Huginn replied, "only half a Norse god...and back in the day far less was required to be a God than there is today."
"Okay, but if I am half Norse," Thena continued, "then what is Alyce?"
Huginn shook his head.
"I do not know," he replied somberly, "but I can make some guesses. She is not fully human for sure because she can see me and most humans can't. Perhaps she has been touched by magic, or perhaps she is born to be a great hero or villain, because such are always born to live in the crossroads. They come alive on the borderlands. When they are neither one place or another they are as close to a home as they will ever know...but they carry a power with them. They can take the power of one place to another by virtue of their half nature. Further, I will add, I see you fated to be her boon companion...but I cannot see far down her road at all."
Thena said, "So, she can come with me?"
Huginn shook his head once more.
"Asgard is forbidden to mortals...even border-mortals like your friend and has been since the people stopped worshipping Odin and the rest," Huginn replied, "so say your goodbyes and let us get you home, Thena."
Alyce stood up with a tear in her eye. She crossed over to Thena. Thena got to her feet. Alyce hugged her with tears streaming slowly from her eyes. Thena pushed her back gently and lifted her head.
"Do not cry, Sweet Alyce, I am not going anywhere with this foul little troll," she said.
Huginn turned bright red and was about to speak and Thena held up her hand to his face.
"I have no idea if what you say is true or a lie, I want time to look up these things. Also, if my Dad wants me to come home so damn badly, he can let Alyce come or he can sit in moldy old Asgard and stew about it," with that, the ten year old gave the ancient dwarf the only finger that mattered and turned her back as the dwarf went apoplectic in his fury. He began to make rage filled noises but the girls will never know what he was about to say as suddenly, without a word, Huginn turned into a giant crow who began to caw furiously as he flew away.
They turned around to discuss it only to find their shoulders in a furiously strong grip. They looked up into the angry face of Hank Little.
"It's not enough you chase rabbits, you witless wonder," he bellowed, "but now you're chasing CROWS?!?"
"Please," Alyce said, bewildered by the older boys anger, "we just lost track of time!"
"LOST TRACK OF TIME," Hank screamed, "We called the police, you two have been gone for DAYS!"
And it was this way Alyce first discovered that often, when you deal with beings not native to this world, you deal with them in their time and not yours.
“Well,” a voice broke her reverie. She opened her eyes and looked at the doctor.
“Your playmates did a hell of a job banging you up at Battlebowl,” the doctor continued, “but they didn’t do near enough damage for me to uncertify you for competition...though, for my money...you should think about time off.”
Alyce gathered her things and without another word, left the office.
Two years later, the girls made some news in the small, back woods California 'town' they lived in for going missing for three days. It happened in this way.
Alyce had been on one of her rabbit hunts, aided by Thena (who was amazingly inventive and resourceful and managed to construct the most ingenious traps out of rocks, sticks, boxes, bits of twine and other such detritus) and they had wandered quite some way from the Carrera farm. Both knew their way home so were not at all concerned. They were close to catching a white rabbit, one that Alyce claimed to be 'close to perfect'. They were chasing the creature which disappeared around a corner. They rounded the corner and proceeded to run almost headlong into what appeared to be a grumpy Santa. He was short man, no more than four and a half feet tall. He wore bright red jeans and a red and black checkered flannel shirt. Over his left shoulder, he carried a stick and tied to one end of it; just like a tramp from years gone by, was a sheet wrapped bundle. He smoked a stinking cigar that the girls could not believe they didn't smell first and had a bushy white mane of hair on his head and a long white beard. The 10 year-olds somehow managed to keep from screaming when they almost literally ran into him.
"Which one o' ye is Thena Allgood," he asked eying the youths suspiciously.
The two girls looked between each other and then back at the stranger. Both of them knew not to talk to strangers...they were pretty sure neither of them knew this dwarf...and yet he had asked for one of them by name. They were pretty sure this was a freakout of some kind.
The dwarf sighed and shook his head.
"Alright," he began, "One of ye is Thena Allgood and I have been asked to fetch you home."
"The Carrera's farm," Alyce asked, seeking a solution to the mystery.
The foul dwarf dropped his poke and placed both hands on his knees, bringing his face down to Alyce's.
"Do I look like the sort of man the Carrera's would befriend," the sour dwarf asked in an enforced polite tone. Alyce shook her head from side to side.
"Then I'm not likely taking Thena back to the Carrera's, ye great dunce," he said in the same restrained and polite tone. His cigar twitched from the right to the left and he began to chew on it.
He grabbed his poke, sat down on a nearby rock and shook his head.
"Alright, I am not supposed to be telling you any of this, but if I don't you are likely to ask me enough dumb questions to make me wish one or both of ye were dead," he said.
"I think he's calling us dumb." Thena whispered.
"Maybe you," Alyce responded.
"Ladies," the dwarf said raising his voice. They both returned their attention to the gruff interloper. He began to chew on his cigar a bit more.
"Here's the thing, I am here on behalf of Thena's father," he began.
"The rock star," Alyce interrupted.
"No, no, not the rock star," he said making a sincere effort to be calm as his cigar switched to the other side of his mouth, "For your information, whichever one of you is Thena, you are the daughter of Odin! And Odin insists that you come home."
"So...I'm the daughter of Odin," Thena asked.
"Yes," the dwarf replied.
"Who's Odin," she asked politely.
"Who's Odin? Who's Odin, she asks? Who the bloody hell is Odin," the dwarf began, he shook his head, switched his cigar to the other side of his mout and began angrily chewing it as he spoke " Odin is just the bloody ruler of all the Norse Gods! He's just the guy Wednesday is named after! Odin? He's the bloody All-Father and the man who defeated the damn Frost Giants! He created people once upon a time! That's who Odin is!"
"So...does he live around here," Alyce asked.
The dwarf smacked his hand against his overly large (for his head seemed built for a larger body than the one he had) forehead. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He may have counted under his breath.
"You know," he began, "this was much easier back in the old days...when your race actually KNEW things. Now you've built machines that know them for you and you wander around hashtagging everything...whatever in the Realms of Hel that is!"
The two girls looked between them and started to walk away.
"Stop. Right. There," he said, "in over 900 years, I have never failed to deliver a message and I'm not about to bloody start today! Sit down. On those two stones. There and there!"
The two girls, without even thinking about it, took the indicated seats. Then they looked at one another. Neither girl had intended to listen to the furious half-man, but listen and obey they had. They looked at the grizzled Dwarf who winked at them with a smile they had not, up until this moment, seen.
"My name is Huginn and I have worked at Odin's side for centuries. Myself and my brother are the last of an ancient race and we serve Odin himself. Thena here, is Odin's daughter and as such, he wants her to come home. She will be schooled by the Valkyries, the choosers of the slain and trained in the arts of war by Tyr, himself! Now doesn't that sound exciting?"
The two girls looked at one another. Then turned and looked back at Huginn.
"So if Odin is my father...," Thena began.
"...who is her mother," Alyce finished.
Huginn sat silently for some moments, the ember of his cigar glowing brightly as he chewed the end of it. A nervous moment danced across his eyes. Finally, he spoke in response.
"That is a question I cannot answer," Huginn replied, "as she has a noted tendency with weapons and no fondness for the Norse...at least, not anymore. More than that I will not risk my skin by saying...but your very name is a clue."
There was a long silence which Thena finally broke.
"What's a Valkyrie," she asked.
"And who's Tyr" Alyce followed up.
Huginn shook his head in frustration. The cigar switched sides of his mouth once more.
"Thena will come to know all this in time, for now, merely accept they are part of the the Norse Order of Things and thus, Thena will come to know them well," he said resorrting to the forced polite tone he had used earlier.
"Okay, if I am a Norse god...," Thena began.
"Well," Huginn replied, "only half a Norse god...and back in the day far less was required to be a God than there is today."
"Okay, but if I am half Norse," Thena continued, "then what is Alyce?"
Huginn shook his head.
"I do not know," he replied somberly, "but I can make some guesses. She is not fully human for sure because she can see me and most humans can't. Perhaps she has been touched by magic, or perhaps she is born to be a great hero or villain, because such are always born to live in the crossroads. They come alive on the borderlands. When they are neither one place or another they are as close to a home as they will ever know...but they carry a power with them. They can take the power of one place to another by virtue of their half nature. Further, I will add, I see you fated to be her boon companion...but I cannot see far down her road at all."
Thena said, "So, she can come with me?"
Huginn shook his head once more.
"Asgard is forbidden to mortals...even border-mortals like your friend and has been since the people stopped worshipping Odin and the rest," Huginn replied, "so say your goodbyes and let us get you home, Thena."
Alyce stood up with a tear in her eye. She crossed over to Thena. Thena got to her feet. Alyce hugged her with tears streaming slowly from her eyes. Thena pushed her back gently and lifted her head.
"Do not cry, Sweet Alyce, I am not going anywhere with this foul little troll," she said.
Huginn turned bright red and was about to speak and Thena held up her hand to his face.
"I have no idea if what you say is true or a lie, I want time to look up these things. Also, if my Dad wants me to come home so damn badly, he can let Alyce come or he can sit in moldy old Asgard and stew about it," with that, the ten year old gave the ancient dwarf the only finger that mattered and turned her back as the dwarf went apoplectic in his fury. He began to make rage filled noises but the girls will never know what he was about to say as suddenly, without a word, Huginn turned into a giant crow who began to caw furiously as he flew away.
They turned around to discuss it only to find their shoulders in a furiously strong grip. They looked up into the angry face of Hank Little.
"It's not enough you chase rabbits, you witless wonder," he bellowed, "but now you're chasing CROWS?!?"
"Please," Alyce said, bewildered by the older boys anger, "we just lost track of time!"
"LOST TRACK OF TIME," Hank screamed, "We called the police, you two have been gone for DAYS!"
And it was this way Alyce first discovered that often, when you deal with beings not native to this world, you deal with them in their time and not yours.
“Well,” a voice broke her reverie. She opened her eyes and looked at the doctor.
“Your playmates did a hell of a job banging you up at Battlebowl,” the doctor continued, “but they didn’t do near enough damage for me to uncertify you for competition...though, for my money...you should think about time off.”
Alyce gathered her things and without another word, left the office.
