Post by Rick Majors on Oct 22, 2018 22:01:47 GMT -5
I’m not able to serve my Lord anymore.
I can’t.
I failed. Again. It has become too commonplace. Failure after failure after failure. I have disappointed my Lord. I have disappointed myself. I couldn’t stop that heathen Kyle Shane from desecrating everything I believe in. He shaved Seromine’s head. He forced Him to speak blasphemous words on national television. And I couldn’t stop him.
Destroying him with a steel chair didn’t help either. The chair broke, but he didn’t. At Deadly Intentions, Kyle Shane pinned Seromine once again. And once again I could do nothing about it. Then, I tried to redeem myself in the Deadly Rumble and - again - more failure. Failure after failure after failure. This isn't what the Lord expected when He saved me. This isn't what He deserves.
It’s shameful. It’s disgusting. It’s horrifying.
What’s even more horrifying is that we have to face Kyle Shane again. I have to go out there and pretend like I have any confidence left, like I have any reason to believe that I’ll be effective in any way, when deep down I know that Kyle Shane has neutralized me. I am ineffective against him. It all started when he took my North American title. Yes, I won it back, but his victory over me was the first time I realized what Kyle Shane is made of. I could see in his eyes that he had my number. I knew that he could continue to be trouble for me. And I wasn’t wrong.
By Kyle Shane’s side this week is another man who took my North American Title, a title that he still holds. He is another man who has disgraced the Lord. A man who relished in tormenting and taunting the Lord. And what did I do about that? I didn’t stop that scarecrow either.
So now here I am, on an event named All Hallows’ Eve – an event that celebrates darkness and the devil – and I am almost certain to fail again. How am I supposed to do this? It’s like the entire situation is mocking me. Not only must I tag with the Lord, who is no doubt horrifically disappointed in me, but I must do so against two men who have shown time and time again that they can destroy me with the snap of a finger.
I am powerless.
So how am I supposed to wake up and drive to Trauma, knowing the failure and disappointment that awaits me?
The shining light in all of this is that it is nearly Halloween. Traditionally, I despise this occasion. It is a celebration of sin. It is disgusting in its decadence and its Satan worship. It turns children into greedy beasts, desperate for sugar. It makes them worship ghosts and death and darkness. But it also provides an escape. It gives people the opportunity to put on a mask and – for a short while at least – become someone else.
Typically hiding behind a fake persona is something I would despise. It screams weakness. But I am weak. And now this is what I must do. It is my only hope.
On Trauma I will put on a mask. I will wear the mask of a successful person. A mask of a person who is effective. A mask of a man who is able to achieve his goals. I will wear this mask and stand proudly beside my Lord. And side by side we will stare down the fiends who dare to challenge us. And - with the assurance given to me by this cursed holiday – I will be victorious. I will use sin for my own gain. I will turn darkness into light.
I will win back my strength. I will win back my confidence. I will win my way back into the Lord’s good graces. And then I won’t need the mask any more. I will become the successful, effective person that I need to be. I will achieve my goals. I will be victorious. I will again ascend to the right hand of the Lord.
And the sinners will fall. They will suffer. They will pay. You cannot cross the Lord in the manner that they have and not pay for it. But your judgment will not occur outside the pearly gates. No, you will be judged here on earth. And you will be made to atone for your sins. And, since the crimes you have committed were so severe, you will pay with your lives.
There will be no treats for you this Halloween. Your days of playing tricks are over. It is time for the Lord to assert Himself once more. And it is time for you to die.
Happy Halloween.
I can’t.
I failed. Again. It has become too commonplace. Failure after failure after failure. I have disappointed my Lord. I have disappointed myself. I couldn’t stop that heathen Kyle Shane from desecrating everything I believe in. He shaved Seromine’s head. He forced Him to speak blasphemous words on national television. And I couldn’t stop him.
Destroying him with a steel chair didn’t help either. The chair broke, but he didn’t. At Deadly Intentions, Kyle Shane pinned Seromine once again. And once again I could do nothing about it. Then, I tried to redeem myself in the Deadly Rumble and - again - more failure. Failure after failure after failure. This isn't what the Lord expected when He saved me. This isn't what He deserves.
It’s shameful. It’s disgusting. It’s horrifying.
What’s even more horrifying is that we have to face Kyle Shane again. I have to go out there and pretend like I have any confidence left, like I have any reason to believe that I’ll be effective in any way, when deep down I know that Kyle Shane has neutralized me. I am ineffective against him. It all started when he took my North American title. Yes, I won it back, but his victory over me was the first time I realized what Kyle Shane is made of. I could see in his eyes that he had my number. I knew that he could continue to be trouble for me. And I wasn’t wrong.
By Kyle Shane’s side this week is another man who took my North American Title, a title that he still holds. He is another man who has disgraced the Lord. A man who relished in tormenting and taunting the Lord. And what did I do about that? I didn’t stop that scarecrow either.
So now here I am, on an event named All Hallows’ Eve – an event that celebrates darkness and the devil – and I am almost certain to fail again. How am I supposed to do this? It’s like the entire situation is mocking me. Not only must I tag with the Lord, who is no doubt horrifically disappointed in me, but I must do so against two men who have shown time and time again that they can destroy me with the snap of a finger.
I am powerless.
So how am I supposed to wake up and drive to Trauma, knowing the failure and disappointment that awaits me?
The shining light in all of this is that it is nearly Halloween. Traditionally, I despise this occasion. It is a celebration of sin. It is disgusting in its decadence and its Satan worship. It turns children into greedy beasts, desperate for sugar. It makes them worship ghosts and death and darkness. But it also provides an escape. It gives people the opportunity to put on a mask and – for a short while at least – become someone else.
Typically hiding behind a fake persona is something I would despise. It screams weakness. But I am weak. And now this is what I must do. It is my only hope.
On Trauma I will put on a mask. I will wear the mask of a successful person. A mask of a person who is effective. A mask of a man who is able to achieve his goals. I will wear this mask and stand proudly beside my Lord. And side by side we will stare down the fiends who dare to challenge us. And - with the assurance given to me by this cursed holiday – I will be victorious. I will use sin for my own gain. I will turn darkness into light.
I will win back my strength. I will win back my confidence. I will win my way back into the Lord’s good graces. And then I won’t need the mask any more. I will become the successful, effective person that I need to be. I will achieve my goals. I will be victorious. I will again ascend to the right hand of the Lord.
And the sinners will fall. They will suffer. They will pay. You cannot cross the Lord in the manner that they have and not pay for it. But your judgment will not occur outside the pearly gates. No, you will be judged here on earth. And you will be made to atone for your sins. And, since the crimes you have committed were so severe, you will pay with your lives.
There will be no treats for you this Halloween. Your days of playing tricks are over. It is time for the Lord to assert Himself once more. And it is time for you to die.
Happy Halloween.