Post by Rick Majors on Feb 25, 2020 21:25:36 GMT -5
“You how know in Super Mario Brothers, when you start the game, you’re outside and you have to fight or avoid Goombas and Koopas? Then, when you beat that level, things get different. You go underground it's all new. Sure, there are still Goombas and Koopas, but the music is different, the scenery is different, it’s all different. You're rewarded with a new experience. Then, when you beat that level, the next one is up in the trees, and you're jumping from platform to platform, and some of the Koopas have wings now. Then….”
“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you, Rick, but I asked you how you’re doing and you started talking about Super Mario. Are you trying to tell me you’ve been spending all your time playing old Nintendo games?”
“Well, yes, but that’s not why I’m talking about this. It's something that's bothering me. You’re my therapist. You’re supposed to listen, right?”
“Of course, but you do have a history of changing the subject when a difficult issue comes up. We’ve been meeting like this for years and it’s often obvious when you’re hiding something.”
“The only thing I’m hiding is that I’ve only beaten Mario Brothers once, like thirty years ago. And I've never beaten Mario 3. It's my secret shame.”
“Okay. I have to say that I’m not entirely following your train of thought here, but continue.”
“Thank you,” replies Rick Majors and he leans back in his chair. He closes his eyes and continues to thoughtfully talk about Super Mario Brothers in depth.
“So after the platform level, you go to a castle and this seems serious. It seems like the big time. You’ve finally made it, you know what I mean? The first time you play the game, this is a big deal. And the castle’s pretty tough to get though, but once you get through all of it, there he is: Bowser.”
“That’s the big reptile guy with the spikes, right?”
“Don’t pretend like you’ve never played Mario Brothers.”
“I mean, I obviously have, but only a few of times and I’m not that familiar with the details.”
“Fine,” Rick responds with a sigh.
“Anyway, Bowser's the big bad guy. He's the one who kidnapped the Princess and terrorized the Mushroom Kingdom, so, when you get to Bowser, it's totally a big deal. I remember playing it when it first game out and being pumped at this point. This was the big battle! This was what you were playing for!" Rick pauses for a moment before continuing. "So, you're face-to-face with the monster that is Bowser, and beating him looks impossible, but you work hard and you manage to grab that axe and – YES – the floor falls out from under him and he’s gone! You did it! You did it! You saved the Princess! She’s free!" Rick pauses again and sighs. "But she’s not. She’s in another castle. Another fucking castle.”
Rick Majors appears to be visibly angry while discussing this 35-year-old video game. He calms himself down and continues to speak.
“So Toad tells you she’s in another castle, and you head off to find her and then you’re outside again. You’ve got to do it all again. You have to beat the outside level then then underground level – oh sure, it’s underwater the next time, but still – and then the jumping on platforms one and then the castle… but the Princess isn’t in that one either. Of course she isn’t. You need to do it again. And again. And again. And then, when you do finally beat the actual Bowser and you actually save the real Princess, you’re offered the incredible opportunity to PLAY THE WHOLE THING AGAIN BUT NOW IT’S HARDER.”
“Please, Rick, try to stay calm.”
“Sorry,” Rick Majors replies before taking a moment to compose himself. “It’s just frustrating, you know? You work your ass off and you do what you’re supposed to do and you think you’ve won and then – BAM! – Bowser’s not dead, the Princess isn’t saved. Do it again. Now do it again. For 35 years Bowser has been kidnapping the Princess and no matter what Mario does, it doesn’t matter. His hard work and talent and effort don’t matter because Bowser’s just there again: stopping him, taunting him, mocking him.”
“I think I’m starting to get where you’re going with this, Rick.”
“Yeah, what I’m saying is Super Mario Brothers is frustrating.”
“Is that really it? You’re all worked up over a video game plumber?”
“Yes,” Rick lies, realizing his attempt at being clever and trying to hide his actual point was actually really, really weak.
“Are you sure this isn’t about Jason Willard?”
“Well…. maayyyyyyybe it is.”
“I saw that you’re facing him in a match again. How does that make you feel?”
“It’s just…. It’s just…” Rick paused, trying to find the words. “It’s just always about him, you know? I mean, I dropped him on his head and left his stupid cult, and he was still there. I beat him as Seromine in a match. He was still there. I beat him as Jason Willard in a match. He was still there. I eliminated him from the Deadly Rumble. He was still there. I won the Underground Title. AND HE’S STILL THERE.”
Rick paused again. He was getting worked up now and he knew he shouldn’t be.
“I thought I would finally be able to move on from him, you know? I beat him. It should have been over. Then Holden Ross came around, calling Jason his mentor and whatnot, not letting me forget about that cult, but I beat him too. I thought it was over. I thought I’d conquered that monster. I moved on to the Underground Title and to High Tide and to new challenges… but he's still here. I’m never going to be free of him.”
“Is that how you feel? Do you feel trapped?”
“No. I mean, yes. I mean… sort of. It’s not the same as when I was in the cult, of course, but I do feel like I can’t get away no matter what.”
“You went through a very traumatic experience, Rick. He tried to erase your identity. He tried to change your entire life, your entire existence. That sort of thing takes time to recover from.”
“Yeah, but time is something I don’t have. I’m not a young man. For a professional wrestler, I’m basically ancient. I’ve got maybe a year or two left in me if that. I don’t want the rest of my career to be all about Jason Willard. He doesn’t deserve that honour and I don’t think I deserve that punishment. Oh… maybe I do. I’ve been a pretty shitty person over the course of my life.”
“Rick, don’t do this. We've talked a lot over the years about how you tend to dwell on the negative. Don’t take this as another opportunity to feel bad for yourself. That isn’t productive. You know that.”
“Okay,” Rick sighs. “Sorry. You’re right. But what is ‘productive’ anyway? If I’m destined to spend the rest of my career dealing with Jason Willard over and over and over, what’s the point of any of it? No matter what I do, the Princess is in another castle. I’m never victorious.”
“Well, what does ‘victory’ look like to you anyway? What would you consider 'victorious' to be?”
Rick Majors is quiet for a while. It was a good question. A very good question. There's a reason he pays so much money for these sessions and questions like that were exactly why. Truthfully, he didn't know the answer. In recent years, he hasn’t been a man who has really planned for the future. When he was young, he wanted to win titles. He wanted to be in main events and headline shows and be famous. Now? It’s not so clear. Since freeing himself from the cult, he’s only thought very short term. First, the goal was get back in the ring as himself. Then, beat Seromine. Then, beat Willard. Then, win a championship. But none of those goals represented a ‘victory’ for him. They were steps along the way. But he didn’t know where the path was going.
“I… I don’t know.”
“Well maybe that’s what you could focus on instead of getting frustrated with Jason Willard. There are other people in this match, and it seems like you’re barely even thinking about them. Allow yourself to be free. You fought for this and you deserve freedom. I fully understand how it’s frustrating that he keeps showing up in your life, but being so focused on him is just giving him more power over you. Rather than worry about what he’s doing, think about what you’re doing and what you want to be doing. You can’t be happy if you don’t know what happiness looks like to you.”
“So I can’t just sit at home and play Super Mario?” Rick joked.
“No, you can. If that’s what you think will make you happy. But I believe you want something more.”
“I do,” Rick says softly. “Thanks.”
Of course, he had no idea what he actually wanted. Big goals scared him. The bigger the goal, the more likely it was that he would fail, and the more it would hurt when he did. That’s why he typically stuck with straightforward, immediate goals. That's what he was comfortable with. It’s the reason why Mario kept going back and saving the Princess instead of, like, fighting terrorism. It’s safer to go with what you know.
“I’m sorry, Rick, but we’re almost out of time for today. Please think about what we talked about, will you?”
“Definitely. Thanks for the guidance, as always. I’ll see you next week.”
“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you, Rick, but I asked you how you’re doing and you started talking about Super Mario. Are you trying to tell me you’ve been spending all your time playing old Nintendo games?”
“Well, yes, but that’s not why I’m talking about this. It's something that's bothering me. You’re my therapist. You’re supposed to listen, right?”
“Of course, but you do have a history of changing the subject when a difficult issue comes up. We’ve been meeting like this for years and it’s often obvious when you’re hiding something.”
“The only thing I’m hiding is that I’ve only beaten Mario Brothers once, like thirty years ago. And I've never beaten Mario 3. It's my secret shame.”
“Okay. I have to say that I’m not entirely following your train of thought here, but continue.”
“Thank you,” replies Rick Majors and he leans back in his chair. He closes his eyes and continues to thoughtfully talk about Super Mario Brothers in depth.
“So after the platform level, you go to a castle and this seems serious. It seems like the big time. You’ve finally made it, you know what I mean? The first time you play the game, this is a big deal. And the castle’s pretty tough to get though, but once you get through all of it, there he is: Bowser.”
“That’s the big reptile guy with the spikes, right?”
“Don’t pretend like you’ve never played Mario Brothers.”
“I mean, I obviously have, but only a few of times and I’m not that familiar with the details.”
“Fine,” Rick responds with a sigh.
“Anyway, Bowser's the big bad guy. He's the one who kidnapped the Princess and terrorized the Mushroom Kingdom, so, when you get to Bowser, it's totally a big deal. I remember playing it when it first game out and being pumped at this point. This was the big battle! This was what you were playing for!" Rick pauses for a moment before continuing. "So, you're face-to-face with the monster that is Bowser, and beating him looks impossible, but you work hard and you manage to grab that axe and – YES – the floor falls out from under him and he’s gone! You did it! You did it! You saved the Princess! She’s free!" Rick pauses again and sighs. "But she’s not. She’s in another castle. Another fucking castle.”
Rick Majors appears to be visibly angry while discussing this 35-year-old video game. He calms himself down and continues to speak.
“So Toad tells you she’s in another castle, and you head off to find her and then you’re outside again. You’ve got to do it all again. You have to beat the outside level then then underground level – oh sure, it’s underwater the next time, but still – and then the jumping on platforms one and then the castle… but the Princess isn’t in that one either. Of course she isn’t. You need to do it again. And again. And again. And then, when you do finally beat the actual Bowser and you actually save the real Princess, you’re offered the incredible opportunity to PLAY THE WHOLE THING AGAIN BUT NOW IT’S HARDER.”
“Please, Rick, try to stay calm.”
“Sorry,” Rick Majors replies before taking a moment to compose himself. “It’s just frustrating, you know? You work your ass off and you do what you’re supposed to do and you think you’ve won and then – BAM! – Bowser’s not dead, the Princess isn’t saved. Do it again. Now do it again. For 35 years Bowser has been kidnapping the Princess and no matter what Mario does, it doesn’t matter. His hard work and talent and effort don’t matter because Bowser’s just there again: stopping him, taunting him, mocking him.”
“I think I’m starting to get where you’re going with this, Rick.”
“Yeah, what I’m saying is Super Mario Brothers is frustrating.”
“Is that really it? You’re all worked up over a video game plumber?”
“Yes,” Rick lies, realizing his attempt at being clever and trying to hide his actual point was actually really, really weak.
“Are you sure this isn’t about Jason Willard?”
“Well…. maayyyyyyybe it is.”
“I saw that you’re facing him in a match again. How does that make you feel?”
“It’s just…. It’s just…” Rick paused, trying to find the words. “It’s just always about him, you know? I mean, I dropped him on his head and left his stupid cult, and he was still there. I beat him as Seromine in a match. He was still there. I beat him as Jason Willard in a match. He was still there. I eliminated him from the Deadly Rumble. He was still there. I won the Underground Title. AND HE’S STILL THERE.”
Rick paused again. He was getting worked up now and he knew he shouldn’t be.
“I thought I would finally be able to move on from him, you know? I beat him. It should have been over. Then Holden Ross came around, calling Jason his mentor and whatnot, not letting me forget about that cult, but I beat him too. I thought it was over. I thought I’d conquered that monster. I moved on to the Underground Title and to High Tide and to new challenges… but he's still here. I’m never going to be free of him.”
“Is that how you feel? Do you feel trapped?”
“No. I mean, yes. I mean… sort of. It’s not the same as when I was in the cult, of course, but I do feel like I can’t get away no matter what.”
“You went through a very traumatic experience, Rick. He tried to erase your identity. He tried to change your entire life, your entire existence. That sort of thing takes time to recover from.”
“Yeah, but time is something I don’t have. I’m not a young man. For a professional wrestler, I’m basically ancient. I’ve got maybe a year or two left in me if that. I don’t want the rest of my career to be all about Jason Willard. He doesn’t deserve that honour and I don’t think I deserve that punishment. Oh… maybe I do. I’ve been a pretty shitty person over the course of my life.”
“Rick, don’t do this. We've talked a lot over the years about how you tend to dwell on the negative. Don’t take this as another opportunity to feel bad for yourself. That isn’t productive. You know that.”
“Okay,” Rick sighs. “Sorry. You’re right. But what is ‘productive’ anyway? If I’m destined to spend the rest of my career dealing with Jason Willard over and over and over, what’s the point of any of it? No matter what I do, the Princess is in another castle. I’m never victorious.”
“Well, what does ‘victory’ look like to you anyway? What would you consider 'victorious' to be?”
Rick Majors is quiet for a while. It was a good question. A very good question. There's a reason he pays so much money for these sessions and questions like that were exactly why. Truthfully, he didn't know the answer. In recent years, he hasn’t been a man who has really planned for the future. When he was young, he wanted to win titles. He wanted to be in main events and headline shows and be famous. Now? It’s not so clear. Since freeing himself from the cult, he’s only thought very short term. First, the goal was get back in the ring as himself. Then, beat Seromine. Then, beat Willard. Then, win a championship. But none of those goals represented a ‘victory’ for him. They were steps along the way. But he didn’t know where the path was going.
“I… I don’t know.”
“Well maybe that’s what you could focus on instead of getting frustrated with Jason Willard. There are other people in this match, and it seems like you’re barely even thinking about them. Allow yourself to be free. You fought for this and you deserve freedom. I fully understand how it’s frustrating that he keeps showing up in your life, but being so focused on him is just giving him more power over you. Rather than worry about what he’s doing, think about what you’re doing and what you want to be doing. You can’t be happy if you don’t know what happiness looks like to you.”
“So I can’t just sit at home and play Super Mario?” Rick joked.
“No, you can. If that’s what you think will make you happy. But I believe you want something more.”
“I do,” Rick says softly. “Thanks.”
Of course, he had no idea what he actually wanted. Big goals scared him. The bigger the goal, the more likely it was that he would fail, and the more it would hurt when he did. That’s why he typically stuck with straightforward, immediate goals. That's what he was comfortable with. It’s the reason why Mario kept going back and saving the Princess instead of, like, fighting terrorism. It’s safer to go with what you know.
“I’m sorry, Rick, but we’re almost out of time for today. Please think about what we talked about, will you?”
“Definitely. Thanks for the guidance, as always. I’ll see you next week.”
