Trauma 267 Results

[PCW Staff]

Pure Class Wrestling Presents: Trauma 267

Friday March 13th, 2020

Jerry Andrews: Welcome to PCW Trauma! I'm Jerry Andrews alongside Ace Anderson and what a show we have for you!

Ace Anderson: The fallout of Mass Destruction is here and - woo - what a show that was!

As the sounds of the usual PCW faithful roar as raucous a crowd as they can be, it doesn't take much but the lights going out for the sounds to cease.

The crowd is on the edge of their seats, ready for who might be coming out. Ready and waiting for who the superstar might be.

When "The Night" by Voltaire starts playing across the speakers, the crowd is admittedly confused. The lights remain off, all while the song's guitar strums away.

Before too long, a single spotlight shines directly on the stage. We can see a familiar face, albeit shrouded in a slight silhouette. His head is down and his arms are out wide, but it's the yellow star on a black shirt that gives it away. Along with a gray suit jacket and a pair of blue jeans, there is no doubt that this is David Hunter.

The lights begin to ebb in and out to the rhythm, only enhancing the boos that begin to form. They're small, but alive.

Once the lyrics start and Voltaire's soothing voice can be heard, David looks up, a smirk adorning his face.

To say that the boos become deafening is an understatement.

The lights return to the arena, with David lowering his arms and looking around at the crowd. Their jeers pour out as David walks down the ramp. He holds his hands at his hips, the smirk continuing to glue itself to his face.

A few of the people that David passes, he offers them a high-five. One of them is a woman who bats their sign at him. Across the aisle David finds a little boy who hides against their father's leg. David offers a hand, and the kid hides deeper into his father's pants leg. David shakes his head, his smile wide and his eyes wider, accentuated by some eyeliner shadowing their blue.

David reaches ringside, wasting little time in hopping onto the apron before hopping onto the turnbuckle, one leg on the middle rope, one on the top. David points towards the hard camera, giving it a solid wink and a smirk before jumping into the ring.

He looks around, paying close attention to the fans' reactions. Once he sees what he's looking for, he smiles again. Shaking his head, he approaches the ropes. He calls for a mic and is granted it just as the music fades away. He takes no time at all to let the crowd eat it up.

David Hunter: Yeah, let's hear it for David Hunter!

The boos return, raining down heaps and loads upon the gentlemen, all while he's egging them on by waving his arms and clapping to himself.

David Hunter: What a hell of a night, right? It's PCW Trauma! The Icemann's right around the corner! And just in time for your good buddy David Hunter to be back into the fold!

His smile is ridiculous and his words are said mockingly. The crowd's boos do not cease.

Eventually, even the crowd gets tired, and as their boos are drowned out, David speaks back up.

David Hunter: It's alright, you have a whole show left to boo me, I'm sure you'll find time to do it later.

Of course, this only adds to the fire, refueling them with a second wind. David nods his head and smiles. He looks right at the hard camera and checks an imaginary watch.

Once again, the crowd's boos start to diminish, and once they are depleted, David continues.

David Hunter: I've made it perfectly clear that I don't give a damn about what you people think from day...frickin...one...so you can go on and jeer me, cheer me, revere me, or even sincerely...fear me, because no matter what you think, it won't change the fact that I'm here...in this ring...and you're out there losing your voices because you can't help but boo everything that I am.

Well of course that only makes the crowd angrier. David shakes his head, mocking them by making his hands talk and rolling his eyes.

David Hunter: Oh lay off it! I've been in this company for almost two years and you people haven't given me anything but grief. Whether it's as the King of the Underground, tossing Icey's into a production guy's face, or holding that North American Title high, I've been nothing but mocked and ridiculed, so I'm sorry if I want to give back in kind.

David pauses a bit to catch his breath.

David Hunter: And you know what? I'm glad that nobody likes me. I'm glad that I'm seen as this arrogant little shit...because it's true. I'm young, I'm cocky, I'm abrasive and rude, but you know what I also am? I'm hungry. I'm driven. I'm stubborn. And most importantly...I'm damn...good...at what I do. I wouldn't have won what I have, been where I have if I wasn't. Final five or final four in the Deadly Rumble. Been through hell and back in the Icemann. Three time Underground Champion. North American Champion. Multiple Iceys winner. And it's that same drive and perseverance...that made me do what I did at Mass Destruction.

David lowers the mic, letting the crowd have their say for once. It doesn't last long, but it's enough for him to look away from the camera.

David Hunter: Before the match, Cory Steel was just in the way. My target...was always Dominator. That big, beefy bastard took that North American Title from me. Now...fair play, the man won it fair and square, but I'll be dammed if I go down without a rematch. I've always preached rematches left and right when I was the champion, and I expect the same in return. That's why Dominator was my man, was the guy I was focused on. That's why he was the person I wanted to defeat. And sure as shit, the man just...went and lost it to Cory Steel. So congratulations Cory. You're the champion! You've done it!

He stops, lowering the mic long enough to give off a few sarcastic claps.

David Hunter: But now you're the target. Now you're the one I want. Now you're the champion I get to take the crown from. And if you feel like getting revenge for that cheap shot I gave you at Mass Destruction...remember what I did to Dominator. Yeah, good luck seeing him around here anytime sooner. Be damn happy I didn't break his *BEEP*ing skull in.

The crowd doesn't like it, as evident by their loud negative response.

David Hunter: So my next major goal is to defeat Cory Steel for the North American Championship. But that's for later. Tonight...tonight is about reasserting why Pandæmonium will rule. We're down one man, and you know we're with you Holden, but that means Gerry and I have to step up and pick up where you're leaving off. No problem, done, you got it. But we're facing Grimm and Brenna Gordon. And fuck me if I'm not tired of seeing Brenna's mug.

Boy the boys just keep on coming don't they?

David Hunter: We've beaten her before and we'll do it again. Grimm's the only threat on their team worth mentioning. But Brenna wants revenge. That means she's more vicious right? Wrong. Brenna ain't shit and Gerry and I aren't worried about her. We've taken her out once, I'll be perfectly happy to do it again. So that leaves Grimm. The World Champion. The cream of the crop and The Man. I see no problem here. Ya see, Grimm and I have never tested odds. I'd love to meet him face-to-face and see who really walks away the better wrestler. But until then, Gerry and I have a tag match to win.

David lowers the mic, thinking for a bit before resuming.

David Hunter: So for anybody listening, anybody bothering to give a shit about anything I say, than congratulations, you're noticed. I don't care if you're Brenna, Grimm, Cory, Dom, Sicko, Ace, Ty the Third, Rick, or Santa Claus...if you end up in my way...you will be put down. You've seen what I can do...but you haven't seen...what I can become.

David drops the mic, allowing "The Night" by Voltaire to resume playing. He heads out of the ring, his smile no longer on his face as he makes his way to the back.

Jerry Andrews: David out here calling shots after shots and not letting anybody off easy.

Ace Anderson: He knows what he wants, and he''s a man willing to do anything to get it.

Jerry Andrews: Well, there's one thing for sure: David Hunter is back...and I fear for anybody who has to go up against him.

As Trauma returns, the lights in the arena shut off, generating a buzz from the crowd. Darkness remains for almost half a minute, causing the crowd to get a little louder with tension before the sound of the speakers turning on confirms that the power is not out. A deep, foreboding breath inhales, the amps reverberating through the arena...

"She's in love with herself..."

Red strobe lights begin to flash throughout the arena as the image of the late Pete Steele’s bone white face close up on the screen of the tron, freaking practically everyone out as the lead singer of Type-O-Negative grins, revealing vampire fangs.

“She likes the dark…”

The music is picking up now as Steele’s face fades out and then back in, looking like Dracula incarnate.

“And on her milk white neck…the Devil’s mark…”

The official video of “Black No.1” cuts out for a moment, replaced by the image of a raven, perched on a branch in a dark forest, human eye ball dangling from its beak.

“Now it’s All Hallow’s Eve
The moon is full
Oh, will she trick or treat?
I bet she will…”

The raven looks at the camera before cawing, the eyeball dropping as its wings unfurl and it flies at the screen. The sound of a female fan losing her shit echoes throughout the arena, and as the strobe lights continue, you can see the unsettled look on some people’s faces. The camera switches now to a foggy graveyard as the camera follows the backside of a flowing robe, a tattooed hand brushing over tomb stones.

“SHE WILL!!!!!!”

After Steele screams, the music picks up, louder and faster as smoke begins to escape the stage. At the same time, the same cloaked figure emerges from backstage, hood covering the face but long blonde locks hanging like cob webs from the death shawl.

“She’s got a date at midnight
With Nosferatu.
Oh baby, Lily Munster…
Ain’t got nothing on you!”

The head beneath the hood rises, the smoke billowing around the figure as the lights change from red to lime green. The same tattooed hand escapes a sleeve and rises up slowly before pushing back the hood, a crazed smile on the face of Raven Hex as she reveals herself to the skeeved audience.

“Well when I called her evil
She just laughed.
And cast that spell on me.
Boo Bitch Craft.”

Hex shrugs her shoulders, letting the moth eaten cloak fall into the smoke as she slowly begins to walk down the ramp, her chest rising and falling with her breathing, exposed cleavage glistening from the moisture of the simulated fog, giving the males in the audience a show as she walks through the chorus of the dark song.

As is her ritual, she finds the first decent looking man of age along the ramp and goes up to him, grabbing him by the hair and craning his neck back before baring her teeth, licking her lips and then giving him a kiss that seems only enjoyable to the S & M crowd. Either way, the guy doesn’t fight her off and she withdraws, her tongue snaking out and licking away what seems to be a small amount of blood on her lips. Winking at the guy, she lets go of him and continues down towards the ring, the strobe lights making it look as if she is gliding. Her face keeps changing from demented smile to an awkward stoic expression, but she reaches the ring and slides in head first before getting onto her knees and crawling like a stabbing victim towards the other side of the ring.

“Loving you, was like loving the dead…was like loving the dead…”

She lies there just under the ropes, face on the apron as the strobe lights cease and the spotlight is on the ring.

“Was like FUCKING the dead!”

Raven switches from a blank stare at the commentating table to a joyous grin as she uses the ropes to pull herself up to a standing position, her entrance now finished as her fractured mind does whatever it does before a match.

Sasha Greene: "Introducing first, from Boston, Massachusetts: RAVEN HEX!!"

Jerry Andrews: It's good to see Raven Hex back in PCW!

The lights flicker and fade out as the pulsating beats of Dope Star Inc's "10000 Watts of Artificial Pleasure" pops on the PA system. Smoke fills the arena as a figure stands in the middle of it. All the sudden, Crazy Boy comes out of the smoke and pumps a fist in the air. He walks down the entryway and climbs the ropes of the ring. He bounces around the ropes a few times, pumps his fist in the air one last time and waits for his opponent to come.

Sasha Greene: "And her opponent, from Biloxi, Mississippi: TYRONE 'CRAZY BOY' SMITH!!"

Singles Match

Raven Hex vs Tyrone "Crazy Boy" Smith

Referee: Tyrone Little Jr.

Suddenly, before the match can even begin, the lights in the arena start going out. Slowly but inexorably, section by section, the lights shut down with the audible CHOOM of a breaker switch being flipped, getting increasingly faster as the darkness bleeds from the cheap seats in a wave, all the way around the arena, finally getting to the Tron, which shuts off with a final CHOOM. The arena stews in pitch black for a few moments, with no power to anything, and then in the darkness, the Tron comes back to life, with the only illumination in the dark abyss of the screen as white text swims out of the black, reading "There was a HOLE here..." In the illumination only of the white text shining from the screen, both competitors can be seen looking around, from their knees, in confusion. The words stay up on the screen for a pregnant beat, the darkness stays put. The announcers are also looking on in confusion.

Jerry Andrews: There was a hole here?? What can this mean?

Ace Anderson: I don't know anything except that I can't see beans.

Finally, "There was a HOLE here..." ghosts off the screen, returning the arena to blackness, before the second part to the message again swims out of the black Tron screen, the white font shining in the darkness, "It's Gone Now." Then, with a MASSIVE boom of a switch being thrown, all of the lights in the arena come back on. And, standing in the ring, watching the two competitors who've are waiting their match, is a familiar figure, clad in a new, blue attire and leather jacket, his beard more pronounced than last we saw him, but his eyes, his body shape and his signature smirk all firmly in place.

Ace Anderson: IS THAT -

Jerry Andrews: IT'S KYLE SHANE!! IT'S KYLE SHANE!! IT'S KYLE SHANE!!

The resurgent Kyle Shane stands in the ring, looking more ready than we saw him in his last tenure, and he spins a leg out and crushes Raven Hex with a spinning back kick that drops her to a knee, bounces his foot a little in high octane adrenaline and steps up to plant his boot on the back of Hex' cranium and STOMP down, spiking her into the mat. Hex lays on the mat face down, not moving, but Kyle Shane is a whirlwind, turning to a rising Crazy Boy, lacing him with a snug headbutt that makes Crazy Boy fall back spaghetti legged and then Kyle reaches in, clamps him tight in a single underhook and then absolutely destroys him with a single underhook DDT. The crowd is on their feet, and Kyle steps over the bodies of the two competitors he just vanquished, clenching his teeth and his chest tight as he pushes into the ropes in aggression and renewed passion. There was a hole there, but it is indeed gone now. Kyle slowly turns towards the hard camera, extends his hand out very slowly into a pantomime of an extended finger pistol, and drops his thumb to pull the trigger, mouthing "Bang" as he stares down it's barrel.

Jerry Andrews: The crowd has become ELECTRIC for the return of Kyle Shane, we haven't seen him in months!!

Ace Anderson: Where had he gone all this time? Why did he come back now??

Jerry Andrews: I doubt we'll get answers tonight, but this is a huge return, and a hell of a way to start the road to the Icemann Invitational Tournament.

A camera pans around exhibits of mannequin PCW superstars in habitats true to their gimmicks. The focus eventually leads to Jason Willard looking at one in the far reaches of the room. The superstar is inside of a cage.

"Hi Rick! How are you holding up? Oh, dear. You're on a timeout! Well, hopefully you'll change your behavior in the future. After all, Mommy says we make mistakes in order to learn from them!"

He quickly shifts to picking up his gold toy out of the red wagon he has next to him. "Look at what I've got!!" Willard squeals delightfully.

He shows off the Underground title.

"I'm a champion again! See?? I knew I could do it!! Just like I know I can retain in my first defense tonight!"

Willard sits down next to his wagon and begins humming to himself. He waves to the photo of his mother he has standing up inside. "Yes, Mommy. I was just about to do that."

He pulls something out of a brown paper bag. It looks to be a small piece of pie.

"Mommy told me to eat something before my match later. She said it's not good to compete on an empty stomach."

He begins eating.

"This is really good. But my favorite kind of pie is hers!" He winks at the photo and then finishes the dessert.

"Well, I better go. There's still other exhibits to see. Just remember what I said about being on your very best behavior and if nothing else, take my advice: Everybody hurts sometimes. Toodaloo!"

Willard picks himself up and pulls the wagon behind him as he moves about the room. He comes to a stop at the High Tide exhibit which has a very Pirates of the Caribbean feel to it. There's a button he pushes for a narrator to speak about the superstar. While listening, Willard hums a shanty and rocks back and forth.

We then head back to the ring, where the competitors for our next match are all ready to go.

Tag Team Match

Grimm & Brenna Gordon vs Pandaemonium [Gerard Angelo & David Hunter]

Referee: Eric Russo

The bell rings and David Hunter catches Grimm off guard, hitting him in the face with a hard right uppercut.

Ace Anderson: Hunter is wasting no time right here, taking it right to Grimm here in the early going.

Jerry Andrews: David Hunter has no respect for his opponents at all.

Ace Anderson: I know, isn’t it great?

Hunter starts pummeling Grimm in the corner. Brenna Gordon rushes into the ring, but the official stops her. That gives Gerard Angelo a chance to choke Grimm from the outside while Hunter hits him with several stomps.

Jerry Andrews: Even without Holden Ross at ringside with them, they still manage to cheat!

Ace Anderson: It’s incredible!

Jerry Andrews: Of course, Holden Ross isn’t here tonight since he was not cleared to participate following Mass Destruction.

Ace Anderson: And Brenna Gordon should be ashamed of herself for what she did that night!

Jerry Andrews: And David Hunter shouldn’t be?

Ace Anderson: Now you’re getting it.

The referee turns back and sees the double team. He tries to pull David Hunter off of Grimm. Hunter gives the official the finger and goes right back to kicking his opponent in the stomach. Hunter pulls Grimm up now, setting him up with his back against the corner. He looks for a big right hand, but Grimm hits him with a big knee.

Jerry Andrews: Man that will knock the breath right out of your body, and now Grimm on the offensive here.

Grimm tees off with a couple big right hands, tosses Hunter into the ropes and looks for a big boot, but the Hunter ducks it. He bounces off the opposite ropes and looks for a flying clothesline.

Jerry Andrews: Now the high velocity, OH! LOOK OUT NOW!

Ace Anderson: Got him! Oh no!

Grimm avoids the clothesline and grabs Hunter by the throat. Grimm slams Hunter down to the mat and starts raining down shots with the point of his left elbow. David tries to defend himself and rolls into the ropes. He gets up, but Grimm is right there and scores with a sidewalk slam.

Jerry Andrews: And here's the first cover of the matchup...

1... 2... NO!

Jerry Andrews: But Grimm can only get two! Here we go letting Brenna Gordon come in! This is gonna be good!

Ace Anderson: She should be fired after how she attacked poor, innocent Holden Ross.

Jerry Andrews: Okay, now you’re going too far.

Brenna takes the tag from Grimm and gives the prone Hunter a hard kick. She then heaves him up and hits with a jab, jab, cross combination. David takes the blows square on the jaw and leans heavily against the ropes. Gordon runs the ropes, but Gerard Angelo pulls him down, sending her out of the ring as she hits them!

Jerry Andrews: RIGHT OVER THE TOP!

Ace Anderson: Serves her right!

Jerry Andrews: These two are unreal.

Ace Anderson: It's called STRATEGY, Jerry. They know how to get things done.

Gordon is woozy from propelling herself over the top rope, and the feeling in her head is not aided when, after taking the tag from David, Gerard Angelo hits Gordon with a double axe handle shot from the apron. Brenna is splattered across the ground. Angelo cheerfully picks her up, before sending her into the steel ringsteps. Grimm makes his way around the ring as Angelo is slamming Gordon's face into the security barrier. Before Grimm can do anything, Angelo rolls his opponent's broken body into the ring and gets a cover.

Jerry Andrews: And after that brutality, that should be all. 1... 2... No!

Ace Anderson: Actually, I saw it clearly and it was three.

Jerry Andrews: *Audible sigh*

Angelo pulls Brenna up, but Gordon catches him off guard, scoring with a jawbreaker following it up with Crash the Shore! Brenna goes for the cover:

1…
2….

Ace Anderson: Gerard Angelo breaks up the pin!

Jerry Andrews: And now Grimm’s in!

The situation degrades and we have all four competitors in the ring. Finally, the official manages to sort things out and we’re back to David Hunter and Brenna Gordon. Hunter gets Gordon with a Hunter Suite and he covers now:
1….
2….

Jerry Andrews: Gordon kicks out!

David Hunter is up and he tags in Angelo. The two double team Gordon, causing Grimm to head back in the ring. Hunter gets in his face and the two start unloading punches. Meanwhile, Angelo throws Brenna through the ropes to the outside. He then attacks Grimm from behind. The referee forces Grimm and Hunter out of the ring. Angelo turns his attention back to Brenna, who is getting to her feet on the outside!

Jerry Andrews: A suicide dive by Gerard Angelo! BUT NOBODY HOME!

Ace Anderson: OUCH!

Angelo hits the ringside barrier head first! Brenna immediately capitalizes, rolling her downed opponent into the ring. She goes for a cover:

1….
2…..

Ace Anderson: Somehow he kicks out!

Gordon stands up and she waits for her opponent to do the same. When he does, Gordon NAILS Angelo with a knee to the midsection!!

Brenna Gordon grips Gerard Angelo cinched up in a front face lock. Gordon floats around in a standing switch, and has Angelo locked in a waistlock. Angelo looks for a way out, finding none, Gordon pops her hips and throws Angelo with a BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!!

Jerry Andrews: Nice move!

Gordon grabs Gerard by the sides of his head, pulling him to his feet. Gordon smokes Angelo with a big uppercut, sending him down to the mat. Gordon now drops a couple of knee shots into the midsection of her opponent. Gordon now tags in Grimm. Grimm climbs into the ring and as Angelo starts crawling toward his corner. Grimm pulls him back into the center of the ring.

Jerry Andrews: Smart move by Grimm.

Grimm pulls Angelo up and he hits him with a DDT. He then throws him into the corner and delivers several strong right hands to the midsection, before tagging Brenna back into the match.

Jerry Andrews: Grimm and Brenna Gordon are surprisingly working very well here right now . .

Ace Anderson: For now…

Jerry Andrews: What’s that supposed to mean?

Brenna Gordon enters and she immediately hits a big German suplex! Gordon goes for a cover, the ref counts . . 1 . . 2. . Angelo kicks out! Gordon pulls him up, and Angelo hits her with a superkick right to the jaw!

Ace Anderson: One Hit Wonder!!

Angelo drags Gordon over to his corner and he tags in David Hunter, who steps into the ring and strikes Gordon in the face with a big forearm. He throws her back into the corner and unloads on her with several stomps. Hunter now walks over and starts to taunt Grimm, which also distracts the official, allowing Gerard Angelo to choke Gordon with the tag rope.

Jerry Andrews: Oh come on!

Ace Anderson: Hahaha!

Jerry Andrews: It may have worked, but I don’t know how smart it is to taunt Grimm!

Hunter turns around as Gordon is down on the mat, struggling to get to her feet. When she does, he runs at her and hits Ode to Frank! He then goes for a cover:
1….
2….

Jerry Andrews: Kickout by Brenna Gordon!

David Hunter starts to unload on Brenna Gordon with several strong strikes to the face. He then cinches a headlock on her, trying to wear her down. After a few moments of that hold, he then floats over, hitting a big belly to back suplex, before going for another cover:
1…
2…

Jerry Andews: Gordon kicks out again!

David Hunter walks to his corner and tags in Gerard Angelo. Angelo comes in and begins to stomp at Gordon recklessly. He hauls her back to her feet, then throws her into the ropes, Gordon bounces off, and Angelo hits a Running Busaiku Knee Kick!!

Jerry Andrews: Headhunter!

Angelo goes for the cover:

1…
2…

Jerry Andrews: Gordon kicks out once more!

Gerard Angelo pulls Gordon up, but she surprises him with a knee lift into a spinning leg sweep! She then starts to make her way over to her corner…. but David Hunter is in to stop her! Grimm rushes in to even the odds!

Jerry Andrews: Oh come on! Brenna was so close to making the tag!

Ace Anderson: And yet she did not.

Jerry Andrews: Because David Hunter stopped her!

The referee manages to get Hunter and Grimm out of the ring. Angelo pulls Gordon up again… but she shoves him back and leaps up!

Jerry Andrews: Slip The Skin!!! And NOW she makes the tag!

Grimm rushes into the ring, exploding on Angelo as he gets to his feet. He backs Gerard up into the corner, then delivers several strong strikes. David Hunter tries to enter to break this up, but Brenna Gordon returns, running at him and hitting a flying clothesline that sends both competitors over the ropes and to the outside!

Jerry Andrews: WOAH!

Meanwhile, Grimm sets Angelo up… THE HARVEST!!

1….
2….
3!!!

Jerry Andrews: Grimm and Gordon win! What a match! We’ll be right back, folks!

Jerry Andrews: Ladies and gentlemen, we are back, but before we get to our main event, we have HUGE NEWS about the upcoming Icemann Invitational Tournament!

Ace Anderson: That's right, as usual, the tournament will conclude at Living a Legacy, which takes place this year on Sunday May 10th, but the big news is that the brackets will be announced LIVE on the next episode of Trauma!

Jerry Andrews: You won't want to miss that!

"I'm crossing out names
And no one is safe
I'll leave a rose on your grave
It's the dove and grenade
Compare me to none
Compare me to none
Compare me to none
I got the heart of a champion"

THE 2020 ICEMANN INVITATIONAL TOURNAMENT: COMING SOON

Jerry Andrews: Well our next match is certainly going to be interesting. Jason Willard has the ring enclosed by a castle bounce house.

Ace Anderson: Those things are fun! Something the Underground isn't.

Jerry Andrews: With that being said, High Tide sent a message at Mass Destruction to not only Rick Majors, but he put Willard and really, the rest of PCW on notice as well.

Ace Anderson: Do you think his ship is wobbling a little off course lately?

Sasha Greene is shown through the protective netting as cameras capture a wide view of the colorful walls around the ring. There's even a vinyl slide toward the aisle!

Sasha Greene: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the PCW Underground title! Introducing first. From Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He weighs 195 lbs, HIGH TIDE!

"You Are A Pirate" by Alestorm hits. With very little lighting and effects that simulate lightning, High Tide (in a pirate outfit) walks down the ramp slightly crouched over, as if he was sitting. He holds a large pirate flag in one hand, and in the other he is imitating steering a ship. He does this until he gets to the ring where he motions dropping and anchor and proceeds to hop on to the turnbuckle and dive headfirst over the ropes, rolling into a standing position. Then he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and pulls out a spyglass, looking around at the audience. He mimics loading a cannon and as he motions firing it, he jumps off the turnbuckle into the ring (to imitate recoil) as fireworks shoot from all four turnbuckles.

Sasha Greene: And his opponent!

The lush, dreamlike carnival sound of "Carousel" by Siouxsie and the Banshees takes over the sound system as the dim arena is turned cotton candy colorful by falling blue, pink and purple LED light-up balloons.

Sasha Greene: From Anaheim, California...weighing 250 lbs, he is the PCW Underground Champion, JASON WILLARD!

While Siouxsie Sioux delivers eerie descriptions about a child's view of the carnival and the titular ride over a pulsing synth line, the childlike Willard walks to the ring pulling a red wagon behind him with his title and a framed photo of his mother inside. He's also pulling a toy box with his other hand.

There's a moment where he stops to reach out to the hands of the jeering faithful, but recoils, foolishly thinking they could be trusted or want to be friends. He flips the photo around and angrily informs them that "Mommy doesn't like strangers!"

Willard can't resist being excited by the sight of the castle and is all too eager to dash past the velcro and get inside to do some serious bouncing. High Tide promptly greets him at the point of attack as this match is underway.

PCW Underground Championship Match

Underground Rules

Jason Willard (PCW Underground 👑) vs High Tide

Referee: Ed Lane

DING!
DING!
DING!

Tide is without the advantages of height or weight, so he has to use his speed to keep the larger champion grounded. Willard is battered rather aggressively until High Tide has him nearly dropped. Then he starts to work in some boots. Willard is sent to the ropes and met with a jarring dropkick that puts him between the ropes and netting. High Tide uses this as a way to fire dropkick after dropkick. Tide pulls on the neck of Willard as it throttles the top rope.

Willard uses the space between the top and middle to deliver some swift body shots to the midsection, causing High Tide to relinquish and back-off. Willard steps inside of the ring and is caught in a snap suplex. High Tide attempts to run Willard into one of the inflated pillars adjacent to the ring post, but is countered and sent head first into it himself. The compression pushes him backwards into a release German suplex.

Willard picks his spot and then blasts Tide with a sliding clothesline that has a whiplash effect to the pirate's head. "Mommy told me about eye for an eye!" Willard aggressively beats on High Tide until he realizes the scope of it, then it's almost like guilt kicks in. Willard sits up and expresses regret for the attack. He looks towards the referee for comfort in seeing if High Tide is ok. Willard gets up and pokes his head out through the velcro entrance so he can better see his mother's photo.

Jerry Andrews: He's talking to Lucy like she is here to guide him! What on earth is happening??

Ace Anderson: This could be a mistake. High Tide is recovering behind him.

"I didn't mean to hurt him, Mommy, he just made me so mad!!" Willard says as he sits on the slide. Tide's reflection is noticed in the glass and it allows Willard a chance to roll backwards with a swift kick to the head, knocking the pirate back through the velcro entrance. "Thanks for helping me, Mommy! I love you!" Willard kisses the photo and puts it somewhere safe (but still in his sight) before going after Tide.

CRACK!

High Tide drills him in the head with his spyglass. But he continues to assault him with it as if he is snapping. Tide runs Willard to the ring post without regard. Willard isn't given a breather, instead his face is raked across the netting that provides a window to the faithful. Not much damage can be incurred, but Tide is moving him so fast that it could work up a good burn.

Willard bops him with a swift elbow to the temple and then a pump knee just under the chin to stand him straight. Willard runs Tide to one of the pillars as hard as he can. Bouncing off of it puts him in the grasp of another release German before he dumps him back inside. He then pulls out a View- Master and uses them as binoculars while also flipping through a reel of endangered animals.

Willard feels sad about the depletion of wildlife and this leads him to pulling out a box of Zoobooks to cheer up with. The box is taken inside. Willard is hit with a springboard stunner for his troubles. Unfortunately for High Tide, it only puts him down to a knee. A clothesline with a chair changes those fortunes. High Tide likes the sound of steel hitting flesh, so he brutalizes Willard in a deranged frenzy with it.

Jerry Andrews: Willard has not done himself any favors by being easily distracted. High Tide is on top of his game in a way that makes me concerned about his mental health.

As Willard cries out for his mommy while writhing in pain, High Tide takes it upon himself to rip apart the Zoobooks. The scattering of pages is dumped over Willard and then High Tide immediately goes for a springboard moonsault. But he finds a pair of knees instead. Willard fights through the pain of being assaulted by numerous chair shots in order to get to his feet. High Tide is levelled with a shot between the eyes with the View-Master, putting immediate cracks in the toy.

Ace Anderson: That'll make High Tide see things in more than just double.

Willard sets the object down so he can snap DDT Tide right on top of it. "Mommy says that whenever we make a mess, we should clean it up." Willard follows the lesson by removing the View-Master debris from the ring while Tide is down. Willard glares at the faithful through the netting. Both men have received nothing but jeers and that isn't about to change. It also doesn't deter the Underground champion from waving at them like they're on friendly terms.

As Tide starts picking himself up, Willard hits a running European uppercut, sending Tide tumbling out of the ring. Willard is a little slow to join him as the effects of the chair assault continue to linger. High Tide is suplexed onto the bouncy slide, leading him to roll onto the aisle floor. Willard smiles and scoots down the slide like it had water rushing down before picking himself up.

High Tide blasts him in the face with the title belt and then hits a curb stomp onto the lid of the toy box. Willard is rolled onto the box. High Tide steps onto the railing after he pushes some fans out of their seats, causing them to spill their food and drink. His moonsault connects! Willard curls into a ball after slithering to the floor. High Tide is unable to get the toy box unlocked, but he does pick it up for a weapon. Willard is crushed underneath.

Jerry Andrews: High Tide is coming apart at the seams each time he's on offense.

Ace Anderson: Willard debuted his toy box at Mass Destruction. I'll bet he wish he hadn't now.

Jerry Andrews (snickers): I still can't get over him actually having one.

Ace Anderson: That's because you didn't have any toys to play with, only yourself.

Willard takes a headbutt, but having a power advantage allows him to negate it with a sudden discus clothesline. Tide is spun in the air from it. Willard attempts to punt kick Tide, but the swift pirate moves out of the way and gives Willard the Charlie Brown treatment in the process. Double stomp off the barricade! High Tide decides to provoke front row fans with an outburst that causes security to come over.

Willard tosses High Tide into everyone! A jump rope is retrieved from the toy box now. High Tide is lassoed and ripped right back over the rail. Willard starts to sing The Farmer in the Dell as High Tide is drug up to the stage. Willard jumps on High Tide with a Trampoline Stomp before unraveling the challenger.

Jerry Andrews: He's using the jump rope as a whip!

High Tide tries to protect himself, but Willard is unrelenting in his childlike impression of a cowboy in the wild west. High Tide is hogtied with the jump rope. Willard takes them UP THE TRON! Only then does he untie him. Willard snaps his fingers as a cue for the stage to lower and reemerge as a BALL PIT! Willard claps with glee despite the height they're at. High Tide is maneuvered upside down.

Jerry Andrews: Oh my god!!

Ace Anderson: He just tombstoned him into the ball pit!

And Willard did so saying "whee!" all the way down. The ball pit is deep enough for both men to disappear inside of once the jump lands them inside. A smattering of applause and holy shit chants break. Referees and officials jump inside and carefully wade through in an effort to find Tide and Willard. They eventually do and manage to help them out of there. Willard is suddenly hit from behind by Wasp and Trouble Lewitt! They double team him on the stage with tandem offense and no regard for the officials who are powerless to stop it.

High Tide staggers around the ramp but eventually realizes what's going on. With Willard held up, he hits a diving spear THROUGH the stage wall! Sparks fly everywhere as Willard is driven into electrical equipment. High Tide is helped out of the debris by his cohorts, who also are forced to deal with the PCW officials still on scene. The trio pull Willard out and start moving back towards the ring with him. That's when High Tide waves them off, insisting that he can take it from there. Wasp and Lewitt leave through the crowd.

High Tide sneaks in a few swallows of rum from a small flask he had hidden. The tombstone landing is still messing him up physically, but at least he has the upper hand. Willard is taken back into the ring and pinned right in the center.

1!

2!

Buckle my shoe---KICK OUT!

High Tide challenges the count. The referee is aggressively pulled by the collar and berated. This then becomes a shove over Willard, who has set himself onto his hands and knees for such an occasion. High Tide is suddenly plucked in a fireman's carry and delivered with a cartwheel death valley driver.

Ace Anderson: The Happiest Place on Earth!

Willard collapses back down afterwards and engages in conversation as he hears his mother's voice inside his head. "I'm okay, Mommy! I'm okay! Yes, you can make sure when I get home." Willard sits up and looks towards High Tide. "It isn't nice to bully someone!" His follow-up is innocuous. "I thought we could be friends, but Mommy is all I need!" Now he stands and looks off to the side. "You can't have my gold toy, pirate, it's MINE! My mommy got it for me!"

Jerry Andrews: Willard is a few pieces short of a complete puzzle.

Willard picks Tide up and sends him crashing into a corner front first. Bedtime Story on the rebound! Willard rolls himself onto the apron. He picks the moment to go for Starlight, Starbright, but falls into Yo Ho Blow at the moment of impact with Tide using his spyglass for a weapon. Both men are down and have each other pinned.

1!

2!

3---KICK OUT

Willard manages to drag himself down the slide and out to his toy box, leaving High Tide to recover inside the ring. It takes him longer than he'd like to open it, but once he does, he pulls out a vintage jack-in-the-box. The paint is a bit worn and faded, but the circus details can still be made out. Willard refuses to return to the ring until he sees his mother's photo again. He shows his toy to her like he's asking for permission to play with it. "I'll be safe with it! I promise!"

Willard gingerly goes back into the ring. High Tide dropkicks him on the spot. Willard falls into a seated position and is hunched over his toy. The pirate digs deep for an extra push to get him across the finish line. High Tide waits for Willard to get up and pays little attention to him turning the crank which plays "Pop Goes The Weasel" as its song. The music stops as Willard lets go and starts moving closer to danger. High Tide runs the ropes, unaware that Willard has the jack-in-the-box aimed at him. As he runs in for Lay With The Fish, Willard turns the crank again and out comes the springy clown to launch a wall of fire at High Tide!

Ace Anderson: What in the hell?!

Jerry Andrews: I don't think that hit him, but Holy Jesus jumping Christmas shit was that ever a surprise!

High Tide checks himself over for any signs of being singed. The moment he knows he dodged one and looks up is the moment Willard hits him with Little Boy Blue and a pin right after.

1!

2!

3!

With the bell being called for and Willard hearing "Carousel" again, he knows the hard fought match is over and that he got far more than he bargained for in his first defense.

Sasha Greene: Here is your winner and STILL PCW Underground Champion, Jason Willard!

Willard gets to his feet and goes to find the nearest camera. "I won, Mommy! I won! I won! I won!" He starts to bounce up and down around the ring, but finds the task a bit difficult given what he just went through. Willard waves buh-bye to High Tide and leaves to go retrieve his mother's photo so it can be put back in his wagon with the Underground title. The modified toy gets put back in the box. He then starts his trip to the back with the items.

Jerry Andrews: Do you think his mommy will take him to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate?

Ace Anderson: I think she'll take him...if you know what I mean.

Jerry Andrews: That's sick, you know?! That's really sick.

Ace Anderson (ignoring him): So why did you take it that way?

Jerry Andrews: High Tide gave Jason Willard all he could handle tonight, but---hey, what is he doing? WAIT! What are they doing!

High Tide has finally snapped. There were moments he flashed it during his match, but poor Ed Lane is getting the Rick Majors treatment from High Tide, Wasp and Arica "Trouble" Lewitt! Tide levels Ed over and over with steel chair shots up and down his body. Wasp fetches a chair of his own to do the same, as does Lewitt. Boos come down on them for their despicable actions. The last thing the broadcast airs is Ed Lane getting crunched between the steel steps!

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