Wrestlers with Scars Getting Coffee

[Rick Majors]

“We want to do a lot of stuff. We’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.” -- Jerry Seinfeld

Grimm invited him out for coffee.

Yes, Grimm. The Hangtown Horror. The Lord of Misrule. The closest thing PCW has to a conscience. The man who once nearly killed him in the ring. That Grimm. He invited him out for coffee.

Rick Majors was leaving the arena after Trauma and he saw Grimm in the parking lot. Well, more accurately, Grimm was waiting for him. Majors immediately got defensive (and a little scared) because, well, it was Grimm in a dimly lit parking lot, but it also because of what he went through with Holden Ross earlier that evening.

Grimm knew that they’d be tagging up on Trauma 272. How did he know that? I guess when you’ve been in PCW for a million years they tell you stuff. Since they were going to be partners, he said, it made sense for them to sit down and discuss strategy. Pandæmonium needs to be stopped, he said, so they should be on the same page. They needed a place to talk, he said, so they should go out for coffee.

Rick Majors froze.

Grimm wouldn’t murder him in a coffee shop, right? No, there would be too many people there. If he walked in carrying a shovel, people would stare. They'd try to stop the beheading. It would be difficult and messy.

So, having run through every scenario he could think of through his head all at once, Rick Majors agreed. Now he was going to meet Phinehas Grimm at Methodical Coffee. What a name. It fits Grimm perfectly. It's too bad there's no Anxious and Weary Coffee that Rick Majors can call home.

What does Phinehas Grimm order at a coffee shop anyway? Probably black coffee. Or maybe he’s a tea drinker. Tea is the kind of thing that you can sit with for hours and contemplate life over. Maybe that’s how he came up with all of those cool ways to hurt people. No, he probably doesn’t drink tea. Kentucky probably doesn’t even have tea. So what does he drink? The souls of his victims? The blood of his enemies? Water?

This was going to be a very confusing meeting. Rick Majors was already filled with anxiety thinking about it. Should he show up right on time or a couple minutes late? In one sense, he didn’t want to keep Grimm waiting, who would? But on the other hand he doesn’t want to seem too eager.

What does he order? Coffee, right? Yeah. But what if Grimm orders water? Will he judge the coffee? And will the coffee make him even more anxious and jittery than he already is? Water it is then… no… because if Grimm orders anything but water, it’s going to look weird to just have water. And if Grimm orders water and he orders water, the people who run the coffee shop are going to hate them. Does this place serve food? Is he expected to eat? Probably not. It’s a strategy meeting, not brunch. What do you wear to something like this….?

Oh God, shut your brain off, Rick. This is a meeting, not a date. A meeting with a terrifying man who you once begged to murder you. That’s all it is.

What are they going to talk about? "So, I'm a broken down old man who can't seem to stop wrestling and you're a living symbol of terror who wants to rip Gerard Angelo in half. Have you seen any good movies lately?"

He should probably let Grimm direct the conversation. But... what does Grimm want from this meeting? It can’t be just strategy talk. It’s doubtful that Grimm goes out for coffee with everyone he tags with. Does he want to make sure that Majors can be trusted? No. Grimm knows that Rick wouldn’t turn on him, not after what he’s been through with Holden Ross. Grimm has to trust him at least that much, right?

So… then what does he want? Is he looking to make sure Rick isn’t too injured? He just watched Holden Ross throw him around the arena on Trauma, of course he’s injured. But Grimm should know Rick well enough to know that doesn’t matter. No matter how much his back and he neck and his knee hurt right now, he’s going to be there on Trauma. Grimm should know that he's going to be there and he's going to fight.

What if the barista gives Grimm a cup and they write “Grime” on it instead? Is it okay to laugh?

Rick Majors knows he can’t sit around worrying about this stuff. He should be focusing on the match. Holden Ross and Gerard Angelo are dangerous men and, to be honest, he can’t say for sure that David Hunter won’t pop up somewhere. Pretending to be injured only to show up later and maim someone sounds like exactly something Pandæmonium would do. And Rick Majors definitely looks like a maim-worthy target.

Maybe he’ll skip the meeting, tell Grimm he wasn’t feeling well, and hope for the best.

No. He can’t do that. He has to look at this like an opportunity. Grimm is a PCW institution. The two of them have known one another for a long time, but Rick Majors has never been able to sit down and pick his brain. That could be fascinating. This could be a chance to learn a lot. Grimm’s probably actually picked someone’s brain, right? Like went in with an ice pick just to see what’s going on in there?

Focus! This doesn’t have to be scary. You’re an old man meeting someone for coffee. Relax. It’s going to be fine. Just get up and go. Try not to limp too much. It makes people uncomfortable. Don't be late. Or too early. What should you wear to something like this?