Grimm's Diner

[Rick Majors]

With apologies to Suzanne Vega

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doodoo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, duhdoodoo

I am sitting in a diner
And I’m waiting for my coffee
I am thinking of the last time
That I went out for a drink

I was with the Hangtown Horror
And he ordered something bitter
I was worried that he’d kill me
But instead we both just talked

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doodoo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, duhdoodoo

“So we have to stop those new guys"
Said the man with the big red beard
And we bonded over coffee
It was nice to talk to someone

And I look the other way
As he sips his gross brown sludge drink
I am trying not to worry
So instead I pour the milk

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doodoo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, duhdoodoo

Sitting right here all alone now
It is weird to say I miss him
I just liked to talk with someone
Now he wants to take my belt

And I'm worried about losing
I only won it last month
And I'm feeling somewhat proud of it
He will take it all from me

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doodoo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, duhdoodoo

There’s a voice inside my head now
Telling me it’s just not worth it
No, I stand no chance against him
'Cause he always hurts me badly

And I'm trying not to cry now
Because he will win the belt
And while I’m moping here alone now
The server brings my drink

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doodoo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, duhdoodoo

Oh, these losses will continue through my career
As I'm dreading this match and losing my title

I am thinking of your voice

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doodoo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, duhdoodoo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doodoo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, duhdoodoo

____________________

Rick Majors wasn’t a loner in high school. He didn’t each lunch inside a washroom stall. He didn’t spend his nights angrily scrawling names of the popular kids into a journal then violently scratching them out. He didn’t get mocked and taunted as he walked through the halls.

But he wasn’t popular either.

Rick Majors had friends, but he didn’t have a best friend. He didn’t even have a friend he could count on. They were all more like acquaintances. He floated from group to group, talking to whoever would have him for as long as they would sit there. Then he’d watch them get up, join their “real friends” and leave him alone.

His social life ended with the bell at 3 o’clock.

Other kids went on dates and adventures. They attended parties and planned groupd camping trips and tried drugs together. He said bye to the kids in his class on Friday afternoon and didn’t speak to any of them again until Monday.

It’s not that they didn’t like him, it’s that they didn’t like him enough to seek him out. He was fine to tell jokes with during classes or shoot the shit in the hallways, but that was it.

Then, one day, a girl he’d talked to quite often in class asked him to go out for lunch together. Immediately he’d assumed that she was hopelessly in love with him. But that wasn't why he was so excited. He was excited to experience friendship. Actual friendship. They'd be outside of the walls of the school, where they were forced to socialize with one another, and someone would still want to talk to him.

He still remembers that lunch to this day. They went to a nearby sandwich place. He had a chicken breast on a bun with lettuce and tomato. She had a grilled cheese. They both ordered coffee. They stayed long enough that each of them got a refill. 

The conversation was good. They both laughed a lot. He tried to be as entertaining as he could be, and it seemed like it worked. When they got back to school, he said they should do it again some time. She smiled and said sure.

They never did.

It wasn’t a date. It wasn’t anything other than two acquaintances having lunch. But it killed him when she never asked him to do it again. And he was too terrified to bring it up. So, it never happened.

It wasn’t the potential romantic undertones that he missed. Obviously, someone asking you to drive them to a sandwich place wasn’t a marriage proposal, but that’s not what bothered him. He could have lived her not being interested in him that way. What hurt him was that he’d now felt what it was like to have a friend. It felt good. And now it was over.

Things eventually changed for Rick Majors. A bit. He made friends, actual friends that he’d go out for drinks with and talk about life with and learn to trust. But he still lacked those friends that you can truly count on. The ones who will drive you to the airport on short notice or help you if you’re stranded on the side of the road.

What he lacked in friends you can count on, he more than made up in friends who try to break your neck or rip your knee in half. He had plenty of those. He feels the physical pain they inflicted every day. He carries the emotional pain for life.

Rick Majors still longed for how he’d felt that day, drinking coffees with that girl in eleventh grade. It was warm. It was close. It felt nice. He felt like he belonged. He felt like someone was actually interested in him as a person. He felt accepted. 

____________________

“We've both been around long enough to know what this is going to require of us.” said Grimm. Whatever our past...it's past.” 

"Now we need to work together.” 

____________________

It’s borderline insane that some people consider me to be one of the “old guard.” Don’t get me wrong, I know that I’m old. But there’s no way you can compare me to the other competitors in the “PCW Legends” category.

People like Stormm, Grimm, Loki, Jason Willard, and, of course, Grimm have won World Championships, they’ve represented the company internationally, they’ve been in countless main events. I followed up years of losing by getting my ass kicked in the Underground.

But yet, when people like Kyle Shane, Holden Ross, and Gerard Angelo talk about bringing in new blood, and younger guys getting opportunities, they’re certainly not talking about me.

I’m too old for the young guys and not successful enough for the old guys. I'm not turtley enough for the Turtle Club. There isn’t a place where I fit in. There’s no group that will have me.

And so, I trudge on alone.

That’s why the Genesis Title means something to me. I didn’t want this title. I would have happily stayed in the Underground forever. But that belt was taken from me. Everyone immediately assumed that the new title would go to someone like Grimm; someone who deserves it. I mean, why not? This is a man who has won seven World Titles, four International Titles, a Tag Title with his brother, two Deadly Rumbles, the Icemann Invitational Tournament, and more. He was named Wrestler of the Decade and he locked his brother inside a casket to win what would later be called the Match of the Decade. The Black Hand has been one of the most powerful and influential groups not just in wrestling, but in the history of the world.

I’m nowhere near his league.

And, yet, when all was said and done, I’m the man who walked out with the Genesis title. Somehow, I defeated Grimm and now I hold a championship that he has never possessed. You have to assume that somewhere in there, Grimm cares about things like that. Despite being an all-powerful and stoic force unlike anything the world has ever seen, there must be a part of him that wanted to make history and be the first one to hold the new Genesis Title.

Yet somehow the man was me.

Since I arrived to PCW, I’ve wanted to etch my name in the record books of this prestigious organization. I’ve wanted to make an impact, pardon the pun. I tried and failed for years, and those failures started to eat away at me. It got so bad that I once begged for Grimm to take my life. Why not? He's the one who threw me aside to win the first Deadly Rumble. He's the one who trounced Gabriel to claim the Icemann Invitational Tournament Trophy. He's snuffed out every glimpse of hope I've ever had. So why not snuff me out entirely?

But, despite all that, here we stand. It's an odd situation. It feels very unnatural. I am the champion and he is my challenger. He needed to defeat Holden Ross to get to me. We all assumed the Genesis division would be a line of competitors scratching and clawing for the right to be destroyed by Grimm. But that isn’t the case right now.

Not yet.

But it will be. Like any good movie monster, Grimm is back. In fact, he’s probably more like an action hero than a movie monster. Positioning him as the monster means I would be the good guy, and we all know that’s not the case. No, Grimm is the hero who, despite facing an army, wipes the blood from his eyes, throws out a sarcastic one-liner, and then guns everyone down with a machine gun you didn’t know he had.

Then what does that make me? I’m not the all-powerful army, that’s for sure. I'm more like a pesky gnat that won't go away. Grimm will need to squish me to get me to leave him alone. I don't know how to stop.

The reason I never had many friends, the reason I never fit in, the reason I rarely win, and the reason I live my live alone isn’t because the world is unfair. It isn’t because I haven’t been given my chances. It’s because of me.

We all like to pretend we’re the hero in our own stories. We naturally believe that we are the protagonist in life. And when we’re not treated like the main character we assume we are, when its someone else who wins the big one or gets the girl or achieves their dream, it doesn’t fit with our own perceptions. It shatters us a bit. Heroes are supposed to win.  

So, instead, we position ourselves as the underdog. It’s not that we failed to slay the dragon or save the princess or win the big game, it’s that we’re a different type of hero entirely. We’re the plucky little guy who manages to push through and live a happy life despite all the odds being against them. We’re loveable, we’re inspiring, and we’re going to end up on top one day as long as we try hard enough and just keep going.

It’s all a lie. It’s a trick our brains play on us to keep us from killing ourselves. Very few of us are heroes.

Grimm is definitely the main character in PCW lore. No matter what era, he is the one who leaves with his head held high. Sure, there are other heroes as well. This is an ensemble cast, after all. But if you have to pick one definite leader, it’s Grimm. This is his story and we’re the supporting cast. Me winning the Genesis title isn’t a case of the underdog finally winning the big one, it’s just one of the roadblocks our hero must face on his journey. And once he smashes through that roadblock, it's on to bigger and better things for him.

I’m not the hero. I’m not the villain. I’m a side quest. At best, I’m a part of the B story that keeps the hero occupied before he moves on. Grimm has been PCW World Champion more often than anyone and he will hold that title again one day. Him winning the Genesis Title isn’t the culmination of his story, it’s an added achievement to pad his resume and inspire a bit more awe.

But it means something to me. This is one of the very few accomplishments I have here. Yes, I was Underground King, but Gabriel held that title first. He tainted it. He also tainted the North American Championship. But the Genesis Title, that was something I won on my own. For a brief moment I got to feel like the star. And it felt good.

Now it’s over.

I guess he's an Xbox and I'm more Atari. And no one is sitting there waiting for Atari to come back and rule the video game world. He’s going to trample over me, and then he'll find a PlayStation to battle against for an actual challenge.

Congratulations to the new PCW Genesis Champion. I wonder if he’ll want to be my friend...