How do you solve a problem like Phinehas?
Aug 29, 2020 20:29:01 GMT -5
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Post by The Anarchist on Aug 29, 2020 20:29:01 GMT -5
"Destiny, I love you with all of my heart. But I'll be facing Grimm on the next Trauma."
Willard imagines himself being ripped to shreds by a pack of wolves and quickly re-thinks things.
"Destiny, you are so beautiful. You are my everything and I love you more than words can say. Management booked me against Grimm as a punishment. Did I say how much I love you?"
Now he pictures her running over him in the driveway, turning him into pavement pizza. Mmm pizza.
Willard cringes at the thought of impact and wonders if facing Grimm will actually hurt less than anything Destiny can do. His mind should be on what he's been doing to Stormm lately, but that's the equivalent of color bars after networks signed off for the night. At least in the analog era.
"What do you guys think? Should I tell her and get it over with or wait until she finds out on her own and brings it to my attention? I can act like I'm surprised that way!"
The bouquet of lilies was silent on the matter. Willard remained calm and patient in spite of their indifference to human problems. Why should they get involved? Once Destiny saw them, she'd be happy to make sure they were taken care of. Let him fend for himself. Even if he was the one to purchase them so they had a home.
"Destiny...I have something to tell you."
He couldn't continue from there. The steering wheel became a fresh victim. By "accident" or act of a make-believe "God", his hand just so happened to hit the damn horn. He had nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. The moment of truth would soon be upon him.
If only he would start his car and drive home. As it was he was still in the parking lot of the flower shop. There was that awkward moment he waved like an idiot to the few middle aged patrons who wondered what or who he was honking at.
What if he was horny? Would they want to know that? Melanie would eventually take a nap and her big sisters had their own ideas of how to spend a weekend. For all he knew, Destiny could be "in the mood" and just waiting for the right moment to present itself. As it was she needed him to go pick up a few things from the store.
Which he did. Which then meant a stop to the florist. Which now means having to return home and facing the music.
"Destiny..."
Willard's cell rings. It's her. The wife. His soulmate. The mother of his children. His better half. His proverbial executioner.
"Helllooo!"
"Nailed that Mrs. Doubtfire voice." He thinks to himself.
"Where am I? I'm at the store. Did you need something else?"
He secretly hoped she did. No dice. Crap.
"Are you sure? Prices are pretty good and thankfully it isn't too busy..."
"Well if you or the girls don't need anything..."
"Ok, well I'll see you shortly. I love you too. Bye."
Call ended never looked so ominous. The wallpaper on his phone was a family photo. That made him smile.
"Destiny. These flowers are beautiful but don't compare to you. I love you so much. I've also learned that I'm facing Grimm. Please go easy on me. We have children to raise."
He starts the car. The radio comes to life. A Perfect Circle. A reminder of past Grimm. The station gets changed. Taylor Swift. His twins loved her. That was good enough for him!
Willard arrives home singing the opening verses of Wannabe by Spice Girls. He even goes so far as to do his super awesome Dad dance moves before turning everything off! He was now ready to go inside, armed with a few items and possibly girl power (aka his middle children), who at the moment were trying to find the right balance of humor after witnessing what they did.
"Really, Dad? Really?" Spouted Autumn with all of her fifteen-year old bravado.
"What? These? Your mom needed me to get her a few things. I asked if---"
Now the twins, always in sync it seemed, took their turn. "Those!" They pointed at the flowers, drawing his attention to them.
"That wasn't what I was talking about, buuut I know Mom didn't ask you for them."
Willard smiles.
"No, she didn't. But I wanted to do something nice for her."
The sisters look at each other as if a plan was coming together. Autumn, apparently the delegated spokesgirl, speaks up.
"Would you be interested in doing something nice for us?"
Willard's grin grows even more. They knew. Somehow they knew. They had to have known. Damn you, internet!
"If you want us to have your back, you gotta give us some greenbacks. We all know, but Mom doesn't." Autumn again.
"Not yet she doesn't." Now the twins in harmony.
"You don't have to go in alone. We can be united on this, Dad! We can be your strength."
It sounded like a pitch for a commercial. Willard was amused and happy to play along. Autumn throws an arm around his shoulders while Nancy and Lydia hug from opposite sides.
"Have we said how much we love you?"
Willard has a hearty laugh as he walks closer to the front door with his shield of daughters. But he stops just shy of actually going inside.
"Delete the video of me singing and you got a deal."
"Of course, Dad! I think that's a fair and reasonable request."
"I thought you might. Besides, I'm armed with photos of all three of you through the years. Just remember that." Willard says with a wink. He carefully rearranges his items, fetches his wallet and disperses the money like a human ATM.
"Thanks Daddy Warbucks!"
Autumn and her reference.
"Thanks Dad!"
Nancy and Lydia with a more formal response.
Three kisses from them on the cheek and departure in the opposite direction. With a quick wave and instructions to stay safe, he turns to face the now opened front door.
"Destiny! My beautiful wife!"
He sees his toddler taking some steps around. "Melanie! Come over to me, sweetheart!"
Destiny is handed the grocery bag first and then her surprise gift. Her eyes light up over them. After they kiss, Willard crouches down with his hands out as he continues to try and coax the baby over to him.
"Sooo. About Grimm."
Willard imagines himself being ripped to shreds by a pack of wolves and quickly re-thinks things.
"Destiny, you are so beautiful. You are my everything and I love you more than words can say. Management booked me against Grimm as a punishment. Did I say how much I love you?"
Now he pictures her running over him in the driveway, turning him into pavement pizza. Mmm pizza.
Willard cringes at the thought of impact and wonders if facing Grimm will actually hurt less than anything Destiny can do. His mind should be on what he's been doing to Stormm lately, but that's the equivalent of color bars after networks signed off for the night. At least in the analog era.
"What do you guys think? Should I tell her and get it over with or wait until she finds out on her own and brings it to my attention? I can act like I'm surprised that way!"
The bouquet of lilies was silent on the matter. Willard remained calm and patient in spite of their indifference to human problems. Why should they get involved? Once Destiny saw them, she'd be happy to make sure they were taken care of. Let him fend for himself. Even if he was the one to purchase them so they had a home.
"Destiny...I have something to tell you."
He couldn't continue from there. The steering wheel became a fresh victim. By "accident" or act of a make-believe "God", his hand just so happened to hit the damn horn. He had nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. The moment of truth would soon be upon him.
If only he would start his car and drive home. As it was he was still in the parking lot of the flower shop. There was that awkward moment he waved like an idiot to the few middle aged patrons who wondered what or who he was honking at.
What if he was horny? Would they want to know that? Melanie would eventually take a nap and her big sisters had their own ideas of how to spend a weekend. For all he knew, Destiny could be "in the mood" and just waiting for the right moment to present itself. As it was she needed him to go pick up a few things from the store.
Which he did. Which then meant a stop to the florist. Which now means having to return home and facing the music.
"Destiny..."
Willard's cell rings. It's her. The wife. His soulmate. The mother of his children. His better half. His proverbial executioner.
"Helllooo!"
"Nailed that Mrs. Doubtfire voice." He thinks to himself.
"Where am I? I'm at the store. Did you need something else?"
He secretly hoped she did. No dice. Crap.
"Are you sure? Prices are pretty good and thankfully it isn't too busy..."
"Well if you or the girls don't need anything..."
"Ok, well I'll see you shortly. I love you too. Bye."
Call ended never looked so ominous. The wallpaper on his phone was a family photo. That made him smile.
"Destiny. These flowers are beautiful but don't compare to you. I love you so much. I've also learned that I'm facing Grimm. Please go easy on me. We have children to raise."
He starts the car. The radio comes to life. A Perfect Circle. A reminder of past Grimm. The station gets changed. Taylor Swift. His twins loved her. That was good enough for him!
Willard arrives home singing the opening verses of Wannabe by Spice Girls. He even goes so far as to do his super awesome Dad dance moves before turning everything off! He was now ready to go inside, armed with a few items and possibly girl power (aka his middle children), who at the moment were trying to find the right balance of humor after witnessing what they did.
"Really, Dad? Really?" Spouted Autumn with all of her fifteen-year old bravado.
"What? These? Your mom needed me to get her a few things. I asked if---"
Now the twins, always in sync it seemed, took their turn. "Those!" They pointed at the flowers, drawing his attention to them.
"That wasn't what I was talking about, buuut I know Mom didn't ask you for them."
Willard smiles.
"No, she didn't. But I wanted to do something nice for her."
The sisters look at each other as if a plan was coming together. Autumn, apparently the delegated spokesgirl, speaks up.
"Would you be interested in doing something nice for us?"
Willard's grin grows even more. They knew. Somehow they knew. They had to have known. Damn you, internet!
"If you want us to have your back, you gotta give us some greenbacks. We all know, but Mom doesn't." Autumn again.
"Not yet she doesn't." Now the twins in harmony.
"You don't have to go in alone. We can be united on this, Dad! We can be your strength."
It sounded like a pitch for a commercial. Willard was amused and happy to play along. Autumn throws an arm around his shoulders while Nancy and Lydia hug from opposite sides.
"Have we said how much we love you?"
Willard has a hearty laugh as he walks closer to the front door with his shield of daughters. But he stops just shy of actually going inside.
"Delete the video of me singing and you got a deal."
"Of course, Dad! I think that's a fair and reasonable request."
"I thought you might. Besides, I'm armed with photos of all three of you through the years. Just remember that." Willard says with a wink. He carefully rearranges his items, fetches his wallet and disperses the money like a human ATM.
"Thanks Daddy Warbucks!"
Autumn and her reference.
"Thanks Dad!"
Nancy and Lydia with a more formal response.
Three kisses from them on the cheek and departure in the opposite direction. With a quick wave and instructions to stay safe, he turns to face the now opened front door.
"Destiny! My beautiful wife!"
He sees his toddler taking some steps around. "Melanie! Come over to me, sweetheart!"
Destiny is handed the grocery bag first and then her surprise gift. Her eyes light up over them. After they kiss, Willard crouches down with his hands out as he continues to try and coax the baby over to him.
"Sooo. About Grimm."