If you cut your own firewood, it’ll warm you twice
Sept 21, 2020 21:13:45 GMT -5
Loki and Alexa Black like this
Post by Texas Tim on Sept 21, 2020 21:13:45 GMT -5
Texas Tim rides past the barn - the barn - on a horse. It's a nice horse too, not one of them sad lookin' horses. You know the type, they're always lookin' down and out? This isn't one of those horses. It's certainly a real nice one. Texas Tim is a real Texan and a real cowboy. He knows his horses well. He knows his cows too, bein' a cowboy and all. I mean, what cowboy doesn't? But he doesn't ride cows. No sir. He knows them well enough to know that they ain't real good for ridin'. Horses are much better for that. Much better. Texas Tim knows that. Maybe he'd ride a cow if he was in a situation where he didn't have any horses nearby but he still needed to ride on an animal's back, but only in that particular situation. Or maybe some other situation he hasn't thought of yet. If he had a choice though, he'd pick a horse every time.
He pulls back on the reins and the animal slows down. It does exactly what he tells it to do. Of course it does. That's the sort of respect Texas Tim has 'round these parts.
"So me and Razor sure showed what we're made of, huh? Nobody gave us much of a chance to beat two guys like Kyle Shane and Tyrone Smith, but we darn sure did. And, let me tell ya what, I'm real happy about it. Real happy. That boy Razor, he's so strong you could hang out the washing on on him and he'd still show up for dinner on Sunday. I'm real proud to have been his partner, partner. He's a good guy in my book. Maybe one day we'll team up again.
But now we're movin' onto the Deadly Rumble and it's for sure every man for himself. And now, lemme tell ya, I know that I might look like I've been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on - and I have - but I'm gonna win that there Deadly Rumble or my name ain't Texas Tim. And my name is Texas Tim."
In the distance, a moo is heard. Texas Tim looks up. The mooing stops, just as he expected.
"Ya know, some of these guys here in PCW, they could talk the gate off its hinges, but that ain't me. I'm a real Texan. I don't got too much time for talkin', but I'm always ready for a fight. And, boy howdy, the Deadly Rumble sounds like a great time! Yeah, I've been in it before, but that was just me whistlin' up the wind. This year, I'm on a roll. Let me tell ya, If I felt any better, I’d drop my harp plumb through the cloud. And that's why this year I'm gonna win that Deadly Rumble and get myself a title shot.
Now I'd be lyin' if I said that I'm not as nervous as a fly in the glue pot. Some of these guys in this thing are faster than double-struck lightning and big enough to bear hunt with a branch. There's some tough dudes who are gonna be Deadly Rumblin'. But I'm a tough dude too.
Don't you dare count out ol' Texas Tim. There’s a big difference between the ox and the whiffletree, and believe me, I know it.
So everyone who's gonna be takin' part in this deadliest of rumbles, keep your saddle oiled and your gun greased. Because Texas Tim is comin'.
TEXAS FOREVER!"
Texas Tim tells the horse to go forward and of course it does. As it rides off, Tim tips his hat forward as if to say "This has certainly been a pleasure but I've got places to go and animals to control with a perfect mix of stern confidence and a calm demeanor." He then rides off into the warm Texas sun. He loves Texas and Texas loves him.
He pulls back on the reins and the animal slows down. It does exactly what he tells it to do. Of course it does. That's the sort of respect Texas Tim has 'round these parts.
"So me and Razor sure showed what we're made of, huh? Nobody gave us much of a chance to beat two guys like Kyle Shane and Tyrone Smith, but we darn sure did. And, let me tell ya what, I'm real happy about it. Real happy. That boy Razor, he's so strong you could hang out the washing on on him and he'd still show up for dinner on Sunday. I'm real proud to have been his partner, partner. He's a good guy in my book. Maybe one day we'll team up again.
But now we're movin' onto the Deadly Rumble and it's for sure every man for himself. And now, lemme tell ya, I know that I might look like I've been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on - and I have - but I'm gonna win that there Deadly Rumble or my name ain't Texas Tim. And my name is Texas Tim."
In the distance, a moo is heard. Texas Tim looks up. The mooing stops, just as he expected.
"Ya know, some of these guys here in PCW, they could talk the gate off its hinges, but that ain't me. I'm a real Texan. I don't got too much time for talkin', but I'm always ready for a fight. And, boy howdy, the Deadly Rumble sounds like a great time! Yeah, I've been in it before, but that was just me whistlin' up the wind. This year, I'm on a roll. Let me tell ya, If I felt any better, I’d drop my harp plumb through the cloud. And that's why this year I'm gonna win that Deadly Rumble and get myself a title shot.
Now I'd be lyin' if I said that I'm not as nervous as a fly in the glue pot. Some of these guys in this thing are faster than double-struck lightning and big enough to bear hunt with a branch. There's some tough dudes who are gonna be Deadly Rumblin'. But I'm a tough dude too.
Don't you dare count out ol' Texas Tim. There’s a big difference between the ox and the whiffletree, and believe me, I know it.
So everyone who's gonna be takin' part in this deadliest of rumbles, keep your saddle oiled and your gun greased. Because Texas Tim is comin'.
TEXAS FOREVER!"
Texas Tim tells the horse to go forward and of course it does. As it rides off, Tim tips his hat forward as if to say "This has certainly been a pleasure but I've got places to go and animals to control with a perfect mix of stern confidence and a calm demeanor." He then rides off into the warm Texas sun. He loves Texas and Texas loves him.
