Post by Texas Tim on May 2, 2021 17:54:25 GMT -5
There are no cows. This isn’t the time for cows. No horses either. Living a Legacy is coming up and Texas Tim needs to focus. He can’t allow himself to become distracted by livestock. Well, maybe a sheep just to get his mind right, but no larger animals.
No time.
Texas Tim stands outside his ranch house looking every bit the cowboy that he is. If you saw his cowboy hat in person, you would cry. It’s magnificent. A large Texas flag flies on an incredibly tall flagpole outside the ranch. It’s huge, because everything in Texas is huge. That saying isn’t made up. It’s true.
“Whooo whee! Living a Legacy! Pay Per View! Datgum that’s the big stage! And I’m as excited as a pig in slop, I’ll tell ya what. I’ve got myself a brand new opponent, someone I’ve never seen before. A man who goes by the name of Heathen Jones. You know, Jones, I don’t know you, but I have to admit, I’ve got a problem with you. It’s your name, son. ‘Heathen.’ Ya know, in Texas, we’re a God-fearin’ people. We love the Lord as much as we love barbecue and football, so we don’t take too kindly to no heathens. I’m all for respectin’ all types of people, but your name just don’t sit right with me. Now, your manager, he’s apparently from Texas, but I don’t know how a real Texan hangs around a man who claims to be from hell. Maybe he’s from Austin. All I’m sayin’ is I wouldn’t trust him any farther than I could throw him.
And I don’t trust you neither.
But look, I don’t want to preach to you, man. That ain’t why I’m here. I’m here to do the same thing I always do, and that’s win matches in PCW. Yessir, Mr. Jones, you may fancy yourself to be a scary fellow, but you’ve never been in the ring with ol’ Texas Tim. This ain’t my first rodeo, son. Nah, I’ve been through the ringer my fair share of times and I’ve always come out the other side. Sure’nuff, that’s a guarantee. I’ll give you the fight of your life at Living a Legacy. I mean, might as well. Can’t dance, never could sing, and it’s too wet to plow.
You can hang your hat on it, sir. Again, I’m not that familiar with your work and I don’t know what you know ‘bout mine, but I reckon that we’re both gonna be in for quite the battle. I’m tougher than shoe leather and brave enough to eat in a boomtown cafe, so don’t take this lightly. What I’m sayin’ is, you gone bit off more than you can chew. This one’s gonna be a barn burner, I’ll tell ya what.
By the time we’re done, you’ll be beggin’ for the Lord.
Lookin’ forward to it. Texas Forever.”
With that, Texas Tim tips his hat and walks away. In the distance, a sheep is heard saying “baa.”
No time.
Texas Tim stands outside his ranch house looking every bit the cowboy that he is. If you saw his cowboy hat in person, you would cry. It’s magnificent. A large Texas flag flies on an incredibly tall flagpole outside the ranch. It’s huge, because everything in Texas is huge. That saying isn’t made up. It’s true.
“Whooo whee! Living a Legacy! Pay Per View! Datgum that’s the big stage! And I’m as excited as a pig in slop, I’ll tell ya what. I’ve got myself a brand new opponent, someone I’ve never seen before. A man who goes by the name of Heathen Jones. You know, Jones, I don’t know you, but I have to admit, I’ve got a problem with you. It’s your name, son. ‘Heathen.’ Ya know, in Texas, we’re a God-fearin’ people. We love the Lord as much as we love barbecue and football, so we don’t take too kindly to no heathens. I’m all for respectin’ all types of people, but your name just don’t sit right with me. Now, your manager, he’s apparently from Texas, but I don’t know how a real Texan hangs around a man who claims to be from hell. Maybe he’s from Austin. All I’m sayin’ is I wouldn’t trust him any farther than I could throw him.
And I don’t trust you neither.
But look, I don’t want to preach to you, man. That ain’t why I’m here. I’m here to do the same thing I always do, and that’s win matches in PCW. Yessir, Mr. Jones, you may fancy yourself to be a scary fellow, but you’ve never been in the ring with ol’ Texas Tim. This ain’t my first rodeo, son. Nah, I’ve been through the ringer my fair share of times and I’ve always come out the other side. Sure’nuff, that’s a guarantee. I’ll give you the fight of your life at Living a Legacy. I mean, might as well. Can’t dance, never could sing, and it’s too wet to plow.
You can hang your hat on it, sir. Again, I’m not that familiar with your work and I don’t know what you know ‘bout mine, but I reckon that we’re both gonna be in for quite the battle. I’m tougher than shoe leather and brave enough to eat in a boomtown cafe, so don’t take this lightly. What I’m sayin’ is, you gone bit off more than you can chew. This one’s gonna be a barn burner, I’ll tell ya what.
By the time we’re done, you’ll be beggin’ for the Lord.
Lookin’ forward to it. Texas Forever.”
With that, Texas Tim tips his hat and walks away. In the distance, a sheep is heard saying “baa.”
