Post by Andy D on May 6, 2006 17:07:12 GMT -5
<* Great, just what I needed… more nonsense from the 2Guys. Well, it can’t be helped… Unfortunately. So what do we have lined up this week, well not that much different from any other, the 2Guys (fresh of getting their asses kicked) standing in front of the Generic Promotional Background getting ready to shoot their next promo. Personally I want to shoot them, but I’m just the narrator here. *>
Jackle: Hello, good evening and welcome to this, another 2Guys Promotional Video
Menace: Later on in the program we’ll be looking into the bomb explosion at Guantanamo Bay’s toilet block. Police and FBI investigators say that it’s the perfect crime as they have nothing to go on.
Jackle: Several concerns have been raised as since the explosion as several of the inmates have been seen going over the wall.
Menace: But first, Wrestling News.
Jackle: As usual, last week we lost our match
Menace: And this week we’ll lose again
Jackle: The difference? Well last week was a regular tag team match
Menace: That’s two people fighting two other people
Jackle: Where as this week will be a handicapped match
Menace: Which is two people fighting one other person
Jackle: And when it’s us who are the two people, we’re the ones with the handicap
Menace: So who’s this lucky person who gets to beat both of us single handedly?
Jackle: Actually I think he’ll be using both his hands
Menace: The match will be over twice as fast then
Jackle: This week we’re fighting Grimm
Menace: Why are we going to be fighting gloomy?
Jackle: Grimm’s the opponent’s name, not how we’re going to be feeling
Menace: Oh right. Well how are we going to make fun of him then?
Jackle: You know, we should have really thought about that before we started this promo
Menace: We did, I just thought we’d waste a bit of time before we actually started it
Jackle: All we do is waist time
Menace: How about doing something with the Brother’s Grimm?
Jackle: The story tellers? Well we could try and do a massive parody with all the Brother’s Grimm’s stories in it
Menace: Yeah, like Hansel and Gretel, Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood, The Little Mermaid
Jackle: I thought the Little Mermaid was Hans Christian Anderson?
Menace: It was, I just wanted to dress up as a mermaid. I think I look pretty in a fish tail
Jackle: About as pretty as someone’s face after going a hundred rounds against Mike Tyson using boxing gloves made out of concrete.
Random voice from off screen: Enough Squabbling, it is time for you to meet your doom
<* Before Menace can make a quip about whether he means the first person shooter game or that movie staring another wrestler who will remain nameless, the audible squeaking of something being wheeled onto the set is heard. The 2Guys stand to the left side of the shot as it pans back to see our new ‘guest’. What’s wheeled on is a skeleton wearing a black cloak holding a (plastic) scythe. One end of a long metal rod is connected to it’s lower jaw, the other is being held off screen by somebody who we can’t see, but they obviously move the rod to move the jaw to look like the skeleton is talking. *>
Menace: Who are you?
Random voice from off screen that’s pretending to be the skeleton: I am the ender of life, the giver of death, the escort of souls.
Jackle: The Grimm Reaper
Random voice from off screen who I’ll actually be referring to by name in just a moment: Yeah, that’s me. The name’s Greg.
Menace: Greg?
Greg: Yep, Greg the Grim Reaper. That’s me.
Jackle: Your name is Greg?
Greg: Yes, that’s my name. Do you have a problem with my name being Greg?
Menace: Umm…
Jackle: NO! No problem at all.
<* Jackle quickly grabs Menace and spins him around so that both the 2Guys backs are now facing our fake Grim Reaper (fake because apart from the jaw which has that metal rod clearly attacked to it, he doesn’t move at all. Besides, you think the real Grim Reaper is going to appear in a 2Guys Promotional Video. I’m not that lucky). In doing this move, Jackle hopes to have a private conversation with his tag partner. Of course we can still hear every word they say. *>
Jackle: If this guy’s the Grim Reaper, let’s not get him mad. Other wise we could end up dead
Menace: Why? Does the Grim Reaper have a violent temper?
Jackle: I don’t think we want to find out
<* With Menace nodding his head in approval, the two spin back around *>
Jackle: Well Mr. Reaper…
Greg: Just call me Greg
Menace: Ok, Greg, what are you doing here?
Greg: We’ll I’m here to take your souls to hell for eternal damnation and torment and all that other stuff that they do.
<* Oh how I wish this was true *>
Jackle: Other stuff?
Greg: Yeah, they do a theme night ever Thursday. I hear this week is going to be Hawaiian themed.
Menace: That sounds kind of cool
Greg: Yeah, but the flip side is that you’ll be dead.
<* Not a problem for me… shame this Reaper is just some guy standing just of screen moving some skeleton’s mouth with a metal rod… just reminding you in case you forgot. *>
Menace: But, I don’t want to be dead. We have a match this week
Greg: I wouldn’t worry about it. I can see into the future and can see you’d lose that match
Jackle: You don’t need to see into the future to know we’re going to lose a match
Menace: Yeah, we always lose our matches
Greg: Well then there isn’t really much difference in the grand scheme of things. So come on, let’s get you killed so that we can go already.
Menace: Oh but what about my cat?
Greg: Cat?
Jackle: Menace, you don’t have a cat
Menace: But I’ve been thinking on getting one
Greg: I hate Cats
Jackle: Who’d of thought that the Grim Reaper would be afraid of cats
Greg: I’m not afraid of cats. I hate cats. Them and their stupid nine live clause. ‘Oh look, a kitty cats dead, let’s get you off to hell.’ ‘Oh no Mr. Reaper, I still have eight more lives left’. I hate cats.
Menace: I think he doesn’t quite like cats.
Jackle: What ever gave you that idea?
Greg: If it were up to me I’d just shoot the bloody lot of them, but no. I’m not aloud to do that. Rules you know. But if I were allowed, I’d shoot them all. I’d have to shoot them all nine times though thanks to that bloody nine life clause they’ve got. Bloody cats. I hate cats.
Menace: Quick, over there… a cat
<* Menace points off screen behind the Grim Reaper, and the squeaking wheels are herd once more as the Reaper is turned around (eagle eyed viewer may also see tufts of hair belonging to the operator and voice of the Reaper appearing at the bottom of the screen). *>
Greg: Where’s the cat? I hate cats.
Menace: Quick, leg it!
<* The 2Guys run off the left side of the screen as quickly as possible. *>
Greg: Where’s that bloody cat. I hate cats.
<* The Reaper is wheel off the right side of the screen, still muttering about hating cats, and we fade to black on this completely random promo. And they say they actually had this scripted. *>
Jackle: Hello, good evening and welcome to this, another 2Guys Promotional Video
Menace: Later on in the program we’ll be looking into the bomb explosion at Guantanamo Bay’s toilet block. Police and FBI investigators say that it’s the perfect crime as they have nothing to go on.
Jackle: Several concerns have been raised as since the explosion as several of the inmates have been seen going over the wall.
Menace: But first, Wrestling News.
Jackle: As usual, last week we lost our match
Menace: And this week we’ll lose again
Jackle: The difference? Well last week was a regular tag team match
Menace: That’s two people fighting two other people
Jackle: Where as this week will be a handicapped match
Menace: Which is two people fighting one other person
Jackle: And when it’s us who are the two people, we’re the ones with the handicap
Menace: So who’s this lucky person who gets to beat both of us single handedly?
Jackle: Actually I think he’ll be using both his hands
Menace: The match will be over twice as fast then
Jackle: This week we’re fighting Grimm
Menace: Why are we going to be fighting gloomy?
Jackle: Grimm’s the opponent’s name, not how we’re going to be feeling
Menace: Oh right. Well how are we going to make fun of him then?
Jackle: You know, we should have really thought about that before we started this promo
Menace: We did, I just thought we’d waste a bit of time before we actually started it
Jackle: All we do is waist time
Menace: How about doing something with the Brother’s Grimm?
Jackle: The story tellers? Well we could try and do a massive parody with all the Brother’s Grimm’s stories in it
Menace: Yeah, like Hansel and Gretel, Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood, The Little Mermaid
Jackle: I thought the Little Mermaid was Hans Christian Anderson?
Menace: It was, I just wanted to dress up as a mermaid. I think I look pretty in a fish tail
Jackle: About as pretty as someone’s face after going a hundred rounds against Mike Tyson using boxing gloves made out of concrete.
Random voice from off screen: Enough Squabbling, it is time for you to meet your doom
<* Before Menace can make a quip about whether he means the first person shooter game or that movie staring another wrestler who will remain nameless, the audible squeaking of something being wheeled onto the set is heard. The 2Guys stand to the left side of the shot as it pans back to see our new ‘guest’. What’s wheeled on is a skeleton wearing a black cloak holding a (plastic) scythe. One end of a long metal rod is connected to it’s lower jaw, the other is being held off screen by somebody who we can’t see, but they obviously move the rod to move the jaw to look like the skeleton is talking. *>
Menace: Who are you?
Random voice from off screen that’s pretending to be the skeleton: I am the ender of life, the giver of death, the escort of souls.
Jackle: The Grimm Reaper
Random voice from off screen who I’ll actually be referring to by name in just a moment: Yeah, that’s me. The name’s Greg.
Menace: Greg?
Greg: Yep, Greg the Grim Reaper. That’s me.
Jackle: Your name is Greg?
Greg: Yes, that’s my name. Do you have a problem with my name being Greg?
Menace: Umm…
Jackle: NO! No problem at all.
<* Jackle quickly grabs Menace and spins him around so that both the 2Guys backs are now facing our fake Grim Reaper (fake because apart from the jaw which has that metal rod clearly attacked to it, he doesn’t move at all. Besides, you think the real Grim Reaper is going to appear in a 2Guys Promotional Video. I’m not that lucky). In doing this move, Jackle hopes to have a private conversation with his tag partner. Of course we can still hear every word they say. *>
Jackle: If this guy’s the Grim Reaper, let’s not get him mad. Other wise we could end up dead
Menace: Why? Does the Grim Reaper have a violent temper?
Jackle: I don’t think we want to find out
<* With Menace nodding his head in approval, the two spin back around *>
Jackle: Well Mr. Reaper…
Greg: Just call me Greg
Menace: Ok, Greg, what are you doing here?
Greg: We’ll I’m here to take your souls to hell for eternal damnation and torment and all that other stuff that they do.
<* Oh how I wish this was true *>
Jackle: Other stuff?
Greg: Yeah, they do a theme night ever Thursday. I hear this week is going to be Hawaiian themed.
Menace: That sounds kind of cool
Greg: Yeah, but the flip side is that you’ll be dead.
<* Not a problem for me… shame this Reaper is just some guy standing just of screen moving some skeleton’s mouth with a metal rod… just reminding you in case you forgot. *>
Menace: But, I don’t want to be dead. We have a match this week
Greg: I wouldn’t worry about it. I can see into the future and can see you’d lose that match
Jackle: You don’t need to see into the future to know we’re going to lose a match
Menace: Yeah, we always lose our matches
Greg: Well then there isn’t really much difference in the grand scheme of things. So come on, let’s get you killed so that we can go already.
Menace: Oh but what about my cat?
Greg: Cat?
Jackle: Menace, you don’t have a cat
Menace: But I’ve been thinking on getting one
Greg: I hate Cats
Jackle: Who’d of thought that the Grim Reaper would be afraid of cats
Greg: I’m not afraid of cats. I hate cats. Them and their stupid nine live clause. ‘Oh look, a kitty cats dead, let’s get you off to hell.’ ‘Oh no Mr. Reaper, I still have eight more lives left’. I hate cats.
Menace: I think he doesn’t quite like cats.
Jackle: What ever gave you that idea?
Greg: If it were up to me I’d just shoot the bloody lot of them, but no. I’m not aloud to do that. Rules you know. But if I were allowed, I’d shoot them all. I’d have to shoot them all nine times though thanks to that bloody nine life clause they’ve got. Bloody cats. I hate cats.
Menace: Quick, over there… a cat
<* Menace points off screen behind the Grim Reaper, and the squeaking wheels are herd once more as the Reaper is turned around (eagle eyed viewer may also see tufts of hair belonging to the operator and voice of the Reaper appearing at the bottom of the screen). *>
Greg: Where’s the cat? I hate cats.
Menace: Quick, leg it!
<* The 2Guys run off the left side of the screen as quickly as possible. *>
Greg: Where’s that bloody cat. I hate cats.
<* The Reaper is wheel off the right side of the screen, still muttering about hating cats, and we fade to black on this completely random promo. And they say they actually had this scripted. *>
