Post by A Ghost in the Wind on Jan 3, 2007 22:47:52 GMT -5
PCW Tuesday Trauma
Tuesday, January, 2, 2007
Live on E! from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Nevada
Tuesday, January, 2, 2007
Live on E! from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Nevada
The Pre-Show[/u]
The feed opens up in dazzling Las Vegas with an aerial shot of the MGM Grand. With celebrities and VIPs entering the arena via the specialized blue carpet, a ticker appears on the bottom left-hand corner of the screen, counting down the start to the third edition of the PCW Icey Awards.
The camera shifts from its aerial viewpoint to a standard shot and this is where we spot the beautiful Glenda Wood with microphone in-hand. Standing alongside her is the professionally-dressed Miguel Michael Malone, who also has microphone in-hand.
Miguel Malone: We are roughly fifteen minutes away from the start of the PCW Icey Awards!
Glenda Wood: And we’re live from the Blue Carpet to bring you exclusive pre-show interviews with the celebrities in attendance- including those who will be presenting.
Miguel Malone: But before we get into that, I’ve just received word that the votes are in and I can officially announce tonight’s first Icey Award Winner.
Glenda Wood: Don’t you mean we can officially announce tonight’s first Icey Award Winner?
Miguel Malone: Nope. I mean I.
Glenda Wood: But we’re a team here toni…
Miguel Malone: Tonight’s first winner is Al Laiman. He won the award for Most Surprising Turn.
Glenda Wood: I think what you mean to say is he won for Most SHOCKING Turn. There is no such category as Most Surprising In-Character Turn.
Miguel Malone: First off, don’t correct me. Don’t you know who my cousin is? Secondly, who on Earth worded that category? It sounds horrible.
Glenda: To answer your first question, yes I do; your cousin is our boss. To answer your second question, your cousin is the one who supplied the names for the categories.
Miguel Malone: Moving on…
Just then, Jay-Z and Beyonce pass by the two.
Miguel Malone: …Aye yo, Dawgs! Mind if I could get a few words, ya feel me?
Jay-Z turns his head in the direction of Miguel and Glenda, and the look of surprise and disgust appears on his face. He turns his head back and continues on his path.
Miguel Malone: Look what you did Glenda! You scared him off!
Glenda Wood: Maybe you should let me handle this.
Miguel Malone: No way, Toots. You should just sit back and watch a master work.
Glenda Wood: Riiight. Well, you go that way, and I’ll go this way. But right this moment, we need to take a commercial break!
The feed begins to fade out, with the last thing you see before the commercial being the countdown ticker. There is only ten minutes left before the start of the show.
*****Commercial Break*****
The Best of PCW DVD
MasterCard
Dell
*****End of Break*****
We return from break to see Miguel Malone standing side-by-side with Weird Al Yankovic. Miguel has a very uninterested and bored look on his face, but looks into the direction of the camera and begins to speak.
Miguel Malone: I’m here with Weird Al who had been riding a wave of re-emerging popularity after his hit-single, “White and Nerdy.” Al, how does it feel being passed over as the presenter of the Biggest Comeback Award?
Weird Al: I’m not too upset about it. I don’t feel I ever left for it to be called a comeback. Like LL Cool J once rapped, “Don’t call it a comeback!”
Miguel Malone: Yeah, you’re right. You’d actually have to come in order to make a comeback. Anyway, Glenda…what’cha got?
The feed switches from Miguel to Glenda, who happens to be standing by with Henry Winkler.
Glenda Wood: Henry, glad to have you with us. You’re presenting the award for Most Loved Performer…
Henry Winkler: *interrupting Glenda*…Actually, I’m not.
Glenda Wood: I was told you were.
Henry Winkler: I know who is, but Henry Winkler is not.
Glenda Wood: Sorry for taking your time Mr. Winkler.
Henry Winkler: Not a problem.
Henry walks down the Blue Carpet and heads inside while Glenda stands there for a moment, thinking of what to say. Suddenly, a burst of inspiration hits her, and she speaks.
Glenda Wood: That’s a perfect lead-in to our Most Shocking Moment Award. Miguel, I hear you’re going to announce the winner…
A split-screen comes on, and we can see Jerry Springer pass by Miguel. Miguel shoots Jerry a dirty look, before answering.
Miguel Malone: I sure am. The moment that won The Icey for Most Shocking Moment is Skylar Marshall interrupting Lantlas’s retirement speech.
Glenda Wood: That definitely was a deserving moment to win. Despite all the rumors, who would have thought Lantlas would have tried to retire following his match against Grimm for the PCW World Championship?
Miguel Malone: I would have suspected that. Lantlas is a sore-sport. He knew Grimm was going to take the PCW Title away from him, and he knew he would never be able to wrest it back. I’m just glad Skylar was around to set him straight. You know if Alejandro Walker was around, Lantlas would have gotten away with that garbage.
Just then, a shot of Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith, dressed as their Jay & Silent Bob personas, appear on Glenda’s side of the screen. The production crew cuts Miguel’s mic and dissolves the split-screen. The famed duo walks towards Glenda and speak.
Jay: Is this shit live, baby?
Glenda Wood: Yes it is. So if you can, please, watch the language.
Jay: Snoogans. Why the fuck aren’t we presenting the award for Best Tag Team?! Me and this chubby bastard are much more qualified choices than Choche and Schlong.
Glenda Wood: I think you mean, Cheech and Chong.
Jay: What-the-fuck-ever.
Glenda Wood: Please. Please. Watch your language. There may be children watching. Besides, we’re a company of class.
A look of direst, followed by a look of warning, comes across Silent Bob’s face and Jay acknowledges it.
Jay: Look lady. I didn’t mean it. We love the kids. My chubby friend loves them alittle more, if you catch my drift, snootch. Fuck it. Why don’t you let me take out my frustration by giving me some hot love, baby?
Glenda Wood: Excuse me?
Jay: You know…I work the clit like I owned it.
Jay starts wiggling his tongue in-between his index and middle fingers on his right hand.
Glenda: *with a look of disgust on her face*…No thanks. But your rant reminded me; The Icey for Most Heated Rivalry goes to Non Compos Mentis and Hardcore Hell Wrestling.
Jay: What the fuck does that have to do with me and Tubbs here? What the fuck are you trying to say?! Are you trying to call us gay, because I’ve never did anything like that. Honest. Now my mute friend here, I can’t say the same. He loves the cock. But I can show you how not gay I am.
Glenda Wood: Uh…I didn’t say you…we have to take a commercial break, but when we return…The Icey Award Show will officially begin!
The feed fades out as Glenda is reluctantly listening to Jay. The countdown ticker is yet again the last thing you see before the commercial starts, with it saying there is less than three minutes to go before the show begins.
*****Commercial Break*****
Best of PCW DVD
Macy’s
Pet Smart
E!: Talk Soup
*****End of Break*****
The Icey Awards[/u]
We return from commercial break with an inside shot of the MGM Grand. The venue is filled to its capacity and there are numerous celebrities seated. Some of the more noticeable celebrities in attendance are: Jack Nicholson, Pamela Anderson, Samuel L. Jackson, Mr. T, Donovan McNabb, Jessica Alba, Jack Black, Michelle Rodriquez, Will & Jada Pinkett Smith, and Russell Crowe.
As the lights dim, the vibrant atmosphere begins to calm down as a large video screen lowers down to the center stage from the ceiling. A PCW video highlight package, which is accompanied with, “Wonderboy” by Tenacious D, comes onto the screen. The footage features PCW Superstars such as: Lantlas, Grimm, Non Compos Mentis, Justin Michaels, Kaden Keene, Jade, Silence, James Keenan, Pegasus, and quite a few others.
Following the video package, the recognized voice of PCW’s very own Mark Long booms throughout the MGM Grand as he announces the host for the evening, which is none other than the famous William Shatner. The crowd erupts in cheers as William struts from the back and takes his spot at the podium.
William Shatner: Ladies…and gentlemen. We’re not…going to waste…any time with silly skits, so allow…me to introduce…our first presenter…please welcome…your friend and mine…Mr. …Tom “MySpace”…Anderson!
Biggest Debut[/u]
With “Wonderboy” by Tenacious D coming back on, wearing a pair of tan khakis and his patented white T-Shirt, Tom enters from the right and walks onto the main stage. He receives a warm welcome and once he makes it to the podium, the music cuts off and he begins to speak.
Tom: I’ve had a pretty good 2006. With MySpace taking off and me making millions of new friends, I could only say, my mainstream debut had been pretty good. But here in Pure Class Wrestling, we have seen some pretty big debuts aswell. Please turn your attention to the center stage, as we present the nominees…
The video screen behind Tom flickers on and it shows highlights from the nominees (whom are: Silence debuting at Living a Legacy, Nina Arcania [re]debuting at Trauma [56], Gravedigger debuting at Trauma [61], Anguish debuting at Trauma [59], and Francis debuting at Deadly Intentions). Once the package ends, Tom speaks up and announces the winner.
Tom: And The Icey for Biggest Debut goes to…Silence!
“Fear/Apostles of Darkness” by Ra/Dragonforce begins to play and Silence, along with his manager The Voice walks up and onto the stage. Once they are on, Tom smiles and offers The Icey Award to Silence, but it’s The Voice who snatches it out of Tom’s hand.
Tom tries to make peace with the situation and extends his hand out. The Voice just nods in Silence’s direction and Silence grabs Tom and places him in the Shadowplex-Cracker Jack. EMTs immediately rush the stage, as The Voice takes the podium.
The Voice: Tom…Silence doesn’t have any friends and he could careless about MySpace. He’s here to be the most dominating and destructive force in all of PCW and so far, he’s been on the right track. It’ll only be a matter of time when he’s World Champion. Until then, he’ll continue his reign of destruction. This is only the beginning.
The Voice and Silence leave the stage with The Icey in hand and we cut to a commercial break.
*****Commercial Break*****
E!: The Girls Next Door
Time Life Music
Proactiv
Geico
Best of PCW DVD
*****End of Break*****
Returning from commercial break, William Shatner is back on the center stage. He looks a bit shaken as to what had just occurred with Silence, The Voice, and Tom, but he speaks so the show can resume.
Biggest Comeback[/u]
William Shatner: I wasn’t prepared…for anything…like that to happen. That Silence…is one scary…guy. But the show…must…go on. So from the biggest debut…we move onto…the biggest comeback. Please allow me to…introduce to you…Bob Saget…and Dustin…”Screech”…Diamond!
“Rollin’ With Saget” by Jamie Kennedy comes on and Bob and Dustin walk onto the main stage from the right. They get a louder ovation than Tom, and make their way to the podium. Once they get to it, “Rollin’ With Saget” fades out and they speak.
Bob Saget: Forget Kate Moss and the drugs she snorted, I had probably the biggest comeback in all of entertainment.
Dustin Diamond: Uh, Bob…no one had even thought of me since Saved by the Bell went off the air, but after my sex tape, not only did I make the biggest comeback- I am the biggest star in all of entertainment. Besides, you got remembered after your bit on The Aristocrats about fellatio and performing a Dirty Sanchez and all that, but I actually went and performed one, and it was hilarious.
Bob Saget: You are talking exactly what was on your finger- crap! And even though we could dispute all day, let’s get to the nominees for Biggest Comeback…
As with the last one, the video screen behind them comes to life, showing a highlight reel of the nominees (whom are: Johnny Vivacious, Ace Anderson, “The Prophet” Marcus Murdoc, Nina Arcania, and Sean Hunter) and their greatest accomplishments since returning to the PCW.
Once the clip finishes, the video screen goes idle, as Bob and Dustin are preparing to announce the winner. Dustin hands the envelope to Bob, who opens it up, and announces the winner.
Bob Saget: And The Icey for Biggest Comeback goes to…
Bob Saget & Dustin Diamond: …“The Prophet” Marcus Murdoc!
“Black and White” by Static-X begins to play, but Prophet does not make his way onto the stage. Instead, the once dormant video screen fuzzes on. Through the grainy, snowy picture, an image of The Prophet can be seen. With, “Black and White” lowering in volume, but not completely fading out, Marcus, who sits perched on some kind of throne, speaks.
Prophet: Such a pity, PCW. Such a pity the man who won the Biggest Comeback had to take a leave shortly after coming back. I had my reasons though, as both Skylar and “The Icemann” can attest to. But fret no more and take heed of my warning- this will not be the last time you hear from Marcus Murdoc. The PCW Championship has eluded me during my time here, but when I handle my non-PCW issues, and if PCW will allow it, I will come back. And I will take what should rightfully be mine in the first place. There shall be no man who shall block my path if and when I return…not even if that’s the man that sends a shiver up and down my spine, Phinehas Grimm. So for now, I’ll take The Icey I so valiantly deserve. But this will not fulfill me for long. I shall return…
With that, the video screen zips to black, as the screen instantly turns off. With Bob and Dustin walking to the back, the camera cuts to William Shatner standing on the far-left of the three stages and “Black and White” fades out completely.
William Shatner: I knew…of some of the characters…here in PCW…were a bit badass…on the television set…but I had no idea…how badass they could be…when you’re just about in…their presence. That Silence…and Prophet…are tough hombres. Speaking of which…please focus your attention to the center stage…and welcome…our next two presenters…Cheech Martin and Tommy Chong…or as they’re simply known as…Cheech…and Chong!
Best Tag Team[/u]
“Earache my Eye” by Alice Bowie begins to play and Cheech and Chong emerge onto the stage. Either playing homage to their earlier career or just high off their rocker, they both come out in traditional Cheech and Chong attire, and they're stumbling their way to the podium.
Once the duo make it to the podium, with Chong nearly falling into it before stabilizing himself, the music cuts off and Cheech begins to speak.
Cheech: Aye man...was happenin'?
Chong: Where are we at, man?
Cheech: Man, we're at the PCW Icey Awards, man. And after the show, we're gonna have to go to the After-Party, man. Get high. Meet up with some women or something.
Chong: Yeah, maaan. We should do that, man.
Cheech: Let's go then, bro. What are we waiting for, man?
Chong: I...don't know, man. I'm totally stoned right now, bro. This Great Dane really blows your mind, man.
Cheech: Is that what we had?
Chong: Yeah, man.
Cheech: It's even better than the Labrador, man.
Chong: Yeaahh...
Cheech: I think we got to announce some winner of something, man.
Chong: Let's get to it then...
The video screen behind then instantly turns on, and Chong nearly falls out of surprise. It shows of some of the highlights from the nominees [which are: ICON, Non Compos Mentis & Ace Anderson, 2Guys, and Al Laiman & Lantlas].
Once the video package ends, Cheech is handed an envelope from a white woman in a headset, a black shirt, and a pair of brown khakis. He looks at it for a moment, and the video screen fades out.
Chong: I think you're suppose to read that, man.
Cheech: ...*figiting with the envelope*...Once I figure out how to open it, man.
Chong: Let me see it.
Chong is handed the envelope from Cheech and then pulls the gold ribbon on the back of it, opening the envelope.
Cheech: So read it, man. Who won?
Chong: ...*handing Cheech the envelope*...No. You go head, man. I'm too stoned to read.
Cheech: ...*taking the envelope*...Alright. The winners are...some guys named Jackal and Menace.
With that, "Drunkard Does Make Wise Remarks" by Daisuke Ishiwatari and 2Guys comes walking onto the stage. Once they make it to the stage, their music fades and they walk up to Cheech and Chong and speak.
Menace: I don't think we were suppose to win this.
Jackle: We're not suppose to win anything. That's what we do.
Chong: Well, I dunno, man.
Cheech: They told me we were 'spose to hand you two guys some awards, but we must have forgotten them, man.
Chong: But we have some stash in the back. Maybe that'll work instead.
2Guys look at Cheech and Chong, but before they can answer, we're brought to a commercial break.
*****Commercial Break*****
Tide
Playstation 3
Taco Bell
Best of PCW DVD
*****End of Break*****
Following commercial break, we return with William Shatner standing on the center stage. He then begins to talk.
William Shatner: Next up Ladies… and Gentleman we have the Icey award… for the Best Match. Since the last Icey Awards… there have been many matches that have caught… the attention of the PCW crowds. From Hardcore Hell matches to… War Games matches, these matches have thrilled…. Everyone. So let us take a quick look over the matches… that have wowed the audiences of PCW.
The screen sparks into life again with a compellation of the nominations for the Best Match award. Firstly the Hardcore Hell match between Al Laiman and Ace Anderson. The screen shows the progression of the match as both men get covered in thumb tacks and are bloodied horrifically before the appearance of the debuting giant, Silence, ultimately decimating both men. Next is the War Games match, the final match of former PCW champion Lantlas. Scenes of mayhem are shown as all manor of moves are used and everybody is in the ring beating or being beaten by a member of the opposite team, finally the image of Non Compos Mentis being pinned by Lantlas. Next is the epic World Title match between Grimm and Lantlas and the finale with Grimm finally picking up the win and capturing the World Title for the first time. The screen moves back into darkness and we look back at William Shatner on the stage.
William Shatner: Now let me introduce the men who will… present the award for Best Match. They are the stars of the new movie… Rocky Balboa. Antonio Tarver and…. Sylvester Stallone.
“Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor starts up and scenes from the new movie ‘Rocky Balboa’ flash up on the screen. From the sides of the stage come both men, Antonio Tarver from the left side and Sylvester Stallone from the right. Both men walk in from the sides and meet at the podium. Sly Stallone lifts up his right arm and puts the Icey award trophy onto the top of the podium. The music and video stops slowly and the two men prepare to present the award.
Sylvester Stallone: With the biggest boxing match in history reaching cinemas it is appropriate that we are presenting this award tonight.
Antonio Tarver: That’s right Sly, the dream boxing match with two dream boxers and we are here to present the award for the best match in PCW.
Sylvester Stallone: There were many contenders but there can only be one winner.
Antonio Tarver: Damn Right, and that winner is Al Laiman and Ace Anderson’s Hardcore Hell match.
“Eye of the Tiger” sparks up again and the highlights from the Hardcore Hell match are shown on the screen. As this is happening, Al Laiman and Ace Anderson get to their feet and approach the stage from opposite sides, trying to distance each other from their enemy as much as possible. They get up onto the stage and walk to the podium, staring at each other with hidden anger. Both men square up to the microphone to give their acceptance of the award.
Al Laiman: Here’s another reason as to why the HHW is superior than the PCW. It had to be a match featuring an HHW guy in an HHW created match that won Best Match, aye? Yeah. But even though I won, I don’t think I really deserve this. The match ended in a No Contest or No Decision or whatever it was and I didn’t get to shut Ace Anderson up. Be that as it may, I’ll accept this award.
Ace Anderson: Unlike Laiman here, I’m almost positive he wouldn’t have won the match against me. I had things under control until Silence showed up. But that’s OK, because I’m a winner at heart. Besides, atleast I was able to come back from that grueling match-up. I think that the others who were nominated had a legit shot at winning, but it shows you all what kind of energy, determination, preparation, commitment, and passion Laiman and I put in. It’s nice to know all that wasn’t overlooked. Thanks.
After they have given their acceptance speeches, both men make a grab for the trophy, wanting to take it as their own. A mini battle ensues and both men try to pull the trophy from their rival, but Ace Anderson finally wins over, his size and strength proving too much. Both men make their way off stage and back to their stage and Sly Stallone and Antonio Tarver move off stage together. William Shatner makes his way back to the podium.
William Shatner: Gentlemen please, this isn't Mervyn's after Christmas Sale for god sake's. Let's take a commercial break so these hot heads can cool off....geez.
Shatner tugs on his sports coat as if he was more civilized then Ace and Laiman as the feed switches to commercials.
*****Commercial Break*****
Burger King
Reebok
Rocky Balboa Trailer
Best of PCW DVD
*****End of Break*****
The feed switches back live to Shatner who is awaiting his cue and finally receives it.
William Shatner: Ya know, my show Boston Legal…shown on Tuesday nights on ABC at 10pm Eastern…which is right after Trauma goes off the air…where I am the big time lawyer and front name on the firm…I have came across some special cases in my years. But no matter how many…of them…one thing is for sure…none can compare to this next one. Ladies and Gentlemen…let me introduce to you a man…who when it comes to cool....there is none better....well, when I'm not in that same sentence that is. But here is....The Fonz!!!!
Most Loved[/u]
The theme from Happy Days starts to play as the crowd applauds and cheers as The Fonz walks out and then stops to give his thumbs up followed by an 'eh'. He makes his way to the podium.
The Fonz: You know that you've made it when your here with PCW....actually, I'm just glad to get a gig here....eh. But none the less, I am here to present the award for what I know best....Most Loved. Many of people can say that someone likes them but there is only one person that can hold this award and stake that claim and the winner is....
The Fonz opens up his black leather coat and pulls out the envelope and opens it up and reads it out loud.
The Fonz: Lantlas!!
"Elven Path" by Nigthwish begins to play and out walks Lantlas over to The Fonz, they shake hands and Lantlas is given his award as "Elven Path".
Lantlas: Wow. I’m at a loss of words right now. I’m thankful for being nominated and much more thankful for having one. For me to win this award, I feel it certainly proves to me that my accomplishments and hard work weren’t for naught. I wish I had more to say, but I do just want thank everyone. Thank-you.
Lantlas makes his way off the stage as William Shatner is standing there looking at him in awe.
William Shatner: That’s a…big son…of a bitch. Anyways, let's take another…break and when we get back…we will find out who was voted as Most Inspirational. Stay tuned.
The live feed switches over to commercials.
*****Commercial Break*****
Chevy Silverado
Levi's
White Castle
Best of PCW DVD
*****End of Break*****