Post by Ace Anderson on May 16, 2006 6:37:36 GMT -5
A rubber match. The apparent final meeting, where the feud between myself and Lantlas shall finally be decided, and for this, for the ultimate prize in my own world, the PCW World Championship. The prize that I have held for approaching five months, through all that I have had to face. The obstacles, the disbelievers. This match, “for all the marbles.” Winning this match will take me from Champion status, and catapult me into the Legend category. A place I rightfully deserve to be in. A match like this, deserves the utmost respect, and honor. A man like Lantlas deserves the utmost respect, for he is just as dedicated as I am, toward this business, and toward his own career. I plan on giving myself and Lantlas the match that we deserve. For honor, if for nothing else.
As I lay next to Katelyn in the middle of the grass, up on a hill, I want to be thinking about her, and how beautiful she looks. She has never been more captivating than she is as she lays by my side during this moment of calm. Her hand is in mine and she is playing with my fingers, moving hers around with no real purpose. We are looking up at the sky, watching the clouds roll onward, and my mind begins to wander. To PCW. To my loss to Mikey Wryght. I trusted Ace, and he let me down. It wasn’t the first time either.
That doesn’t last long, as my thoughts drift once more, this time to the World Title. To my nearing five month reign as World Champion. To Lantlas. The man that I have grown to respect more than any other. However, just because I respect him, the first man that I’ve respected in the wrestling business in as long as I can remember, doesn’t mean that Ace Anderson is going to lay down for him. No, this just means that Lantlas is going to see the side of Ace Anderson that his most worthy adversaries always see. The side that wins the matches. Unless Ace Anderson decides he wants to get fucking cocky and stupid, again.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” she turns over to look at me, her hand that isn’t holding my own placed on top of my chest. She nuzzles in close, and kisses me on the cheek.
“I wish I wasn’t always thinking about my career. I’m here, I’m with you, and this day is all about you. However, while we’re laying here, in the silence, all I can think about is Lantlas, the most important match of my life, and fucking Ace Anderson costing me that match against Mikey. A fucking disgrace.”
She shifts her weight, to prop herself up on her elbow, as she releases my hand. “Don’t beat yourself up over that. Are you worried about Lantlas?”
“How can I not? He told me to trust him, and I did. What happened? He lost the match for me. Where Lantlas is concerned, however, I wouldn’t call it worried so much as anxious. I want to step into the ring with this man. I feel like whenever I’m wrestling him, Ace is at his best.”
“Don’t you mean you’re at your best?” she enquires.
“I’m not so sure. I’m never sure. Ace was supposed to be at his best against, Mikey, and look where that got us.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out sooner or later.” she concludes as she lays back down on her back. She looks up at the cloud-filled sky, as I prop myself up on my elbows. I lay back down after a few seconds, and take her hand in mine.
Maybe, just maybe, I should figure it out sooner rather than later. I’ve got to stop this, this beating myself up. “Look, it’s a bunny!” Katelyn squeals with excitement as she points up at a cloud that very much resembles a rabbit.
“Well, isn’t that cute?” the sarcastic tone apparent, and she does notice. She lets me know by giving me a little tap to the abdomen. Well, at least it felt like a tap. “Hey now, I was kidding. It is pretty cute...for a big cotton ball in the sky.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t even know, I just said it.” I say, as I turn my focus to the sky. For some reason, I think I see a cloud that resembles a belt. My World Title. Lantlas wants this belt. I know it. He has worked so hard to get this shot. He deserves the shot. I’m not sure if I want it more than I do or not. I think Ace wants it, but I’m not so sure about Jason. Not so sure about myself. It’s become somewhat a burden on me as of late. Making me stray from what should be important. Katelyn is just that element, the most important part of my life right now. For the first time, with the exception of my own mother, and of course my late father, I feel as though somebody cares for me as much as I’m willing to care for them. That’s more important than any piece of gold that I could fit around my waist.
But that’s not the case, now is it? I keep on coming back to the gold plated, leather status-symbol that is sitting on my couch collecting dust until I place it on my waist once again, walk down to that ring, and put it on the line.
“You’re thinking real hard, aren’t you?” I realize that my eyes were closed, and I open them to see Katelyn peering down at me, looking right into my eyes, and now I feel as though she is looking into my soul. She is sitting on my stomach now, and somehow I didn’t even notice her shift in position.
“You could say that.”
“Well, I know that it’s about Lantlas and PCW, so why don’t you just share it. I hate laying here while you’re thinking so hard and not even letting me in on it.”
“Alright...well, it’s like this. Lantlas wants my World Title. Ace Anderson needs the World Title for his image. His ego is starting to hurt me. It’s always hurt me. All I need is you. But there are things getting in the way of that. Getting in the way of what I want and need.” I try to explain it to her the best I can, and I don’t expect her to get it. Maybe she will, though. Just maybe.
“Well I think you need the World Title just as much as ‘Ace’ does. I also think that you want it more. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be thinking about it so darn much!”
“Maybe you’re right. But maybe...just maybe...you’re also TICKLISH!” I grab her in my arms and I lift her up off of my stomach, and I begin to tickle her sides. She begins giggling uncontrollably and I stop tickling her.
“I didn’t say stop.” she looks up at me with those beautiful eyes. It feels like I’m falling in love here. I pause, and look up at the sky while she takes me in a hug.
‘LOVE? What in the fuck is your problem? You are days away from facing Lantlas for Ace Anderson’s prize, and you’re thinking about LOVE? She is going to be the cause of Greatness’ failure. You best smarten up.’
No. That’s enough. I can’t take it. Ace Anderson is the one who is bringing me down. He is the only reason that I would ever lose a match. His own selfishness, his arrogance. He cost me the match against Mikey because he couldn’t help but taunt the fans. He could have finished off Mr. Showtime, but what did he do? He allowed himself to lose focus. For a guy who talks about focus so much, he doesn’t know how to keep it. In the match against The Byrd, the gauntlet, in which Ace Anderson was defeated, what did he do? He got distracted by Al Laiman and allowed that little piss-ant Byrd to roll him up and claim the victory. Against Lantlas in my first match against him, what happened? Ace Anderson got fed up because he couldn’t pin the Elven Warrior. He was afraid that someone might be better than himself, and what did he do? He smashed Lantlas in the head, ruining any chance he had of winning the match.
What did I do? I got a rematch against Byrd. I didn’t get distracted. It was me who was wrestling that match. I came out on top. My rematch against Lantlas, what did I do? I stayed focused. I didn’t let Ace’s ego get the best of me. I reverted to animal instinct, to good ring psychology. I came out on top. In the match against Geno at Hostile Takeover, Ace almost cost it for me. He kept getting distracted by Laiman. What did I do? I took over, and I allowed myself to stay focused. I finished off Geno like he was no problem. Hell, I say fuck Ace Anderson.
The persona that I built to be strong, is really the weakest part of me. It’s true. Whenever I step into that ring, and I know that I need to win the match. I’m not thinking like Ace Anderson. I’m thinking like Jason McDonald. I’m me, not him. Deep down inside, I’m the one who should be calling all of the shots. Wait a minute, I HAVE been calling the shots. Just because I refer to Ace Anderson as myself, speak in the third person, and act like a complete asshole doesn’t mean that he’s in control. I created him, and that means that I can kill him. For the betterment of my career, and for the betterment of my own life. Not just for myself, not just for my career, but mostly for Katelyn. She deserves the best of me. For a while I thought that was Ace Anderson. It really is Jason McDonald, in the flesh.
Katelyn loosens her hug. She takes a single finger, her index finger, and bends it in a “come here” motion. I bend down, and she places a kiss on my lips.
“I love you.” it just comes out. I don’t even have time to think. The words leave my lips and I can’t do anything to stop them. Maybe it’s because that’s how I really feel. For once, Jason McDonald is speaking his mind without having to worry about Ace Anderson.
“What would Ace think of that?” she retorts.
“Who cares. From now on, I’m done worrying about what Ace Anderson thinks and wants. At Collision Course, I’m going into that match to retain my World Title for something bigger. I’m dedicating my victory to you, sweetheart. My real source of power.” I give her another kiss. She looks up at me with those eyes once more, and I melt, like I always do. The wind picks up and her hair begins to blow in the gusts.
“It took you long enough to realize that you don’t need an alter ego to be Superman. Besides, you’ve always been Superman to me.” she takes my hand, and we begin to walk across the field at the top of the hill. “I love you too.”
A simple whisper. A mutter of words that causes my heart to leap, and then fall back into place with a rhythmic beating. It’s as though at this exact moment, our hearts are moving in unison, and we are one soul. I wait for a retaliation by the voice that has become Ace Anderson’s own inside the confines of my mind, some sort of degrading speech about how I’m foolish and weak. It doesn’t come. Just as quickly as I created him, I shut him down.
I wish I could explain to myself this freedom I feel. As though I don’t have a worry in the world. Today has been a wonderful day. So many things have crossed my mind, so many reasons to be overzealous about everything that is to come. I feel as though I need to conclude to myself, organize my thoughts. Maybe it would be better if I just said it aloud.
“Katelyn..I want to thank you.”
“For what?” a look of confusion crossing her face.
“For the longest time, I’ve felt that I’ve had to hide behind a persona, that I’ve had to fake it in order be as strong as I can be. You’ve taught me that all I need to be strong is to believe in myself, and to love. My father would be so proud of me.”
“He IS so proud of you, Jason. As well as I’m sure he was always proud of you, regardless of what happened or is to happen.”
“From this moment on, Jason McDonald is the one who is in control, in the ring and out. Ace Anderson no longer exists within me. From now on, Ace Anderson is simply the name that people will associate with their own demise.”
“It took you long enough!” she pokes me in the stomach with her index finger, and then wraps her arms around my waist. I put my arm over her shoulder, just as we reach the edge of the hill. We start to make our way down, each step being an odd one as the slope causes us to be off balance. Once at the bottom, we get into my car. I do up my seatbelt, and I look across to the passengers seat, to the love of my life. It’s strange how well she understands me. It’s a shame I don’t get her as well as she does me. That’s bound to change. I lean over, and give her another kiss. “Lantlas better be wary, for he’s not facing Ace Anderson on Sunday. He’s facing Jason McDonald, like the last time, and look where that got him.”
“You’re going to do great, honey. I know you will. You always do. It’s in your nature.”
As I drive down the road, the trees and pavement rolling onward, my mind begins to wander. But not to PCW. Not to the World Title. Not to Lantlas. No, it simply wanders to the thought of honor, in itself. For honor, if for nothing else.
As I lay next to Katelyn in the middle of the grass, up on a hill, I want to be thinking about her, and how beautiful she looks. She has never been more captivating than she is as she lays by my side during this moment of calm. Her hand is in mine and she is playing with my fingers, moving hers around with no real purpose. We are looking up at the sky, watching the clouds roll onward, and my mind begins to wander. To PCW. To my loss to Mikey Wryght. I trusted Ace, and he let me down. It wasn’t the first time either.
That doesn’t last long, as my thoughts drift once more, this time to the World Title. To my nearing five month reign as World Champion. To Lantlas. The man that I have grown to respect more than any other. However, just because I respect him, the first man that I’ve respected in the wrestling business in as long as I can remember, doesn’t mean that Ace Anderson is going to lay down for him. No, this just means that Lantlas is going to see the side of Ace Anderson that his most worthy adversaries always see. The side that wins the matches. Unless Ace Anderson decides he wants to get fucking cocky and stupid, again.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” she turns over to look at me, her hand that isn’t holding my own placed on top of my chest. She nuzzles in close, and kisses me on the cheek.
“I wish I wasn’t always thinking about my career. I’m here, I’m with you, and this day is all about you. However, while we’re laying here, in the silence, all I can think about is Lantlas, the most important match of my life, and fucking Ace Anderson costing me that match against Mikey. A fucking disgrace.”
She shifts her weight, to prop herself up on her elbow, as she releases my hand. “Don’t beat yourself up over that. Are you worried about Lantlas?”
“How can I not? He told me to trust him, and I did. What happened? He lost the match for me. Where Lantlas is concerned, however, I wouldn’t call it worried so much as anxious. I want to step into the ring with this man. I feel like whenever I’m wrestling him, Ace is at his best.”
“Don’t you mean you’re at your best?” she enquires.
“I’m not so sure. I’m never sure. Ace was supposed to be at his best against, Mikey, and look where that got us.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out sooner or later.” she concludes as she lays back down on her back. She looks up at the cloud-filled sky, as I prop myself up on my elbows. I lay back down after a few seconds, and take her hand in mine.
Maybe, just maybe, I should figure it out sooner rather than later. I’ve got to stop this, this beating myself up. “Look, it’s a bunny!” Katelyn squeals with excitement as she points up at a cloud that very much resembles a rabbit.
“Well, isn’t that cute?” the sarcastic tone apparent, and she does notice. She lets me know by giving me a little tap to the abdomen. Well, at least it felt like a tap. “Hey now, I was kidding. It is pretty cute...for a big cotton ball in the sky.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t even know, I just said it.” I say, as I turn my focus to the sky. For some reason, I think I see a cloud that resembles a belt. My World Title. Lantlas wants this belt. I know it. He has worked so hard to get this shot. He deserves the shot. I’m not sure if I want it more than I do or not. I think Ace wants it, but I’m not so sure about Jason. Not so sure about myself. It’s become somewhat a burden on me as of late. Making me stray from what should be important. Katelyn is just that element, the most important part of my life right now. For the first time, with the exception of my own mother, and of course my late father, I feel as though somebody cares for me as much as I’m willing to care for them. That’s more important than any piece of gold that I could fit around my waist.
But that’s not the case, now is it? I keep on coming back to the gold plated, leather status-symbol that is sitting on my couch collecting dust until I place it on my waist once again, walk down to that ring, and put it on the line.
“You’re thinking real hard, aren’t you?” I realize that my eyes were closed, and I open them to see Katelyn peering down at me, looking right into my eyes, and now I feel as though she is looking into my soul. She is sitting on my stomach now, and somehow I didn’t even notice her shift in position.
“You could say that.”
“Well, I know that it’s about Lantlas and PCW, so why don’t you just share it. I hate laying here while you’re thinking so hard and not even letting me in on it.”
“Alright...well, it’s like this. Lantlas wants my World Title. Ace Anderson needs the World Title for his image. His ego is starting to hurt me. It’s always hurt me. All I need is you. But there are things getting in the way of that. Getting in the way of what I want and need.” I try to explain it to her the best I can, and I don’t expect her to get it. Maybe she will, though. Just maybe.
“Well I think you need the World Title just as much as ‘Ace’ does. I also think that you want it more. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be thinking about it so darn much!”
“Maybe you’re right. But maybe...just maybe...you’re also TICKLISH!” I grab her in my arms and I lift her up off of my stomach, and I begin to tickle her sides. She begins giggling uncontrollably and I stop tickling her.
“I didn’t say stop.” she looks up at me with those beautiful eyes. It feels like I’m falling in love here. I pause, and look up at the sky while she takes me in a hug.
‘LOVE? What in the fuck is your problem? You are days away from facing Lantlas for Ace Anderson’s prize, and you’re thinking about LOVE? She is going to be the cause of Greatness’ failure. You best smarten up.’
No. That’s enough. I can’t take it. Ace Anderson is the one who is bringing me down. He is the only reason that I would ever lose a match. His own selfishness, his arrogance. He cost me the match against Mikey because he couldn’t help but taunt the fans. He could have finished off Mr. Showtime, but what did he do? He allowed himself to lose focus. For a guy who talks about focus so much, he doesn’t know how to keep it. In the match against The Byrd, the gauntlet, in which Ace Anderson was defeated, what did he do? He got distracted by Al Laiman and allowed that little piss-ant Byrd to roll him up and claim the victory. Against Lantlas in my first match against him, what happened? Ace Anderson got fed up because he couldn’t pin the Elven Warrior. He was afraid that someone might be better than himself, and what did he do? He smashed Lantlas in the head, ruining any chance he had of winning the match.
What did I do? I got a rematch against Byrd. I didn’t get distracted. It was me who was wrestling that match. I came out on top. My rematch against Lantlas, what did I do? I stayed focused. I didn’t let Ace’s ego get the best of me. I reverted to animal instinct, to good ring psychology. I came out on top. In the match against Geno at Hostile Takeover, Ace almost cost it for me. He kept getting distracted by Laiman. What did I do? I took over, and I allowed myself to stay focused. I finished off Geno like he was no problem. Hell, I say fuck Ace Anderson.
The persona that I built to be strong, is really the weakest part of me. It’s true. Whenever I step into that ring, and I know that I need to win the match. I’m not thinking like Ace Anderson. I’m thinking like Jason McDonald. I’m me, not him. Deep down inside, I’m the one who should be calling all of the shots. Wait a minute, I HAVE been calling the shots. Just because I refer to Ace Anderson as myself, speak in the third person, and act like a complete asshole doesn’t mean that he’s in control. I created him, and that means that I can kill him. For the betterment of my career, and for the betterment of my own life. Not just for myself, not just for my career, but mostly for Katelyn. She deserves the best of me. For a while I thought that was Ace Anderson. It really is Jason McDonald, in the flesh.
Katelyn loosens her hug. She takes a single finger, her index finger, and bends it in a “come here” motion. I bend down, and she places a kiss on my lips.
“I love you.” it just comes out. I don’t even have time to think. The words leave my lips and I can’t do anything to stop them. Maybe it’s because that’s how I really feel. For once, Jason McDonald is speaking his mind without having to worry about Ace Anderson.
“What would Ace think of that?” she retorts.
“Who cares. From now on, I’m done worrying about what Ace Anderson thinks and wants. At Collision Course, I’m going into that match to retain my World Title for something bigger. I’m dedicating my victory to you, sweetheart. My real source of power.” I give her another kiss. She looks up at me with those eyes once more, and I melt, like I always do. The wind picks up and her hair begins to blow in the gusts.
“It took you long enough to realize that you don’t need an alter ego to be Superman. Besides, you’ve always been Superman to me.” she takes my hand, and we begin to walk across the field at the top of the hill. “I love you too.”
A simple whisper. A mutter of words that causes my heart to leap, and then fall back into place with a rhythmic beating. It’s as though at this exact moment, our hearts are moving in unison, and we are one soul. I wait for a retaliation by the voice that has become Ace Anderson’s own inside the confines of my mind, some sort of degrading speech about how I’m foolish and weak. It doesn’t come. Just as quickly as I created him, I shut him down.
I wish I could explain to myself this freedom I feel. As though I don’t have a worry in the world. Today has been a wonderful day. So many things have crossed my mind, so many reasons to be overzealous about everything that is to come. I feel as though I need to conclude to myself, organize my thoughts. Maybe it would be better if I just said it aloud.
“Katelyn..I want to thank you.”
“For what?” a look of confusion crossing her face.
“For the longest time, I’ve felt that I’ve had to hide behind a persona, that I’ve had to fake it in order be as strong as I can be. You’ve taught me that all I need to be strong is to believe in myself, and to love. My father would be so proud of me.”
“He IS so proud of you, Jason. As well as I’m sure he was always proud of you, regardless of what happened or is to happen.”
“From this moment on, Jason McDonald is the one who is in control, in the ring and out. Ace Anderson no longer exists within me. From now on, Ace Anderson is simply the name that people will associate with their own demise.”
“It took you long enough!” she pokes me in the stomach with her index finger, and then wraps her arms around my waist. I put my arm over her shoulder, just as we reach the edge of the hill. We start to make our way down, each step being an odd one as the slope causes us to be off balance. Once at the bottom, we get into my car. I do up my seatbelt, and I look across to the passengers seat, to the love of my life. It’s strange how well she understands me. It’s a shame I don’t get her as well as she does me. That’s bound to change. I lean over, and give her another kiss. “Lantlas better be wary, for he’s not facing Ace Anderson on Sunday. He’s facing Jason McDonald, like the last time, and look where that got him.”
“You’re going to do great, honey. I know you will. You always do. It’s in your nature.”
As I drive down the road, the trees and pavement rolling onward, my mind begins to wander. But not to PCW. Not to the World Title. Not to Lantlas. No, it simply wanders to the thought of honor, in itself. For honor, if for nothing else.