Post by sethsinn on May 19, 2006 22:22:51 GMT -5
I slowly walk through the deep woods, the ground soaked with fresh rain, the air heavily damp. The ground under my feet submerges into a print of my boot, water seeping up from under the mud every time I step. The only things that fills my ears is the sounds of birds chirping in the distance, the ground squishing under my feet, and the words of Anthony Douglas echoing in my ears. The thoughts and constant nightmares of Lantlas and Christine have died down the last few days, maybe I’m even starting to get used to it? Maybe I have accepted what has happened between them? But I cannot think of that right now, I cannot think of the divorce, I have to keep my mind on Anthony Douglas and only Anthony Douglas. I pull out a flask from my inner coat pocket, twisting off the cap and taking a drink of the liquid inside.
“You can beat me Anthony.” I begin. “You can try and break me Anthony. You can look down on my all you want, but you will never, ever be better than me.”
I tuck the flask back into the pocket from which it came, as the words of Anthony Douglas continue ringing in my ears. “Seth, don't look for sympathy from me. You're not going to find any. I wouldn't spit in your mouth if you were dying of thirst or piss on you if you were on fire.”
“Anthony,” I continue, his words drawing out everything else. “I don’t expect anything from you. Actually, I don’t want anything like that from you. I’m not a man who is going to rack up pity points and take in all the sympathy for my own amusement. So you not giving me shit is doing me a favor. But the thing you are going to have to keep in mind is, is you have never been where I have been. You may have drank yourself into the biggest whole you have ever seen, and you may have felt like shit for fucking your family up, but you have never known what it is like to have your heart ripped out and stomped on. You may have felt emotional pain before, but you have never felt shit like this.”
I keep walking on my path, more of Anthony’s words ringing in my ears. “You dragged my family's name and memory through the mud in the HHW. Just because your whore of a wife slept with a fake elven piece of trash doesn't excuse sh*t!!! Right now, I watch your fall apart, and I try to look for empathy, but I remember too well how much you went out of your way to sh*t on my family. F*ck your tears. . .be a man. Stand up and be a G-d damn man!”
“There is the Anthony we all know and hate. Yeah Anthony, I brought up your family before, and I don’t regret one damn thing about it. If I had to, I would do it again, and again, and again. You think you scare me? You think you really scare me with all this cock and bull bullshit Anthony? You are sadly mistaken, because ever since I saw your face from day one I knew you were nothing but a bitch. The first time I ever saw you in HHW, when you faced Sara Storm I knew you had no talent. And when I saw you loose that IC title to Geno, I knew you winning it was nothing but a hoax. Ever since day one, you have done nothing but suck and become an IC transitional champion. And now, you’re not doing much better in the PCW.”
The whole outside world has now been blocked out, my vision tunneled on my destination and my hearing drowned out to only the words of Anthony Douglas. Mocking me, teasing me, completely enraging me once again. “Remember, back in the HHW, I took my .44 desert eagle and shot up your poster? You wanted homicide. . .At the PPV, that's what you've got. Sad thing is, Seth. . .you are looking for redemption, and I found mine. She's sitting in my living room, watching baseball. Yours was hoping from bed to bed, shacking up with a fake Elven sack of sh*t! Cry me a f*cking river, bitch. Karma's a bitch, kid.”
“Yeah Anthony, I remember that pathetic action, that pathetic attempt of trying to frighten me. But the only thing you managed to do was make me laugh, this time you managed to make me angry. You called Christine a whore, and although she may be one, this is something you know nothing about. Stay the fuck out of it, and maybe I won’t bring you little bitch into it either.”
I take the flask out of my jacket, taking another sip.
“You’re going to kill me, huh Anthony? You’re going to beat me down to nothing but a bloody and broken mess, and then claim that you are just the greatest to ever grace the fucking ring. Well guess what, it’s not going to happen, not in a million god damn years. Now go ahead and come in with the whole, ‘I beat you before routine’, but remember you needed the numbers game to help you out.”
I don’t know why, or how but I stop dead in my tracks. My ears hear everything around me, the birds chirping, the air whistling, and the voice of Anthony Douglas has disappeared. But in the distance, I swear I hear a baby crying. The faint whisper in the wind is carried to my ears as I start running at a dead sprint. The wind rushing through my hair, my trench coat flowing behind me as I jump over an overturned tree. The screams of this young infant grow louder and louder, as I start to panic. I stop dead in my tracks, the screams louder than ever as I look around for the infant child. But I see nothing, find nothing. The screams stop, and from behind a tree a cloaked figure appears.
“Seth…” the figure speaks, a beautiful voice protruding from what seems to be a woman. “You must stop now, this direction you are taking, is very treacherous.”
“Who are you?” I ask. “Where is the child?”
“That is the child within your very wife, crying out for her father. YOU are her father Seth.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”
“Look inside yourself, inside of you… would Christine really do that to you?”
“Does it matter anymore? It happened, that is all that matters. My tears cannot change the past…”
“But that drink you hold inside of your pocket will?”
I go to retort, but I find myself not speaking, but thinking about the latest words. First off, how did she even know about my drink? Second, she was right. Why was I drinking so much, knowing full well that it would do nothing except make me worse.
“My drinking is no ones concern but my own.”
“It is everyones concern Seth, everyone that cares about you. Your dear Wife Christine, your unborn child, Lantlas…”
“Lantlas,” I speak, my voice filled with rage. “does not care about me or my well-being! He never has, he will always be out to ruin me! He slept with my damn wife for Christ sakes!”
“Lantlas did no such thing, you were led to believe that by a source that you cannot trust. Christine has been loyal to you, and you need to realize this before it is too late.”
“And you need to shut the fuck up!” I scream, tears flowing down my face. “You know nothing!”
“I know the truth, the truth you refuse to believe! If you would rather leave the one you have always loved out in the dark, leave your child abandoned, and leave your best friend to fend for himself… then I can do nothing to stop you.”
“You’re damn right you can’t! And you wont!”
“I pray you see the truth before it is too late.”
I turn to walk away, and as I do so I hear the baby again. But this time it is not crying, but laughing. I turn to see the cloaked woman holding a child. I smile, and for some reason as I look deep into the green eyes I feel…. Whole….
“You can beat me Anthony.” I begin. “You can try and break me Anthony. You can look down on my all you want, but you will never, ever be better than me.”
I tuck the flask back into the pocket from which it came, as the words of Anthony Douglas continue ringing in my ears. “Seth, don't look for sympathy from me. You're not going to find any. I wouldn't spit in your mouth if you were dying of thirst or piss on you if you were on fire.”
“Anthony,” I continue, his words drawing out everything else. “I don’t expect anything from you. Actually, I don’t want anything like that from you. I’m not a man who is going to rack up pity points and take in all the sympathy for my own amusement. So you not giving me shit is doing me a favor. But the thing you are going to have to keep in mind is, is you have never been where I have been. You may have drank yourself into the biggest whole you have ever seen, and you may have felt like shit for fucking your family up, but you have never known what it is like to have your heart ripped out and stomped on. You may have felt emotional pain before, but you have never felt shit like this.”
I keep walking on my path, more of Anthony’s words ringing in my ears. “You dragged my family's name and memory through the mud in the HHW. Just because your whore of a wife slept with a fake elven piece of trash doesn't excuse sh*t!!! Right now, I watch your fall apart, and I try to look for empathy, but I remember too well how much you went out of your way to sh*t on my family. F*ck your tears. . .be a man. Stand up and be a G-d damn man!”
“There is the Anthony we all know and hate. Yeah Anthony, I brought up your family before, and I don’t regret one damn thing about it. If I had to, I would do it again, and again, and again. You think you scare me? You think you really scare me with all this cock and bull bullshit Anthony? You are sadly mistaken, because ever since I saw your face from day one I knew you were nothing but a bitch. The first time I ever saw you in HHW, when you faced Sara Storm I knew you had no talent. And when I saw you loose that IC title to Geno, I knew you winning it was nothing but a hoax. Ever since day one, you have done nothing but suck and become an IC transitional champion. And now, you’re not doing much better in the PCW.”
The whole outside world has now been blocked out, my vision tunneled on my destination and my hearing drowned out to only the words of Anthony Douglas. Mocking me, teasing me, completely enraging me once again. “Remember, back in the HHW, I took my .44 desert eagle and shot up your poster? You wanted homicide. . .At the PPV, that's what you've got. Sad thing is, Seth. . .you are looking for redemption, and I found mine. She's sitting in my living room, watching baseball. Yours was hoping from bed to bed, shacking up with a fake Elven sack of sh*t! Cry me a f*cking river, bitch. Karma's a bitch, kid.”
“Yeah Anthony, I remember that pathetic action, that pathetic attempt of trying to frighten me. But the only thing you managed to do was make me laugh, this time you managed to make me angry. You called Christine a whore, and although she may be one, this is something you know nothing about. Stay the fuck out of it, and maybe I won’t bring you little bitch into it either.”
I take the flask out of my jacket, taking another sip.
“You’re going to kill me, huh Anthony? You’re going to beat me down to nothing but a bloody and broken mess, and then claim that you are just the greatest to ever grace the fucking ring. Well guess what, it’s not going to happen, not in a million god damn years. Now go ahead and come in with the whole, ‘I beat you before routine’, but remember you needed the numbers game to help you out.”
I don’t know why, or how but I stop dead in my tracks. My ears hear everything around me, the birds chirping, the air whistling, and the voice of Anthony Douglas has disappeared. But in the distance, I swear I hear a baby crying. The faint whisper in the wind is carried to my ears as I start running at a dead sprint. The wind rushing through my hair, my trench coat flowing behind me as I jump over an overturned tree. The screams of this young infant grow louder and louder, as I start to panic. I stop dead in my tracks, the screams louder than ever as I look around for the infant child. But I see nothing, find nothing. The screams stop, and from behind a tree a cloaked figure appears.
“Seth…” the figure speaks, a beautiful voice protruding from what seems to be a woman. “You must stop now, this direction you are taking, is very treacherous.”
“Who are you?” I ask. “Where is the child?”
“That is the child within your very wife, crying out for her father. YOU are her father Seth.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”
“Look inside yourself, inside of you… would Christine really do that to you?”
“Does it matter anymore? It happened, that is all that matters. My tears cannot change the past…”
“But that drink you hold inside of your pocket will?”
I go to retort, but I find myself not speaking, but thinking about the latest words. First off, how did she even know about my drink? Second, she was right. Why was I drinking so much, knowing full well that it would do nothing except make me worse.
“My drinking is no ones concern but my own.”
“It is everyones concern Seth, everyone that cares about you. Your dear Wife Christine, your unborn child, Lantlas…”
“Lantlas,” I speak, my voice filled with rage. “does not care about me or my well-being! He never has, he will always be out to ruin me! He slept with my damn wife for Christ sakes!”
“Lantlas did no such thing, you were led to believe that by a source that you cannot trust. Christine has been loyal to you, and you need to realize this before it is too late.”
“And you need to shut the fuck up!” I scream, tears flowing down my face. “You know nothing!”
“I know the truth, the truth you refuse to believe! If you would rather leave the one you have always loved out in the dark, leave your child abandoned, and leave your best friend to fend for himself… then I can do nothing to stop you.”
“You’re damn right you can’t! And you wont!”
“I pray you see the truth before it is too late.”
I turn to walk away, and as I do so I hear the baby again. But this time it is not crying, but laughing. I turn to see the cloaked woman holding a child. I smile, and for some reason as I look deep into the green eyes I feel…. Whole….