Post by Andy D on May 21, 2006 11:11:36 GMT -5
<* Well it looks like that time again, as we open on the familiar sight of the Generic Promotional Background and those two idiots who stand in front of it a lot. I don’t really want this to happen, but then I don’t get a say in the matter. Then again, neither do you so that’s why the 2Guys are ready to give they’re latest promo. *>
Jackle: Hello, good evening and welcome to this, another 2Guys promotional video.
Menace: Later on in the program we were to be interviewing the star attraction of Lord George Davidson’s circus, Alfredo the human bomb. But we’ve just heard he’s gone off on holiday.
Jackle: But we will be brining you news on Arnold Clump, a six foot nine, ham-fisted hairy drunk with a short temper, bad breath, acne, dandruff and fleas who was named by the FBI today as America’s most unwanted man
Menace: But first a word from our sponsor
Sponsor: Avoidable
Jackle: Next week, another word from our sponsor
Menace: Avoidable, isn’t that what a cow with a headache does?
Jackle: This week in PCW we’re about to hit a Pay Per View event, Collision Course
Menace: We’re not actually on the show as it’s screened live into the homes of PCW fans
Jackle: But we will be wrestling to warm up the crowd in what’s commonly known as a dark match
Menace: That’s not actually wrestling in the dark, but wrestling in a non televised match
Jackle: Although come to think of it, even if we were wrestling in the dark, we still wouldn’t have much improvement over our wrestling ability.
Menace: So who are we up against in this match?
Jackle: Why do you want to know?
Menace: Well for one thing, we need something to talk about.
Jackle: And for a second?
Menace: I want to know who we have to insult this week, and how we can do it
Jackle: Well our opponent from last week, Kris Kross will be in the match
Menace: I faked a bungee jump last week, so let’s just go for a simple version now
<* The two wait a moment before jumping into the air *>
Jackle: Second on the list, is Atlas McNighty
Menace: Hmm… wait here a second.
<* Menace walks off screen for a moment before walking back on with a laptop computer. He then promptly drops it on the floor and starts to stamp on it. Jackle soon joins in and the two stamp on this laptop computer for several seconds. *>
Jackle: What was that for?
Menace: That computer had Google Earth on it.
Jackle: Google Earth?
Menace: Only Atlas I know.
Jackle: Our last opponent…
Menace: Wait, last opponent? Is this a handicap match?
Jackle: No, it’s a battle royal.
Menace: Oh
Jackle: Anyway, our last opponent is Jade
Menace: Jade?
Jackle: That’s what I said
Menace: Hmm… I wonder exactly how we can make fun of that
Jackle: Stop speaking like you don’t know.
Menace: True… To the prop department
<* The 2Guys walk of screen with out us really knowing what they were insinuating. Unfortunately this isn’t where the screen fades to black and this whole thing is over, even thought that’s what we’d like. No, this promo continues when the 2Guys walk back on screen a moment or two later. At least we assume it’s the 2Guys. Thanks to some clever editing (which is really the only clever thing about this promo) by the editing department, the 2Guys have managed to walk off screen, go get changed into some costumes and come back all in the space of a second. So what costumes are they wearing I hear you not care? Well Jackle is wearing a ninja type costume, black mostly but with a blue waistcoat type thing over his top, and a blue ninja style mask over his face. Menace is wearing an identical costume but in yellow. *>
Menace: At last we will make ourselves know to the Jedi, At last we will have our revenge
<* This causes Jackle to smack Menace over the head. *>
Jackle: Stop doing your Darth Maul impression and start doing your Scorpion one.
Menace: There really isn’t much of an impression to do.
Jackle: There’s the name thing
Menace: But other than that…
<* The 2Guys sigh in disappointment for a moment. If I was in control of this I would have this promo end now (actually, if I was in control this promo would have never started), but unfortunately my luck isn’t that good as Menace gets a thought (rare I know, but he still gets one) *>
Menace: You know I just thought…
Jackle: Really? I didn’t think that was possible
Menace: Neither did I, still happened though
Jackle: So what was this thought?
Menace: We’re in a battle royal match right?
Jackle: Right
Menace: But I’ve never heard of a tag team competing in a battle royal with three other singles competitors
Jackle: Well no…
Menace: So does that mean we’re both in the match as singles wrestlers
Jackle: Yeah…?
Menace: We’ll doesn’t that mean we are, in essence, opponents in this match
Jackle: Yeah, I guess.
Menace: Wow. I don’t think this has ever happened before
Jackle: Nope, never.
Menace: But at least we know have a way to end this promo
Jackle: We do?
MORTAL KOMBAT
<* Yes, the Mortal Kombat theme starts playing out as both Jackle (as Sub-Zero) and Menace (As Scorpion) Square off against each other. *>
ROUND 1… FIGHT
<* And with that queue, the two start attacking each other. At first, we have MK style punches (camper than a row of tents… but then that’s no real different from the 2Guys fighting style anyway) that never connect to their target (even though the 2Guys act like they do), thrown in with a mix of the Mortal Kombat style special moves (sans special effects). Jackle/Sub-Zero throws his hands out like he’s trying to do Sub-Zero’s freeze special move, but there’s a lack of ice like particles thrown from his hand. Despite the lack of ice surrounding the affecting Menace, he still stands still like he’s been frozen. A quick punch gives the same effect as it does in the Mortal Kombat games, breaks the opponent out of their frozen state, and Menace is able to move again. Menace bends down and picks up a rope before throwing one end of it towards his tag partner. *>
Jackle: Am I supposed to catch this?
Menace: Yeah, it’s Scorpion’s spear attack
<* Jackle nods his head in acknowledgment and holds the rope to his heart area. He then acts like he’s been stabbed before Menace starts dragging him towards him. *>
Menace: Get Over Here!
<* Menace does an upper cut on Jackle that never connects, but Jackle starts reeling backwards. Jackle doesn’t exactly get the height that the Mortal Kombat characters get after receiving an uppercut, but that doesn’t stop Jackle acting like he has. After Jackle picks himself back off the floor he laid down on, Menace charges in and throws a punch. *>
Jackle: Ow man
Menace: Sorry
<* The punch Menace threw actually hit Jackle square in the face, while Menace apologises, Jackle decides to even the score with a punch of his own. Menace gets clocked and starts to do one of those laughs that people do after being hit, pretending to pass it off right before throwing a punch themselves. Well with Menace throwing a punch again, the 2Guys soon find themselves fighting for real with actual punches flying left right and center, most of which are connecting to people’s faces. It’s not long before Menace is winding up for a mega punch designed to knock out Jackle. The problem for Menace is that Jackle is winding up for his own punch. They both let them fly at the same time. *>
DOUBLE K.O
<* Yep, Jackle and Menace smashed their fists in each other’s faces at the same time, and now lie unconscious on the floor. Which just goes to show that even when they fight each other, neither of them can win. And with no chance of them waking up anytime soon, we can finally fade to black and end this thing. *>
Jackle: Hello, good evening and welcome to this, another 2Guys promotional video.
Menace: Later on in the program we were to be interviewing the star attraction of Lord George Davidson’s circus, Alfredo the human bomb. But we’ve just heard he’s gone off on holiday.
Jackle: But we will be brining you news on Arnold Clump, a six foot nine, ham-fisted hairy drunk with a short temper, bad breath, acne, dandruff and fleas who was named by the FBI today as America’s most unwanted man
Menace: But first a word from our sponsor
Sponsor: Avoidable
Jackle: Next week, another word from our sponsor
Menace: Avoidable, isn’t that what a cow with a headache does?
Jackle: This week in PCW we’re about to hit a Pay Per View event, Collision Course
Menace: We’re not actually on the show as it’s screened live into the homes of PCW fans
Jackle: But we will be wrestling to warm up the crowd in what’s commonly known as a dark match
Menace: That’s not actually wrestling in the dark, but wrestling in a non televised match
Jackle: Although come to think of it, even if we were wrestling in the dark, we still wouldn’t have much improvement over our wrestling ability.
Menace: So who are we up against in this match?
Jackle: Why do you want to know?
Menace: Well for one thing, we need something to talk about.
Jackle: And for a second?
Menace: I want to know who we have to insult this week, and how we can do it
Jackle: Well our opponent from last week, Kris Kross will be in the match
Menace: I faked a bungee jump last week, so let’s just go for a simple version now
<* The two wait a moment before jumping into the air *>
Jackle: Second on the list, is Atlas McNighty
Menace: Hmm… wait here a second.
<* Menace walks off screen for a moment before walking back on with a laptop computer. He then promptly drops it on the floor and starts to stamp on it. Jackle soon joins in and the two stamp on this laptop computer for several seconds. *>
Jackle: What was that for?
Menace: That computer had Google Earth on it.
Jackle: Google Earth?
Menace: Only Atlas I know.
Jackle: Our last opponent…
Menace: Wait, last opponent? Is this a handicap match?
Jackle: No, it’s a battle royal.
Menace: Oh
Jackle: Anyway, our last opponent is Jade
Menace: Jade?
Jackle: That’s what I said
Menace: Hmm… I wonder exactly how we can make fun of that
Jackle: Stop speaking like you don’t know.
Menace: True… To the prop department
<* The 2Guys walk of screen with out us really knowing what they were insinuating. Unfortunately this isn’t where the screen fades to black and this whole thing is over, even thought that’s what we’d like. No, this promo continues when the 2Guys walk back on screen a moment or two later. At least we assume it’s the 2Guys. Thanks to some clever editing (which is really the only clever thing about this promo) by the editing department, the 2Guys have managed to walk off screen, go get changed into some costumes and come back all in the space of a second. So what costumes are they wearing I hear you not care? Well Jackle is wearing a ninja type costume, black mostly but with a blue waistcoat type thing over his top, and a blue ninja style mask over his face. Menace is wearing an identical costume but in yellow. *>
Menace: At last we will make ourselves know to the Jedi, At last we will have our revenge
<* This causes Jackle to smack Menace over the head. *>
Jackle: Stop doing your Darth Maul impression and start doing your Scorpion one.
Menace: There really isn’t much of an impression to do.
Jackle: There’s the name thing
Menace: But other than that…
<* The 2Guys sigh in disappointment for a moment. If I was in control of this I would have this promo end now (actually, if I was in control this promo would have never started), but unfortunately my luck isn’t that good as Menace gets a thought (rare I know, but he still gets one) *>
Menace: You know I just thought…
Jackle: Really? I didn’t think that was possible
Menace: Neither did I, still happened though
Jackle: So what was this thought?
Menace: We’re in a battle royal match right?
Jackle: Right
Menace: But I’ve never heard of a tag team competing in a battle royal with three other singles competitors
Jackle: Well no…
Menace: So does that mean we’re both in the match as singles wrestlers
Jackle: Yeah…?
Menace: We’ll doesn’t that mean we are, in essence, opponents in this match
Jackle: Yeah, I guess.
Menace: Wow. I don’t think this has ever happened before
Jackle: Nope, never.
Menace: But at least we know have a way to end this promo
Jackle: We do?
MORTAL KOMBAT
<* Yes, the Mortal Kombat theme starts playing out as both Jackle (as Sub-Zero) and Menace (As Scorpion) Square off against each other. *>
ROUND 1… FIGHT
<* And with that queue, the two start attacking each other. At first, we have MK style punches (camper than a row of tents… but then that’s no real different from the 2Guys fighting style anyway) that never connect to their target (even though the 2Guys act like they do), thrown in with a mix of the Mortal Kombat style special moves (sans special effects). Jackle/Sub-Zero throws his hands out like he’s trying to do Sub-Zero’s freeze special move, but there’s a lack of ice like particles thrown from his hand. Despite the lack of ice surrounding the affecting Menace, he still stands still like he’s been frozen. A quick punch gives the same effect as it does in the Mortal Kombat games, breaks the opponent out of their frozen state, and Menace is able to move again. Menace bends down and picks up a rope before throwing one end of it towards his tag partner. *>
Jackle: Am I supposed to catch this?
Menace: Yeah, it’s Scorpion’s spear attack
<* Jackle nods his head in acknowledgment and holds the rope to his heart area. He then acts like he’s been stabbed before Menace starts dragging him towards him. *>
Menace: Get Over Here!
<* Menace does an upper cut on Jackle that never connects, but Jackle starts reeling backwards. Jackle doesn’t exactly get the height that the Mortal Kombat characters get after receiving an uppercut, but that doesn’t stop Jackle acting like he has. After Jackle picks himself back off the floor he laid down on, Menace charges in and throws a punch. *>
Jackle: Ow man
Menace: Sorry
<* The punch Menace threw actually hit Jackle square in the face, while Menace apologises, Jackle decides to even the score with a punch of his own. Menace gets clocked and starts to do one of those laughs that people do after being hit, pretending to pass it off right before throwing a punch themselves. Well with Menace throwing a punch again, the 2Guys soon find themselves fighting for real with actual punches flying left right and center, most of which are connecting to people’s faces. It’s not long before Menace is winding up for a mega punch designed to knock out Jackle. The problem for Menace is that Jackle is winding up for his own punch. They both let them fly at the same time. *>
DOUBLE K.O
<* Yep, Jackle and Menace smashed their fists in each other’s faces at the same time, and now lie unconscious on the floor. Which just goes to show that even when they fight each other, neither of them can win. And with no chance of them waking up anytime soon, we can finally fade to black and end this thing. *>
