The Havoc Chronicle :: Number Four

[Stormm]

Chapter III
Perfect Conditions

I[/size] couldn't have asked for a more perfect night than what I experienced on this night. The calm air under the clear sky was not hot, it was not humid, and it was far from being cold as well. It was one of those nights that you could just sit outside and enjoy without a care in the world. But that's where my line is drawn. For me not to have a care in the world is pushing it, and I'm far from being a conflicted man. I just can't go a day without something crossing my mind that either worries me, or makes me think too much.

So there I was, taking in the Atlanta late night skyline, as I leaned over the balcony railing. The not quite full moon lit up the sky, and the landscape, quite nicely, and almost brought a glow to my slightly tanned skin, as well as just about any object you could fix your eyes on. The sliding glass door behind me was open, and leads into the living room of my condo. All the lights inside of my place were turned off, but the light of the moon managed to light up a portion of the inside quite nicely as it shined through the wall of windows that lines that side of my condo.

Glancing out into the streets down below, it was apparent to me that Atlanta was winding down. The traffic was sparse, but the one aspect to heed when thinking of the city winding down was the number of sirens you could hear going off, and how often those sirens were heard. At this point, it had been a good thirty minutes since this part of town had heard any sirens, which not only is a good sign, but also a way to tell that the city was going to sleep, as much as it would go anyway.

Calm and relaxing would be how I wanted to be at this point, but I couldn't bear not having something to spend my time thinking about. After all, Lindsay had gone back home to Accident to repack some things, spend a little time by herself, and get a few things organized in her life. The phone conversation we had a couple hours previous was the only point in which I had someone, other than myself, to speak with.

Granted, I had already addressed my thoughts to her on the phone, and she had done her part to assure me that I was going to be ok, and that I would do fine, but I always have my doubts. I'm just that kind of "what if" person. To be honest, it had almost become a ritual to me before and after each event I partook in to worry about something. My knee giving out on me would be one of the biggest worries I have had. After all, it's not everyday you see someone who's quad, in the same leg mind you, has torn twice, and they've walked after the second operation, let alone continued to use it like I do.

Honestly, I felt in better shape now than I did the last time I was holding any sort of gold in the profession. To give you a time frame here, it was at the latest, two thousand three, since I had seen that kind of accomplishment, and that may pushing it. To be as forthright as I can, it might have been two thousand two, I'm not really sure. Time had flown by so slowly as I found myself stuck in an office, anything that I've done since starting my career has kind of blended together when it comes to dates, unless you are asking me about the now.

A date that does come to mind right now, though, would be May twenty-first, two thousand six. It was the date that I returned to the squared circle again. A return that I believe showed every Stormm mark a more dedicated side to me. I returned, after a three month absence, and wrestled to a no decision with three wrestlers that have lots of potential. Basically it was a match that could be said as breaking my losing streak here in PCW.

Now since my return, and what I like to think of as being one of the better matches I've had here in PCW, I've found myself on the upside of things. I left here a man who thought he knew better. I also left here back in February a depressed man when it came to a disappointing one win and three loss record. Since, I've found myself evening out those number to three wins and three loses with one tie, and I can only see myself looking up from here on out.

I was looking up indeed, as I found myself in sort of a trance as I glared at the not quite full moon. What had brought me back was the sound of a police siren, and a smile came to my face. 'That figures.' I said to myself, one of the only words I would find myself speaking the rest of the night. Becoming slightly uncomfortable leaning against the metal railing, however, I decided to sit down in one of the four chairs that were placed on the rather large balcony. It wasn't long before I found myself lost in contemplation once more.

To think back to the conversation I had earlier with Lindsay, I wondered what it would feel like to balance out the bad I've had in PCW, the three match losing streak, with some good here. That good would just happen to be a three match winning streak. This would be made possible with a win over The Byrd this week. A man, who with time allowed, would have been the one giving me the pin and three count to win the Genesis Championship back at Collision Course. So what's there to worry about? After all, he was almost on the losing end of that match with Mark Brown. Not to mention that Mark Brown had just fallen this week to a man who, once again with time, would have won as well by making Mr. Brown tap out.

It was quite the little deal The Captain had put together to find out once and for all who our Genesis Champion would end up being. You know, the four of us competing in the small single elimination tournament to decide the champion. Rodney had already made it through his semi-final match, so he would be waiting on a winner from me and Byrd's match. I was the favorite, or so I heard, considering it was me and Phoenix going for the win at the end of the match at Collision Course, I surely wouldn't have to worry about anything. I mean, after all, I had basically made it through this obstacle once; I could surely make it through it again. Well, this is where that line comes into play. What if? How about that? Don't you think I should rethink that? Anything I can do to second guess myself. After analyzing myself in these situations, though, I've only come to one conclusion as to why my sub-conscious ends up telling me to not think all positive thoughts. That reason being, it doesn't cause a bad reaction from me when I do lose.

Now where does this sound familiar? A World Championship match lost, and then a flee from action for three months? Unfortunately, at that time, my sub-conscious wasn't functioning properly. Luckily enough, nonetheless, the time I spent in Kansas allowed more than wounds to heal. I'm back, right?

Correct! I was back, not only to competition, but to second guessing myself, and not allowing myself to be set up for bigger falls. Even when I have people around me who give nothing but positive feedback about my career, much like little miss Matthews, I can't help but think these bad thoughts, and quite frankly, I prefer it this way. Don't get me wrong, I like to win and be successful, it's just not in my normal nature to think I'm going to win.

Sure, it's a little hypocritical, but when it's been apart of the wrestler I have become over the last nine years of my life and career, who's to stop me from being like this? I know I don't want to!

Coming to the conclusion that I had second guessed myself enough for one night, I decided to call it for now, and head back inside. Closing the sliding glass door behind me, I allowed the moonlight to guide me down the hallway to my bedroom. Sleep sounded so good at this point, and with second guessing thoughts out of my mind for now, I was ready for the much needed rest.

But, what if I did lose to The Byrd? What if I win?! Sure, I want to win, but what if I lose? Hell, I might lose, but what if I do win?

The Hell with it, no matter the outcome, it's just another chapter in this story I like to call life.