Post by Andy D on Jun 20, 2006 15:22:19 GMT -5
<* It’s chaos this week, absolute chaos. And for once I’m not talking about the content of the of the 2Guys promotional video (well not exclusively anyway). This week PCW are holding one of those one time only, special gimmick shows that promotions pull out to try and boost ratings without saying they’re trying to boost ratings. On Trauma this week there will be nothing but tag team matches as 8 teams are randomly drawn against each other to fight for the right to face off for the vacant Tag Team Titles at the next pay per view, Return to Glory. Now that the unnecessary recap is out of the way, let’s get on with this. Contrary to popular (not a word I’d associate with the 2Guys) belief, the 2Guys will this week not be in front of the Generic Promotional Background they usually cut promo’s from. Instead, we’d thought we’d introduce you to something every wrester seems to have these days, Side Characters. The Side Character is usually defined as one that is not part of the wrestling promotion itself, but appear in wrestler’s promos, usually giving us an insight into their lives and enhancing their character. The 2Guys have their own side character, who appear from time to time in promos, mainly to stop the 2Guys insulting themselves by doing it for them. With the fact that the random drawing means that the 2Guys don’t know who they’re facing this week (although that’s no real different from any other week), we thought we’d take the time to introduce you to some of the side characters you could be seeing (or referenced) in future 2Guys promos. *>
Location:
Ace Dagger Enterprises Headquarters
Somewhere in the United Kingdom
<* The legend above tells us where we are, because the hallway the 2Guys were walking down wasn’t exactly a dead give away. ADE (as Ace Dagger Enterprises will often be known) will be explained more at length later on. The main thing that you have to know is that that ADE is mainly a wrestling management agency that the 2Guys belong to (and so does everyone else you’ll meet). *>
Menace: I tell you we missed two parodies last week.
Jackle: You’ve mentioned. The Legend of Zelda parody for that blue haired elf, but how does the Matrix work into it
Menace: Because the other one was Mr. Anderson. Better known in the matrix movies as Neo. All we had to do was dress up as Agent Smith, do a couple of slow-mo gags and it would have been golden.
Jackle: Yeah well we didn’t do that, so it’s no use talking about it.
Menace: What if we ever face them again?
Jackle: We’ll lose again
<* Menace nods his head in agreement as the two come to a stop at a door. The sign on the door reads ‘Owner’s Office. Ace Dagger’. Now I know what you’re thinking (there is no way that this narrator is psychic and knows what I’m thinking)... Indeed he does have the same first name (or moniker) as the ex PCW Champion and current contender for the aforementioned title. As a result, our owner of ADE will usually be referred to as Mr. Dagger. He will not be referred to as Ace to avoid confusion with the PCW wrestling star. Back to the action, the 2Guys knock on the door and await an answer before walking into the room. Inside is a basic office set up, drab coloured walls, worse coloured carpet, small window high up on the wall with bars on it to stop employee’s throwing themselves out of it, a filing cabinet in one corner of the room and a fake wooden desk near the back wall with two chairs between it and the door. Sitting in the fake leather chair behind the desk is a man in his late twenties/early thirties with short black hair. His height and weight is tough to estimate with him sitting behind a desk, but it’s easy to see he has an athletic build. *>
Menace: So, what’s up?
<* Mr. Dagger looks up from the papers that he was working with to stare at the grinning faces of the 2Guys standing in his office. *>
Mr. Dagger: Oh great, just what I needed.
<* I like Mr. Dagger. And it’s not because he pays my checks (which he doesn’t as I don’t actually get paid for doing this). When it comes to the 2Guys, he’s sarcastic like me, he pessimistic like me and most of all he hates the 2Guys like me. *>
Mr. Dagger: Ok let’s get this over with. Just take a seat you two.
<* The 2Guys look at each other for a moment before shrugging their shoulders and doing what they are told. They each grab a chair and carry it out of the room. Mr. Dagger watches this event in disbelief, shrugs his shoulders when he realises that this stupid twist on words by the 2Guys means that Mr. Dagger can avoid a headache.*>
Jackle: So where do you think he wanted us to take these chairs
Menace: Don’t know, let’s just keep walking until we find somewhere.
<* Back to following the 2Guys walking down a hallway, this time with each of them carrying a chair. We watch them walk for a little while until they pass an open door. *>
Voice from inside the room with the open door: Ah, just who I wanted to see… ok, want is not exactly the word I’d use.
<* With that female voice jarring the 2Guys out of their auto piloted walking, they stop and look inside the room they just passed. Inside they see a red-haired, business suited, five foot eight vision of beauty (in her mid to late twenties, if you wanted to know). Ah, The Lovely Jennifer Main, CEO of ADE and technically the manager of the 2Guys. What I wouldn’t do to be with her. But she would never out with someone who is not sophisticated, wealthy, and an equal vision of beauty she is. And of course there’s that restraining order she has against me. *>
Jen: Come in and… why are you carrying chairs?
Menace: Mr. Dagger told us to take a seat
Jen: Oh, where did he want you to take… never mind, just come in and sit down.
<* Doing as they’re told, the 2Guys walk into the room, place the chairs down and sit on them. Jen takes a moment as she goes around her desk (you can tell it’s hers because of the plaque that sits on it which says ‘CEO Jennifer Main’) and sits in her chair (which you can tell is hers because she’s sitting in it). *>
Jen: Ok, so this week is a special tag team tournament in PCW.
Jackle: Tag team? Our specialty
Menace: I thought our specialty was losing
Jackle: Touché
Jen: There will be eight teams competing. The winning teams of the first four matches will meet in the final two matches of Trauma. The two winners of those face off against each other for the Tag Titles at the PPV.
Jackle: Cool.
Menace: Yeah, even if we don’t make it out of the first round.
Jackle: So, who’s kicking our asses this week then?
Jen: Well that’s the thing, the drawing is random and will be made on the night
Menace: Oh, well tell us all the teams competing then
<* Jen pauses for a second, unsure on exactly how to tell them the news. *>
Jen: See that’s the thing, the teams are going to be randomly selected too
Jackle: Wow, that’s kind of cool
Menace: Yeah, we’ll never know what team combinations we could come up with
Jen: Guys, you are also included in the random drawing. As a result, you might not be teamed with each other
<* There’s a long pause here where if you listen closely, you can hear the small fragile world of the 2Guys shatter into a million pieces. *>
Jackle: We might not be teamed…
Menace: But we’re always teamed
Jackle: Except in singles matches
Menace: But those don’t count
<* There’s a brief pause as the 2Guys try to cope with the concept of being on two different tag teams… which they fail to. *>
Jackle: But there’s a chance we could be teamed up, right Jen?
Jen: Well with sixteen people being put into the hat, the chances of you two being teamed up is about one in one hundred and twenty
Jackle: Never tell me the odds!
Jen: And never do that bad impression of Han Solo again
Menace: What’s that in percent?
<* Jen grabs a calculator of her desk and works it out. *>
Jan: Um… zero point eight three. Actually that three is recurring but I didn’t want to confuse you too much.
Menace: Zero point eight three recurring? That’s a better odds than us winning a match
Jackle: Never tell me the odds
Jen: What did I say about that Han Solo impression?
Jackle: Umm… that you liked it?
Jen: If all you two are going to do is mess about, you can get out of my office
Menace: Jennifer… when do we do anything but mess about?
Jen: Ok, I walked into that one. Now get out of my office.
<* And with that, Jackle and Menace walk out of Jen’s office, and we’ll fade to black and end this. We would have shown you two other potential side characters right now, but we’ve run out of time so you’ll have to meet them some other time. Maybe. I don’t know, maybe you wont meet them. Maybe you’ll never see Mr. Dagger and Jennifer Main ever again. Or Maybe you will. Who really knows? All I know is that if the 2Guys beat the odds and get teamed together then they have no chance of winning the titles. And if they get teamed with someone else, well it’s going to be a one man team as far as they’re partners are concerned… the 2Guys may be so mentally shattered they may not even move. Or maybe they’ll actually win a match. Who knows. All I know is I’ve done too much talking so I’d best go. *>
Location:
Ace Dagger Enterprises Headquarters
Somewhere in the United Kingdom
<* The legend above tells us where we are, because the hallway the 2Guys were walking down wasn’t exactly a dead give away. ADE (as Ace Dagger Enterprises will often be known) will be explained more at length later on. The main thing that you have to know is that that ADE is mainly a wrestling management agency that the 2Guys belong to (and so does everyone else you’ll meet). *>
Menace: I tell you we missed two parodies last week.
Jackle: You’ve mentioned. The Legend of Zelda parody for that blue haired elf, but how does the Matrix work into it
Menace: Because the other one was Mr. Anderson. Better known in the matrix movies as Neo. All we had to do was dress up as Agent Smith, do a couple of slow-mo gags and it would have been golden.
Jackle: Yeah well we didn’t do that, so it’s no use talking about it.
Menace: What if we ever face them again?
Jackle: We’ll lose again
<* Menace nods his head in agreement as the two come to a stop at a door. The sign on the door reads ‘Owner’s Office. Ace Dagger’. Now I know what you’re thinking (there is no way that this narrator is psychic and knows what I’m thinking)... Indeed he does have the same first name (or moniker) as the ex PCW Champion and current contender for the aforementioned title. As a result, our owner of ADE will usually be referred to as Mr. Dagger. He will not be referred to as Ace to avoid confusion with the PCW wrestling star. Back to the action, the 2Guys knock on the door and await an answer before walking into the room. Inside is a basic office set up, drab coloured walls, worse coloured carpet, small window high up on the wall with bars on it to stop employee’s throwing themselves out of it, a filing cabinet in one corner of the room and a fake wooden desk near the back wall with two chairs between it and the door. Sitting in the fake leather chair behind the desk is a man in his late twenties/early thirties with short black hair. His height and weight is tough to estimate with him sitting behind a desk, but it’s easy to see he has an athletic build. *>
Menace: So, what’s up?
<* Mr. Dagger looks up from the papers that he was working with to stare at the grinning faces of the 2Guys standing in his office. *>
Mr. Dagger: Oh great, just what I needed.
<* I like Mr. Dagger. And it’s not because he pays my checks (which he doesn’t as I don’t actually get paid for doing this). When it comes to the 2Guys, he’s sarcastic like me, he pessimistic like me and most of all he hates the 2Guys like me. *>
Mr. Dagger: Ok let’s get this over with. Just take a seat you two.
<* The 2Guys look at each other for a moment before shrugging their shoulders and doing what they are told. They each grab a chair and carry it out of the room. Mr. Dagger watches this event in disbelief, shrugs his shoulders when he realises that this stupid twist on words by the 2Guys means that Mr. Dagger can avoid a headache.*>
Jackle: So where do you think he wanted us to take these chairs
Menace: Don’t know, let’s just keep walking until we find somewhere.
<* Back to following the 2Guys walking down a hallway, this time with each of them carrying a chair. We watch them walk for a little while until they pass an open door. *>
Voice from inside the room with the open door: Ah, just who I wanted to see… ok, want is not exactly the word I’d use.
<* With that female voice jarring the 2Guys out of their auto piloted walking, they stop and look inside the room they just passed. Inside they see a red-haired, business suited, five foot eight vision of beauty (in her mid to late twenties, if you wanted to know). Ah, The Lovely Jennifer Main, CEO of ADE and technically the manager of the 2Guys. What I wouldn’t do to be with her. But she would never out with someone who is not sophisticated, wealthy, and an equal vision of beauty she is. And of course there’s that restraining order she has against me. *>
Jen: Come in and… why are you carrying chairs?
Menace: Mr. Dagger told us to take a seat
Jen: Oh, where did he want you to take… never mind, just come in and sit down.
<* Doing as they’re told, the 2Guys walk into the room, place the chairs down and sit on them. Jen takes a moment as she goes around her desk (you can tell it’s hers because of the plaque that sits on it which says ‘CEO Jennifer Main’) and sits in her chair (which you can tell is hers because she’s sitting in it). *>
Jen: Ok, so this week is a special tag team tournament in PCW.
Jackle: Tag team? Our specialty
Menace: I thought our specialty was losing
Jackle: Touché
Jen: There will be eight teams competing. The winning teams of the first four matches will meet in the final two matches of Trauma. The two winners of those face off against each other for the Tag Titles at the PPV.
Jackle: Cool.
Menace: Yeah, even if we don’t make it out of the first round.
Jackle: So, who’s kicking our asses this week then?
Jen: Well that’s the thing, the drawing is random and will be made on the night
Menace: Oh, well tell us all the teams competing then
<* Jen pauses for a second, unsure on exactly how to tell them the news. *>
Jen: See that’s the thing, the teams are going to be randomly selected too
Jackle: Wow, that’s kind of cool
Menace: Yeah, we’ll never know what team combinations we could come up with
Jen: Guys, you are also included in the random drawing. As a result, you might not be teamed with each other
<* There’s a long pause here where if you listen closely, you can hear the small fragile world of the 2Guys shatter into a million pieces. *>
Jackle: We might not be teamed…
Menace: But we’re always teamed
Jackle: Except in singles matches
Menace: But those don’t count
<* There’s a brief pause as the 2Guys try to cope with the concept of being on two different tag teams… which they fail to. *>
Jackle: But there’s a chance we could be teamed up, right Jen?
Jen: Well with sixteen people being put into the hat, the chances of you two being teamed up is about one in one hundred and twenty
Jackle: Never tell me the odds!
Jen: And never do that bad impression of Han Solo again
Menace: What’s that in percent?
<* Jen grabs a calculator of her desk and works it out. *>
Jan: Um… zero point eight three. Actually that three is recurring but I didn’t want to confuse you too much.
Menace: Zero point eight three recurring? That’s a better odds than us winning a match
Jackle: Never tell me the odds
Jen: What did I say about that Han Solo impression?
Jackle: Umm… that you liked it?
Jen: If all you two are going to do is mess about, you can get out of my office
Menace: Jennifer… when do we do anything but mess about?
Jen: Ok, I walked into that one. Now get out of my office.
<* And with that, Jackle and Menace walk out of Jen’s office, and we’ll fade to black and end this. We would have shown you two other potential side characters right now, but we’ve run out of time so you’ll have to meet them some other time. Maybe. I don’t know, maybe you wont meet them. Maybe you’ll never see Mr. Dagger and Jennifer Main ever again. Or Maybe you will. Who really knows? All I know is that if the 2Guys beat the odds and get teamed together then they have no chance of winning the titles. And if they get teamed with someone else, well it’s going to be a one man team as far as they’re partners are concerned… the 2Guys may be so mentally shattered they may not even move. Or maybe they’ll actually win a match. Who knows. All I know is I’ve done too much talking so I’d best go. *>
