Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2006 16:32:12 GMT -5
IN LAIMAN’S TERMS – EDITION 1
Trauma [53] – July 18th, 2006
Greetings, all you out there in Cyber Space, and welcome to the first edition of “In Laiman’s Terms”… Well, the first PCW edition of “In Laiman’s Terms” anyway… I ran this column on Lords of Pain for a while, but that was with the stuff on the TV box and the movin’ pictures. This is a new breed of column writing for the Universal One, and not the kind of new breed that WWECW is. In this column, you’ll get no Test pushes, Kelly Kelly segments, or wretchedly boring Mike Knox matches. No, instead you’ll get the musings of a character still stuck at the end of the Attitude Era and the days of in-ring promos and interview segments only. None of this ultra-creative crap like you PCWers are doing today. We knew how to RP, dammit!
OOC NOTE: That was the cessation of anything even remotely considered out-of-character. All of the following is completely in-character, and hopefully for your entertainment. Don’t take anything personally; it’s all in good fun. Move forth, Silver.
Anyway, got on a bit of a rant there… What was the buildup for this week’s Trauma? I suppose we could say it was the fallout from the fallout of Return to Glory. Three things are for certain heading into Deception. One, Grimm and… um… that Polish guy really don’t like each other. Two, the International and World titles will be combined into one. Three, and not necessarily least importantly, the theme song selected by yours truly, “Deception” by the Cruxshadows, rocks my freaking Laiman face off. Would there be more developments for Deception, and would more contenders make their case for the Icey Awards, heading into the deadline for the awards show extravaganza of the half year?
NO LOVE FOR THE ARTISTS
Opening the show, certainly one of the parts the fans look forward to the most. A chance to show off their misspelled and unoriginal signs to the cameras just to show off to their friends that they were there, and what do we get instead? The return of the girly girl who was around for about a month a little while ago, but nevertheless is visually appealing. Word is that Kaden Keene has been repeatedly putting in a bid, mistaking the lovely lady for an auction. Kelly Kelly from ECW offered services for a quarter, but like in her segments on WWECW, no one was really paying attention.
BACK AT ONE
In a likely foolish decision, Atlas decided to show up for this match. More guts than brains, I’ll give him that, but even I wouldn’t step foot in the ring with Grimm after he lost to Mikey Wright after successfully keeping him down for the last six months. The in-ring action itself… Um… What’s the best way to describe this half-minute segway some people may call a match… Chris Tucker may have said it best. “You got knocked the fuck out!” Lasie may end up fearing the reaper.
NO-CALL, NO-SHOW
Some of us got fired for this in previous jobs. However, in the PCW world, it merely means you get a slap on the wrist and an “L” next to your name. Havik gets a chance to show his stuff in his debut, but instead gets to stand in the ring and wonder if he has milk in the fridge while the bell tolls ten. Not sure why DarkFalls blanked after that promising debut video package from last week’s Trauma. Let’s just hope he didn’t get a flu shot, because we all know all that does is give you a cold for 365 days. You never get the flu, cause you always have a cold. However, if that’s the case, he could bring in some advertising revenue in the stead by doing plugs for Daytime NyQuil.
ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD
Meanwhile backstage, James Keenan gives us all an important lesson to not do your Johnny Vivacious pre-match impressions. Slurring more than Captain Jack Sparrow after even he’s had a few too many, Kaden takes care of his little boy and warns him to stay in the back. After all, Kaden is about to engage in a long and epic battle with the greatest and most dangerous tag team in Pure Class Wrestling history… or something like that.
HOGAN’S GONNA SUE SOMEONE
Kaden, in a true testament to bravery, decides to stand up to these vicious monsters himself. Then again, it’s possible he could’ve just been avoiding coming to the ring and being part of a TEAM called ICON. However, it would be somewhat interesting to see 2Guys delineate over which is the icon and which is the sidekick. Instead, Kaden Keene again earns the respect that he demands and proves that he’s soon going to be a vital threat in the PCW landscape before very long. With the addition of a sober James Keenan, it’ll make for a very competitive showdown for the tag team titles at Deception if it’s booked, which hasn’t happened since Lantlas and Sinn were tearing it up in that particular division a few months ago. Four very competent superstars collectively in action? The main event won’t be the only moneymaker in Deception, I can promise you that!
A(ce)MOS AND ANDY
It’s always good to see a former HHW talent revert back to his old ways of self-loathing and self-pity. I guess losing a title match to Non Compos Mentis at a Pay-Per-View can have that effect on people. Trust me, I would know. Anyhow, in the first actual competitive match-up of the evening, Ace does what he does best, which is making it look like an opponent lower on the card actually stands a chance against the former Greatness in the Flesh. Andy Douglas brings out his assortment of moves used by various WWF wrestlers in 1998 in a non-Eugene fashion. I do find it ironic that Douglas uses a finisher entitled “Kill Me Now” while he’s trying to hurt someone else. You’d figure a move with self-danger included might be something like a ninja-diving head-butt, where paralysis could occur and his wish could be granted.
As we’re all getting into the match, Captain James Sparrow himself approaches the ring. Wasting a perfectly good electric guitar, he smashes it over Ace’s head when a simple broken bottle would’ve done the trick. I would’ve bought the guitar if you wanted to get rid of it that freaking bad, Keenan. Holy hell. So, in a rather disappointing fashion, Ace Anderson earns his fortieth win here in PCW, and Anthony Douglas will likely be enraged. Ace will have a headache. Kaden will offer Advil. Kelly Kelly will attempt to cure with a striptease, but once again, no one will notice.
GO NINJA, GO NINJA, GO!
Just when we thought something interesting might be approaching, Mikey Wright shows up to prove his bravery and aptitude by promising to likely NOT show up to the main event this evening. In the process, he also complains about a lack of celebratory time because of the main-event announcement for Deception, and boy, do I know how you feel, man. Last time I only had almost a month to celebrate a title victory, sheesh… He must’ve bought the excuse that all his friends were washing their hair again. Then, after more self-affirming crowd-pleasers, he reminds us of his ability to be honest at appropriate times by noting that the fans don’t want to see him there. Good to know you’re paying attention a tad, Mikey. There goes perfect attendance for the semester! That will show on your transcripts, young man. We never wanted to see Blade every week, but by God, we got it whether we wanted it or not! What makes you so special that you can deprive us of what we don’t want to see anyway?
DOINK THE PEGZ
Somehow, when I hear the name “Gambit” announced, I can’t help but think a recording of the “Jabberwocky” would be read aloud instead of entrance music… Not that I’m implying that statement has any relevance whatsoever to the show, but sometimes I like to amuse myself. Bringing a sigh of relief to the anxious crowd, again this match is more competitive than those they saw in the opening parts of the show. Pegasus proves he might still have what it takes to be a force to be reckoned with in PCW, while Lasie looks to follow in the road of Kaden Keene, making a mark as an impressive newcomer. However, in a hefty dose of karma, the reaper returns. As the Gambit attempts to pick a fight with the man, he costs himself the match, and everyone in the arena is just as surprised as Pegasus is when he’s announced the winner.
LET’S GET IT EMO IN HERE!
Another prime specimen of the recent batch of rookies, Chris Corvade, despite showing potential, hasn’t been quite able to catch a break so far in PCW. Perhaps it’s a bit of bad luck to end up squaring off with the man who’s been on a tear as of late, and indeed it turned out to be. Corvade likely needs to take some time to re-evaluate his offensive strategy; cause NCM just had a counter for everything. Kudos for studying up on your opponent, Mentis. NCM catches the victory with the Lollipop Driver and continues on his almost-streak.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR PLAYA PEGZ THE CLOWN?
In an event I had yet to discover, wrestlers can get faxes backstage. I guess a text message would’ve been too difficult, and the vibration likely would’ve made Pegz paranoid that Bucky Joe might be coming for revenge. In a true moment of suspense, we see the expression on the face of the playa himself. What’s in store next week for the man of weekly gimmicks? Will the third one prove to be the essential boost to earn Pegasus a pinfall? Let’s just hope, for the sake of all of us with vision, that we won’t have to see Pegasus the Kelly Imitator. The ratings will plummet worse than a Brooke Hogan music video marathon in place of the advertised Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin elimination match.
IT’S A BIRD, IT’S A PLANE, OR IS IT A PHOENIX? (Um, sir... A phoenix is a bird, isn't it?)
I’ll give credit where it’s due, and say that Rodney Phoenix had a helluva lot of guts to show up alone to face his archrival and the world champion. Who would’ve thought that the Elven Warrior and the Eye of the Stormm would’ve worked so well together? Phoenix indeed puts up an admirable effort, but when you’ve got two talented superstars who are both on top of their game, it’s hard to overcome. With some very impressive tag team moves from Stormm and Lantlas, Michaels finally gets one-up on the Genesis champion, and Lantlas earns his twenty-third victory.
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER
As the two are announced the victors, Mikey decides that maybe his presence was important for the match in which he was booked. However, he was a bit too late, and covered for it by applauding the winners of the match in a mocking fashion. A nice hint to what the main event at Deception will be like, and I’m sure we’ll all be on the edge of our seats when these two finally have their showdown.
…
WHAT’S NEXT FOR PCW?
Trauma [54] rolls in the week before the famed Icey Awards. Who needs wrestling when you can get Oscar speeches? The card for next week’s show is stacked, so let’s take a look and weigh the odds of who will be emerging the victor in the seven matches booked for this week.
TWO GUYS, A GIRL, AND A TAG MATCH
Jade makes her slightly-hyped return as part of a team with the Mario and Luigi of PCW. In the other corner, Team Random will likely need separate entrances to satiate their feelings about themselves. Atlas and Non Compos Mentis will likely see each other for the first time, and DarkFalls hopefully will set his alarm clock this week. Despite the roll on which NCM has been, I’ll give the edge to the team who will guarantee that all three members will indeed show up.
WINNERS: JADE AND 2GUYS
THE FIVE-LETTERED ONE-NAME WONDERS
Havik won’t have it so easy this week, as he’s got a pissed off reaper to deal with. It’s safe to say that Atlas didn’t know what hit him, given that he’ll probably emerge a pretty butterfly in his head just before the drugs kick in to wake him up. Since I know nothing of Havik’s previous in-ring work, and since Grimm made two appearances while Havik essentially got the week off, I’d say motivation is the x-factor in this contest.
WINNER: GRIMM
STORMM CLOUD
Justin Michaels was impressive in his main-event match this past week. He was, however, teamed with the world champion in a handicapped match. Not taking anything away from Stormm’s abilities, but he’s not going to have a plan B on which to fall back this time. The Jabberwock will likely be out to prove his loss last week was a fluke, and in some poetic verses and creepy backdrops, Lasie will make this match interesting. However, I see Grimm getting involved once again, and I don’t know if Lasie will learn his lesson about leaving the ring before the match is over.
WINNER: JUSTIN “STORMM” MICHAELS
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUKEN WRESTLER?
I’m surprised this wasn’t booked as a bar-room brawl, given that neither of these individuals have done anything to hide their alcohol intake in recent weeks. Keenan was showing promise before he started teaming with Kaden, but despite his little slump as of late, I think he’ll recover in time to put on a good show. Douglas will have to adjust his gameplan to pull off a victory here.
WINNER: JAMES KEENAN
REBEL YELL
In what can be construed as nothing less than irony, the Boy Meets World heartthrob himself will make his long-awaited return against Pegasus, who will be dressed like Mr. Hunter was, at least in the first four seasons when he still lived in the trailer park. This will be a contest over which is bigger; Pegasus’s desire to not be humiliated, or Sean Hunter believing his own legend. My gut says that the kicker of asses for the Lord just won’t be able to harm the boy without fangirls scratching at his face.
WINNER: SEAN HUNTER
THE ART OF ICONITUDE
Before predicting the winner, my pre-show prediction is definitely the match of the night! Ace, coming off his fortieth win, and Keene, coming off another impressive performance, will collide near the end of the show in what will likely be a true crowd pleaser. I expect this match to go longer than fifteen minutes, and more than one finisher to be dealt. Given that his opponent is not named Lantlas or Mikey Wright, I see Kaden giving the former champion a helluva run, but Ace exemplifying the finish… Twice if necessary.
WINNER: ACE ANDERSON
WHEN TAG TEAMS GO BAD
Okay, so they weren’t really a tag team. That’s probably a good thing, given that these two mesh as well as Survivor contestants with the native inhabitants who already live on the island. They’ll have a chance to take out their aggression on each other while they highlight the main event with what can only be described as the potential future of the industry. However, keeping within consistency, there is a blue-haired man in the main event of Trauma, so all is well in the PCW world. It’s also champion vs. champion, and I don’t see Mikey Wright letting one slip away before his potential world title reign.
WINNER: “MR. SHOWTIME” MIKEY WRIGHT
In conclusion, I’d like to remind you that Al Laiman will do anything to keep his two-and-a-half readers glued to their screens with weekly anticipation. And one of those things will be answering letters. So, if you’ve got something to ask Al Laiman about upcoming events in PCW, questioning his predictions, or just have something that died up your ass and need to yell at someone who can’t hit you back, write to Al Laiman by clicking on the highlighted name and sending a private message to yours truly. Responses guaranteed in next week’s column. And remember, it’s in Laiman’s Terms.
Trauma [53] – July 18th, 2006
Greetings, all you out there in Cyber Space, and welcome to the first edition of “In Laiman’s Terms”… Well, the first PCW edition of “In Laiman’s Terms” anyway… I ran this column on Lords of Pain for a while, but that was with the stuff on the TV box and the movin’ pictures. This is a new breed of column writing for the Universal One, and not the kind of new breed that WWECW is. In this column, you’ll get no Test pushes, Kelly Kelly segments, or wretchedly boring Mike Knox matches. No, instead you’ll get the musings of a character still stuck at the end of the Attitude Era and the days of in-ring promos and interview segments only. None of this ultra-creative crap like you PCWers are doing today. We knew how to RP, dammit!
OOC NOTE: That was the cessation of anything even remotely considered out-of-character. All of the following is completely in-character, and hopefully for your entertainment. Don’t take anything personally; it’s all in good fun. Move forth, Silver.
Anyway, got on a bit of a rant there… What was the buildup for this week’s Trauma? I suppose we could say it was the fallout from the fallout of Return to Glory. Three things are for certain heading into Deception. One, Grimm and… um… that Polish guy really don’t like each other. Two, the International and World titles will be combined into one. Three, and not necessarily least importantly, the theme song selected by yours truly, “Deception” by the Cruxshadows, rocks my freaking Laiman face off. Would there be more developments for Deception, and would more contenders make their case for the Icey Awards, heading into the deadline for the awards show extravaganza of the half year?
NO LOVE FOR THE ARTISTS
Opening the show, certainly one of the parts the fans look forward to the most. A chance to show off their misspelled and unoriginal signs to the cameras just to show off to their friends that they were there, and what do we get instead? The return of the girly girl who was around for about a month a little while ago, but nevertheless is visually appealing. Word is that Kaden Keene has been repeatedly putting in a bid, mistaking the lovely lady for an auction. Kelly Kelly from ECW offered services for a quarter, but like in her segments on WWECW, no one was really paying attention.
BACK AT ONE
In a likely foolish decision, Atlas decided to show up for this match. More guts than brains, I’ll give him that, but even I wouldn’t step foot in the ring with Grimm after he lost to Mikey Wright after successfully keeping him down for the last six months. The in-ring action itself… Um… What’s the best way to describe this half-minute segway some people may call a match… Chris Tucker may have said it best. “You got knocked the fuck out!” Lasie may end up fearing the reaper.
NO-CALL, NO-SHOW
Some of us got fired for this in previous jobs. However, in the PCW world, it merely means you get a slap on the wrist and an “L” next to your name. Havik gets a chance to show his stuff in his debut, but instead gets to stand in the ring and wonder if he has milk in the fridge while the bell tolls ten. Not sure why DarkFalls blanked after that promising debut video package from last week’s Trauma. Let’s just hope he didn’t get a flu shot, because we all know all that does is give you a cold for 365 days. You never get the flu, cause you always have a cold. However, if that’s the case, he could bring in some advertising revenue in the stead by doing plugs for Daytime NyQuil.
ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD
Meanwhile backstage, James Keenan gives us all an important lesson to not do your Johnny Vivacious pre-match impressions. Slurring more than Captain Jack Sparrow after even he’s had a few too many, Kaden takes care of his little boy and warns him to stay in the back. After all, Kaden is about to engage in a long and epic battle with the greatest and most dangerous tag team in Pure Class Wrestling history… or something like that.
HOGAN’S GONNA SUE SOMEONE
Kaden, in a true testament to bravery, decides to stand up to these vicious monsters himself. Then again, it’s possible he could’ve just been avoiding coming to the ring and being part of a TEAM called ICON. However, it would be somewhat interesting to see 2Guys delineate over which is the icon and which is the sidekick. Instead, Kaden Keene again earns the respect that he demands and proves that he’s soon going to be a vital threat in the PCW landscape before very long. With the addition of a sober James Keenan, it’ll make for a very competitive showdown for the tag team titles at Deception if it’s booked, which hasn’t happened since Lantlas and Sinn were tearing it up in that particular division a few months ago. Four very competent superstars collectively in action? The main event won’t be the only moneymaker in Deception, I can promise you that!
A(ce)MOS AND ANDY
It’s always good to see a former HHW talent revert back to his old ways of self-loathing and self-pity. I guess losing a title match to Non Compos Mentis at a Pay-Per-View can have that effect on people. Trust me, I would know. Anyhow, in the first actual competitive match-up of the evening, Ace does what he does best, which is making it look like an opponent lower on the card actually stands a chance against the former Greatness in the Flesh. Andy Douglas brings out his assortment of moves used by various WWF wrestlers in 1998 in a non-Eugene fashion. I do find it ironic that Douglas uses a finisher entitled “Kill Me Now” while he’s trying to hurt someone else. You’d figure a move with self-danger included might be something like a ninja-diving head-butt, where paralysis could occur and his wish could be granted.
As we’re all getting into the match, Captain James Sparrow himself approaches the ring. Wasting a perfectly good electric guitar, he smashes it over Ace’s head when a simple broken bottle would’ve done the trick. I would’ve bought the guitar if you wanted to get rid of it that freaking bad, Keenan. Holy hell. So, in a rather disappointing fashion, Ace Anderson earns his fortieth win here in PCW, and Anthony Douglas will likely be enraged. Ace will have a headache. Kaden will offer Advil. Kelly Kelly will attempt to cure with a striptease, but once again, no one will notice.
GO NINJA, GO NINJA, GO!
Just when we thought something interesting might be approaching, Mikey Wright shows up to prove his bravery and aptitude by promising to likely NOT show up to the main event this evening. In the process, he also complains about a lack of celebratory time because of the main-event announcement for Deception, and boy, do I know how you feel, man. Last time I only had almost a month to celebrate a title victory, sheesh… He must’ve bought the excuse that all his friends were washing their hair again. Then, after more self-affirming crowd-pleasers, he reminds us of his ability to be honest at appropriate times by noting that the fans don’t want to see him there. Good to know you’re paying attention a tad, Mikey. There goes perfect attendance for the semester! That will show on your transcripts, young man. We never wanted to see Blade every week, but by God, we got it whether we wanted it or not! What makes you so special that you can deprive us of what we don’t want to see anyway?
DOINK THE PEGZ
Somehow, when I hear the name “Gambit” announced, I can’t help but think a recording of the “Jabberwocky” would be read aloud instead of entrance music… Not that I’m implying that statement has any relevance whatsoever to the show, but sometimes I like to amuse myself. Bringing a sigh of relief to the anxious crowd, again this match is more competitive than those they saw in the opening parts of the show. Pegasus proves he might still have what it takes to be a force to be reckoned with in PCW, while Lasie looks to follow in the road of Kaden Keene, making a mark as an impressive newcomer. However, in a hefty dose of karma, the reaper returns. As the Gambit attempts to pick a fight with the man, he costs himself the match, and everyone in the arena is just as surprised as Pegasus is when he’s announced the winner.
LET’S GET IT EMO IN HERE!
Another prime specimen of the recent batch of rookies, Chris Corvade, despite showing potential, hasn’t been quite able to catch a break so far in PCW. Perhaps it’s a bit of bad luck to end up squaring off with the man who’s been on a tear as of late, and indeed it turned out to be. Corvade likely needs to take some time to re-evaluate his offensive strategy; cause NCM just had a counter for everything. Kudos for studying up on your opponent, Mentis. NCM catches the victory with the Lollipop Driver and continues on his almost-streak.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR PLAYA PEGZ THE CLOWN?
In an event I had yet to discover, wrestlers can get faxes backstage. I guess a text message would’ve been too difficult, and the vibration likely would’ve made Pegz paranoid that Bucky Joe might be coming for revenge. In a true moment of suspense, we see the expression on the face of the playa himself. What’s in store next week for the man of weekly gimmicks? Will the third one prove to be the essential boost to earn Pegasus a pinfall? Let’s just hope, for the sake of all of us with vision, that we won’t have to see Pegasus the Kelly Imitator. The ratings will plummet worse than a Brooke Hogan music video marathon in place of the advertised Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin elimination match.
IT’S A BIRD, IT’S A PLANE, OR IS IT A PHOENIX? (Um, sir... A phoenix is a bird, isn't it?)
I’ll give credit where it’s due, and say that Rodney Phoenix had a helluva lot of guts to show up alone to face his archrival and the world champion. Who would’ve thought that the Elven Warrior and the Eye of the Stormm would’ve worked so well together? Phoenix indeed puts up an admirable effort, but when you’ve got two talented superstars who are both on top of their game, it’s hard to overcome. With some very impressive tag team moves from Stormm and Lantlas, Michaels finally gets one-up on the Genesis champion, and Lantlas earns his twenty-third victory.
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER
As the two are announced the victors, Mikey decides that maybe his presence was important for the match in which he was booked. However, he was a bit too late, and covered for it by applauding the winners of the match in a mocking fashion. A nice hint to what the main event at Deception will be like, and I’m sure we’ll all be on the edge of our seats when these two finally have their showdown.
…
WHAT’S NEXT FOR PCW?
Trauma [54] rolls in the week before the famed Icey Awards. Who needs wrestling when you can get Oscar speeches? The card for next week’s show is stacked, so let’s take a look and weigh the odds of who will be emerging the victor in the seven matches booked for this week.
TWO GUYS, A GIRL, AND A TAG MATCH
Jade makes her slightly-hyped return as part of a team with the Mario and Luigi of PCW. In the other corner, Team Random will likely need separate entrances to satiate their feelings about themselves. Atlas and Non Compos Mentis will likely see each other for the first time, and DarkFalls hopefully will set his alarm clock this week. Despite the roll on which NCM has been, I’ll give the edge to the team who will guarantee that all three members will indeed show up.
WINNERS: JADE AND 2GUYS
THE FIVE-LETTERED ONE-NAME WONDERS
Havik won’t have it so easy this week, as he’s got a pissed off reaper to deal with. It’s safe to say that Atlas didn’t know what hit him, given that he’ll probably emerge a pretty butterfly in his head just before the drugs kick in to wake him up. Since I know nothing of Havik’s previous in-ring work, and since Grimm made two appearances while Havik essentially got the week off, I’d say motivation is the x-factor in this contest.
WINNER: GRIMM
STORMM CLOUD
Justin Michaels was impressive in his main-event match this past week. He was, however, teamed with the world champion in a handicapped match. Not taking anything away from Stormm’s abilities, but he’s not going to have a plan B on which to fall back this time. The Jabberwock will likely be out to prove his loss last week was a fluke, and in some poetic verses and creepy backdrops, Lasie will make this match interesting. However, I see Grimm getting involved once again, and I don’t know if Lasie will learn his lesson about leaving the ring before the match is over.
WINNER: JUSTIN “STORMM” MICHAELS
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUKEN WRESTLER?
I’m surprised this wasn’t booked as a bar-room brawl, given that neither of these individuals have done anything to hide their alcohol intake in recent weeks. Keenan was showing promise before he started teaming with Kaden, but despite his little slump as of late, I think he’ll recover in time to put on a good show. Douglas will have to adjust his gameplan to pull off a victory here.
WINNER: JAMES KEENAN
REBEL YELL
In what can be construed as nothing less than irony, the Boy Meets World heartthrob himself will make his long-awaited return against Pegasus, who will be dressed like Mr. Hunter was, at least in the first four seasons when he still lived in the trailer park. This will be a contest over which is bigger; Pegasus’s desire to not be humiliated, or Sean Hunter believing his own legend. My gut says that the kicker of asses for the Lord just won’t be able to harm the boy without fangirls scratching at his face.
WINNER: SEAN HUNTER
THE ART OF ICONITUDE
Before predicting the winner, my pre-show prediction is definitely the match of the night! Ace, coming off his fortieth win, and Keene, coming off another impressive performance, will collide near the end of the show in what will likely be a true crowd pleaser. I expect this match to go longer than fifteen minutes, and more than one finisher to be dealt. Given that his opponent is not named Lantlas or Mikey Wright, I see Kaden giving the former champion a helluva run, but Ace exemplifying the finish… Twice if necessary.
WINNER: ACE ANDERSON
WHEN TAG TEAMS GO BAD
Okay, so they weren’t really a tag team. That’s probably a good thing, given that these two mesh as well as Survivor contestants with the native inhabitants who already live on the island. They’ll have a chance to take out their aggression on each other while they highlight the main event with what can only be described as the potential future of the industry. However, keeping within consistency, there is a blue-haired man in the main event of Trauma, so all is well in the PCW world. It’s also champion vs. champion, and I don’t see Mikey Wright letting one slip away before his potential world title reign.
WINNER: “MR. SHOWTIME” MIKEY WRIGHT
In conclusion, I’d like to remind you that Al Laiman will do anything to keep his two-and-a-half readers glued to their screens with weekly anticipation. And one of those things will be answering letters. So, if you’ve got something to ask Al Laiman about upcoming events in PCW, questioning his predictions, or just have something that died up your ass and need to yell at someone who can’t hit you back, write to Al Laiman by clicking on the highlighted name and sending a private message to yours truly. Responses guaranteed in next week’s column. And remember, it’s in Laiman’s Terms.