Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2006 0:23:40 GMT -5
IN LAIMAN'S TERMS - FOURTH EDITION
August 18th, 2006
LETTERS LIVE!
LAIMAN: Welcome back, as I delight the speakers of your radio once again with ranting that is never the same as it was last week. Tonight, instead of writing to all of you, informing you of your shortcomings and deficiencies, another will be joining me on the show in order to portray his own. May I welcome, one half of the PCW tag team champions, Mr. James Keenan!
KEENAN: Hey Laiman.
LAIMAN: It’s nice of you to be able to pick up the phone and join us here, seeing as you were owned at this past week’s Trauma. Your thoughts on that?
KEENAN: You want my thoughts huh? Well plain and simple I got careless. I was too worried about my partners slipping up that I didn’t pay attention to my surroundings. That’s what happens when you team with unreliable people, you have to worry more about them than you do the damn match.
LAIMAN: Well, there’s nothing quite like making excuses before you’re eliminated in the Icey Invitational by Non Compos Mentis. What will your excuse for that one be? The people you tagged with last week were still on your mind?
KEENAN: I'm not sure, how bout you give me your excuse for losing to him in what was supposed to be YOUR specialty match?
LAIMAN: Listen, you little punkfaggot, when you have a ten-year career with a winning percentage higher than RVD on an Ohio freeway, maybe you’ll have room to critique my career. And because I know that might happen around the same time the Great Khali pulls off a 630 from the top rope, I’m going to let that slide without coming to find you and destroying you like I did Ace Anderson. But as far as I’m concerned, I’m asking the questions, so you do your best to put a couple of brain cells together and answer them, ‘kay pumpkin? Now, I’ve noticed your tag team partner Kaden Keene wrestled to a draw with a woman this past week. Which of the two of you do you think will be the first to lose to a woman?
KEENAN: Neither of us, because Kaden's going to put that bitch in her place next week on Trauma. I'll admit he fucked up last week but what the hell… we all do once in a while. So who knows?
LAIMAN: Interesting you should ask, because I’ll tell you what I know. I’ve seen the Rise of the Rookies several times in my stay here in Pure Class Wrestling. I’ve seem them come and go more times than the Ultimate Warrior, and given that I’m a man who has trained world champions, I know what it takes to be one. I see someone like you getting trashed Johnny V-style when you haven’t even had to take a real hit in this place yet, and it disgraces me. You only have that championship because I was the referee. You don’t deserve to wear the gold anymore than Ace Anderson deserves to still be wrestling, but I had to consider it the lesser of two evils. How long do you think it will take until you embarrass yourself so much that you’re considered the second coming of Blade?
KEENAN: I never asked for anyone to be special referee in that match. I never asked you to make a fast count. And as for what you did after the match, I could care less if you beat Anderson with your little wacky chair or whatever the fuck you call it. I could have won that belt without your help.
LAIMAN: Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you wrestling for the tag team belts against two of the best in the company? I don’t think you could’ve won the tag team championships by yourself against 2Guys, let alone Ace Anderson and Non Compos Mentis. I guess that’s why you’re fodder for the Icey Invitational; because you’re so freaking stupid that you actually think it’s because they wanted you in there, and not because someone in the front office wanted a good laugh.
KEENAN: Wrestling against two of the best, hardly. I was wrestling against two old men who's hey-day is long past. Guys like me and Kaden, were the future of the franchise, not the poster child for ego maniacs and his homeless partner. What the fuck do I care if you don't think I could have beaten them on my own? That’s your opinion. In my opinion, you’re just as washed up as they are, probably more. You preach and fucking preach about how I’m an embarrassment, about how without your interference, I wouldn’t have even been able to beat 2Guys. Give me a break Laiman, I’ve beaten two guys on my own in my second match in PCW. No way in hell do they stand as a threat to ICON. Now you wanna call me fodder for the tournament, hell at least I had the guts to enter. And ya know what, fuck the front office, fuck the top brass, and fuck you. I'm going as far as I can in this thing. If I don't win, so fucking what, at least I tried.
LAIMAN: Yes, cause your opinion has so much merit, Mr. Keenan. The way you held the world championship for as long as Ace did, and the way you’ve won so many matches here like NCM has… definitely puts you as an expert in the book of knowing about things that are relevant. If their hey-day is long past, you wouldn’t have needed a special guest referee and a fast count. But if what you say is true, and you two are the future of the franchise, ratings are going to sink faster than most of the crowd would walk out if you main-evented Mass Destruction. And by the way, it was rather nice of you to drop more f-bombs than the Boondock Saints, really validates the intelligence behind your self-righteous, idiotic opinions. Perhaps it’s more guts than brains, but then again, 2Guys entered this tournament… and won, nonetheless, so actually entering it isn’t anything really special. So before you get all f-bomb happy with me again, take some time and examine yourself. Figure out why the hell you’re so angry, figure out what the hell’s going through your head that you’ve become so defensive to yell at someone over the radio. In the end, it’s your own fear, your own shortcomings that fuel that fire, and you will be exposed of your ignorance before too long. Now, before you induce more of my listeners to jamming their ears with razor blades before listening to another word you say, I’m…. cutting your line off!
LAIMAN: Now, what do you think we’ve learned from this, ladies and gentlemen? Not only have we learned that James Keenan is a scared little boy in PCW, but we’ve also learned that this scared little boy and his Project Runway tag team partner defeated the so-called best in the business, Ace Anderson. The question that’s been constantly emailed to my inbox, of course, is “why did you do that, Laiman?” Then again, that’s what all wrestling fans ask when something like that happens. Fans bitch about originality and creativity, then do things like that. To think there was a time where I’d do this to entertain you, though now I realize I’m probably using words that are too big for most of you to comprehend anyway.
What I suggest, not just for you fans, but for the wrestlers as well, is for you to stand behind Ace Anderson, the fallen hero. He’ll get his comeback match, and you’ll all want to see him decimate me. It is then when you’ll see Ace Anderson for what he truly is… A FAKE! You know why he was the world champion for so long? Because no matter how terrible he really is, all of you are even worse than that! Need proof? Who’s the world champion right now? That’s right, a guy I discovered, and a guy I made into the world champion he is today! The best you guys have can’t defeat him, coincidence? I think not!
Ace Anderson, I know you’re listening. You heard all I said to the scared little boy, but inside you know the truth… You ARE the scared little boy, and come the time when your wounds heal up, I’m going to expose you as the fraud you really are. I’ll show you how that five months of your life where you thought you were the best were nothing more than a crack whore’s pipe dream before she gets back into bed with Kaden Keene. It’s funny that the last thing I’ll do in a PCW ring is end the career of their favorite superstar of all time. And speaking of time, until the next one, cheerio!
August 18th, 2006
LETTERS LIVE!
LAIMAN: Welcome back, as I delight the speakers of your radio once again with ranting that is never the same as it was last week. Tonight, instead of writing to all of you, informing you of your shortcomings and deficiencies, another will be joining me on the show in order to portray his own. May I welcome, one half of the PCW tag team champions, Mr. James Keenan!
KEENAN: Hey Laiman.
LAIMAN: It’s nice of you to be able to pick up the phone and join us here, seeing as you were owned at this past week’s Trauma. Your thoughts on that?
KEENAN: You want my thoughts huh? Well plain and simple I got careless. I was too worried about my partners slipping up that I didn’t pay attention to my surroundings. That’s what happens when you team with unreliable people, you have to worry more about them than you do the damn match.
LAIMAN: Well, there’s nothing quite like making excuses before you’re eliminated in the Icey Invitational by Non Compos Mentis. What will your excuse for that one be? The people you tagged with last week were still on your mind?
KEENAN: I'm not sure, how bout you give me your excuse for losing to him in what was supposed to be YOUR specialty match?
LAIMAN: Listen, you little punkfaggot, when you have a ten-year career with a winning percentage higher than RVD on an Ohio freeway, maybe you’ll have room to critique my career. And because I know that might happen around the same time the Great Khali pulls off a 630 from the top rope, I’m going to let that slide without coming to find you and destroying you like I did Ace Anderson. But as far as I’m concerned, I’m asking the questions, so you do your best to put a couple of brain cells together and answer them, ‘kay pumpkin? Now, I’ve noticed your tag team partner Kaden Keene wrestled to a draw with a woman this past week. Which of the two of you do you think will be the first to lose to a woman?
KEENAN: Neither of us, because Kaden's going to put that bitch in her place next week on Trauma. I'll admit he fucked up last week but what the hell… we all do once in a while. So who knows?
LAIMAN: Interesting you should ask, because I’ll tell you what I know. I’ve seen the Rise of the Rookies several times in my stay here in Pure Class Wrestling. I’ve seem them come and go more times than the Ultimate Warrior, and given that I’m a man who has trained world champions, I know what it takes to be one. I see someone like you getting trashed Johnny V-style when you haven’t even had to take a real hit in this place yet, and it disgraces me. You only have that championship because I was the referee. You don’t deserve to wear the gold anymore than Ace Anderson deserves to still be wrestling, but I had to consider it the lesser of two evils. How long do you think it will take until you embarrass yourself so much that you’re considered the second coming of Blade?
KEENAN: I never asked for anyone to be special referee in that match. I never asked you to make a fast count. And as for what you did after the match, I could care less if you beat Anderson with your little wacky chair or whatever the fuck you call it. I could have won that belt without your help.
LAIMAN: Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you wrestling for the tag team belts against two of the best in the company? I don’t think you could’ve won the tag team championships by yourself against 2Guys, let alone Ace Anderson and Non Compos Mentis. I guess that’s why you’re fodder for the Icey Invitational; because you’re so freaking stupid that you actually think it’s because they wanted you in there, and not because someone in the front office wanted a good laugh.
KEENAN: Wrestling against two of the best, hardly. I was wrestling against two old men who's hey-day is long past. Guys like me and Kaden, were the future of the franchise, not the poster child for ego maniacs and his homeless partner. What the fuck do I care if you don't think I could have beaten them on my own? That’s your opinion. In my opinion, you’re just as washed up as they are, probably more. You preach and fucking preach about how I’m an embarrassment, about how without your interference, I wouldn’t have even been able to beat 2Guys. Give me a break Laiman, I’ve beaten two guys on my own in my second match in PCW. No way in hell do they stand as a threat to ICON. Now you wanna call me fodder for the tournament, hell at least I had the guts to enter. And ya know what, fuck the front office, fuck the top brass, and fuck you. I'm going as far as I can in this thing. If I don't win, so fucking what, at least I tried.
LAIMAN: Yes, cause your opinion has so much merit, Mr. Keenan. The way you held the world championship for as long as Ace did, and the way you’ve won so many matches here like NCM has… definitely puts you as an expert in the book of knowing about things that are relevant. If their hey-day is long past, you wouldn’t have needed a special guest referee and a fast count. But if what you say is true, and you two are the future of the franchise, ratings are going to sink faster than most of the crowd would walk out if you main-evented Mass Destruction. And by the way, it was rather nice of you to drop more f-bombs than the Boondock Saints, really validates the intelligence behind your self-righteous, idiotic opinions. Perhaps it’s more guts than brains, but then again, 2Guys entered this tournament… and won, nonetheless, so actually entering it isn’t anything really special. So before you get all f-bomb happy with me again, take some time and examine yourself. Figure out why the hell you’re so angry, figure out what the hell’s going through your head that you’ve become so defensive to yell at someone over the radio. In the end, it’s your own fear, your own shortcomings that fuel that fire, and you will be exposed of your ignorance before too long. Now, before you induce more of my listeners to jamming their ears with razor blades before listening to another word you say, I’m…. cutting your line off!
LAIMAN: Now, what do you think we’ve learned from this, ladies and gentlemen? Not only have we learned that James Keenan is a scared little boy in PCW, but we’ve also learned that this scared little boy and his Project Runway tag team partner defeated the so-called best in the business, Ace Anderson. The question that’s been constantly emailed to my inbox, of course, is “why did you do that, Laiman?” Then again, that’s what all wrestling fans ask when something like that happens. Fans bitch about originality and creativity, then do things like that. To think there was a time where I’d do this to entertain you, though now I realize I’m probably using words that are too big for most of you to comprehend anyway.
What I suggest, not just for you fans, but for the wrestlers as well, is for you to stand behind Ace Anderson, the fallen hero. He’ll get his comeback match, and you’ll all want to see him decimate me. It is then when you’ll see Ace Anderson for what he truly is… A FAKE! You know why he was the world champion for so long? Because no matter how terrible he really is, all of you are even worse than that! Need proof? Who’s the world champion right now? That’s right, a guy I discovered, and a guy I made into the world champion he is today! The best you guys have can’t defeat him, coincidence? I think not!
Ace Anderson, I know you’re listening. You heard all I said to the scared little boy, but inside you know the truth… You ARE the scared little boy, and come the time when your wounds heal up, I’m going to expose you as the fraud you really are. I’ll show you how that five months of your life where you thought you were the best were nothing more than a crack whore’s pipe dream before she gets back into bed with Kaden Keene. It’s funny that the last thing I’ll do in a PCW ring is end the career of their favorite superstar of all time. And speaking of time, until the next one, cheerio!