Post by stormangel on Apr 7, 2006 13:36:09 GMT -5
Billy McKinley sat next to his cousin Mikey as they surfed on Billy’s new laptop. On the TV, the TIVO-saved copy of Trauma was playing for the third time since it had aired.
“I’m telling you Billy,” Mikey said in his urgent tone that conveyed he wanted something badly. “I swear I’ve heard of this American Nightmare. Just let me borrow your laptop so I can look him up.”
Billy pulled his computer away from his cousin’s incoming hands. “No way dude. The last time I let you borrow my laptop, the virus you downloaded fried my motherboard. Can’t believe your lameass thought that was really a collection of nude Jessica Alba pics. Trust me, if there were some, I’d have found them.”
“Oh come on man! It was an accident, and your dad bought you a new computer for Christmas!” Mickey pleaded.
“Yes and this one will be untouched by your n00b hands. Why don’t you just ask my mom to use her office computer?”
“She’s using it for her work. Come on dude. I want to look while we have the show on.”
“Ugh, can’t believe you are making me sit through this yet again. I can handle watching your wrestling sometimes, but dude… get a life!” Billy’s eyes never looked up from his computer as he berated his younger cousin.
Mikey laughed. “Oh coming from the guy who’s still living at home at nineteen and spends most of his time playing World of Warcraft.”
Billy looked up in disgust. “Hey! I have a RESPONSIBILITY to my guild! We are so pwning the Alliance’s asses in Blackrock Mountain raids and my priest is considered the third best healer in the healer.”
“You’d be first if you’d stop trying to send flirty tells to Undeadica. Bet you she’s really a guy!”
Billy glared at his thirteen year old cousin as he wondered if the backyard had enough dirt to bury him. “Her microphone is just broken still. She’s sent me pics though. She is haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawt!”
Mikey grinned. “Yeah yeah. So why doesn’t she go out to buy a cheap mic at Wal-Mart then. Doesn’t she have guild pride or whatever you losers call it?”
Billy sighed. “Alright, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll look up this American Nightmare chump on Google if you will lay off of Undeadica?”
Mikey jumped up and down with excitement. “Victory is mine!”
“And take your meds. You haven’t been drinking caffeine again?” Billy replied.
Mikey ignored the comment and moved to hover over Billy’s shoulder. Billy ignored Mikey’s bad breath as he hit Google. Soon he had multiple tabs open as he started going through it all. Finally, he found nicely detailed bio on one site and began reading aloud. “The American Nightmare began his professional wrestling career in 1999 on the independent circuit. Unlike most wrestlers, he has used the same gimmick from the beginning of his career. He did amateur wrestling in high school and college, along with playing linebacker for the University of College football team. He dropped out in the middle of his college years to pursue a professional wrestling career.”
“Cool! He can actually wrestle. Not just some lame slow ass big guy,” Mikey commented.
“Do you want to be the peanut gallery or let me continue? I can always go back to WoW and check my auctions.”
“Yeah yeah. I swear you’d make a great Chinese gold farmer. Except they make real money from that game.”
“Shut up squirt! Okay, it says here that this dude has never had a World title, but mainly because he’s always been more inclined to inflicting pain than chasing titles. Sounds like a jobber with good press to me.”
Mikey flicked Billy’s ear. “You’re the jobber. And look here. In his last fed, he was always a top contender and almost took the belt from their champ Tyler Byrd. Man they had the longest rivalry in PAW history.”
“Touch me again with your semen-encrusted fingers again and I’ll make sure I break all your girlfriends there. Anyways, Undeadica should be off work so I’m going to get back on the game.”
“Lame! I wanted to look up more stuff! You so suck! And I’m telling Aunt Jenny you are talking all gross!”
Billy closed the browser and began to load WoW. “Did I offend your virgin ears?”
Mikey paused for a moment. “Am I still a virgin if I got to see boobage?”
“Seeing grandma without her bra doesn’t make you lose your virginity.”
“You are so gross and lame! I’m going to go poke out my mind’s eye.”
“Good, you do that!” As Mikey ran off, Billy glanced once more at the television before he fumbled for the remote. “That dude does have a cool look. I bet I can make a cool Orc Warrior for an alt based off that.”
“I’m telling you Billy,” Mikey said in his urgent tone that conveyed he wanted something badly. “I swear I’ve heard of this American Nightmare. Just let me borrow your laptop so I can look him up.”
Billy pulled his computer away from his cousin’s incoming hands. “No way dude. The last time I let you borrow my laptop, the virus you downloaded fried my motherboard. Can’t believe your lameass thought that was really a collection of nude Jessica Alba pics. Trust me, if there were some, I’d have found them.”
“Oh come on man! It was an accident, and your dad bought you a new computer for Christmas!” Mickey pleaded.
“Yes and this one will be untouched by your n00b hands. Why don’t you just ask my mom to use her office computer?”
“She’s using it for her work. Come on dude. I want to look while we have the show on.”
“Ugh, can’t believe you are making me sit through this yet again. I can handle watching your wrestling sometimes, but dude… get a life!” Billy’s eyes never looked up from his computer as he berated his younger cousin.
Mikey laughed. “Oh coming from the guy who’s still living at home at nineteen and spends most of his time playing World of Warcraft.”
Billy looked up in disgust. “Hey! I have a RESPONSIBILITY to my guild! We are so pwning the Alliance’s asses in Blackrock Mountain raids and my priest is considered the third best healer in the healer.”
“You’d be first if you’d stop trying to send flirty tells to Undeadica. Bet you she’s really a guy!”
Billy glared at his thirteen year old cousin as he wondered if the backyard had enough dirt to bury him. “Her microphone is just broken still. She’s sent me pics though. She is haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawt!”
Mikey grinned. “Yeah yeah. So why doesn’t she go out to buy a cheap mic at Wal-Mart then. Doesn’t she have guild pride or whatever you losers call it?”
Billy sighed. “Alright, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll look up this American Nightmare chump on Google if you will lay off of Undeadica?”
Mikey jumped up and down with excitement. “Victory is mine!”
“And take your meds. You haven’t been drinking caffeine again?” Billy replied.
Mikey ignored the comment and moved to hover over Billy’s shoulder. Billy ignored Mikey’s bad breath as he hit Google. Soon he had multiple tabs open as he started going through it all. Finally, he found nicely detailed bio on one site and began reading aloud. “The American Nightmare began his professional wrestling career in 1999 on the independent circuit. Unlike most wrestlers, he has used the same gimmick from the beginning of his career. He did amateur wrestling in high school and college, along with playing linebacker for the University of College football team. He dropped out in the middle of his college years to pursue a professional wrestling career.”
“Cool! He can actually wrestle. Not just some lame slow ass big guy,” Mikey commented.
“Do you want to be the peanut gallery or let me continue? I can always go back to WoW and check my auctions.”
“Yeah yeah. I swear you’d make a great Chinese gold farmer. Except they make real money from that game.”
“Shut up squirt! Okay, it says here that this dude has never had a World title, but mainly because he’s always been more inclined to inflicting pain than chasing titles. Sounds like a jobber with good press to me.”
Mikey flicked Billy’s ear. “You’re the jobber. And look here. In his last fed, he was always a top contender and almost took the belt from their champ Tyler Byrd. Man they had the longest rivalry in PAW history.”
“Touch me again with your semen-encrusted fingers again and I’ll make sure I break all your girlfriends there. Anyways, Undeadica should be off work so I’m going to get back on the game.”
“Lame! I wanted to look up more stuff! You so suck! And I’m telling Aunt Jenny you are talking all gross!”
Billy closed the browser and began to load WoW. “Did I offend your virgin ears?”
Mikey paused for a moment. “Am I still a virgin if I got to see boobage?”
“Seeing grandma without her bra doesn’t make you lose your virginity.”
“You are so gross and lame! I’m going to go poke out my mind’s eye.”
“Good, you do that!” As Mikey ran off, Billy glanced once more at the television before he fumbled for the remote. “That dude does have a cool look. I bet I can make a cool Orc Warrior for an alt based off that.”