Post by moonwick on Sept 29, 2006 2:52:58 GMT -5
Jade woke up in the middle of the night, covered in a thin film of icy sweat. Instinctively, her gaze shot to the right, where Lantlas lay sleeping. A sigh of relief escaped her lips, even though she had been having the same nightmare for weeks and he was always there when she woke up. Her familiarity with the dream did not lessen her fear of losing him. On the contrary, she was constantly reminded of the possibility.
The bed sheets between her body and Lantlas’ had grown cold to the touch. Jade rolled onto her side and watched him, shivering. His face wore a pained expression as he slept, and she wondered what he was dreaming about, what was bothering him. He had been acting different lately, as if something had changed. Sometimes he didn’t look at her when she talked to him, and lately he spoke very little. Jade’s eyes fell to the empty gap between them, a sight that made her heart ache.
She tried in vain to make sense of it all. Maybe he just needed space. Still, Jade couldn’t help but feel hurt, and she wondered if it was her fault. Silently, she slid her body over closer to his, closing that gap, kissing his fingers softly so that she wouldn’t wake him. Where had it all gone? Was he sick of her? Didn’t he love her anymore? She sat up in bed, realizing that her face was wet with tears. Crying at night had become a dreaded ritual. Her heart was torn in a thousand directions; Nana was seriously ill, Jade had had no luck whatsoever in tracking down the man who killed her parents, and now Lantlas, the one she loved, was…drifting away like some mere acquaintance who would eventually forget her. The only thing at all that seemed to be going right at the time was her career with PCW. And Jade could only wonder how long that would last. It seemed nothing gold could stay. She was determined to defeat Mikey Wright at Trauma on Tuesday. If she couldn’t channel her stress and anxiety into some kind of personal victory, it would surely eat her alive. The young woman vowed to finish what they had started in the ring last week. This time she would not fail.
Jade knew that staying with Lantlas had been the right decision for many reasons. First of all, she loved him and simply couldn’t do without him. Furthermore, her strong bonds with Emerald kept her going on the blackest days, even when Lantlas seemed to shun her completely. The two did everything together and were rarely seen apart. Emerald even went to the hospital with Jade to visit Nana, where Lloyd gave the little girl tootsie rolls and taught her how to play checkers. The child had beaten the old expert on several occasions; she was clever and intelligent, just like her Vati. Jade was moved by Emerald’s kindness and compassion, amused by her curiosity, and inspired by her appreciation for life. It was easy to understand why Lantlas had been so lost without his daughter. Jade was still angry at herself for even considering to leave. How could she put him through yet another loss, after all that he had been through? And how could she leave poor little Emerald, who was beginning to think of the young woman as her best friend? Every time Jade thought of that letter in that drawer, she wanted to crawl under a rock and die miserably. Her hand reached out of its own accord and opened the drawer to find the letter, which she suddenly felt like destroying. It wasn’t there. Jade searched uneasily through various loose papers and in between the pages of her journal, but the undelivered goodbye letter was nowhere to be found. Her heart jumped into her throat as she realized what must have happened: Lantlas had probably found it. That’s why he had been acting so strange. A wave of guilt washed over her, and she fell to her knees on the floor, her eyes stinging. It was all her fault, then. All of this. She would have to explain it to him before it was too late. But how? Would he listen? Jade bit her lip. The uncertainty was killing her, and a small moan of sorrow and regret from her lips broke the silence. She should have destroyed the letter immediately.
Jade froze as Lantlas shifted in bed, turning onto his side so that his back was facing her. Again she bit her lip, watching him as her eyes filled with emotional pain and intoxicating love at the same time. If she didn't release what she felt, she would burst. Grasping for a nearby pen and picking up her journal, she composed another entry:
September 28th, 2006
I realize now that I have to tell Lantlas everything. The letter that I wrote has disappeared, and it's quite probable that he found it. That may be why he's ignoring me; he's probably upset, and I don't blame him. But I miss his touch and his smile and...I love him so much, even though I don't have the guts to say it to his face.
I'm going to go for a walk now, and when I get back in a few hours and I'm calmed down, I'm going to wake him up and tell him the whole story. Maybe he can help me find the man who murdered my parents, or maybe I'll just give up completely to save our relationship and keep him and Emerald from danger. Then I'm going to beg his forgiveness and confess my love for him, and promise that I'll never think about leaving ever, ever again unless he truly wants me to. I think he's The One; I really do...and I just want him back, no matter what it takes.
Wish me luck, old friend. Goodnight.
The young woman snuck out of the room, hoping that a late-night walk would dull the ache in her heart.
September nipped at Jade’s ears and hands, stinging them with cold. She shivered and walked faster to keep warm, clouds of vapor forming from her breath. It had been quite awhile since she had adventured into the night alone; sleeping in Lantlas’ arms had completely replaced her nightly prowls. There was no where she would rather be than with him, even if it meant sacrificing her midnight excursions. But tonight he did not seem to care if she was there or not; clearly, he was upset.
An owl hooted, unseen, from a nearby tree. The forlorn sound fell upon Jade’s ears like an old friend, and she slowed her pace. Her mind, now comfortable in its nocturnal element, started wandering to less upsetting affairs. She was just beginning to ponder the match on Tuesday again, coming up with new strategies to beat Mikey Wright, when suddenly she felt something sharp strike the back of her head. Everything went dark as Jade’s body crumpled to the sidewalk.
The bed sheets between her body and Lantlas’ had grown cold to the touch. Jade rolled onto her side and watched him, shivering. His face wore a pained expression as he slept, and she wondered what he was dreaming about, what was bothering him. He had been acting different lately, as if something had changed. Sometimes he didn’t look at her when she talked to him, and lately he spoke very little. Jade’s eyes fell to the empty gap between them, a sight that made her heart ache.
She tried in vain to make sense of it all. Maybe he just needed space. Still, Jade couldn’t help but feel hurt, and she wondered if it was her fault. Silently, she slid her body over closer to his, closing that gap, kissing his fingers softly so that she wouldn’t wake him. Where had it all gone? Was he sick of her? Didn’t he love her anymore? She sat up in bed, realizing that her face was wet with tears. Crying at night had become a dreaded ritual. Her heart was torn in a thousand directions; Nana was seriously ill, Jade had had no luck whatsoever in tracking down the man who killed her parents, and now Lantlas, the one she loved, was…drifting away like some mere acquaintance who would eventually forget her. The only thing at all that seemed to be going right at the time was her career with PCW. And Jade could only wonder how long that would last. It seemed nothing gold could stay. She was determined to defeat Mikey Wright at Trauma on Tuesday. If she couldn’t channel her stress and anxiety into some kind of personal victory, it would surely eat her alive. The young woman vowed to finish what they had started in the ring last week. This time she would not fail.
Jade knew that staying with Lantlas had been the right decision for many reasons. First of all, she loved him and simply couldn’t do without him. Furthermore, her strong bonds with Emerald kept her going on the blackest days, even when Lantlas seemed to shun her completely. The two did everything together and were rarely seen apart. Emerald even went to the hospital with Jade to visit Nana, where Lloyd gave the little girl tootsie rolls and taught her how to play checkers. The child had beaten the old expert on several occasions; she was clever and intelligent, just like her Vati. Jade was moved by Emerald’s kindness and compassion, amused by her curiosity, and inspired by her appreciation for life. It was easy to understand why Lantlas had been so lost without his daughter. Jade was still angry at herself for even considering to leave. How could she put him through yet another loss, after all that he had been through? And how could she leave poor little Emerald, who was beginning to think of the young woman as her best friend? Every time Jade thought of that letter in that drawer, she wanted to crawl under a rock and die miserably. Her hand reached out of its own accord and opened the drawer to find the letter, which she suddenly felt like destroying. It wasn’t there. Jade searched uneasily through various loose papers and in between the pages of her journal, but the undelivered goodbye letter was nowhere to be found. Her heart jumped into her throat as she realized what must have happened: Lantlas had probably found it. That’s why he had been acting so strange. A wave of guilt washed over her, and she fell to her knees on the floor, her eyes stinging. It was all her fault, then. All of this. She would have to explain it to him before it was too late. But how? Would he listen? Jade bit her lip. The uncertainty was killing her, and a small moan of sorrow and regret from her lips broke the silence. She should have destroyed the letter immediately.
Jade froze as Lantlas shifted in bed, turning onto his side so that his back was facing her. Again she bit her lip, watching him as her eyes filled with emotional pain and intoxicating love at the same time. If she didn't release what she felt, she would burst. Grasping for a nearby pen and picking up her journal, she composed another entry:
September 28th, 2006
I realize now that I have to tell Lantlas everything. The letter that I wrote has disappeared, and it's quite probable that he found it. That may be why he's ignoring me; he's probably upset, and I don't blame him. But I miss his touch and his smile and...I love him so much, even though I don't have the guts to say it to his face.
I'm going to go for a walk now, and when I get back in a few hours and I'm calmed down, I'm going to wake him up and tell him the whole story. Maybe he can help me find the man who murdered my parents, or maybe I'll just give up completely to save our relationship and keep him and Emerald from danger. Then I'm going to beg his forgiveness and confess my love for him, and promise that I'll never think about leaving ever, ever again unless he truly wants me to. I think he's The One; I really do...and I just want him back, no matter what it takes.
Wish me luck, old friend. Goodnight.
The young woman snuck out of the room, hoping that a late-night walk would dull the ache in her heart.
September nipped at Jade’s ears and hands, stinging them with cold. She shivered and walked faster to keep warm, clouds of vapor forming from her breath. It had been quite awhile since she had adventured into the night alone; sleeping in Lantlas’ arms had completely replaced her nightly prowls. There was no where she would rather be than with him, even if it meant sacrificing her midnight excursions. But tonight he did not seem to care if she was there or not; clearly, he was upset.
An owl hooted, unseen, from a nearby tree. The forlorn sound fell upon Jade’s ears like an old friend, and she slowed her pace. Her mind, now comfortable in its nocturnal element, started wandering to less upsetting affairs. She was just beginning to ponder the match on Tuesday again, coming up with new strategies to beat Mikey Wright, when suddenly she felt something sharp strike the back of her head. Everything went dark as Jade’s body crumpled to the sidewalk.