Post by Stormm on Sept 30, 2006 23:35:13 GMT -5
You Times Two
Have you ever felt so lost in this world, that it seems as if the only thing getting you through the day is the constant fight for your sanity?
I'd have never thought in my wildest dreams that my sperm donor would have taken the time to find me, let along torture me like he's done. He was always too lazy to accomplish anything in his life, something I learned not to be growing up. Not only that, but as far as I know, him and that lady who I was unfortunate enough to be stuck inside for nine months weren't sore towards me when they kicked me out. They were just too strung out on drugs and couldn't afford to keep their child. Needless to say, it was eating at me as to why he just showed up, out of nowhere, like this.
To say I haven't been feeling lost would be a lie, in fact, as I found myself curled up under the covers of my bed for the forty-eighth hour straight, Lindsay was trying her best to convince me that it would be in my best interest to get on with things, and move on. 'Justin, honestly, I know it has to bother you, but do you think it's going to do you any good just laying there all day, every day?' She asked me as I answered her question with the only part of my body that was not covered by the bedding, my head, with a side to side shaking motion. 'See, if you don't think this is doing you any good, then what the Hell are you doing still in bed? For Christ sakes Justin, you are stronger than this!' She exclaimed.
Throwing the covers off of me, I sat up on the bed and looked at Lindsay who was standing at the foot of the bed. The t-shirt and shorts that I was wearing was saturated in sweat and smelled like, well, sweaty clothes that had sat in a pile for forty-eight hours. 'I hope you don't think I want to be like this, Lindz! I'm like this because something hasn't been right since that fuck showed back up into my life; and you, of all people, the one he kicked the shit out of, don't seem to be phased one bit!' I exclaimed right back to her.
Her expression turned to one of surprise and shock. 'Don't throw this back at me, Justin. If you want to start pointing fingers, it was your father who jumped me. But I'm not going to be the one who points a finger back at the other!' She explained.
'I'm not pointing any fingers here, I'm just trying to get you to understand that, well, this has done nothing but just make shit as bad as it possibly could be.' I began. 'And if you think for one second that I'm trying to act like this, then you are wrong. I'd just assume go on with my life right now, but no, something up here...' I poked my head a few times with the pointer finger on my right hand. '...is telling me I shouldn't be doing anything but curling up in a corner somewhere.' I said.
Walking towards her, she stood firm at the foot of the bed. 'I've always known you to be a strong individual, and something tells me I shouldn't believe you, then again, this whole scenario doesn't make sense. You've basically been proving me wrong for the last couple weeks now with your crappy attitude here. I just want you to start realizing that nothing else is going to happen. If what you said about your father is true, his work is done, and you shouldn't have to worry about it anymore.' She explained to me as if I had told her this previously.
Shaking my head, I stood face to face with Lindsay. 'I don't know where you got the idea he isn't going to do anything...' I paused for a second as I began to think about something, nothing in particular and nothing that I don't think I would have normally stopped in mid-sentence to think about. 'Yeah, if you don't think he's going to do anything, then, well, I'm guessing you are probably going to be wrong.' My sentence trailed off towards the end as I turned and walked towards the window.
'Are you going mental, Justin? The night after all that happened you sat me down and explained everything to me! You told me how big of a pile of shit he was and still probably is! Then it was you who told me that you didn't think he would do anything else, right before your whole attitude changed! Honestly, you are starting to scare me with how you are acting!' Lindsay shrieked.
I chuckled some. 'I told you something wasn't right, and you didn't believe me. I still don't think you do. Honestly, I don't know what's going on, and it's so far out there that I probably think I wouldn't want to be like this. It's also why I said I should probably go and talk to "him," but you and your mom vetoed that idea. I can't think of anything else that would be a better idea on how to get me back to normal. I don't foresee my wrestling getting any better while I'm like this either.' I said as I turned around and faced here again. 'After all, we are in a big series here, Lindsay. We are up one to nothing after match number one. You wouldn't want us losing this would you? You would want us to do the best we could, right? Why won't you help us, instead of criticizing us?' I asked as her face contorted slightly, as if she was confused about something.
'We? Us? Who are you talking about?' She asked back with the same face.
My jaw dropped in shock that she didn't know who I was talking about. 'Good lord, Lindz; you know who I am talking about, don't even play games with me, I'm not. You know, the ones who the new guy gave a golden opportunity to? The ones who get to face Andreas Lasiewicz in a best of five series to see who actually won the Icemann Invitational. You know... Us?' I said to her.
There was a silence following my statement, and then a rustling could be heard from outside the bedroom door. I looked at the door and noticed it start to turn. 'Who is it Justin?' Lindsay asked me.
I had no idea, and that's how I had to answer. 'Jesus, I have no fucking clue! Just... Go into the bathroom and I'll deal with it.' I said to her as I watched her run into the bathroom to hide. I approached the door and placed my hand on the turning door handle, and with one swift motion, I flung the door open. Who I saw was nothing short of shocking, and my mouth dropped open. 'What the fuck?!' I questioned loudly.
'Who are you talking to in here, Justin?' Lindsay asked me as she walked into the room.
Shaking my head, I was at a loss for words. 'I... Well... Um... I... I thought I was talking to you.' I admitted.
She looked at me rather strangely. 'You were talking to me? I told you I was going into town for a bit, why would you be talking to me?' She asked.
Not having anything to say to that, I shrugged my shoulders. 'Well, we were sleeping, and then you woke us up and started bitching at us for acting differently lately and then next thing all of us know someone's at the door, and I told you to run into the bathroom...' I stopped right there when I realized how silly I sounded.
'Are you mad?' Lindsay questioned.
Chuckling, I answered her back. 'To be honest, we just might be.'
