Post by Andy D on Oct 23, 2006 16:18:27 GMT -5
OOC: WARNING: This rp contains jokes that may offend. None of them are the belief of the writer and all were stolen anyway… if you can leave your religion at the door and have a laugh, please do. Otherwise hit the back button and avoid.
<* Oh hell, I can’t believe it’s that time again. I mean, seriously the week is not long enough to recover from this kind of crap. Anyway, this week we find the 2Guys wandering about some kind of barren rock kind of formation. The rocks are sort of a greyish red… how that works I don’t know, but it does *>
Menace: Err… Jackle?
Jackle: Yeah?
Menace: Where are we?
Voice: You’re in hell
Menace: Oh we’re in…
<* Like any good comedy moment when a random voice suddenly chips in from off screen, it takes the 2Guys a couple of moments to realise that it was neither one of them that spoke. *>
Jackle: Err… who said that?
Voice: Down here, idiots
<* Following the trail of the voice, the 2Guys head to a small cliff (about 7-8 feet drop) where down at the bottom has a small wooden pier/jetty with a skeleton in a black coat holding a scythe. Now you may (but probably don’t) remember a while back we introduced you to the Coker’s Bad Fur Day rip off/parody of the Grim Reaper, Greg. Well he’s back this time, and fully animated. Currently Greg has his scythe upside down, using the bottom of it as a makeshift fishing line. *>
Greg: Be with you in a moment
<* After a couple of minutes Greg’s fishing line gets a catch and he quickly pulls up the line, taking out a whopper of a dark grey, almost black fish. *>
Jackle: Nice catch
<* Oh yeah. That shocks everyone to the core when Greg takes a shotgun from under his clock and splatters the fish across the lake. *>
Menace: What the frag?
Jackle: Why did you shoot the fish?
Greg: It was a catfish. And I hate cats. Blood cats and their stupid nine lives clause. I hate cats. That lake needs a dog fish it does, but no, no dog fish available yet Greg. So I’ll just do it the old fashion way.
Jackle:……… Right
Greg: Right, I’ll get all those fraggers later. Now it’s time for your introduction
Menace: Introduction
Greg: Just a second.
<* It takes a few moments for Greg to traverse the conveniently placed stone steps up the cliff to where the 2Guys are standing. But when he’s up there he stands tall with scythe held by his side *>
Greg: Right then. Welcome to Hell
Jackle: I don’t remember dying? Do you remember dying?
Menace: No, I don’t remember dying
Greg: Well you won’t. Nobody does. But don’t worry your not dead…
<* The 2Guys breath a sigh of relief *>
Greg:… Yet
<* My turn for that sigh of relief. *>
Greg: You’ll be gracing our presence in a week or two, so Toby thought we’d give you the heads up around here
Jackle: Toby?
Greg: The devil. He likes to keep things informal down here as well as infernal.
Menace: Oh… Kay?
Greg: Follow me please
<* Greg starts walking off in one direction and the 2Guys look at each other briefly. Deciding they have no choice they shrug their shoulders and start to follow on. *>
Greg: Now when you are finally with us you’ll be here for all of eternity
Jackle: All of eternity
Greg: Well, give or take a nano second.
Menace: That’s a fragging long time
Greg: Oh yes, by the end of it you’ll know everyone very well.
Jackle: Umm, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s with the very large pits that we're walking past?
Greg: Hmm? Oh those. They’re the theme pits. We like to keep all the people separated into groups.
Menace: Like what?
Greg: Well on the left here we have Murders. On the right here we have Looters, thieves, pillagers and bank managers.
Jackle: What’s that Pit crammed full of people?
Greg: Oh that’s the on full of Fornicators. There’s three other pits just like it. At the back there’s a small guillotine for the adulterers.
<* The 2Guys take a few moments to realise what the small guillotine is for, but grimace when they finally realise. *>
Greg: Over there is the Atheists. Always fun to tell those guys they’ve ended up in hell.
Menace: I always thought if someone said ‘God help you’ to an atheist he was screwed.
Greg: That pit on the left is for the Christians. Turns out the Jews were right after all
Jackle: Bollocks, and I’m Catholic too.
Greg: Yep, too late for you, buddy. I’ve been trying to get one for cat lovers, bloody cats. Unfortunately the idea hasn’t managed to pass through the stupid vote.
Menace: Figures.
Greg: Still I can always go on a mass murdering spree… it is my job after all.
<* The group eventually end up approaching a big red demon looking dude. Horns, Tail, hoofs for feet… the whole works. *>
Greg: Well I have to go and see a man about a device to kill something ten times over… bloody cats. I’ll leave you with Beelzebub here, or Bez as we call him. He’ll show you the ropes around here. Along with the chains, the whips and anything else he can get his hands on. We’ll see you down here proper in a couple of weeks.
<* And with that, Greg walks off muttering his usual bloody cats line, Bez looks at the 2Guys sadistically, the 2Guys gulp in fear, and I’m hopeful that this is the end of the 2Guys, but sad since I know its not. *>
<* Oh hell, I can’t believe it’s that time again. I mean, seriously the week is not long enough to recover from this kind of crap. Anyway, this week we find the 2Guys wandering about some kind of barren rock kind of formation. The rocks are sort of a greyish red… how that works I don’t know, but it does *>
Menace: Err… Jackle?
Jackle: Yeah?
Menace: Where are we?
Voice: You’re in hell
Menace: Oh we’re in…
<* Like any good comedy moment when a random voice suddenly chips in from off screen, it takes the 2Guys a couple of moments to realise that it was neither one of them that spoke. *>
Jackle: Err… who said that?
Voice: Down here, idiots
<* Following the trail of the voice, the 2Guys head to a small cliff (about 7-8 feet drop) where down at the bottom has a small wooden pier/jetty with a skeleton in a black coat holding a scythe. Now you may (but probably don’t) remember a while back we introduced you to the Coker’s Bad Fur Day rip off/parody of the Grim Reaper, Greg. Well he’s back this time, and fully animated. Currently Greg has his scythe upside down, using the bottom of it as a makeshift fishing line. *>
Greg: Be with you in a moment
<* After a couple of minutes Greg’s fishing line gets a catch and he quickly pulls up the line, taking out a whopper of a dark grey, almost black fish. *>
Jackle: Nice catch
BANG
<* Oh yeah. That shocks everyone to the core when Greg takes a shotgun from under his clock and splatters the fish across the lake. *>
Menace: What the frag?
Jackle: Why did you shoot the fish?
Greg: It was a catfish. And I hate cats. Blood cats and their stupid nine lives clause. I hate cats. That lake needs a dog fish it does, but no, no dog fish available yet Greg. So I’ll just do it the old fashion way.
Jackle:……… Right
Greg: Right, I’ll get all those fraggers later. Now it’s time for your introduction
Menace: Introduction
Greg: Just a second.
<* It takes a few moments for Greg to traverse the conveniently placed stone steps up the cliff to where the 2Guys are standing. But when he’s up there he stands tall with scythe held by his side *>
Greg: Right then. Welcome to Hell
Jackle: I don’t remember dying? Do you remember dying?
Menace: No, I don’t remember dying
Greg: Well you won’t. Nobody does. But don’t worry your not dead…
<* The 2Guys breath a sigh of relief *>
Greg:… Yet
<* My turn for that sigh of relief. *>
Greg: You’ll be gracing our presence in a week or two, so Toby thought we’d give you the heads up around here
Jackle: Toby?
Greg: The devil. He likes to keep things informal down here as well as infernal.
Menace: Oh… Kay?
Greg: Follow me please
<* Greg starts walking off in one direction and the 2Guys look at each other briefly. Deciding they have no choice they shrug their shoulders and start to follow on. *>
Greg: Now when you are finally with us you’ll be here for all of eternity
Jackle: All of eternity
Greg: Well, give or take a nano second.
Menace: That’s a fragging long time
Greg: Oh yes, by the end of it you’ll know everyone very well.
Jackle: Umm, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s with the very large pits that we're walking past?
Greg: Hmm? Oh those. They’re the theme pits. We like to keep all the people separated into groups.
Menace: Like what?
Greg: Well on the left here we have Murders. On the right here we have Looters, thieves, pillagers and bank managers.
Jackle: What’s that Pit crammed full of people?
Greg: Oh that’s the on full of Fornicators. There’s three other pits just like it. At the back there’s a small guillotine for the adulterers.
<* The 2Guys take a few moments to realise what the small guillotine is for, but grimace when they finally realise. *>
Greg: Over there is the Atheists. Always fun to tell those guys they’ve ended up in hell.
Menace: I always thought if someone said ‘God help you’ to an atheist he was screwed.
Greg: That pit on the left is for the Christians. Turns out the Jews were right after all
Jackle: Bollocks, and I’m Catholic too.
Greg: Yep, too late for you, buddy. I’ve been trying to get one for cat lovers, bloody cats. Unfortunately the idea hasn’t managed to pass through the stupid vote.
Menace: Figures.
Greg: Still I can always go on a mass murdering spree… it is my job after all.
<* The group eventually end up approaching a big red demon looking dude. Horns, Tail, hoofs for feet… the whole works. *>
Greg: Well I have to go and see a man about a device to kill something ten times over… bloody cats. I’ll leave you with Beelzebub here, or Bez as we call him. He’ll show you the ropes around here. Along with the chains, the whips and anything else he can get his hands on. We’ll see you down here proper in a couple of weeks.
<* And with that, Greg walks off muttering his usual bloody cats line, Bez looks at the 2Guys sadistically, the 2Guys gulp in fear, and I’m hopeful that this is the end of the 2Guys, but sad since I know its not. *>
