Post by Lantlas on Feb 6, 2007 23:48:30 GMT -5
"Does This Belong Here?"
A middle-aged woman came up to the register with a single DVD in her hand. Given that I was in a pretty good mood, despite the idiocy I already had to endure, I smiled as she walked up. The title she had chosen was a rated-R movie. I looked at her, and with a very sweet one, I asked “are you sure you’re old enough to buy this?”
The woman paused for a second, then blushed and smiled a bit. “Apparently you’re trying to be my next boyfriend,” she joked.
“Well, I just don’t wanna get in trouble,” I continued playing. “And I don’t think I’m allowed to date you until you’re eighteen.”
She turned to my boss, still smiling. “You’ve got quite a charmer here. Thank you, that’s just what my day needed.” She started to walk out, but then came back towards the register. She reached up for my name tag. “What’s your name?”
“Alex,” I replied.
“Thank you, Alex.” As she walked out the door, I felt really good about myself. That was quickly interrupted by my boss tapping me on the shoulder.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I didn’t think I had to warn you, but I do. You didn’t go through the script with her.”
Was he serious? I’d not only just made that woman’s day, but guaranteed she would come back! If I had gone through the scripted schpiel, she would’ve thought I was just saying those things to get a sail out of her! “You do realize that customers are more likely to come back when we don’t badger them relentlessly, right?”
“It’s your job to follow the script, and that’s exactly what I expect you to do.” With a gruff, the boss began walking towards the back.
I walked out on the sales floor to take some DVDs from shipment back. While I was out there, a customer approached me, carrying several DVDs himself. “Do you have any more copies of ‘Inside Man’”?
I quickly scanned the pile in my hand. “I’m sorry, sir. It appears we don’t have any more at this current time.” He walked away, and as he was leaving the store, he took the stack of DVDs he had, and just placed them in the new release section. Didn’t bother to put them back, just threw them on the shelf somewhere. After he was out of earshot, I angrily walked over and snatched them from the new movie he’d covered up with his several selections of B-side action movies. “Do these belong here?!”
Again, I heard the boss groaning behind me. I turned around and saw him shaking his head. “What’d I do now?”
“You realize talking like that brings down the store morale, right?”
I looked around at the store. Not a single customer in sight, and Caroline was talking on her cell phone, completely clueless. “No one heard it,” I observed. “What’s the problem? This guy put back four DVDs on the new release shelf, and I can’t be slightly upset about ignorance like that?”
“Just let it roll off your back,” he instructed. “We can’t run a store if you’re getting angry at the customers.”
Apparently you didn’t hear me, asshole! THERE AREN’T ANY CUSTOMERS IN THE STORE WHO EVEN HEARD THAT! I rolled my eyes and headed back to the remaining DVDs from shipment, but he still felt the need to follow me again.
“I’m serious, Alex,” he warned. “Acting that way is a good way to assure that you won’t get that promotion.”
“Because I get angry when no one’s looking?”
“Yes.” As the boss headed to the back room yet again, my cell phone buzzed in my pocket.
“What time are you guys open ‘til?” Brian, silly Brian.
“Two minutes before you show up,” I replied.
“You all right, bro?”
“I was just told my promotion is in jeopardy because I get angry at the customers when no one’s around.”
There was a moment of silence on the other end. It was either disbelief, or he was choking on a Skittle again. “You’re serious?”
Before I could answer, the boss headed back towards the front of the store, and I quickly flipped my phone off. “Alex, get the boxcutters.”
“Why?”
“I locked my keys in the office again, and your hands are thin. I need you to try to get the door unlocked while I call the assistant manager.”
“You know, this could be remedied if you’d give me a key to the back room instead of just the front gate,” I noted.
“You don’t get that key unless you’re promoted, and as I said earlier, you’re not headed down the right path for that! Now, please try to get the office open!” Feeling like I was in a bad episode of MacGuyver, I stripped the boxcutter of two brand new razor blades. I kneeled on the ground, but before I began, I heard Caroline ringing out a customer.
“Would you like to try eight free issues of these magazines? Absolutely free when you pay with a credit card.”
“Sure, why not?”
Unbelievable. I knew I probably was sexist for thinking it, but being cute definitely did help with trying to sell things like that. It was sad enough that the product I had the most trouble selling was, well… free. I tried to put it out of my mind while I attempted to pry the lock open and not cut myself at the same time. After about ten minutes of configuring, I finally had one part back, and it was a jack process to very slowly pull the bigger part back. The pressure was mounting from the weight, and I slipped. Frustrated, I got the position back, and began pulling it back again. Same result.
I’m the kind of person who never gives up on things, even when I don’t think it’s going to work. One more time, I propped the small part of the bar open, and forced the big part back millimeter by millimeter. Suddenly, my hand slipped and I caught my finger on the sharp edge of the razor blade. My arm jerked back in surprise, and my wrist flew directly into my face. I officially was the idiot of the day, as I had just managed to give myself a welt on the forehead. I’d just kicked my own ass, bravo. I let myself fall back, laying on the floor while the front of my head throbbed. I laughed to myself as I held the welt, and couldn’t believe all this was going down in one day.
“It’s okay, we’ve got the key,” the boss announced as he headed back. He stopped as he noticed me laying on the floor. “Taking a nap, Alex?”
“No, I punched myself in the face trying to unlock the door.”
The boss rolled his eyes. “Well done,” he sarcastically remarked as he walked into the back.
“Thanks for making sure I was all right,” I thought out loud. My eyes drifted over to the DVD rack next to me. It was the kid’s section, but someone was nice enough to have left a DVD of animated porn right in the middle of it. “Does this belong here?!” I didn’t care at that point, because that was just beyond laziness, given that the adult section was less than ten feet away. Not to mention, the one who did it was probably the same jackass who would complain when we couldn’t find something even though it was in our inventory. I remembered the previous weekend when a lady complained that the drama section wasn’t completely in alphabetical order, but five minutes later had no problem leaving an “A” movie in the “S” section and a “T” movie with the “C”s. There was no point in trying to understand it.
As I headed back to the register area, Caroline looked at me and her eyes went wide. “What happened to you?” she asked, concerned.
“A guy punched me in the face because we didn’t have the latest edition of ‘Girls Gone Wild’, and instead I offered him the movie, ‘Monsters Gone Wild.’ I figured two out of three wasn’t bad.”
Caroline stared at me blankly, and I realized my sarcasm was wasted yet again. “A guy really punched you?”
“No, Caroline.”
A customer walked up to the register area with nothing in his hand, so I assumed he had a question. “Can I help you, sir?”
“Do you guys sell curtains?”
I froze. I could not think of a response to a question so asinine. I held up one finger, as if to say “one moment”, and I walked to the back. I laid back down on the floor, out of vision, and texted this one to Brian. I didn’t think even he could outdo this one. I took a deep breath, and jumped back to my feet. To my disbelief, the customer was still there. It wasn’t a joke. I shook my head, “nah, couldn’t find any, man.”
I watched as he left the store, trying not to burst out laughing. Caroline looked confused, and she turned to me. “Why does he think we sell curtains? We’re a movie store.”
“You’ve got me there,” I laughed. For once, as scary as it was, she’d read my mind.
Help me get this read on the web... www.fictionpress.com/s/2231693/3/ scroll to the bottom of the page, at the bottom left, click the submit review button.
A middle-aged woman came up to the register with a single DVD in her hand. Given that I was in a pretty good mood, despite the idiocy I already had to endure, I smiled as she walked up. The title she had chosen was a rated-R movie. I looked at her, and with a very sweet one, I asked “are you sure you’re old enough to buy this?”
The woman paused for a second, then blushed and smiled a bit. “Apparently you’re trying to be my next boyfriend,” she joked.
“Well, I just don’t wanna get in trouble,” I continued playing. “And I don’t think I’m allowed to date you until you’re eighteen.”
She turned to my boss, still smiling. “You’ve got quite a charmer here. Thank you, that’s just what my day needed.” She started to walk out, but then came back towards the register. She reached up for my name tag. “What’s your name?”
“Alex,” I replied.
“Thank you, Alex.” As she walked out the door, I felt really good about myself. That was quickly interrupted by my boss tapping me on the shoulder.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I didn’t think I had to warn you, but I do. You didn’t go through the script with her.”
Was he serious? I’d not only just made that woman’s day, but guaranteed she would come back! If I had gone through the scripted schpiel, she would’ve thought I was just saying those things to get a sail out of her! “You do realize that customers are more likely to come back when we don’t badger them relentlessly, right?”
“It’s your job to follow the script, and that’s exactly what I expect you to do.” With a gruff, the boss began walking towards the back.
I walked out on the sales floor to take some DVDs from shipment back. While I was out there, a customer approached me, carrying several DVDs himself. “Do you have any more copies of ‘Inside Man’”?
I quickly scanned the pile in my hand. “I’m sorry, sir. It appears we don’t have any more at this current time.” He walked away, and as he was leaving the store, he took the stack of DVDs he had, and just placed them in the new release section. Didn’t bother to put them back, just threw them on the shelf somewhere. After he was out of earshot, I angrily walked over and snatched them from the new movie he’d covered up with his several selections of B-side action movies. “Do these belong here?!”
Again, I heard the boss groaning behind me. I turned around and saw him shaking his head. “What’d I do now?”
“You realize talking like that brings down the store morale, right?”
I looked around at the store. Not a single customer in sight, and Caroline was talking on her cell phone, completely clueless. “No one heard it,” I observed. “What’s the problem? This guy put back four DVDs on the new release shelf, and I can’t be slightly upset about ignorance like that?”
“Just let it roll off your back,” he instructed. “We can’t run a store if you’re getting angry at the customers.”
Apparently you didn’t hear me, asshole! THERE AREN’T ANY CUSTOMERS IN THE STORE WHO EVEN HEARD THAT! I rolled my eyes and headed back to the remaining DVDs from shipment, but he still felt the need to follow me again.
“I’m serious, Alex,” he warned. “Acting that way is a good way to assure that you won’t get that promotion.”
“Because I get angry when no one’s looking?”
“Yes.” As the boss headed to the back room yet again, my cell phone buzzed in my pocket.
“What time are you guys open ‘til?” Brian, silly Brian.
“Two minutes before you show up,” I replied.
“You all right, bro?”
“I was just told my promotion is in jeopardy because I get angry at the customers when no one’s around.”
There was a moment of silence on the other end. It was either disbelief, or he was choking on a Skittle again. “You’re serious?”
Before I could answer, the boss headed back towards the front of the store, and I quickly flipped my phone off. “Alex, get the boxcutters.”
“Why?”
“I locked my keys in the office again, and your hands are thin. I need you to try to get the door unlocked while I call the assistant manager.”
“You know, this could be remedied if you’d give me a key to the back room instead of just the front gate,” I noted.
“You don’t get that key unless you’re promoted, and as I said earlier, you’re not headed down the right path for that! Now, please try to get the office open!” Feeling like I was in a bad episode of MacGuyver, I stripped the boxcutter of two brand new razor blades. I kneeled on the ground, but before I began, I heard Caroline ringing out a customer.
“Would you like to try eight free issues of these magazines? Absolutely free when you pay with a credit card.”
“Sure, why not?”
Unbelievable. I knew I probably was sexist for thinking it, but being cute definitely did help with trying to sell things like that. It was sad enough that the product I had the most trouble selling was, well… free. I tried to put it out of my mind while I attempted to pry the lock open and not cut myself at the same time. After about ten minutes of configuring, I finally had one part back, and it was a jack process to very slowly pull the bigger part back. The pressure was mounting from the weight, and I slipped. Frustrated, I got the position back, and began pulling it back again. Same result.
I’m the kind of person who never gives up on things, even when I don’t think it’s going to work. One more time, I propped the small part of the bar open, and forced the big part back millimeter by millimeter. Suddenly, my hand slipped and I caught my finger on the sharp edge of the razor blade. My arm jerked back in surprise, and my wrist flew directly into my face. I officially was the idiot of the day, as I had just managed to give myself a welt on the forehead. I’d just kicked my own ass, bravo. I let myself fall back, laying on the floor while the front of my head throbbed. I laughed to myself as I held the welt, and couldn’t believe all this was going down in one day.
“It’s okay, we’ve got the key,” the boss announced as he headed back. He stopped as he noticed me laying on the floor. “Taking a nap, Alex?”
“No, I punched myself in the face trying to unlock the door.”
The boss rolled his eyes. “Well done,” he sarcastically remarked as he walked into the back.
“Thanks for making sure I was all right,” I thought out loud. My eyes drifted over to the DVD rack next to me. It was the kid’s section, but someone was nice enough to have left a DVD of animated porn right in the middle of it. “Does this belong here?!” I didn’t care at that point, because that was just beyond laziness, given that the adult section was less than ten feet away. Not to mention, the one who did it was probably the same jackass who would complain when we couldn’t find something even though it was in our inventory. I remembered the previous weekend when a lady complained that the drama section wasn’t completely in alphabetical order, but five minutes later had no problem leaving an “A” movie in the “S” section and a “T” movie with the “C”s. There was no point in trying to understand it.
As I headed back to the register area, Caroline looked at me and her eyes went wide. “What happened to you?” she asked, concerned.
“A guy punched me in the face because we didn’t have the latest edition of ‘Girls Gone Wild’, and instead I offered him the movie, ‘Monsters Gone Wild.’ I figured two out of three wasn’t bad.”
Caroline stared at me blankly, and I realized my sarcasm was wasted yet again. “A guy really punched you?”
“No, Caroline.”
A customer walked up to the register area with nothing in his hand, so I assumed he had a question. “Can I help you, sir?”
“Do you guys sell curtains?”
I froze. I could not think of a response to a question so asinine. I held up one finger, as if to say “one moment”, and I walked to the back. I laid back down on the floor, out of vision, and texted this one to Brian. I didn’t think even he could outdo this one. I took a deep breath, and jumped back to my feet. To my disbelief, the customer was still there. It wasn’t a joke. I shook my head, “nah, couldn’t find any, man.”
I watched as he left the store, trying not to burst out laughing. Caroline looked confused, and she turned to me. “Why does he think we sell curtains? We’re a movie store.”
“You’ve got me there,” I laughed. For once, as scary as it was, she’d read my mind.
Help me get this read on the web... www.fictionpress.com/s/2231693/3/ scroll to the bottom of the page, at the bottom left, click the submit review button.