Post by Andy D on Mar 15, 2011 12:42:48 GMT -5
Ok, little bit of background here. First of all, reading all the amazing work everybody's been putting out put this idea in the back of my head for a while now, so I've decided to finally write it up and see what happens, even if i hadnt rped properly in 4 or 5 years now.
This is an experiment, nothing more. I've never rped in a novel style, always favoring script style. So I thought i'd give this a shot with my more serious character. Towards the end of PCW the last time (well time before that if you could the failed restart last time) I handled a different character to the 2Guys called Andy D in a different fed. He basically didnt do a lot, and i ended up with a bit of an apathetic angle on him. The PCW shut down so i threw in the 2Guys (because i always love writing them) and it made things a bit interesting.
So along with the novel aproach i'm trying, this is Andy D and the 2Guys in one room... doing stuff
Personally i think this experiment failed, as i've been scripting this thing in my head for about 3 weeks and it took another half a week to write... then theres the fact that its insainly long and nothing happens... BUT since i dont like writing things that nobody reads, you get to glance over it then tell me how rubbish it is...
Anyway, Enjoy (or not, i dont care)
------------
Previously on The Andy D Saga….
“I don’t like this Andy, it could be a trap”
Two fighter jets scream past a piece of metal that was just floating in the vastness of space, their wake sending it blasting in the direction they came from. They sped towards their destination, an asteroid field. This was no routine fly-by taken by some grunts. This was a mission, with a purpose.
“I know it’s a trap Jack,” ‘Andy’ crackled in over the radio. “That’s why I’m going in” His America Action Hero tone told you everything you needed to know about this guy, that’s if his massive, six foot six brick wall frame didn’t. He was a typical action hero, he fought the good fight, even if it was slaughtering millions of aliens in a genocidal rampage, making planets full of broken families and orphans. He had gel in his hair and a laser blaster on his hip, and that means he’s cool.
The scene of the two fighter jets flying through the asteroid field is cut with various shots of the big action hero running down corridors, firing laser guns, fixing his hair, using his bowling ball sized muscled arms to punch out aliens, who look more like they’re covered in a big black plastic bag with 2 ping pong balls stuck onto them for the eyes.
Eventually we end up on a scene in some kind of briefing room, with a giant white table in the center and several people standing around, including a 3 pilots, 2 people dressed in bizarre costumes, some guy painted silver with cardboard box like stuff around his body to make him look like a robot, and ‘Andy’ standing at the head of the table.
“All I have to do,” ‘Andy’ started “is navigate a densely packed asteroid field, get past the thousands of enemy ships guarding the planet, sneak into the heavily fortified base, break the unbreakable security grid and rescue the babe.”
“From scratch, it takes me 3.75928 minutes to make breakfast.” The robot stated “Would you like me to start it now or do you not think you’ll make it back in time?”
Back to the Action hero running down a corridor, he stops in front of a door that is probably suppose to be made out of steel or something (being on a space station) and proceeds to kick it down as if it was made out of cardboard (which it probably was). Inside the room beyond is a very scantily clad woman chained up to the wall.
“You’ve come to rescue me. My Hero”
“Of course I did, that’s…”
“OK STOP”
I said I’d give it a minute and I did, just… but I can’t watch anymore of this… this…
“What the hell is this?” I said dumbfounded. That’s probably close to the mentality of the guys I was talking to. Standing either side of the TV monitor where I’d just watched… whatever the hell that thing was, were Jackle and Menace, the stupid tag team known as the 2Guys
“You don’t like it?” Menace asked with the same kind of look a 4 year old has when they hand you a picture of a bunch of scribbles and expect you to say it’s a masterpiece. That whole ‘please, please say its good, please, or you’ll destroy my fragile little psyche and I’ll grow up with negative reinforcements turning me into a psychopath… or a sociopath, one of the two.’
“Like what? I don’t even know what the hell that was supposed to be” I repeated my sentiment
“It’s your history recap” Jackle responded in that serious way of his. Between the two of them, you knew Menace was of the wall as his face was nothing more than stupidity and mischief… but looking at Jackle you’d think he was the serious one, the straight man of the comedy act if it were. That is until he says something, then you realise he’s batting at the same level as Menace.
It took me a few moments to actually find words to respond. When I finally did, I ended up with the obvious “but that has nothing to do with my wrestling career”
“Well yeah,” Menace started “but if we did it based on your wrestling career we wouldn’t really have much of a recap to do”
“Exactly” Jackle jumped into the conversation “That Bladen Walker guy had more interesting career than you’ve got”
“Hell, even Gangsta Hip-Hop has had more of an interesting career within PCW than you’ve ever had.” Menace added
“Whoa,” Jackle quickly interjected “don’t make any specific promotional references”
“Why?”
“Well because then, if Andy ends up going to any federation, we could use this as his introduction piece”
The 2Guys stare of in the same direction with a look on their face that says, yeah, we just broke the forth wall. It might have helped if there was a camera or a forth wall to break.
“They do have a point” the feminine voice from the other side of the room stated “you kind of just lie on benches not caring about things.” she gave a pause, looking at me lying on a bench (which I had done shortly after the TV was turned off) before adding “A lot”
“Thank you Lucy” Menace said
“Thank you Lucy” Jackle said
“Thank you, Lucy!” I sarcastically responded, slight bit of venom dripping from my words. “You do realise you are agreeing with these two” I said, waiving my hand towards the 2Moron’s direction. Lucy took one long look at them, smiling in that idiotic way they’ve seemed to have mastered
“Oops” Lucy said before adding an apologetic “Sorry.”
Lucy then went and buried her head back into her books and clipboards. My manager, who although I asked for I never got to chose, Lucy Hunt was always working from a pile of books so large she shouldn’t be able to carry them around, and constantly making notes on pieces of paper attached to a clip board. I keep telling her to get one of these tablet PC things, but she’s having none of it.
The one and only Lucy Hunt is my manager though, not some valet that accompanies me down to the ring. She does all the arraignments I need making when I don’t have time to make them. And she does a great job. I’m not on flights that take me half way around the world in order to get down the country. I’m not booked into hotels so bad they don’t even get a star rating and the cockroaches even turn their noses up at them and refuse to stay there.
If it wasn’t for the whole sibling like teasing she keeps attacking me with, I’d probably tell her how much I appreciate her doing her job so well. But no, within an hour of meeting me she decided I was her new kid brother and the verbal abuse started pretty much after that.
I know Lucy is older than me, although I don’t know by how much, it is rude to ask a lady her age you know. She always wears these skirt suit things you see business executives people wear, but she doesn’t seem to wear them to be smart, as if this is just the kind of thing she’s always been comfortable in wearing. They’re not boring black but they’re also not some kind of hot pink, they’ve got enough colour to stand out from being dull, but not enough to be in your face.
This is a complete contradiction from Moron and Jackass, who want to be in your face all the time. How they managed to end up as my ‘creative directors’ is beyond my knowledge. Also beyond my knowledge is how to get rid of them. I’ll figure that out some day.
“Ok, forget your recap,” Menace started, turning his attention back to me “Let’s talk rebranding”
“What I am I, a fast food chain or something?” I threw the comment out there but everybody just ignored it
“We’ve had a look at the gimmick you’ve had in the past” Jackle started
“I haven’t had a gimmick” I interjected
“Everybody has a gimmick, it’s about what you’re about, not about the stupid stuff you dress up in” Menace explained
“Says the guy who wore a pink dress” I retorted
“Look, that was for a Legend of Zelda parody, and parodies are part of our gimmick” Menace explained
“Cross Dressing and being stupid is a gimmick now?” I said “I thought it was grounds for admission into a mental health institute”
“Look, being stupid is cool okay.” Menace started his argument back “I remember a dentist called Toothache who was awesome”
“Toothache was crazy, not stupid” I countered. This caused stunned looks on both of the 2Guys
“How do you know of Toothache? He was way before your time” Menace asked, completely flabbergasted at my knowledge. I sat up on the bench and looked Menace deep in the eye with a smirk on my face
“You and I” I started “We share a writer”
Yeah, that’s right – I can break the forth wall too, bitch!
“Look, can we get back on topic here” Jackle spoke up. I went back to lying down on the bench I was currently sat upon.
“I didn’t think proving how stupid you two were was considered a topic” I said fairly smugly. I could hear Lucy chuckling in the corner, but she knew better than to get involved in the headache that these two easily induced
“Look,” Menace started off again… he likes that word to start his sentence it seems “You need a new gimmick”
“Otherwise no federation is really going to hire you” Jackle added on
“He’d have to have had an old gimmick before getting a new one” Lucy muttered, unfortunately it was loud enough for everyone to hear. I glanced over at her and she was looking at the 2Guys like she was a deer in a set of headlights. She knew what she had done, and it was too late to back out of the conversation now.
“But he did have a gimmick” Jackle corrected Lucy
“His apathy is a gimmick”
“Whatever” I sighed in response… I thought it was a pretty ironic response at the time.
“See!” Menace pointed out to Lucy, an arm waving in my general direction “Apathy gimmick, right there”
I understand where this view of me being apathetic came from… in part they’re right. Apathy is the lack of caring about something. And in some respects I don’t. I never cared who my opponent was going to be, I never cared what kind of match I was thrown into, I never cared about getting any kind of title. I learnt very quickly into my career that to obsess and stress over these things will lead to an early grave, let alone a short career.
And then there’s the bench lying bit. I’m ribbed by Lucy, and other friends and associates for that matter, that I’m always lying around on a bench inside a locker room. This isn’t entirely true, although I am found that way a lot. I train hard, just because I don’t care about my opponent or progressing up to the top of the food chain doesn’t mean I slack off like a couple of other wrestlers found in my room right now. However when I take a break from training, and I’m not travelling or eating, I like to just chill out and think. I like sitting out on park benches watching clouds drift by in the sky. I like sitting at the windows of bars or café’s watching everybody go about their daily life. But when you’re stuck inside an arena, because you’re taking a 15 minute break from training, because you had to show up 5 hours early because that’s what’s asked of you, or for any other reason, the bench in a locker room is the best place to sit and contemplate. And because lying down on those long, wooden benches with no backs on them is more comfortable for me than sitting on them, that’s how I’m usually found by other people
But does that make me apathetic? No, usually I’m thinking about my match in some way, focusing my mind on what my body can and can’t do. Does not really wanting to cut these ‘trash talking’ promotional material mean I’m apathetic? No, just means I’m not going to get to high up the ladder by thinking everybody’s not that bad a bloke.
“I don’t have an apathetic gimmick” I responded half heartedly, not really wanting to be a part of this conversation “I was going to have one, but in the end I couldn’t be bothered” I heard Lucy suppress a laugh, but it completely passed Jackle and Menace by
“Ok, but for a new gimmick how about this” Menace said while Jackle got one of these portable flip charts. He proceeded to flip to a certain page.
“How about ‘The mask of D’” Jackle said with some kind of movie trailer voice
“Wait, before you say no” Menace started
“No” I just threw it out there anyway
“Is that a no to waiting or a no to the idea?” Menace asked before shaking his head in a ‘doesn’t matter’ way and carried on with the gimmick idea “Anyway, you dress up in this cross between a bull fighter and Zorro, and with your sword, you mark a D into your opponents clothes, or psych them out by scratching it into their locker room doors and stuff”
It took me about a minute to respond, failing to find the words. Eventually I managed to say “You do realise that the sword wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a ring, right?” the 2Guys stared at me blankly for a second before turning to each other
“We didn’t think of that?” Menace asked
“We didn’t think of that” Jackle respond.
“Ok” Menace said, turning back to me “Let’s try the next one”
Jackle once again started flipping the pages to the next idea, once he got the right page, he presented it with a ‘Tada’ voice “How about ‘Space marine Andy’”
“Oh for…” I muttered, not even able to finish my sentence
“This kind of links into the video we showed you earlier.” Menace said, reminding me of that strange thing I’d somehow managed to forget about
“You’d be the All American Action Hero” Jackle added
“Ready to defend the world from Alien Invaders”
“And we’ve got some great ideas for your promos, tell him Menace”
“Yeah” Menace started enthusiastically “Each PPV period you’d be defending earth against a new alien threat”
“And then each week” Jackle carried on “You’d be in different battles, maybe fighting it out in space ships or rescuing babes from space stations, that kind of thing”
“Ok, two problems here” I started “One, how can I be an All American Action Hero when I’m British”
“And you’re quite skinny to be an action hero” Jackle threw in. It was an unintentional insult, but I let it slide because it made my point
“Oh Kay” Menace thought slowly, trying to come up with a retort. After a couple of minutes of failing to come up with anything, he asked “What’s the second problem?”
“Where exactly are you going to get the money to finance special effect for space ship battles?”
Menace sprang to life, finger in the air, ready to point at me while he made his response. But just before he says anything, he stops, looks over at Jackle, who goes on to shrug his shoulders. Menace turns back to me
“Ok” Menace starts “Let’s go to option number 3”
“Oh goody!” I sarcastically said, wondering how Lucy managed to stay unnoticed for so long now
“We know you like to use your speed during a match” Jackle said, still flipping the chart to his next page… why they didn’t put the ideas on consecutive pages I will never know.
“Right, you’ve even got that whole quick and the dead catchphrase” Menace interjected “which I actually don’t understand…”
“Anyway” Jackle picked up from Menace “We present to you ‘The D’”
The page they showed me was hard to describe other than it was stealing the flash’s costume, making it more blue than red and instead of a lightning bolt it had a large D in the middle
“You’d be a superhero,” Menace proudly said “beating up villains using your speed and agility”
I had to bring my hands up to my forehead in a vain attempt at stopping the headache that was forming at this point. However the headache had brought forward an idea which had eluded me for the last half an hour
“Gentlemen” I started, jumping up from the bench where I was laying to put my arms around both Jackle and Menace. Being stood between them worked fairly well since I was taller than Menace but shorter than Jackle. “I tell you what I’m going to do.”
“Beat us to a bloody pulp?” Jackle asked
“Smash something important to us into a million pieces?” Menace asked
“All great ideas” I started, slowly moving them towards the door “But here’s what I’m actually going to do. When I manage to get a contract to wrestle at some federation, I’m going to call you guys”
“Oh, that’s nice of you” Menace said
“Then, and only then” I exaggerated the second then just to make sure they got the message “You can start thinking up gimmick ideas”
“Fantastic!” Menace exclaimed
“Excellent” Jackle joined in.
“Ok guys” I opened the door and practically shoved them out the door “until I get a contract then” Before they could say any kind of goodbye, I slammed the door in their faces.
The sigh I gave was very heavy and very audible. “That wont stop them you know” Lucy finally spoke up, I looked at her while I walked back to sit down on the bench “Just because you have to have whatever gimmick your going to use locked down when you sign a contract wont stop those two thinking up more for you”
“True,” I respond “but at least they’ll leave me alone for a while now”
“Knowing your luck” Lucy said “You’ll get a contract tomorrow and have to deal with them again”
With that, I gave a cross between a laugh and a sigh before going back to lying down on the bench. The quiet was soothing, and the thoughts were my own again. I could focus on Lucy scribbling whatever it was she was scribbling onto one of the pages on her clipboard, flipping through the pages of one of her books. This wasn’t apathy, just relaxing that’s all
Ah frag it! I can’t be bothered to defend my position anymore
This is an experiment, nothing more. I've never rped in a novel style, always favoring script style. So I thought i'd give this a shot with my more serious character. Towards the end of PCW the last time (well time before that if you could the failed restart last time) I handled a different character to the 2Guys called Andy D in a different fed. He basically didnt do a lot, and i ended up with a bit of an apathetic angle on him. The PCW shut down so i threw in the 2Guys (because i always love writing them) and it made things a bit interesting.
So along with the novel aproach i'm trying, this is Andy D and the 2Guys in one room... doing stuff
Personally i think this experiment failed, as i've been scripting this thing in my head for about 3 weeks and it took another half a week to write... then theres the fact that its insainly long and nothing happens... BUT since i dont like writing things that nobody reads, you get to glance over it then tell me how rubbish it is...
Anyway, Enjoy (or not, i dont care)
------------
Previously on The Andy D Saga….
“I don’t like this Andy, it could be a trap”
Two fighter jets scream past a piece of metal that was just floating in the vastness of space, their wake sending it blasting in the direction they came from. They sped towards their destination, an asteroid field. This was no routine fly-by taken by some grunts. This was a mission, with a purpose.
“I know it’s a trap Jack,” ‘Andy’ crackled in over the radio. “That’s why I’m going in” His America Action Hero tone told you everything you needed to know about this guy, that’s if his massive, six foot six brick wall frame didn’t. He was a typical action hero, he fought the good fight, even if it was slaughtering millions of aliens in a genocidal rampage, making planets full of broken families and orphans. He had gel in his hair and a laser blaster on his hip, and that means he’s cool.
The scene of the two fighter jets flying through the asteroid field is cut with various shots of the big action hero running down corridors, firing laser guns, fixing his hair, using his bowling ball sized muscled arms to punch out aliens, who look more like they’re covered in a big black plastic bag with 2 ping pong balls stuck onto them for the eyes.
Eventually we end up on a scene in some kind of briefing room, with a giant white table in the center and several people standing around, including a 3 pilots, 2 people dressed in bizarre costumes, some guy painted silver with cardboard box like stuff around his body to make him look like a robot, and ‘Andy’ standing at the head of the table.
“All I have to do,” ‘Andy’ started “is navigate a densely packed asteroid field, get past the thousands of enemy ships guarding the planet, sneak into the heavily fortified base, break the unbreakable security grid and rescue the babe.”
“From scratch, it takes me 3.75928 minutes to make breakfast.” The robot stated “Would you like me to start it now or do you not think you’ll make it back in time?”
Back to the Action hero running down a corridor, he stops in front of a door that is probably suppose to be made out of steel or something (being on a space station) and proceeds to kick it down as if it was made out of cardboard (which it probably was). Inside the room beyond is a very scantily clad woman chained up to the wall.
“You’ve come to rescue me. My Hero”
“Of course I did, that’s…”
“OK STOP”
I said I’d give it a minute and I did, just… but I can’t watch anymore of this… this…
“What the hell is this?” I said dumbfounded. That’s probably close to the mentality of the guys I was talking to. Standing either side of the TV monitor where I’d just watched… whatever the hell that thing was, were Jackle and Menace, the stupid tag team known as the 2Guys
“You don’t like it?” Menace asked with the same kind of look a 4 year old has when they hand you a picture of a bunch of scribbles and expect you to say it’s a masterpiece. That whole ‘please, please say its good, please, or you’ll destroy my fragile little psyche and I’ll grow up with negative reinforcements turning me into a psychopath… or a sociopath, one of the two.’
“Like what? I don’t even know what the hell that was supposed to be” I repeated my sentiment
“It’s your history recap” Jackle responded in that serious way of his. Between the two of them, you knew Menace was of the wall as his face was nothing more than stupidity and mischief… but looking at Jackle you’d think he was the serious one, the straight man of the comedy act if it were. That is until he says something, then you realise he’s batting at the same level as Menace.
It took me a few moments to actually find words to respond. When I finally did, I ended up with the obvious “but that has nothing to do with my wrestling career”
“Well yeah,” Menace started “but if we did it based on your wrestling career we wouldn’t really have much of a recap to do”
“Exactly” Jackle jumped into the conversation “That Bladen Walker guy had more interesting career than you’ve got”
“Hell, even Gangsta Hip-Hop has had more of an interesting career within PCW than you’ve ever had.” Menace added
“Whoa,” Jackle quickly interjected “don’t make any specific promotional references”
“Why?”
“Well because then, if Andy ends up going to any federation, we could use this as his introduction piece”
The 2Guys stare of in the same direction with a look on their face that says, yeah, we just broke the forth wall. It might have helped if there was a camera or a forth wall to break.
“They do have a point” the feminine voice from the other side of the room stated “you kind of just lie on benches not caring about things.” she gave a pause, looking at me lying on a bench (which I had done shortly after the TV was turned off) before adding “A lot”
“Thank you Lucy” Menace said
“Thank you Lucy” Jackle said
“Thank you, Lucy!” I sarcastically responded, slight bit of venom dripping from my words. “You do realise you are agreeing with these two” I said, waiving my hand towards the 2Moron’s direction. Lucy took one long look at them, smiling in that idiotic way they’ve seemed to have mastered
“Oops” Lucy said before adding an apologetic “Sorry.”
Lucy then went and buried her head back into her books and clipboards. My manager, who although I asked for I never got to chose, Lucy Hunt was always working from a pile of books so large she shouldn’t be able to carry them around, and constantly making notes on pieces of paper attached to a clip board. I keep telling her to get one of these tablet PC things, but she’s having none of it.
The one and only Lucy Hunt is my manager though, not some valet that accompanies me down to the ring. She does all the arraignments I need making when I don’t have time to make them. And she does a great job. I’m not on flights that take me half way around the world in order to get down the country. I’m not booked into hotels so bad they don’t even get a star rating and the cockroaches even turn their noses up at them and refuse to stay there.
If it wasn’t for the whole sibling like teasing she keeps attacking me with, I’d probably tell her how much I appreciate her doing her job so well. But no, within an hour of meeting me she decided I was her new kid brother and the verbal abuse started pretty much after that.
I know Lucy is older than me, although I don’t know by how much, it is rude to ask a lady her age you know. She always wears these skirt suit things you see business executives people wear, but she doesn’t seem to wear them to be smart, as if this is just the kind of thing she’s always been comfortable in wearing. They’re not boring black but they’re also not some kind of hot pink, they’ve got enough colour to stand out from being dull, but not enough to be in your face.
This is a complete contradiction from Moron and Jackass, who want to be in your face all the time. How they managed to end up as my ‘creative directors’ is beyond my knowledge. Also beyond my knowledge is how to get rid of them. I’ll figure that out some day.
“Ok, forget your recap,” Menace started, turning his attention back to me “Let’s talk rebranding”
“What I am I, a fast food chain or something?” I threw the comment out there but everybody just ignored it
“We’ve had a look at the gimmick you’ve had in the past” Jackle started
“I haven’t had a gimmick” I interjected
“Everybody has a gimmick, it’s about what you’re about, not about the stupid stuff you dress up in” Menace explained
“Says the guy who wore a pink dress” I retorted
“Look, that was for a Legend of Zelda parody, and parodies are part of our gimmick” Menace explained
“Cross Dressing and being stupid is a gimmick now?” I said “I thought it was grounds for admission into a mental health institute”
“Look, being stupid is cool okay.” Menace started his argument back “I remember a dentist called Toothache who was awesome”
“Toothache was crazy, not stupid” I countered. This caused stunned looks on both of the 2Guys
“How do you know of Toothache? He was way before your time” Menace asked, completely flabbergasted at my knowledge. I sat up on the bench and looked Menace deep in the eye with a smirk on my face
“You and I” I started “We share a writer”
Yeah, that’s right – I can break the forth wall too, bitch!
“Look, can we get back on topic here” Jackle spoke up. I went back to lying down on the bench I was currently sat upon.
“I didn’t think proving how stupid you two were was considered a topic” I said fairly smugly. I could hear Lucy chuckling in the corner, but she knew better than to get involved in the headache that these two easily induced
“Look,” Menace started off again… he likes that word to start his sentence it seems “You need a new gimmick”
“Otherwise no federation is really going to hire you” Jackle added on
“He’d have to have had an old gimmick before getting a new one” Lucy muttered, unfortunately it was loud enough for everyone to hear. I glanced over at her and she was looking at the 2Guys like she was a deer in a set of headlights. She knew what she had done, and it was too late to back out of the conversation now.
“But he did have a gimmick” Jackle corrected Lucy
“His apathy is a gimmick”
“Whatever” I sighed in response… I thought it was a pretty ironic response at the time.
“See!” Menace pointed out to Lucy, an arm waving in my general direction “Apathy gimmick, right there”
I understand where this view of me being apathetic came from… in part they’re right. Apathy is the lack of caring about something. And in some respects I don’t. I never cared who my opponent was going to be, I never cared what kind of match I was thrown into, I never cared about getting any kind of title. I learnt very quickly into my career that to obsess and stress over these things will lead to an early grave, let alone a short career.
And then there’s the bench lying bit. I’m ribbed by Lucy, and other friends and associates for that matter, that I’m always lying around on a bench inside a locker room. This isn’t entirely true, although I am found that way a lot. I train hard, just because I don’t care about my opponent or progressing up to the top of the food chain doesn’t mean I slack off like a couple of other wrestlers found in my room right now. However when I take a break from training, and I’m not travelling or eating, I like to just chill out and think. I like sitting out on park benches watching clouds drift by in the sky. I like sitting at the windows of bars or café’s watching everybody go about their daily life. But when you’re stuck inside an arena, because you’re taking a 15 minute break from training, because you had to show up 5 hours early because that’s what’s asked of you, or for any other reason, the bench in a locker room is the best place to sit and contemplate. And because lying down on those long, wooden benches with no backs on them is more comfortable for me than sitting on them, that’s how I’m usually found by other people
But does that make me apathetic? No, usually I’m thinking about my match in some way, focusing my mind on what my body can and can’t do. Does not really wanting to cut these ‘trash talking’ promotional material mean I’m apathetic? No, just means I’m not going to get to high up the ladder by thinking everybody’s not that bad a bloke.
“I don’t have an apathetic gimmick” I responded half heartedly, not really wanting to be a part of this conversation “I was going to have one, but in the end I couldn’t be bothered” I heard Lucy suppress a laugh, but it completely passed Jackle and Menace by
“Ok, but for a new gimmick how about this” Menace said while Jackle got one of these portable flip charts. He proceeded to flip to a certain page.
“How about ‘The mask of D’” Jackle said with some kind of movie trailer voice
“Wait, before you say no” Menace started
“No” I just threw it out there anyway
“Is that a no to waiting or a no to the idea?” Menace asked before shaking his head in a ‘doesn’t matter’ way and carried on with the gimmick idea “Anyway, you dress up in this cross between a bull fighter and Zorro, and with your sword, you mark a D into your opponents clothes, or psych them out by scratching it into their locker room doors and stuff”
It took me about a minute to respond, failing to find the words. Eventually I managed to say “You do realise that the sword wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a ring, right?” the 2Guys stared at me blankly for a second before turning to each other
“We didn’t think of that?” Menace asked
“We didn’t think of that” Jackle respond.
“Ok” Menace said, turning back to me “Let’s try the next one”
Jackle once again started flipping the pages to the next idea, once he got the right page, he presented it with a ‘Tada’ voice “How about ‘Space marine Andy’”
“Oh for…” I muttered, not even able to finish my sentence
“This kind of links into the video we showed you earlier.” Menace said, reminding me of that strange thing I’d somehow managed to forget about
“You’d be the All American Action Hero” Jackle added
“Ready to defend the world from Alien Invaders”
“And we’ve got some great ideas for your promos, tell him Menace”
“Yeah” Menace started enthusiastically “Each PPV period you’d be defending earth against a new alien threat”
“And then each week” Jackle carried on “You’d be in different battles, maybe fighting it out in space ships or rescuing babes from space stations, that kind of thing”
“Ok, two problems here” I started “One, how can I be an All American Action Hero when I’m British”
“And you’re quite skinny to be an action hero” Jackle threw in. It was an unintentional insult, but I let it slide because it made my point
“Oh Kay” Menace thought slowly, trying to come up with a retort. After a couple of minutes of failing to come up with anything, he asked “What’s the second problem?”
“Where exactly are you going to get the money to finance special effect for space ship battles?”
Menace sprang to life, finger in the air, ready to point at me while he made his response. But just before he says anything, he stops, looks over at Jackle, who goes on to shrug his shoulders. Menace turns back to me
“Ok” Menace starts “Let’s go to option number 3”
“Oh goody!” I sarcastically said, wondering how Lucy managed to stay unnoticed for so long now
“We know you like to use your speed during a match” Jackle said, still flipping the chart to his next page… why they didn’t put the ideas on consecutive pages I will never know.
“Right, you’ve even got that whole quick and the dead catchphrase” Menace interjected “which I actually don’t understand…”
“Anyway” Jackle picked up from Menace “We present to you ‘The D’”
The page they showed me was hard to describe other than it was stealing the flash’s costume, making it more blue than red and instead of a lightning bolt it had a large D in the middle
“You’d be a superhero,” Menace proudly said “beating up villains using your speed and agility”
I had to bring my hands up to my forehead in a vain attempt at stopping the headache that was forming at this point. However the headache had brought forward an idea which had eluded me for the last half an hour
“Gentlemen” I started, jumping up from the bench where I was laying to put my arms around both Jackle and Menace. Being stood between them worked fairly well since I was taller than Menace but shorter than Jackle. “I tell you what I’m going to do.”
“Beat us to a bloody pulp?” Jackle asked
“Smash something important to us into a million pieces?” Menace asked
“All great ideas” I started, slowly moving them towards the door “But here’s what I’m actually going to do. When I manage to get a contract to wrestle at some federation, I’m going to call you guys”
“Oh, that’s nice of you” Menace said
“Then, and only then” I exaggerated the second then just to make sure they got the message “You can start thinking up gimmick ideas”
“Fantastic!” Menace exclaimed
“Excellent” Jackle joined in.
“Ok guys” I opened the door and practically shoved them out the door “until I get a contract then” Before they could say any kind of goodbye, I slammed the door in their faces.
The sigh I gave was very heavy and very audible. “That wont stop them you know” Lucy finally spoke up, I looked at her while I walked back to sit down on the bench “Just because you have to have whatever gimmick your going to use locked down when you sign a contract wont stop those two thinking up more for you”
“True,” I respond “but at least they’ll leave me alone for a while now”
“Knowing your luck” Lucy said “You’ll get a contract tomorrow and have to deal with them again”
With that, I gave a cross between a laugh and a sigh before going back to lying down on the bench. The quiet was soothing, and the thoughts were my own again. I could focus on Lucy scribbling whatever it was she was scribbling onto one of the pages on her clipboard, flipping through the pages of one of her books. This wasn’t apathy, just relaxing that’s all
Ah frag it! I can’t be bothered to defend my position anymore