Post by Heavy Metal on May 9, 2011 0:38:54 GMT -5
Mom: “Your father and I are going out. You finish your homework and clean your room, young man. And no television!”
Kid: “Yes, mom.”
Mom: “And NO friends over! You’re still grounded for giving the cat a mohawk!”
Cat: “Mow?”
Kid: “Yes, mom.”
The gawky teenager in a PCW t-shirt sits dejected on the couch, alone in an immaculate living room full of family portraits and Hummel figurines. With a bored sigh, he moves to grab one of his schoolbooks, then decides that’s a terrible idea and throws it back on the stack. Snagging the remote instead, it's time for some channel surfing. Cooking show, game show, news, a weeping evangelist. Die, Smiling Bob! The kid groans and looks utterly depressed when…
1 2 3 4!
I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's dress,
I'm the smile on every criminal you'll ever acquit.
I'm the things you've done you'll never admit.
'Cause one hand is on the bible and the other’s in sh*t!
The stars of Pure Class Wrestling start to flash across the screen in a frantic montage of ring action. The teen pumps his fist to the music, and the camera pulls back to reveal Crazy Boy Tyrone Smith occupying the recliner! PCW’s tattooed hooligan is upside down with his legs hanging over the back of the chair, cheering along!
Right now, your face is in the crowd, I'm shouting out loud, the one you counted out of the game…
LoKi and Lantlas are battling it out on screen when Nacho Grande saunters into the living room. Laden with most serious snackage, the wild luchador hands the kid a Fresco Burrito Supreme and plants himself on the couch to enjoy the show.
Oh wow, take a good look at me now, should have never had a doubt, is that you I hear screaming my name…
Pegasus and Usali Basilisk are setting out bowls of chips and miscellaneous party food, and Pegs hands the Exalted One a glass of punch. Basilisk starts to take a drink, but of course has his ceremonial mask on so it doesn’t work too well. The Winged Horse shrugs apologetically, and then does a spit take when he sees The Watcher peeking in the window.
I'm a roller, I'm a rider, number one motherf*ckin' survivor!
The television screen starts to jump and flicker making everyone groan. Non Compos Mentis stalks up to the TV, eyes it dourly… and violently headbutts it! Domestic knick knackery goes flying everywhere, but the picture is clear as a bell again. Mentis glares, daring it to try that one more time.
So move over, I'm the driver, and I'm high and I'm gonna keep getting higher!
The kid’s eyes nervously dart back and forth from Grimm to Sadistic. The Horrors of Hangtown are parked on either side of him, grimly watching the action and sadistically eating Crunchwrap Supremes as the crumbs pile up in their beards. The teen gulps and hunches in his seat, trying to be inconspicuous.
I'm the one you thought that you could erase, but a predator that's faster than the food that he chased!
LoKi stops partying long enough to go answer the door because he’s cool like that. What do you know; it’s none other than Blade Lionheart! Bedraggled and drenched to the skin from the rain, he puts on a hopeful smile. LoKi shuts the door in his face and walks away laughing and shaking his head.
When you fall off the horse you brought to the race, I'll be the one who's flying by you kickin' sh*t in your face!
Ain’t a party without girls, right? Good thing Heavy Metal came prepared with half a dozen gorgeous bikini models. The kid ogles the scantily clad girl on his lap as Metal shoots him the devil horns and some air guitar action.
Mom: “WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN HERE!?!”
Crap, busted! Everybody freezes in place, caught red handed amid the party debris. Heavy Metal is poised in mid rock-out, LoKi has a girl on each arm, and Crazy Boy has a couple of cinnamon twists stuck up his nose. Our hero’s eyes are wide as he looks guiltily from the trashed living room, to the bikini model, to his mom.
Kid: “Uh…”
(Blackout)
Kid: “Yes, mom.”
Mom: “And NO friends over! You’re still grounded for giving the cat a mohawk!”
Cat: “Mow?”
Kid: “Yes, mom.”
The gawky teenager in a PCW t-shirt sits dejected on the couch, alone in an immaculate living room full of family portraits and Hummel figurines. With a bored sigh, he moves to grab one of his schoolbooks, then decides that’s a terrible idea and throws it back on the stack. Snagging the remote instead, it's time for some channel surfing. Cooking show, game show, news, a weeping evangelist. Die, Smiling Bob! The kid groans and looks utterly depressed when…
1 2 3 4!
I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's dress,
I'm the smile on every criminal you'll ever acquit.
I'm the things you've done you'll never admit.
'Cause one hand is on the bible and the other’s in sh*t!
The stars of Pure Class Wrestling start to flash across the screen in a frantic montage of ring action. The teen pumps his fist to the music, and the camera pulls back to reveal Crazy Boy Tyrone Smith occupying the recliner! PCW’s tattooed hooligan is upside down with his legs hanging over the back of the chair, cheering along!
Right now, your face is in the crowd, I'm shouting out loud, the one you counted out of the game…
LoKi and Lantlas are battling it out on screen when Nacho Grande saunters into the living room. Laden with most serious snackage, the wild luchador hands the kid a Fresco Burrito Supreme and plants himself on the couch to enjoy the show.
Oh wow, take a good look at me now, should have never had a doubt, is that you I hear screaming my name…
Pegasus and Usali Basilisk are setting out bowls of chips and miscellaneous party food, and Pegs hands the Exalted One a glass of punch. Basilisk starts to take a drink, but of course has his ceremonial mask on so it doesn’t work too well. The Winged Horse shrugs apologetically, and then does a spit take when he sees The Watcher peeking in the window.
I'm a roller, I'm a rider, number one motherf*ckin' survivor!
The television screen starts to jump and flicker making everyone groan. Non Compos Mentis stalks up to the TV, eyes it dourly… and violently headbutts it! Domestic knick knackery goes flying everywhere, but the picture is clear as a bell again. Mentis glares, daring it to try that one more time.
So move over, I'm the driver, and I'm high and I'm gonna keep getting higher!
The kid’s eyes nervously dart back and forth from Grimm to Sadistic. The Horrors of Hangtown are parked on either side of him, grimly watching the action and sadistically eating Crunchwrap Supremes as the crumbs pile up in their beards. The teen gulps and hunches in his seat, trying to be inconspicuous.
I'm the one you thought that you could erase, but a predator that's faster than the food that he chased!
LoKi stops partying long enough to go answer the door because he’s cool like that. What do you know; it’s none other than Blade Lionheart! Bedraggled and drenched to the skin from the rain, he puts on a hopeful smile. LoKi shuts the door in his face and walks away laughing and shaking his head.
When you fall off the horse you brought to the race, I'll be the one who's flying by you kickin' sh*t in your face!
Ain’t a party without girls, right? Good thing Heavy Metal came prepared with half a dozen gorgeous bikini models. The kid ogles the scantily clad girl on his lap as Metal shoots him the devil horns and some air guitar action.
Mom: “WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN HERE!?!”
Crap, busted! Everybody freezes in place, caught red handed amid the party debris. Heavy Metal is poised in mid rock-out, LoKi has a girl on each arm, and Crazy Boy has a couple of cinnamon twists stuck up his nose. Our hero’s eyes are wide as he looks guiltily from the trashed living room, to the bikini model, to his mom.
Kid: “Uh…”
(Blackout)
PCW
Got class?
Got class?