Post by Andy D on Jul 2, 2012 18:27:24 GMT -5
Amongst some of the stressful things that give me a headache, going to shop for a new car is one of them. Spending time with the 2Guys is another, so when they decided to take me out to buy a new car, I knew I was in trouble from the start.
I was taken to this massive car sales place couple hours drive away from Greenville. Not affiliated with any kind of dealer or maker in specific, they offered every kind of make and model you could think of (ok, maybe not every model, but they sure had a lot of cars).
“Remind me again why I’m doing this?” I had to ask, already regretting falling for whatever excuse or manipulation the 2Guys used to get me to actually come out here and look at these cars.
“Because you’ve been based in Greenville now for several months.” Jackle started “It’s time you got your own set of wheels”
“Yeah, we’re sick of driving you everywhere to be honest” Menace bluntly added
“When have I ever asked you to drive me anywhere?” I asked, offended at the accusation
“We drive you all the time” Menace pointed out
“I said, when have I ever asked you to drive me?” I reiterated
“How about that time we took you out to that signing session?” Jackle pointed out
“You mean the time you offered to take me to the airport where I had a plane to go across country and instead you drove me the whole way there?” I counter argued
“Oh… err how about the time we took you home from the arena?” Menace added
“Was that the time I had that suspected concussion and the EMT’s wanted me to go to the hospital, and I agreed with them?”
“Yeah, maybe…” Jackle sheepishly responded before he perked up “You were fine through, right?”
“Only because I took a taxi to the hospital after you guys left.”
“Oh.” Menace had a dejected look, pondering another option for a moment “what about that baseball trip we took a couple of weeks ago then”
“You knocked me on the head with a shovel and threw me into the back of the car!” I exclaimed, and after a couple of moments they hit a massive realisation. “And I still haven’t forgiven you for that” I added
“Oh, you have forgiven us” Menace nonchalantly said
“Oh I have forgiven you?” I asked in a sort of sarcastic manner
“See, you even just admitted it” Jackle said, patting me on the back as the 2Guys carried on walking further into the car lot. Its at times like these I truly believe the 2Guys are evil geniuses.
Their manipulation of me may be the reason I’ve done stupid stuff, or maybe just the reason I’ve still be stuck with them and their headache inducing antics. But it wasn’t any kind of manipulation that saw me head out to face those AWA invaders on Trauma 114. I also didn’t go out there to help Grimm or Nacho. Those guys don’t need help from me that’s for sure. Grimm is… well Grimm. And Nacho? He stood up to Grimm and survived. Those are two tough S.O.B’s right there. But I, like I assume all of us who went out to that ring, had just about enough of those guys. And standing up for the PCW Faithful? Yeah, that’s something I can easily do. I will easily do.
And it looked like Walker was willing to stand up for those guys too. Sure, the AWA wasn’t impressed, and even the top dog Icemann may not have liked it. But I know I enjoyed that little clusterfuck of a match. And the PCW faithful were on their feet cheering for this strange collection of Team PCW. And whatever our pasts, whatever our reasons for standing in that ring against those invaders, we will defend our honour and integrity, the honour and integrity of PCW as a whole and the honour and integrity of all the PCW fans who enjoy our product in any form. Except for Areas of course, that traitor can just go choke on a chicken bone or something.
“Hi, my name is Sally, I’ll be your personal advisor today” This southern bell accent came floating across the lot as this late 20’s, early 30’s slim blond in a business suit came approaching us. The sales rep, obviously, going to try and get us to buy. Something I was a little against. “So are you gentlemen looking for anything in particular”
“How about a Mustang Sally” Jackle jumped in before I could respond.
“Well alrighty” Sally said enthusiastically “Right this way”
“What?” Jackle questioned, noticing the death glare I was shooting his way which wasn’t killing him “I can totally see you driving a mustang”
“Ooh, how about this one” Menace exclaimed as he passed by a car that caught his eye. “It looks like a beautiful red Corvette”
“It’s a little small” I said, commenting on it after I finally had a good look at the vehicle in question.
“Ok, fine. It’s a Little Red Corvette” Menace conceded, irritated. “Happy?”
“Not with that one” I muttered just loud enough for him to hear.
“If your looking for something bigger, I recommend this one right here” Sally said, standing over by a very large car (the make of which I actually forget right now, but then again I’ve never been that great with cars in general anyway)
“Well it certainly is bigger” I hesitantly said while looking at this thing in which I’m sure a challenger 2 tank is smaller than.
“And yellow” Jackle pointed out
“Yes, it is Yellow as well” I added. We stood looking at this car for a few moments, pondering. Just as Sally was about to break the silence, Jackle instead jumped in
“You know,” He started, thoughtfully “This kind of looks like Big Yellow Taxi”
“Yes” I exclaimed, completely seeing his point “You’re absolutely right”
“You guys are never satisfied.” Menace pointed out.
Speaking of satisfaction, I can think of a couple of people who weren’t satisfied last week, High Tide and Wasp. Having been attacked before their match and forced to basically lose without the chance of trying. This week they’ll be looking for vengeance, or the drunken pirate equivalent, against their previous opponents. Another of their AWA allies is tagging along for the ride, but I’ll be in the match as well, making this a crazy 3v3 match. Will there be shenanigans? Most likely. But I’ll be damned if I don’t go down swinging. This will be one of the first battles of a war we’re more than prepared to bring to those invaders. And we will be no push over
Want someone who seems to snatch victory in the face of defeat, that’s me all over. An unpredictable competitor who’s actions and ambitions change with each swing of his fist or his drink? Say hello to High Tide. Want someone whose pure belief in his abilities and his goals cause him to overcome the toughest obstacles? Usali Basilisk is your man there. Looking for someone who doesn’t back down, no matter how big the dog, loud the bark or mean the bite? Nacho Grande will always be there to mock you right in your face. And Grimm? Hell, I’d swear that the devil himself was scared of the Hangtown native.
And that’s not even half the guys the PCW has. And these AWA guys want to come in and call us all weak losers? We shall not stand for that kind of thing. Something else I probably shouldn’t stand for is this stupid car shopping expedition. I don’t even need a car really. My apartment isn’t that far from the arena, so in decent weather I walk to a show, while coming home I grab a taxi, because you never know how you’re going to feel after a match. A lot of the time I don’t think I would trust me to be behind the wheel of a car.
“What about this one” Sally suggested, pointing to a nice little navy blue car. She was a trooper, trying to put up with all three of us looking at different cars constantly, those two being idiots and me being negative trying to get out of here as quickly as possible. Still, with the possibility of commission, I suppose she has to put up with a lot
“What, this Little Honda?” Menace questioned looking at the car
“No!” Jackle exclaimed with the upmost authority, causing all of us to look at him stunned “Absolutely not. You’re Not Safe In A Japanese Car”
“What are you talking about?” I had to ask
“The pedal sticking thing” Menace said, realising “But wasn’t that just Toyota?” He asked
“Better safe than sorry” Jackle said
“Besides, you guys want to buy American” Sally threw in, trying to be patriotic
“Or British” I nonchalantly replied. Sally looked at me bewildered a moment before realising that all 3 of us were actually from the UK.
“Like my car” Menace added, slightly proudly.
This statement caused me a confused look, because as far as I was aware “You don’t own a car”
“Yeah I do, you’ve been in it” Menace tried to prompt me into remembering. Jackle came to my rescue though
“Actually, we always seem to Drive My Car”
“Is Menace embarrassed about his car” I said, almost giggling
“I’m not embarrassed.” Menace said defensively “I drive it all the time. In fact I was in it today. Yup, today I’ve been Driving In My Car”
“It’s not quite a Jaguar” Jackle jumped in
“What does that mean?” I questioned “Either it is a Jag or its not”
“Well its not” Jackle clarified
“Well what is it then?” I asked watching either anger or embarrassment (or possibly both) creep onto Menace’s face
“It’s…” Jackle had to pause, fighting back the snickering “A Morris Minor”
I burst out laughing… hard! I could even see Sally holding back the laughter. “That car has been very reliable to me for many years” Menace defended.
“Ooh, Look At That Cadillac” Jackle pointed out, changing the subject completely and running off to a car about 5 or 6 further down the lot
“What, that Long White Cadillac?” Menace pointed out “Err… that’s an abomination of all Cadillacs”
“And what’s wrong with it?” Sally said, almost defensively
“A Cadillac should only be in one colour” Menace explained “It should only ever be a Pink Cadillac” he then leaned into me and whispered in my ear “If you really want one of those we’ll take you out to Cadillac Ranch and grab you one”
“I’m ok, thanks” I whispered back, really dreading the idea of repeating this kind of day.
“What about that one” Sally pointed out the car opposite the Cadillac
“Oh now that’s a car” Menace exclaimed
“Absolutely” Jackle added “That there is a car I can see you in, travelling around the country.”
“Oh yes,” Menace agreed “Can you see yourself in that car, going out to See The U.S.A. In Your Chevrolet?”
“Absolutely” Jackle seemingly answered on my behalf, incorrectly mind being my answer was going to be no “You could go down Route 66, that’s not far from here right?”
“You could Roll On Down The Highway in your Fast Car” Menace jumped in.
“That’s right,” Jackle jumped back in “You could totally be a Highway Star… Rockin’ Down The Highway to…” He paused and the 2Guys looked at each other with massive mischievous grins
“Highway To Hell” The 2Guys sang out in an AC/DC style, massive grins on their faces. I looked on disapproving. “Oh come on, we said highway like 4 times in a row, cant we make that joke?” Menace pleaded
“No” Was the blunt response from both myself and Sally. The 2Guys sighed. “I’m sorry to have wasted your time” I started “I will be back on my own at some point with out these two messing about idiots” I half lied. It hadn’t been my intention to go back, but then that Chevrolet did look ok, and maybe wanted a second look.
As we walked away, Menace tried to give me some sage advice. “When you go back to get a test drive on that Chevrolet,” He started, assuming I actually had the intention to go back “Let Sally Drive. She’ll know more about the car than you will.”
It took me a moment to form a response, but I did in the end “Doesn’t that defeat the whole point of a test drive?”
“Oh yeah” Was all Menace could muster after a several moments of thinking. Idiots!
Oh well, at least they never tried to suggest for me to get a Ford Transit Van. White Van Men are just terrible people!
I was taken to this massive car sales place couple hours drive away from Greenville. Not affiliated with any kind of dealer or maker in specific, they offered every kind of make and model you could think of (ok, maybe not every model, but they sure had a lot of cars).
“Remind me again why I’m doing this?” I had to ask, already regretting falling for whatever excuse or manipulation the 2Guys used to get me to actually come out here and look at these cars.
“Because you’ve been based in Greenville now for several months.” Jackle started “It’s time you got your own set of wheels”
“Yeah, we’re sick of driving you everywhere to be honest” Menace bluntly added
“When have I ever asked you to drive me anywhere?” I asked, offended at the accusation
“We drive you all the time” Menace pointed out
“I said, when have I ever asked you to drive me?” I reiterated
“How about that time we took you out to that signing session?” Jackle pointed out
“You mean the time you offered to take me to the airport where I had a plane to go across country and instead you drove me the whole way there?” I counter argued
“Oh… err how about the time we took you home from the arena?” Menace added
“Was that the time I had that suspected concussion and the EMT’s wanted me to go to the hospital, and I agreed with them?”
“Yeah, maybe…” Jackle sheepishly responded before he perked up “You were fine through, right?”
“Only because I took a taxi to the hospital after you guys left.”
“Oh.” Menace had a dejected look, pondering another option for a moment “what about that baseball trip we took a couple of weeks ago then”
“You knocked me on the head with a shovel and threw me into the back of the car!” I exclaimed, and after a couple of moments they hit a massive realisation. “And I still haven’t forgiven you for that” I added
“Oh, you have forgiven us” Menace nonchalantly said
“Oh I have forgiven you?” I asked in a sort of sarcastic manner
“See, you even just admitted it” Jackle said, patting me on the back as the 2Guys carried on walking further into the car lot. Its at times like these I truly believe the 2Guys are evil geniuses.
Their manipulation of me may be the reason I’ve done stupid stuff, or maybe just the reason I’ve still be stuck with them and their headache inducing antics. But it wasn’t any kind of manipulation that saw me head out to face those AWA invaders on Trauma 114. I also didn’t go out there to help Grimm or Nacho. Those guys don’t need help from me that’s for sure. Grimm is… well Grimm. And Nacho? He stood up to Grimm and survived. Those are two tough S.O.B’s right there. But I, like I assume all of us who went out to that ring, had just about enough of those guys. And standing up for the PCW Faithful? Yeah, that’s something I can easily do. I will easily do.
And it looked like Walker was willing to stand up for those guys too. Sure, the AWA wasn’t impressed, and even the top dog Icemann may not have liked it. But I know I enjoyed that little clusterfuck of a match. And the PCW faithful were on their feet cheering for this strange collection of Team PCW. And whatever our pasts, whatever our reasons for standing in that ring against those invaders, we will defend our honour and integrity, the honour and integrity of PCW as a whole and the honour and integrity of all the PCW fans who enjoy our product in any form. Except for Areas of course, that traitor can just go choke on a chicken bone or something.
“Hi, my name is Sally, I’ll be your personal advisor today” This southern bell accent came floating across the lot as this late 20’s, early 30’s slim blond in a business suit came approaching us. The sales rep, obviously, going to try and get us to buy. Something I was a little against. “So are you gentlemen looking for anything in particular”
“How about a Mustang Sally” Jackle jumped in before I could respond.
“Well alrighty” Sally said enthusiastically “Right this way”
“What?” Jackle questioned, noticing the death glare I was shooting his way which wasn’t killing him “I can totally see you driving a mustang”
“Ooh, how about this one” Menace exclaimed as he passed by a car that caught his eye. “It looks like a beautiful red Corvette”
“It’s a little small” I said, commenting on it after I finally had a good look at the vehicle in question.
“Ok, fine. It’s a Little Red Corvette” Menace conceded, irritated. “Happy?”
“Not with that one” I muttered just loud enough for him to hear.
“If your looking for something bigger, I recommend this one right here” Sally said, standing over by a very large car (the make of which I actually forget right now, but then again I’ve never been that great with cars in general anyway)
“Well it certainly is bigger” I hesitantly said while looking at this thing in which I’m sure a challenger 2 tank is smaller than.
“And yellow” Jackle pointed out
“Yes, it is Yellow as well” I added. We stood looking at this car for a few moments, pondering. Just as Sally was about to break the silence, Jackle instead jumped in
“You know,” He started, thoughtfully “This kind of looks like Big Yellow Taxi”
“Yes” I exclaimed, completely seeing his point “You’re absolutely right”
“You guys are never satisfied.” Menace pointed out.
Speaking of satisfaction, I can think of a couple of people who weren’t satisfied last week, High Tide and Wasp. Having been attacked before their match and forced to basically lose without the chance of trying. This week they’ll be looking for vengeance, or the drunken pirate equivalent, against their previous opponents. Another of their AWA allies is tagging along for the ride, but I’ll be in the match as well, making this a crazy 3v3 match. Will there be shenanigans? Most likely. But I’ll be damned if I don’t go down swinging. This will be one of the first battles of a war we’re more than prepared to bring to those invaders. And we will be no push over
Want someone who seems to snatch victory in the face of defeat, that’s me all over. An unpredictable competitor who’s actions and ambitions change with each swing of his fist or his drink? Say hello to High Tide. Want someone whose pure belief in his abilities and his goals cause him to overcome the toughest obstacles? Usali Basilisk is your man there. Looking for someone who doesn’t back down, no matter how big the dog, loud the bark or mean the bite? Nacho Grande will always be there to mock you right in your face. And Grimm? Hell, I’d swear that the devil himself was scared of the Hangtown native.
And that’s not even half the guys the PCW has. And these AWA guys want to come in and call us all weak losers? We shall not stand for that kind of thing. Something else I probably shouldn’t stand for is this stupid car shopping expedition. I don’t even need a car really. My apartment isn’t that far from the arena, so in decent weather I walk to a show, while coming home I grab a taxi, because you never know how you’re going to feel after a match. A lot of the time I don’t think I would trust me to be behind the wheel of a car.
“What about this one” Sally suggested, pointing to a nice little navy blue car. She was a trooper, trying to put up with all three of us looking at different cars constantly, those two being idiots and me being negative trying to get out of here as quickly as possible. Still, with the possibility of commission, I suppose she has to put up with a lot
“What, this Little Honda?” Menace questioned looking at the car
“No!” Jackle exclaimed with the upmost authority, causing all of us to look at him stunned “Absolutely not. You’re Not Safe In A Japanese Car”
“What are you talking about?” I had to ask
“The pedal sticking thing” Menace said, realising “But wasn’t that just Toyota?” He asked
“Better safe than sorry” Jackle said
“Besides, you guys want to buy American” Sally threw in, trying to be patriotic
“Or British” I nonchalantly replied. Sally looked at me bewildered a moment before realising that all 3 of us were actually from the UK.
“Like my car” Menace added, slightly proudly.
This statement caused me a confused look, because as far as I was aware “You don’t own a car”
“Yeah I do, you’ve been in it” Menace tried to prompt me into remembering. Jackle came to my rescue though
“Actually, we always seem to Drive My Car”
“Is Menace embarrassed about his car” I said, almost giggling
“I’m not embarrassed.” Menace said defensively “I drive it all the time. In fact I was in it today. Yup, today I’ve been Driving In My Car”
“It’s not quite a Jaguar” Jackle jumped in
“What does that mean?” I questioned “Either it is a Jag or its not”
“Well its not” Jackle clarified
“Well what is it then?” I asked watching either anger or embarrassment (or possibly both) creep onto Menace’s face
“It’s…” Jackle had to pause, fighting back the snickering “A Morris Minor”
I burst out laughing… hard! I could even see Sally holding back the laughter. “That car has been very reliable to me for many years” Menace defended.
“Ooh, Look At That Cadillac” Jackle pointed out, changing the subject completely and running off to a car about 5 or 6 further down the lot
“What, that Long White Cadillac?” Menace pointed out “Err… that’s an abomination of all Cadillacs”
“And what’s wrong with it?” Sally said, almost defensively
“A Cadillac should only be in one colour” Menace explained “It should only ever be a Pink Cadillac” he then leaned into me and whispered in my ear “If you really want one of those we’ll take you out to Cadillac Ranch and grab you one”
“I’m ok, thanks” I whispered back, really dreading the idea of repeating this kind of day.
“What about that one” Sally pointed out the car opposite the Cadillac
“Oh now that’s a car” Menace exclaimed
“Absolutely” Jackle added “That there is a car I can see you in, travelling around the country.”
“Oh yes,” Menace agreed “Can you see yourself in that car, going out to See The U.S.A. In Your Chevrolet?”
“Absolutely” Jackle seemingly answered on my behalf, incorrectly mind being my answer was going to be no “You could go down Route 66, that’s not far from here right?”
“You could Roll On Down The Highway in your Fast Car” Menace jumped in.
“That’s right,” Jackle jumped back in “You could totally be a Highway Star… Rockin’ Down The Highway to…” He paused and the 2Guys looked at each other with massive mischievous grins
“Highway To Hell” The 2Guys sang out in an AC/DC style, massive grins on their faces. I looked on disapproving. “Oh come on, we said highway like 4 times in a row, cant we make that joke?” Menace pleaded
“No” Was the blunt response from both myself and Sally. The 2Guys sighed. “I’m sorry to have wasted your time” I started “I will be back on my own at some point with out these two messing about idiots” I half lied. It hadn’t been my intention to go back, but then that Chevrolet did look ok, and maybe wanted a second look.
As we walked away, Menace tried to give me some sage advice. “When you go back to get a test drive on that Chevrolet,” He started, assuming I actually had the intention to go back “Let Sally Drive. She’ll know more about the car than you will.”
It took me a moment to form a response, but I did in the end “Doesn’t that defeat the whole point of a test drive?”
“Oh yeah” Was all Menace could muster after a several moments of thinking. Idiots!
Oh well, at least they never tried to suggest for me to get a Ford Transit Van. White Van Men are just terrible people!