Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 18:27:10 GMT -5
So to make sure I don't go overboard in some people's eyes and possibly be downgraded in rp scores due to the cussing the JoDee Burns character does, I'm gonna ask for opinions on a 2011 rp involving JoDee if that's cool.
*******************************************
JoDee Burns/Britanie Laree vs Summer Collins/Dawn Lohan
A rehearsal space is seen, not too small but not that big either, dirty blue and faded carpet covering the floor of the room while the walls look like they've been painted white from what can be seen between the many varied posters of heavy metal bands. The only other things on the walls are a clock situated in the perfect position to be seen by everybody who would occupy this space just by glancing or looking up and a huge banner that covers the entire wall behind the red drum kit with the logo for The Christ Conspiracy.
Near the drums are a massive guitar stack that sees a 4x10 amplifier topped with the pre-amp to help with volume, tone and other things and on the other side, a massive bass amp topped with its own pre-amp. A second guitar stack sits near the opposite side of the room to prevent bleed through and distortion so that both guitarists and the bassist can hear themselves. The guitar stacks have the traditional black and gold of Marshall gear while the bass has a Line 6 logo adorning it, a red bass tuner near the amp and white bass resting against the solid stack.
Pedal boards near the guitar stacks show off a variety of effects pedals, from tuners to chorus, distortion to tremelo. The stack with the almost basic set of effects nearby has a black and white Fender Stratocaster rested against the soft front of the amp while a Flying V in black with orange and red hot rod flames has extra pedals, namely a Jim Dunlop Wah as made famous by Jimi Hendrix amongst others plus a Whammy pedal with added pitch shifter alongside it to denote that Flying V's owner is the lead guitarist.
Black cables line the floor, snaking along the carpet and leading to every instrument except for the drums, one even climbing up a black metal microphone stand and into the back of a mic with grey dome. The microphone is attached via the cable to the PA, a big box full of plugs and tuners and dials to give power and volume to the mic. Other than the instruments, the room also houses three women, one is a redhead with denim hot pants and quite obviously a familiar face to anybody who watches SWC regularly as the Heavyweight champion and new boss JoDee Burns.
One of the other women is the same latina who was seen talking to JoDee at the last Showdown, herself wearing denim hot pants and a sleeveless shirt tied in a knot above the abdomen and just below her breasts, the top few buttons open to show off a little cleavage. Next to her is a brunette wearing short black skirt, black tights, black high heeled boots and red corset. The latina looks at JoDee as she leans back against the wall, her arms folded in front of her chest.
Hey, JoDee? Err....what's the deal with you and Kitten again?
JoDee flashes her a look, half rolling her eyes and half annoyed at the subject being brought up for what could be the second time or more.
JoDee Burns: Why the fuck should I answer that question, again?
Well Nikki doesn't know, I thought you could....
Giving a loud sigh to interrupt, JoDee looks at the brunette - Nikki - then glances down at the floor momentarily.
Nikki: C'mon, you told Aimee, you probably told Laura and Donna, why can't I know?
With an almost petulant kick at the floor with the tip of her boot that echoes around the room, JoDee gives up the ghost and decides to spill and get it over and done with.
JoDee Burns: Ok, fine. Kitten....she's been fucking her stepsister.
A pause permeates the room before being broken by Aimee speaking up.
Aimee: And? So fuckin' what?
JoDee Burns: The fuck do you mean, "so fuckin' what"? Have you lost your goddamn mind?
Nikki: If they're only stepsisters then that don't mean shit now does it? They're not related by blood.
JoDee Burns: Are you somehow defending that fuckin' freak?
Nikki: It's not who she's with is it? This whole thing bothers you because she's with another chick.
The comment gets an immediate reaction from JoDee, her eyes meeting Nikki's in a stare that seems to last for hours before she looks at Aimee. Bringing her hand up to her face and closing her eyes, the SWC Heavyweight champion briefly shakes her head.
JoDee Burns: I don't wanna tag with her if I don't know where her hand's fuckin' been. If I'm gonna get girl juice on my hands I'd rather it be my own.
Nikki and Aimee look at one another, almost as if they have the exact same thing in mind and can read each other's thoughts. After nodding to each other and egging the other on to speak, it's finally left to Aimee to say what the two were thinking.
Aimee: You know that Donna's a lesbian right?
Burns looks up at the latina, shooting a look as if she already knew that about one of her band mates, the rhythm guitarist no less.
JoDee Burns: No fuckin' duh I know that shit. What's that got to do with it?
Aimee: So I guess this isn't about Kitten being gay then is it if one of your friends, the chick that stands next to you on stage....you know.
JoDee Burns: Chews carpet?
Nikki: Aww ain't that sweet. JoDee's worried her friendship with Kitten will end cause of Faith taking up her time.
She continues smiling as Burns stares a hole right through her.
JoDee Burns: Oh fuck you bitch.
Nikki bursts into laughter, Aimee doing the same as she steps forwards and gently pushes JoDee, causing the SWC Heavyweigh champion to laugh at the stupidity of thinking her tag team partner would ever desert her. They met at a time when nobody in the wrestling business liked either of them almost a year ago when JoDee was entering the profession. Why would they let Kitten's new bitch get between them and their dominance?
======================================================
Here we go, the moment everybody has been waiting for since the last Showdown went off the air. The chance to see JoDee Burns once again gracing television screens and media player videos online to tell the entire world exactly why she is better than them. No phoney awards, fancy little catchphrases that make no sense or fashion designers for this one.
Instead JoDee is standing in what looks like her band's rehearsal space, posters of their favourite heavy metal bands adorning the wall behind her in the camera shot and just who is that handsome man in the poster just over JoDee's left shoulder? Why, it's JoDee's idol and the reason she not only started a band but also got into wrestling, the globally famous and multi-talented Dazz Stylez in one of many promo shots with his original band Havok Rising. A black microphone stand rests against the wall with the edge of a guitar stack poking just into the camera shot, the Line 6 logo barely visible.
Never mind that though, the focus of this little piece is the redheaded woman who even on a casual day still looks more glamourous than those anorexic bitches who walk the runway for a living. She's wearing nothing more than a pair of denim hot pants, sleeveless black Motorhead t-shirt, black Doc Marten boots and black leather cuffs around her wrists but she's still hotter than you'll ever be. The SWC Heavyweight championship is fastened around her waist like a massive piece of jewelry made just for her despite her hatred of chains, rings and other bullshit.
JoDee Burns: Heard the news? If you didn't see the last Showdown for whatever fuckin' excuse you might have, Jennifer Alan is no longer the SWC President. Guess who got that job? Rich & fuckin' Famous, bitches! And since I'm the Heavyweight champ and Kitten's only the Women's champ then by default that makes me more of a boss than she is. I have the power to hire, to fire, to make whatever matches I damn well please.
I could even change the name of this company if I wanted to something much more appropriate. Whenever I look at the rest of this fuckin' roster and see the bland and useless names listed, I react exactly the same way as most of you viewers probably do at home.
"So.....Who Cares?"
Funny how it works though, Meagan Collins in her utmost wisdom decided that since she had a vacancy in the SWC President's chair, why not pick somebody who could guarantee to do the right thing for this company, who knew how to do things, knew all about talent, wrestling and entertaining the masses and drew a crowd like no other in SWC? That's why I am your new boss bitches. Go suck on that. Talking of people who suck....
Britanie, do you really think I want to team with you at Showdown because of your sparkling wit, intelligent conversation and immense talent in the ring? If you do then think again because you have none of those things and bitch, I could just as easily have chosen someone else. The fact is, we're both champions even if that title around your waist is of far less value than the one around mine. That just sums you up though doesn't it Britanie, you're a lesser, cheaper version of myself, only difference is lifestyle, intelligence, coherence and talent.
Lets take this line you threw out at a house show. You and your girlfriend said "we're better than you because we're gay" to the fans. First off, why would anybody in their right mind hate you for being a lesbian? Do you have that little to bring to SWC that you have to be hated for who you share a bed with at night? What is this about being better because you're gay anyway, "not-very-straight edge"?
This is just the reason I think you're a fuckin' moron Britanie. You don't drink, you don't smoke, you don't take drugs but you tear up carpet like nobody's business, is that it? Listen, I don't care if you and your girlfriend use each other's vaginas as Chinese finger traps, just keep those fuckin' filthy hands away from me.
That means don't touch me, don't even put a fingertip near my skin or my clothes. Don't try to tag me in, if I need to I'll either tag your shoulder to come into the match or tag your shoulder to get out of it and let you get your ass kicked for a short while. If you put your hands on me at any time for any reason, as your boss I will fire you on the spot, you got me? Do you understand because I don't talk bullshit so we might have a language barrier.
Then again, you're French aren't you? How do I say "piece of shit" in French or do I just put "le" at the start of the sentence? Do you even realise that you're the big joke of SWC, just like your friends in GDW Brandy and Alyssa are? You're like that one monkey at the zoo who takes a piss into its own mouth while everyone stands outside the enclosure pointing and laughing at the retarded animal, poking sticks at it to make it do its party trick again.
Hey, maybe you could do like monkeys do and smear your own feces against a wall to spell out what you want to say in your promos? It'd make a hell of a lot more sense than when you try to open your mouth. You'd probably write something like (uses hands to push each individual invisible word in the air) "I......AM......GAY! I.....BETTER.....YOU....LOSE!".....really Britanie? You have the "balls" to admit you bat for the other side? Don't let Brandy or Alyssa hear you say that or they'll bring out their bestest and most lame insult ever and call you a fuckin' tranny.
Well whatever Brit, this saturday it'll be me and you against another pointless champion and a bitch who thinks if she got lucky against me once she'll be able to do it again. Doubtful. First, lets discuss Dawn Lohan, the runt of the Lohan litter. Is it great there, carrying around the Bloodlust title, knowing you're beneath me? Claiming you don't want the belt, I heard you talking backstage a few times saying you hate violence, you're nothing like your sister. Well isn't that obvious Dawn? Brittany is a beast who could tear skinny bitches like you apart and you're just weak and pathetic.
That's why it's gonna bring a smile to my face when I make SWC's version of a hardcore champion tap like a worthless little bitch, break you into a dozen pieces and leave the remains for your sister to find and scoop up. I heard she's into necrophilia so hey, maybe that dyke of a sister would put you next to the decaying body of Angelica Jones when I'm done destroying you at Showdown?
Unless you use your time of the month as an excuse for not wanting to set foot in the ring against me, seeing as you're the Bloodlust champion and all. Isn't this a funny thing though Dawn? Here I am, the boss of SWC, the reigning SWC Heavyweight champion, the chick every woman wants to be like with teen girls flooding the internet begging to know how to be just like yours truly when they grow up. I got a target on my back bigger than Britanie Laree's pussy after a fisting session with her girlfriend with everyone male and female wanting to try and take the title away from me. Wanting to try to upstage me. Wanting to try and prove themselves as THE best in SWC even if they fail at each and every turn.
What do you have Dawn? A lesser championship that most people in SWC don't want? How pleasant that must be for you. Even that lecherous fuckin' pervert Shane Matthews got tired of following you around, coming onto you and trying to find an excuse to grope you in the ring because he saw how low down the food chain your belt is. Bit of a step down from the Carolina title for him isn't it? Meanwhile your sister is what, one quarter of the GDW Tag Team champions while you struggle to make an impact in MY territory?
Face it Dawn, you're on my turf, SWC is my playground and I'm just letting you have your five minutes of fun on the swings before I kick you out permanently. I'm the reason people buy tickets to see Showdown. People want to see the Heavyweight champion and new boss of this company take wrestling to a much higher level than they were used to before Rich & Famous first stepped into this place and made our mark. Did you really think lesser talents holding lesser championships would really be the main draw? Didn't think so. Fuck you and your shitty Bloodlust belt, you're only in this match so you can get your first and only taste at what it's like being in the main event.
As for your partner.....Well what can I really say about Summer Collins? Just look at her family. Blood is thicker than water? Fuck, I didn't know family members would take the part about being thick so seriously! Michael is such a fuckin' idiot, he almost, almost comes close to being as fuckin' retarded as Britanie and her bitch. A guy bitching about men's rights goes on to win the Women's title and then wears it with fuckin' pride? I'd call him a tool but then that'd be a fuckin' insult to tools everywhere. At least a tool is useful for drilling something into a wall, screwing something, hammering.....hey fuck you! Fuckin' mind in the fuckin' gutter, fuck off with that shit.
To make matters worse, what does Michael go on to do? Lose the fuckin' belt to Kitten and has to wear a dress. Hey Summer, does your brother spend more time looking at himself in the mirror at Neiman Marcus than you do? Bet that really pisses you off, the funny looks you get when you order shoes from dELiAS.com and ask for men's sizes. Well worry no more Summer because now that fucktard will be long gone from SWC pretty fuckin' soon and the only shoes you'll be ordering are orthopedic ones for yourself when I break your feet in my own Misery moment.
The only smart member of the Collins family is Meagan and she married into it so goddamn, how the hell she puts up with family stupidity I'll never know. Do you have any French cousins by any chance? Big example of your idiocy Summer. Not only do you lose the Carolina championship to fucknuts standing in my corner this saturday, you think that somehow suffering a disgrace like that entitles you to my title? Are you fuckin' kidding me?
So you win the Civil War and think everything's gonna be all rainbows and sunshine until Wrestlecade and that somehow you'll beat me for my belt? Yeah, right, and monkeys will fly out of my butt. You have nothing on me Summer, the only reason you pinned me last Showdown was because I had two embarrassments in my corner more concerned with their dye jobs and makeup than actually winning shit. Just proves that Hidden Desires are as pointless and pathetic no matter what version or company.
Do you really assume that me being distracted by my worthless temporary tag team partners in that match will see the same result every time we square off? Assume nothing other than me painting the ring with your face and curb stomping you so hard they'll start panicking in Japan thinking another earthquake's shaking their foundations. Don't worry though Summer, I'll be shaking your foundations to the very core until you realise that nobody but me will ever stand on top of the mountain in SWC. Nobody else is good enough, not you, not Dawn, not French fry or anybody, including your sister Michelle Collins or whatever he decides to call himself next.
Funny that, Michael walks around in a dress, heels and a fuckin' wig and not a peep from Britanie, Brandy or Alyssa.
Shall I be as cliche as half the SWC roster and say "get prepared for a Showdown"? Nah, fuck that, I ain't that fuckin' lame. I'm your SWC Heavyweight champion. I'm your boss. Most of all, I'm everything that you're not. Deal with it bitches. Now fuck off.
Patting the championship wrapped firmly around her equally firm stomach, JoDee smirks, those big gorgeous eyes staring at the camera, letting everyone watching know that despite your best efforts, none of you will even come close to the sheer talent this woman possesses. She's the "Famous" half of the Rich & Famous team and if you can't see why from just looking at her, you'll never understand.
*******************************************
JoDee Burns/Britanie Laree vs Summer Collins/Dawn Lohan
A rehearsal space is seen, not too small but not that big either, dirty blue and faded carpet covering the floor of the room while the walls look like they've been painted white from what can be seen between the many varied posters of heavy metal bands. The only other things on the walls are a clock situated in the perfect position to be seen by everybody who would occupy this space just by glancing or looking up and a huge banner that covers the entire wall behind the red drum kit with the logo for The Christ Conspiracy.
Near the drums are a massive guitar stack that sees a 4x10 amplifier topped with the pre-amp to help with volume, tone and other things and on the other side, a massive bass amp topped with its own pre-amp. A second guitar stack sits near the opposite side of the room to prevent bleed through and distortion so that both guitarists and the bassist can hear themselves. The guitar stacks have the traditional black and gold of Marshall gear while the bass has a Line 6 logo adorning it, a red bass tuner near the amp and white bass resting against the solid stack.
Pedal boards near the guitar stacks show off a variety of effects pedals, from tuners to chorus, distortion to tremelo. The stack with the almost basic set of effects nearby has a black and white Fender Stratocaster rested against the soft front of the amp while a Flying V in black with orange and red hot rod flames has extra pedals, namely a Jim Dunlop Wah as made famous by Jimi Hendrix amongst others plus a Whammy pedal with added pitch shifter alongside it to denote that Flying V's owner is the lead guitarist.
Black cables line the floor, snaking along the carpet and leading to every instrument except for the drums, one even climbing up a black metal microphone stand and into the back of a mic with grey dome. The microphone is attached via the cable to the PA, a big box full of plugs and tuners and dials to give power and volume to the mic. Other than the instruments, the room also houses three women, one is a redhead with denim hot pants and quite obviously a familiar face to anybody who watches SWC regularly as the Heavyweight champion and new boss JoDee Burns.
One of the other women is the same latina who was seen talking to JoDee at the last Showdown, herself wearing denim hot pants and a sleeveless shirt tied in a knot above the abdomen and just below her breasts, the top few buttons open to show off a little cleavage. Next to her is a brunette wearing short black skirt, black tights, black high heeled boots and red corset. The latina looks at JoDee as she leans back against the wall, her arms folded in front of her chest.
Hey, JoDee? Err....what's the deal with you and Kitten again?
JoDee flashes her a look, half rolling her eyes and half annoyed at the subject being brought up for what could be the second time or more.
JoDee Burns: Why the fuck should I answer that question, again?
Well Nikki doesn't know, I thought you could....
Giving a loud sigh to interrupt, JoDee looks at the brunette - Nikki - then glances down at the floor momentarily.
Nikki: C'mon, you told Aimee, you probably told Laura and Donna, why can't I know?
With an almost petulant kick at the floor with the tip of her boot that echoes around the room, JoDee gives up the ghost and decides to spill and get it over and done with.
JoDee Burns: Ok, fine. Kitten....she's been fucking her stepsister.
A pause permeates the room before being broken by Aimee speaking up.
Aimee: And? So fuckin' what?
JoDee Burns: The fuck do you mean, "so fuckin' what"? Have you lost your goddamn mind?
Nikki: If they're only stepsisters then that don't mean shit now does it? They're not related by blood.
JoDee Burns: Are you somehow defending that fuckin' freak?
Nikki: It's not who she's with is it? This whole thing bothers you because she's with another chick.
The comment gets an immediate reaction from JoDee, her eyes meeting Nikki's in a stare that seems to last for hours before she looks at Aimee. Bringing her hand up to her face and closing her eyes, the SWC Heavyweight champion briefly shakes her head.
JoDee Burns: I don't wanna tag with her if I don't know where her hand's fuckin' been. If I'm gonna get girl juice on my hands I'd rather it be my own.
Nikki and Aimee look at one another, almost as if they have the exact same thing in mind and can read each other's thoughts. After nodding to each other and egging the other on to speak, it's finally left to Aimee to say what the two were thinking.
Aimee: You know that Donna's a lesbian right?
Burns looks up at the latina, shooting a look as if she already knew that about one of her band mates, the rhythm guitarist no less.
JoDee Burns: No fuckin' duh I know that shit. What's that got to do with it?
Aimee: So I guess this isn't about Kitten being gay then is it if one of your friends, the chick that stands next to you on stage....you know.
JoDee Burns: Chews carpet?
Nikki: Aww ain't that sweet. JoDee's worried her friendship with Kitten will end cause of Faith taking up her time.
She continues smiling as Burns stares a hole right through her.
JoDee Burns: Oh fuck you bitch.
Nikki bursts into laughter, Aimee doing the same as she steps forwards and gently pushes JoDee, causing the SWC Heavyweigh champion to laugh at the stupidity of thinking her tag team partner would ever desert her. They met at a time when nobody in the wrestling business liked either of them almost a year ago when JoDee was entering the profession. Why would they let Kitten's new bitch get between them and their dominance?
======================================================
Here we go, the moment everybody has been waiting for since the last Showdown went off the air. The chance to see JoDee Burns once again gracing television screens and media player videos online to tell the entire world exactly why she is better than them. No phoney awards, fancy little catchphrases that make no sense or fashion designers for this one.
Instead JoDee is standing in what looks like her band's rehearsal space, posters of their favourite heavy metal bands adorning the wall behind her in the camera shot and just who is that handsome man in the poster just over JoDee's left shoulder? Why, it's JoDee's idol and the reason she not only started a band but also got into wrestling, the globally famous and multi-talented Dazz Stylez in one of many promo shots with his original band Havok Rising. A black microphone stand rests against the wall with the edge of a guitar stack poking just into the camera shot, the Line 6 logo barely visible.
Never mind that though, the focus of this little piece is the redheaded woman who even on a casual day still looks more glamourous than those anorexic bitches who walk the runway for a living. She's wearing nothing more than a pair of denim hot pants, sleeveless black Motorhead t-shirt, black Doc Marten boots and black leather cuffs around her wrists but she's still hotter than you'll ever be. The SWC Heavyweight championship is fastened around her waist like a massive piece of jewelry made just for her despite her hatred of chains, rings and other bullshit.
JoDee Burns: Heard the news? If you didn't see the last Showdown for whatever fuckin' excuse you might have, Jennifer Alan is no longer the SWC President. Guess who got that job? Rich & fuckin' Famous, bitches! And since I'm the Heavyweight champ and Kitten's only the Women's champ then by default that makes me more of a boss than she is. I have the power to hire, to fire, to make whatever matches I damn well please.
I could even change the name of this company if I wanted to something much more appropriate. Whenever I look at the rest of this fuckin' roster and see the bland and useless names listed, I react exactly the same way as most of you viewers probably do at home.
"So.....Who Cares?"
Funny how it works though, Meagan Collins in her utmost wisdom decided that since she had a vacancy in the SWC President's chair, why not pick somebody who could guarantee to do the right thing for this company, who knew how to do things, knew all about talent, wrestling and entertaining the masses and drew a crowd like no other in SWC? That's why I am your new boss bitches. Go suck on that. Talking of people who suck....
Britanie, do you really think I want to team with you at Showdown because of your sparkling wit, intelligent conversation and immense talent in the ring? If you do then think again because you have none of those things and bitch, I could just as easily have chosen someone else. The fact is, we're both champions even if that title around your waist is of far less value than the one around mine. That just sums you up though doesn't it Britanie, you're a lesser, cheaper version of myself, only difference is lifestyle, intelligence, coherence and talent.
Lets take this line you threw out at a house show. You and your girlfriend said "we're better than you because we're gay" to the fans. First off, why would anybody in their right mind hate you for being a lesbian? Do you have that little to bring to SWC that you have to be hated for who you share a bed with at night? What is this about being better because you're gay anyway, "not-very-straight edge"?
This is just the reason I think you're a fuckin' moron Britanie. You don't drink, you don't smoke, you don't take drugs but you tear up carpet like nobody's business, is that it? Listen, I don't care if you and your girlfriend use each other's vaginas as Chinese finger traps, just keep those fuckin' filthy hands away from me.
That means don't touch me, don't even put a fingertip near my skin or my clothes. Don't try to tag me in, if I need to I'll either tag your shoulder to come into the match or tag your shoulder to get out of it and let you get your ass kicked for a short while. If you put your hands on me at any time for any reason, as your boss I will fire you on the spot, you got me? Do you understand because I don't talk bullshit so we might have a language barrier.
Then again, you're French aren't you? How do I say "piece of shit" in French or do I just put "le" at the start of the sentence? Do you even realise that you're the big joke of SWC, just like your friends in GDW Brandy and Alyssa are? You're like that one monkey at the zoo who takes a piss into its own mouth while everyone stands outside the enclosure pointing and laughing at the retarded animal, poking sticks at it to make it do its party trick again.
Hey, maybe you could do like monkeys do and smear your own feces against a wall to spell out what you want to say in your promos? It'd make a hell of a lot more sense than when you try to open your mouth. You'd probably write something like (uses hands to push each individual invisible word in the air) "I......AM......GAY! I.....BETTER.....YOU....LOSE!".....really Britanie? You have the "balls" to admit you bat for the other side? Don't let Brandy or Alyssa hear you say that or they'll bring out their bestest and most lame insult ever and call you a fuckin' tranny.
Well whatever Brit, this saturday it'll be me and you against another pointless champion and a bitch who thinks if she got lucky against me once she'll be able to do it again. Doubtful. First, lets discuss Dawn Lohan, the runt of the Lohan litter. Is it great there, carrying around the Bloodlust title, knowing you're beneath me? Claiming you don't want the belt, I heard you talking backstage a few times saying you hate violence, you're nothing like your sister. Well isn't that obvious Dawn? Brittany is a beast who could tear skinny bitches like you apart and you're just weak and pathetic.
That's why it's gonna bring a smile to my face when I make SWC's version of a hardcore champion tap like a worthless little bitch, break you into a dozen pieces and leave the remains for your sister to find and scoop up. I heard she's into necrophilia so hey, maybe that dyke of a sister would put you next to the decaying body of Angelica Jones when I'm done destroying you at Showdown?
Unless you use your time of the month as an excuse for not wanting to set foot in the ring against me, seeing as you're the Bloodlust champion and all. Isn't this a funny thing though Dawn? Here I am, the boss of SWC, the reigning SWC Heavyweight champion, the chick every woman wants to be like with teen girls flooding the internet begging to know how to be just like yours truly when they grow up. I got a target on my back bigger than Britanie Laree's pussy after a fisting session with her girlfriend with everyone male and female wanting to try and take the title away from me. Wanting to try to upstage me. Wanting to try and prove themselves as THE best in SWC even if they fail at each and every turn.
What do you have Dawn? A lesser championship that most people in SWC don't want? How pleasant that must be for you. Even that lecherous fuckin' pervert Shane Matthews got tired of following you around, coming onto you and trying to find an excuse to grope you in the ring because he saw how low down the food chain your belt is. Bit of a step down from the Carolina title for him isn't it? Meanwhile your sister is what, one quarter of the GDW Tag Team champions while you struggle to make an impact in MY territory?
Face it Dawn, you're on my turf, SWC is my playground and I'm just letting you have your five minutes of fun on the swings before I kick you out permanently. I'm the reason people buy tickets to see Showdown. People want to see the Heavyweight champion and new boss of this company take wrestling to a much higher level than they were used to before Rich & Famous first stepped into this place and made our mark. Did you really think lesser talents holding lesser championships would really be the main draw? Didn't think so. Fuck you and your shitty Bloodlust belt, you're only in this match so you can get your first and only taste at what it's like being in the main event.
As for your partner.....Well what can I really say about Summer Collins? Just look at her family. Blood is thicker than water? Fuck, I didn't know family members would take the part about being thick so seriously! Michael is such a fuckin' idiot, he almost, almost comes close to being as fuckin' retarded as Britanie and her bitch. A guy bitching about men's rights goes on to win the Women's title and then wears it with fuckin' pride? I'd call him a tool but then that'd be a fuckin' insult to tools everywhere. At least a tool is useful for drilling something into a wall, screwing something, hammering.....hey fuck you! Fuckin' mind in the fuckin' gutter, fuck off with that shit.
To make matters worse, what does Michael go on to do? Lose the fuckin' belt to Kitten and has to wear a dress. Hey Summer, does your brother spend more time looking at himself in the mirror at Neiman Marcus than you do? Bet that really pisses you off, the funny looks you get when you order shoes from dELiAS.com and ask for men's sizes. Well worry no more Summer because now that fucktard will be long gone from SWC pretty fuckin' soon and the only shoes you'll be ordering are orthopedic ones for yourself when I break your feet in my own Misery moment.
The only smart member of the Collins family is Meagan and she married into it so goddamn, how the hell she puts up with family stupidity I'll never know. Do you have any French cousins by any chance? Big example of your idiocy Summer. Not only do you lose the Carolina championship to fucknuts standing in my corner this saturday, you think that somehow suffering a disgrace like that entitles you to my title? Are you fuckin' kidding me?
So you win the Civil War and think everything's gonna be all rainbows and sunshine until Wrestlecade and that somehow you'll beat me for my belt? Yeah, right, and monkeys will fly out of my butt. You have nothing on me Summer, the only reason you pinned me last Showdown was because I had two embarrassments in my corner more concerned with their dye jobs and makeup than actually winning shit. Just proves that Hidden Desires are as pointless and pathetic no matter what version or company.
Do you really assume that me being distracted by my worthless temporary tag team partners in that match will see the same result every time we square off? Assume nothing other than me painting the ring with your face and curb stomping you so hard they'll start panicking in Japan thinking another earthquake's shaking their foundations. Don't worry though Summer, I'll be shaking your foundations to the very core until you realise that nobody but me will ever stand on top of the mountain in SWC. Nobody else is good enough, not you, not Dawn, not French fry or anybody, including your sister Michelle Collins or whatever he decides to call himself next.
Funny that, Michael walks around in a dress, heels and a fuckin' wig and not a peep from Britanie, Brandy or Alyssa.
Shall I be as cliche as half the SWC roster and say "get prepared for a Showdown"? Nah, fuck that, I ain't that fuckin' lame. I'm your SWC Heavyweight champion. I'm your boss. Most of all, I'm everything that you're not. Deal with it bitches. Now fuck off.
Patting the championship wrapped firmly around her equally firm stomach, JoDee smirks, those big gorgeous eyes staring at the camera, letting everyone watching know that despite your best efforts, none of you will even come close to the sheer talent this woman possesses. She's the "Famous" half of the Rich & Famous team and if you can't see why from just looking at her, you'll never understand.