The Gag Award Winners!

[A Ghost in the Wind]

PCW OOC Gag Awards

The following awards were meant for fun, and are not a total representation of what Management or other handlers actually think about you. Then again, it may be a total representation of what Management or other handlers actually think about you. These awards aren't meant to be taken to heart, so please do not cry if you win one and don’t cry if you lose either.

...There's no crying in eWrestling....

---

Most Confused OOCer: Another Justin & Mel
The Boss’s Commentary: And we start this off with a tie! Because PCW loves ties! I can see Whitey Ford rolling in his grave over this one. Wait, what? Whitey isn't dead yet? Give it some time. I'm sure he'll Kurt Cobain himself sooner than later. Anyway, AJ wins the award because he’s as weird as fetuses fighting gingerbread men (not to be confused with ginger-beard men; we'll get to that one later on) and Mel wins this one because he and AJ are fused at the rectum. I mean, I don't know. Maybe I should have won this award. Then again, I don't win awards. *Stommface*
Other Nominees: Jalen; Johnny; Justin (All J’s except Mel, because he’s confused.)

Most Likely to Have Cyber-Sex: Tom
The Boss’s Commentary: What Nate is to beards (but we'll get to that later), Tom is to sexual non-contact via web-based technologies. I’m sure you can find many of Tom’s exploits saved somewhere where they save things like that, and you can be sure that Rick may or may not be there. Rick’s not always there though, as Tom knows not to add him when he’s busy.
Other Nominees: Shannon & Kris combined into one; Dustin; Mel (who wanted to vote for himself the frrrreeak.)



Most Likely to Become a Stalker: Mel
The Boss’s Commentary: Congratulations Mel, you won the same award that Kris’s love interest for many powerful moons had won at the last edition of The Iceys. Thanks! Now Kris is going to smite me a smitey death for telling you that her and a certain man of power use to get…it…on. Alright, I'm done. She’s going to kill me now. See what you did Mel! You made this award about Kris! Now you get no love, you creepy bastard!
Other Nominees: Kris; Big Jennifer Garner; Luis; Tom; Jeremy; Dustin

Best Singing Voice: Luis
The Boss’s Commentary: Didn't I already tell you guys that I sing like an angel? Then it should be no surprise that my old roommate, the devilish Shannon, also received some love for this award. But he can’t win. Because he didn’t. I did. Because I sing sooooo nicely. Like Faith Evans. Mixed with a little bit of Hank Hill. Would that make me Faith Hill? But I don’t even like Faith Hill. Well, she’s alright if she’s singing about the NFL and football, I guess. But I’m not rocking a vagina or hanging out with Tim McGraw. That’s where I draw the line.
Other Nominees: Shannon (but you already knew that); Jalen; Dustin; Another Justin (sike- AJ wasn't nominated for this award…suckers!)

Best Entrance Music: “Gold on the Ceiling” by The Black Keys {Mr. Showtime}
The Boss’s Commentary: I think this won because of Showtime’s awesome entrance at Mass Destruction III. Whoever wrote that bit up is a genius. Spoiler alert: It was me. Anyway, this is a nifty little tune. It talks about gold and ceilings and what more can you possibly want?




(I guess you could want more tacos. Where’s Nacho Grande at when you need him?)
Other Nominees: Murdoc; Rick Majors; Gabriel Cross; Q (who actually received votes for both his old and new entrance music…overachiever.)

Favorite Roleplay: "Uprooted and re-sown” by Grimm {Nate}
The Boss’s Commentary: I guess people either don’t read each other’s rps, or don’t feel like looking up the rps they did like, because the voting for this category was light. I mean, we still had multiple votes and everything, but this was one of the least voted on categories in any of The Icey Awards this edition and perhaps all-time. That being said, Nate won. How shocking.
Other Nominees: Q; Mike; Fake Rick

Favorite Event Graphic: Living a Legacy V
The Boss’s Commentary: When it comes to graphics, Justin wins most of the time. And his banner for Living a Legacy V was good enough to win it. Here’s that banner.



Now here’s some Easter eggs:



Other Nominees: Mass Destruction III; Living a Legacy III; Game Over (: 1? Maybe. You guys need to label these things better!)

Most Likely to Vote for Themselves in Every Category if Allowed: Dustom
The Boss’s Commentary: Alright, allow me to explain…

Handler Most Likely To Sandbag: Another Justin
The Boss’s Commentary: Of course AJ won this award…he’s a pirate! Pirates are always pulling their big boats up onto shore, collecting sand to put into bags (or satchels or fanny packs- no one’s judging).

On a serious note, while AJ is a notorious sand pirate, he does handle two-characters and usually always makes time to rp for both of them. He just usually does it within the last ten minutes of the deadline to really cause me extreme grief.
Other Nominees: Tom; Tom; Tom; Dustin; Rick; Drew

Most Likely to Vote for Themselves in Every Category if Allowed: Dustom
The Boss’s Commentary: …Alright, I’ll explain now. The name is not a typo. It’s what you get when you cross Dustin with Tom, because, as we said earlier in the post, we all know PCW loves draws. And this award was a draw between these two men.

And I use the word, “men,” generously.

Coincidentally enough, the person who voted for himself the most was…Q. Don’t believe me? Too bad. It’s probably not true anyway.
Other Nominees: Mel; Justin; Drew (but he doesn’t count because he voted for himself in this award)

Best Beard Award: Nate
The Boss’s Commentary: Nate’s being disqualified from winning this award again. There are far too many beards that deserve consideration and Nate being a beard model and all doesn’t give anyone a chance to win this.


(Nate's modeling photo would be here instead but the link doesn't work anymore)

But look at these fine-looking beards that never had a chance...


Drew


Mike (I only included Mike because he whined about being excluded)


Luis


Dustin (I kept this one because I like to laugh at Dustin wearing wigs)


Al Borland in the Minnesotan Summertime


Mel (oh look…competition!)


Shannon (he was runner-up you know)

Next time out, this award is being renamed the, “Gingerbeard Award.” Just because I can name things- I got it like that.
Other Nominees: Shannon (and Kris wasn’t even the one who voted for him!); Someone in NCM’s Hobo Army

Biggest Ass-Kisser: Mel
The Boss’s Commentary: Mel, are you the biggest ass kisser? Maybe. Should you win this award? Well, you received the most votes. Do you really love PCW and want to make sweet love to it? I hope you love it, but also hope you do not want to make sweet love to it. Is it because you kiss big asses? Probably. Congratulations on winning this award. Rick and Tom, I'd be careful around this guy if I was you. But I'm not. And thank God for that.
Other Nominees: Alex (R.I.P.); Justin; Jesse (this guy’s still getting votes?); Tom; Rick

Heavy Metal Award of Excellence: Kris
The Boss’s Commentary: I forgot to properly name this award on the ballot, but Kris will be happy to know she wins the award of the man that inspired her metal excellence. …I was going to not give Kris any props and go on a long tangent about Roy, but…aw fuck, Mike is here to take care of it. Mike?!...

"Let me tell you a tale of a man that was the epitome of Metal- Roy. You may all know him as Heavy Metal. He was a man that rocked so hard that the Gods of Metal bowed before his presence.

After his vanishing (and most assumed death), PCW was swept into a period of mourning. There was one, maybe two, that never believed that this man died, and believed he was either just a jerk or that he began to hate PCW due to the lack of overall Metal.

After a period of time, it was proven that this man still lives, proving that nothing can kill the Metal of one who Rocks so hard. This leaves only one question…why did he leave? I have that answer…he left so that we, the PCW Faithful, can look into ourselves to see how rocking we could be. PCW will always be apart of the Metalands. We salute you, Roy…this award’s for you! GO GIANTS!"

See?...Heavy Metal still wins this even when he loses, Kris. He always wins.
Other Nominees: Roy (duh); Shannon; Other Justin; Mel; Anyone but Heavy Metal; Ace Anderson; Grimm; And Machine didn’t get a vote so screw that

Handler Most Likely to Disappear: Q
The Boss’s Commentary: Q is the most likely to disappear because he’s a magician. Seriously, it’s what he does for money. That, and fight off O. Because fuck O. In the O-ring. Where was I again? See, I'm ranting. Stream of consciousness, stream of consciousness, stream of…oh, hi O. Where’s Q? Gone disappearing somewhere? Tell him to come back so he can receive yet another imaginary award. What? He doesn’t want it? He wants me to give it to the poor? No, O. I will not do that. Q won fair and square. He’s gonna take this award and he’s gonna hopefully not be all magical again so that the winner of this award is a lie. Q's a liar.

…Stupid magicians.
Other Nominees: Jalen (because he quit on us once); Jay (who you all know as Dillon Durst; he’s out on medical leave right now, just to give you all an FYI); O.G. Dan (aka Tyrone Smith- he’s back from vacation and missing again); Other Justin; Justin; Dirty Firefly

Most Likely to Become a Serial Killer: Nate
The Boss’s Commentary: Nate's scary. This we all know. His firey red hair. His beard looking like molten lava. We know that when you walk into dark alleys, you stay away from boogeymen...and that's exactly what the innocent looking Nate really is...a boogeyman. A serial killing boogeyman. Not a serial killer of boogeymen, though that'd be cool on some Dexter-shit, but an honest-to-goodness serial killer. I don't know why Nate won "Most Likely..." because he already is one. Don't believe me? Well, when you're dead, make sure you stop by so I can say I told you so.
Other Nominees: Frank (he really should have won this); Dustin; Rick; Kris; Mel; Tom

Most Provocative Handler: Dustin
The Boss’s Commentary: What’s in a phrase? Well, if you ask Josh, the former Sadistic, he’d tell you that certain phrases are provocative. And who causes the most provocatation these days? Obviously, Dustin, as his name is already written to show that he won this award. Btw, I don’t give a flip if provocatation isn’t a word. You do NOT red-underline me, Microsoft Word. Screw you! *Adds to dictionary*. Much better.
Other Nominees: Tom; Rick; Kris; Josh

Most Overrated: Justin
The Boss’s Commentary: Oh lookey here. Mr. Third Place in OOC Hall of Fame voting is also first place in Most Overrated voting. Now, I don’t know why he received the spot…Justin’s a capable RPer, but, maybe someone just doesn’t like his face. Or skill. Or ego. Probably ego. Maybe Eggo. Mmm…Eggo. Oh, hi O. Where’s Q? Way up there? Oh well, this award isn’t for him. Be gone!
Other Nominees: Dustin; Nate; Mike; Other Justin; Chris (aka MONROE, Marilyn)
(Also, is it just me, or do you guys also sense some hateration?)

Biggest Disappointment: Dazz
The Boss’s Commentary: I don’t really have anything to say about this. Dazz was here at one point, then quit, then returned, then quit. It sucks though, I didn’t have a problem with the guy…he’s not like that Black Listed schmuck. Though, I am surprised he didn’t win Most Overrated, but then again, that award was reserved for people who don’t scream how awesome they are. Actually, that’s a lie…Stormm did win and all. Anyway, it is a real disappointment that Dazz couldn’t find his proper footing here. The kid had some talent.
Other Nominees: Chris; Jay (though, I think he’s still kind of here); Black Listed (seriously, Black Listed was nominated); Jeremy (not to be confused with his brother Leroy…only one of you will get the reference and it’s not you); Scythe (real name: Forgotten); Bugbee (aka Dan bka Nathan Saniti…but he doesn’t count because he voted for himself); Roy

Best Avatar or Banner: Justin “Stormm” Michaels
The Boss’s Commentary: Again, no one likes to specify which banners and avatars they’re voting for, so I’m not sure graphic won, but here are his graphics:





Don't blame me for his victory. You guys voted him the Graphics Champion. Oh, and this will wrap up this edition of The Gag Awards (except for the little text I’m writing under this message here).
Other Nominees: Chris (how is this guy getting so much love…he stopped caring about us! *tear*); Tom; Fake Rick; Real Rick; Q (pretty colors); Marshall’s Law banner (I’ll accept the award on…oh, we didn’t win.); Drew; Shannon