Post by Murdoc on Aug 8, 2013 16:39:52 GMT -5
PCW Trauma 138: The Iceys!
Tuesday, August 6th 2013
Live on E! from the Peace Center for the Performing Arts in Greenville, South Carolina
Attendees and fans are still filing into the Peace Center for the Performing Arts .... the exclusive HOME of the Pure Class Wrestling Icey Awards show! Several answers are still left to be had for Game Over 3, but for the moment ... the fans are content with honoring and applauding the accomplishments of their favorite in-ring superstars. The camera pans over the audience as they take their seats. Many notable persons are spotted by the roving Pure Class Camera, including Shia Lebouf, Sean Connery of James Bond fame and world-record Olympian Michael Phelps.
A quick video switch to the outside and in pulls a huuuuuuuge black stretch limousine. The driver stepping into view to get the door, out steps Skylar Marshall ... flanked by several security guards and advisors. An entourage, if you will. As he walks the blue carpet, Miguel Malone is there to get some quick words with The Boss.
‘Mr. Marshall ... Mr. Marshall!’
Marshall looks up briefly, not taking one ounce of focus from the cell phone in his hand. He’s on the phone, dammit, and it seems to be a VERY important call. He’s saying nothing to interviewers, not stopping to greet the stars that have aligned for this evening ... NOTHING. It’s difficult to read the expression on his face, the saavy businessman that he is. As he enters the Peace Center ... Miguel is left to salvage what is left of his professional dignity as we head back inside.
The opening synth riffs of Adam Lambert’s ‘For Your Entertainment’ play over the P.A. system inside the building. We are treated to shots of celebrities mingle before the opening of the show. Patrick Stewart, William Shatner and Will. I. Am are conversing (about WHAT, there’s no telling) while Andy Dick passes behind them to show off to the crowd with a Mahatma Gandhi impersonator.
Kanye West arm-in-arm with brand new mother Kim Kardashian. the two are mobbed upon arrival. That is, until Justin Michaels walks in not too far behind them. Everyone’s here for Pure Class ... and Kim-West isn’t the talk of the town tonight. The lights flicker just as Michaels takes his seat, the paparazzi backing off only because the show is about to begin.After a very short hype session from Al Laiman and Jerry Andrews, the camera focuses to Justin Roberts in the ring on the left. Justin introduces tonight's Master of Ceremonies: Neil Patrick Harris of Doogie Howser and How I Met Your Mother fame.
We get a few top quality jokes from N.P.H. and we kick it over to the first award and presenter of the evening ....
Biggest Debut or Return Nominees
Past winners include: Landon Divine; Johnny Vivacious; Silence; Justin Michaels & Johnny Vivacious; High Tide; AWAssholes; Ace Anderson
Presenter(s): Black Sabbath
Following their wildly popular album 13, Black Sabbath has decided to stop in to present the award for Biggest Return in Pure Class Wrestling. The list of nominees is read ... or at least, we think they were read. The accent, while better than in the past from Ozzy Osbourne, is still not the easiest to decipher. However, thankfully, Geezer Butler takes over and ... Rob Zombie's “Scum of the Earth’ blasts over the P.A. system. It’s obvious the winner of the award is Non Compos Mentis but Mr. Mentis is nowhere to be found. The crowd lets out a healthy round of boos ... with no one really to direct them towards.
Instead of Non Compos Mentis, we see a scaggly looking hobo walk onto the stage in all his bum-tastic glory. Subtle cat-pee smell and all. He takes the award from Ozzy and looks at it for a few moments before turning to the crowd ... mumbling a few words that could perhaps be considered an acceptance speech... and asking for spare change before being escorted from the stage to make way for the next presenter and award.
Winner: Non Compos Mentis returning at Mass Destruction 3 with 32% of the vote
Most Inspirational Award
Past Winners: Benjamin Banks; Lantlas; Grimm; Nacho Grande; Andy D(x2)
Presenter: Gym Class Heroes
‘The Fighter’ by Gym Class Heroes plays over the speaker system and out come Gym Class Heroes. The refrain of the song (Give me scars, give me pain / Then they'll say to me, say to me, say to me / There goes a fighter) plays a few times before the music is cut and and Travie McCoy begins to speak. Speaking on what makes a person inspirational. Every person has a quality or a gift to inspire, but tonight we recognize the person who has gone above and beyond in inspiring the masses.
... the nominees are read and ...
‘Pain Redefined’ plays over the P.A. system. Ace Anderson accepts a rolling wave of cheers as he moves from his seat in the second row. Shaking hands along the way, he makes his way to center stage and accepts the Icey. Shaking hands with each member of the band, Ace holds the award up for all to see. He waits for the crowd to settle down before beginning his speech.
Fighting being the one thing he’s done all his life, whether it be fighting for survival or happiness or the respect of the fans and PCW superstars alike ... Ace is extremely honored to receive this award. He dedicates the award to the other nominees, for their combined efforts to take people to a place BEYOND Greatness. The crowd lets out a collective chuckle/cheer and Ace makes his way from the stage on a high note as we go to the backstage area.
Winner: Ace Anderson with 46% of the vote
***
There seems to be some commotion happening at the back entrance. The camera shakily runs towards the fracas and we see trainers, EMT’s and referees all racing towards a 55 gallon drum filled with kindling and set completely on fire. The barrel rolling in through one of the back loading bays of the Peace Center, there’s a call for an extinguisher and one is produced ... eliminating the threat of flames from the building within.
All present are looking towards the opening of the building. Two hobos are present and being questioned ... but are generally being considered as WITNESSES instead of actual CONSPIRATORS. The hobos not being held responsible for the attack? It seems that way as Non Compos Mentis arrives at the back door to speak to officials. They are quick to keep him from entering the building but he makes it a point to defend the haggard-looking men.
The officials and security are quick to eject Non Compos Mentis and his friends from the immediate area, beginning to dismiss their story. Why ELSE would they be creeping around the back entrance being hobo-tastic and creepy? There are more questions than answers as we go back to the stage and our next award of the evening.
***
Best Tag Team
Past Winners Include: Heaven & Hell; Dominion; 2Guys; Grimm & Sadistic; Crazy Muscles
Presenter(s): Simon Pegg and Nick Frost of Shaun of the Dead and Paul
We are treated to Simon Pegg and Nick Frost dressed in El Musculo and Crazy Boy gear (Frost being the bigger of the two looking quite odd in El Musculo’s gear and mask). The two elicit a hearty round of applause and laughs from the crowd, Simon Pegg takes to the podium and begins to espouse the virtues of finding that one person that complements you to the utmost degree. That one person who makes you a better you. That ONE PERSON ...
... that makes the best breakfast for you in the morning, Nick Frost interjects. The crowd chuckles and Frost/Pegg go to the screen.
The hype video for the Best Tag Team plays and when we return, Frost and Pegg are practicing their wrestling moves ... albeit a very loose and not very effective looking headlock. The two separate and clear their throats before announcing the winner ...
Two Steps from Hell’s 'Jump’ blasts over the speaker system and out come Johnathan Cable and Sebastian St. Paul. The pair pull their own microphones and remain close to the crowd instead of staying on stage. Pegg and Frost handing the awards down to the pair and shaking their hands before retreating to the back, Johnathan Cable beins to speak.
“Now... It's nice to be back here in Greenville...” he says as the fans explode with a hometown pop.
“... but the New Breed has some very serious business to attend to here tonight at the Iceys!” he finishes as the crowd pops wildly again at the mention of the Supershow. John brings his mic to his mask, and the crowd hushes to hear what he has to say.
“It would seem that Whitey Ford is a little more drunk than normal as of late.” he says as the fans pop.
“You see, Whitey Ford ... Mr. Longest IC Championship Reign... Mr. Lone Wolf... Mr. Asshole... Mr. Overlooked... Mr. Under-appreciated... Mr. Oh-Woe-is-Me... Mr. Because-I-Can... it wasn't ME who issued a challenge. WE never so much as mentioned your name, Whitey. There was no reason to bring you up, because the fact is, you aren't a blip on our radar That is, until you got it in your pea-brain to start talking smack. You see, it was YOU who mentioned the New Breed... somewhere along the lines of coming down to a ring at somewhere and taking away the PCW Tag Team Titles all by yourself.” John says as the crowd boos in unison as if on cue.
“They know...” John says as he points out at the crowd several times to encompass every single fan in attendance.
“...that these Tag Team Titles BELONG to the New Breed!” he shouts as the fans pop for the undisputed PCW Tag Champs.
“These fans and the Faithful at home... every single one of them ... were with us when we rose to the top of the PCW Tag Team division, and each and every one of them was with us the night we laid to rest the doubts ... and became the PCW Tag Team Champions. They have followed us and been a part of our budding Tag Title Reign... and THIS ride will NOT come to a complete stop ANY time soon.” He shouts all fired up now and in full stride as the crowd chants:
'New Breed' ... 'New Breed' ... 'New Breed'...
SSP points out into the crowd and cheers with the fans holding his Tag Title over his head as John brings the mic back to his mouth and hush falls once more.
“My CHALLENGE to you was to call you out ... and to show the world, which I did, that you are a pathetic excuse for a PCW Champion and trash like you doesn't deserve to wear a Belt that should be more prestigious than it is! I gave you fair chance to drag your beer soaked carcass down to the ring two Traumas ago... and put your money where your mouth is. But you were no where to be found. YOU were a coward and no showed.” he says as he finally lays it all out on the table and shares how he really feels with the fans. They agree... and pop loudly.
“The fact is, Whitey Ford, that the New Breed Foundation has beaten Marshall Law from pillar to post here in Greenville, South Cackalacky... and whenever you think you got the cajones to climb into this ring and face the both of us... well... it's your funeral!” SSP says with a grin as the fans cheer.
“... BUT...” he continues as the fans hush. “... your cowardice won’t save you. Not next week and definitely NOT at Game Over! Next week. Did I say next week? Oh that’s right, we forgot to mention that aside from worrying about Ace Anderson ... ” and the fans go wild at the mention of the new found ally of the New Breed. “Talk all the smack you want, Whitey Ford. Rant and rave and throw a fit if it suits you, you drunkard ... but if your big bodyguard wants to hang on to his job security... he better be right there at ringside next week. That way, he’ll be able to carry you out to your next binge after I beat you in the middle of the ring!’
The crowd lets out a raucous cheer at the announcement of a singles match between Whitey Ford and Johnathan Cable.
''And Michael Wryght? Just to keep you from feeling so left out that your bestest pal in the whole wide world is getting dropped like Skylar Marshall’s personal stock ... my dance card is free. Hope you’ve got some pull at the local hospital for after I leave you laying in the middle of the ring!’', he says as the crowd pops loudly and the New Breed walks off the stage but John turns at the bottom of the stairs and brings his mic to his mask once more as the music fades and crowd settles to listen.
"Bring your Heaven and Hells! Bring your Nacho and Kaards! Hell... even bring your Grimm and Sadistics. The New Breed is the Greatest Tag Team in the HISTORY of the PCW... and we will prove it to ALL comers. You want the most prestigious Titles in the PCW? They are right HERE! Come get them!" He shouts as the fans go wild and they leave the main stage area and kick it to Neil Patrick Harris out in the crowd amongst the celebrities in the crowd.
Winner: The New Breed with 73% of the vote
We see him beginning to look for people to get some quality time with ... but in the far corner of the shot, we see the ever-present Miguel Malone in the back of the audience, attempting to get comments and words from late arrivals to the event. N.P.H. jumping at the chance, he quickly and quite stealthily makes his way to Malone and catches him completely off-guard.
He begins to interview Malone, who at first seems extremely excited to be the center of attention for once. However, things turn south with Neil Patrick Harris begins to drop phrases such as ‘glory-hound’ and ‘hanger-on’. Malone sees where this is going and leaves in a big hurry, citing journalistic integrity and business to attend. Unfortunately, he appears to have been utterly trounced by the charismatic ‘Barney Stinson’ as we head back to the stage area for our next presenter and award ...
Most Loved
Past Winners Include: Angelica Night-Hunter; Lantlas; Pegasus; Nacho Grande (x3)
Presenter: Lady Gaga
The sounds of ‘Bad Romance’ filters through the crowd and from out of nowhere ... Lady Gaga wearing a disco-ball styler brassiere with matching bell-bottomed pants and ... a vinyl record eye patch and perfectly coiffed and gelled hair. Oh, and did we mention her coming from the ceiling? That’s right, she’s a human disco ball.
As soon as she hits the stage, she stands for everyone to take a good long look at before moving to the podium and speaking. She speaks about her Little Monsters, being the most loved person on Twitter, Facebook, the Billboard charts ... everywhere. It can be tiresome, but is the most rewarding this to see the effects of your words and actions reflected in the world around and how it’s her absolute HONOR to present the Most Loved of PCW to ...
... ‘Supersoulfighter’ plays and up walks the Single Letter Superstar himself, Q! He shakes the hands of several celebrities and waves with great excitement at the crowd as he moves to the stage. No one is really paying attention to his impeccable suit as all eyes are on Lady Gaga ... including his own. Up close with her for the first time, the sparkles shine all over his face and he smiles. Holding up the Genesis Championship, he strategically places it side-by-side with Lady Gaga’s glowing cups and shakes his head, remarking into the microphone that his is just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit shinier. She smiles and shrugs, beckoning him to do something and ...
... he holds the belt up in front of her chest as she drops her top to the podium and has the belt strapped around her.
She models it for the crowd, who applaud heavily. Q ... looks like he’s about to faint. She steps to the side, hands him the award and kisses him on the cheek while holding his belt for everyone to see as he gives his speech. He keeps it fairly brief, mentioning his match for THAT lucky belt coming up next ... thanking everyone who voted for him. Thanking PCW for the chance to come back and give his best to the crowds that he had once disappointed for a sudden injury sidelining him.
The crowd applauds and Q makes his way from the stage, arm-in-arm with Lady Gaga as we go to Neil Patrick Harris who runs down what is coming up next after we come back from commercial.
Winner: Q with 44% of the vote