Post by Derek Cosmos on Jun 24, 2014 14:41:41 GMT -5
Well that's a bummer.
No...I'm not talking about the multiple losses to the Pure Class Wrestling family. I don't have a lot to say about the deaths. “Sorry?” “It's unfortunate?” “Hang in there, kitty?” Like, I don't really know these people. I'm new. No, what I'm talking about is a much more tragic story...
...my less than favorable debut at Trauma 155.
I had one goal at Trauma -help Andy D win the Last Chance Battle Royal- and I failed. I suppose it could have gone better had I actually spoken with Andy D about those plans. But then again, I wasn't hired by Andy D. The two guys that I was contracted by paid me a nice little sum to help out a fine little wrestler get out of a slump. I was their savior. And Andy Didn't win.
I let those two weird-looking guys down. But just like a Lannister, I always pay my debts.
(That's a pop culture reference to all those who may be digesting this message.)
Andy D, when you were knocked out of The Icemann Invitational Tournament I was genuinely bummed. If my stunning good-looks, mental abilities, and superior strength couldn't help you win a lousy battle royal to further your chances, then you really had no chance to begin with.
...Which makes the bounty I collected on your failure (I was not the failure. I did not lose MY match) almost sad.
...Which is why I contacted Pure Class Wrestling officials and demanded that my first match be a tag team match with you, Mr. D. I owe you that much. It took some wrangling, but I got that match, sir.
Andy, you will come out victorious or you will die trying.
...Which could very well happen, because our opponents -Kelli Starr and Nathan Saniti- I know nothing about.
(Okay, I'm fibbing. I know a little about our opponents. I know that Mr. Saniti is a demon from another dimension and Ms. Starr is a sugarcoated ninja living in a fantasy world....Actually, while I have the space, I want to go on record in saying that if this message does somehow magically find its way to The Realm of Serpentine Rabbits and Barbie Assassins, I have no ill-will towards you. I will, however, have to thrash you- repeatedly. For Andy's sake.)
But I will protect you, Andy. I promise. Because I may have been a savior to those two weird-looking dudes, but to you, Andy...I will be your guardian. I will be...The Guardian of the D.
...Supahstah...