Post by Andy D on Jul 25, 2014 20:00:06 GMT -5
Grief is the price we pay for love – Queen Elizabeth II
They say that there are 5 stages of grief people generally go through. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I’m at whatever stage involves copious amounts of varying kinds of alcohol with the occasional need to beat up anything that moves.
I think that might be bargaining.
I’ve always tried to be fairly honest with you guys on here, so I’ll admit I’ve have some pretty low days. And I’ve been taking the easy way to coping with it in the hopes that it will go away sooner rather than later. Since this whole grief thing is a mental thing, then surely if I believe that this course of action is working for me, that’s all that matters, right?
Of course not everyone agrees. Despite the fact that everybody greaves differently, it seems to me that everybody has an opinion on how I should be coping with my grief. Some people happen to agree that drowning my sorrows is a legitimate and useful cathartic response, outweighing the potential damage to my liver (which considering my line of work is pretty low on the list of body parts I’m at risk of damaging beyond repair). Others however believe that I won’t be able to find what I’m looking for at the bottom of a glass.
Apparently these people don’t consider that what I may be looking for is the bottom of the glass.
Of course when these two groups of people come together I can only imagine just how crazy those arguments can get. I say imagine because I’m usually too drunk to pay attention to them while they’re going on. The one I do remember wasn’t overly bad, and happened during a session in a bar.
In the “let him drink” corner of the ring, Menace, who happened to be out drinking with me at the time. Of course he’ll take any excuse for him to get his hands on a beer anyway, so that does help.
His opponent, in the “This isn’t helping” corner, my manager Lucy Hunt, who apparently went through about 5 or 6 bars in the Greenville area looking for me. I don’t know if her stance on this is due to the fact that as my manager, she wants me to be in top physical condition or if it’s some kind of “She’s always right and I’m always wrong” attitude.
One day, when I’m a bit more sober, maybe I’ll figure that out.
So when she finally found us, Lucy stomped up towards the bar, where I was sitting, my head resting on the bar itself, looking a lot less conscious than I was and wishing I could be more drunk than I was. Actually I now forget which bar we were in. It might have been the one that kind of looks like the one from Cheers, I know it defiantly wasn’t the Irish one. Don’t think it was the firewater (so named not just because of the alcohol connection, but because it’s a small place with not a lot of room to move around and the entire interior is made out of wood making it a minor fire hazard).
Anyway there Lucy was, wearing that business suit/skirt combo thing she usually wears (I swear, just once I’d like to see her in something like sweat pants jeans or something casual.). Her hair was done up in that kind of simple bob knot style thing that seems to be the rage at the moment. Oh don’t judge me, I’ve got short hair and wear a hat 90% of the day, what the hell do I know about hair styles?
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Lucy didn’t so much as yell, but she was damn angry enough to. She was addressing Menace at the time, who was standing near the bar itself. He took one quick look at the beer in his hand and then had a quick look around the bar.
“Well…” Menace started to say, but Lucy was very quick to cut him off.
“Don’t you dare get smart with me right now” She practically snarled, waggling a finger of demanding in his face.
“Wow, I’m not sure if that limits or greatly expands my possible topics of conversation right now” Menace quickly quipped.
“What in whatever passes as your right mind made you think this was a good idea?“ Lucy said in her irate state “I mean look at how bad Andy looks.”
At this point they looked in my general direction (which wasn’t really that far away from them anyway), where I was sitting on a stool by the bar itself, slumped over with my head resting on the bar (technically my forehead was resting on my arm, but considering that was resting on the bar, it’s all the same).
“Oh, he’s fine.” Menace said in as reassuring a manner as he could muster before he spoke a bit louder and in my direction. “You’re ok, aren’t you buddy?”
“I’m good.” I replied in my inebriated state, without lifting my head off the bar in anyway. “It’s Menace’s round next and the cheapskate is taking ages to finish off his last drink.”
Lucy grabbed Menace by the arm and dragged him further away from me in the attempt to put their conversation out of earshot. “Seriously what the hell were you thinking, you know what kind of state Andy is in right now.”
“Yes.” Menace calmly responded.
“And you think it’s really a good idea to bring him to a bar in this state?” She was trying to keep her voice down, but you could tell she just wanted to yell and beat Menace to a pulp right now.
“What would you rather I do?” Menace started, “Would you rather I leave him alone to wonder off to some biker bar in the middle of nowhere and start a drunken brawl with everybody in there?”
“Well…” was all Lucy could really respond with, taken aback and knock off that high horse she rode in on.
“Look, this way Andy gets to drink his grief away, which he’s going to go and do regardless of if we’re against the idea, while at the same time I’m there to make sure he’s all safe.” Menace explained “Plus I can be a shoulder to cry on or yell at depending on how he’s feeling.”
“And what happens when he wonders off because you’re too drunk to notice?” Lucy asked.
“Please, you assume I can’t function well as a drunk.” Menace responded with mock offence. “Besides, I’ve been alternating my drinks, for every alcoholic drink Andy buys me, I buy myself a water to make sure I don’t get drunk as quick.”
“You’re alternating your drinks?” Lucy asked, both shocked and confused, like most of us would be considering this is Menace we’re talking about.
“I know right, it’s creeping me out” which again, is like most of us considering this is Menace we’re talking about.
Of course Menace and Lucy aren’t the only ones who don’t trust me enough to leave me alone. The PCW management, for example, seems to be of the same opinion that I must have someone besides me in my matches and have yet again signed me into a Tag Team match. Which given my bad history with being in Tag Teams in the past, it just seems like a terrible idea in the first place.
I’m against Justin “Stormm” Michaels and Loki this time around. It’s funny to think about, but back when I was fresh faced to PCW, I fought both of these guys individually on my slow rise up the ranks. On of my very first matches in PCW was against the then world champion Stormm, and everybody expected him to just walk all over me. But I held out, and managed to last on long enough for the match to end a draw via the Time Limit expiring.
Not that long afterwards I encountered Loki in the Icemann Invitational, at a time when he had recently been dethroned as World Champion himself. And this time I managed to gain victory over yet another PCW veteran, a big name who really should have mopped the canvas with a rookie like me. Instead I fought both of these guys after they had climbed up the mountain and fallen from the glory that they once again are trying to reclaim. They’re has beans, stuck at the bottom of a rut believing they’re no where near it.
Of course the ironic thing is that’s where I happen to be as well, fallen from a brief fleeting moment with glory, now relegated back to the darkness of nothingness. The difference between myself and my forthcoming opponents is that not many people have noticed I’m in this state, while they fell so long ago they’ve recovered, now truly climbing back up the ladder of success.
Three former world champions in this match, the odd one out becomes my partner, the newcomer. Maybe one day he’ll be at the top of the mountain where the rest of us once stood, but right now he’s just an inconvenience to me. Its not Derek Cosmos himself, I barely know the guys to judge that.
But just having a tag partner right now is annoying to me right now. I’m not a Tag wrestler normally but right now I just need to fight, to hit and be hit. I’ve got so much aggression in me right now I just need to let it all out. And where better to do that than in my work which involves aggressively hitting people (and getting paid for it). Having to stand on the side of the ring, watching the action and not being a part of it? Not helping.
But then nobody listens to how I want to cope with this thing, they all have their own opinions on how I must cope, and they’re going to seemingly make me cope their way, not mine.
They say that there are 5 stages of grief people generally go through. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I’m at whatever stage involves copious amounts of varying kinds of alcohol with the occasional need to beat up anything that moves.
I think that might be bargaining.
I’ve always tried to be fairly honest with you guys on here, so I’ll admit I’ve have some pretty low days. And I’ve been taking the easy way to coping with it in the hopes that it will go away sooner rather than later. Since this whole grief thing is a mental thing, then surely if I believe that this course of action is working for me, that’s all that matters, right?
Of course not everyone agrees. Despite the fact that everybody greaves differently, it seems to me that everybody has an opinion on how I should be coping with my grief. Some people happen to agree that drowning my sorrows is a legitimate and useful cathartic response, outweighing the potential damage to my liver (which considering my line of work is pretty low on the list of body parts I’m at risk of damaging beyond repair). Others however believe that I won’t be able to find what I’m looking for at the bottom of a glass.
Apparently these people don’t consider that what I may be looking for is the bottom of the glass.
Of course when these two groups of people come together I can only imagine just how crazy those arguments can get. I say imagine because I’m usually too drunk to pay attention to them while they’re going on. The one I do remember wasn’t overly bad, and happened during a session in a bar.
In the “let him drink” corner of the ring, Menace, who happened to be out drinking with me at the time. Of course he’ll take any excuse for him to get his hands on a beer anyway, so that does help.
His opponent, in the “This isn’t helping” corner, my manager Lucy Hunt, who apparently went through about 5 or 6 bars in the Greenville area looking for me. I don’t know if her stance on this is due to the fact that as my manager, she wants me to be in top physical condition or if it’s some kind of “She’s always right and I’m always wrong” attitude.
One day, when I’m a bit more sober, maybe I’ll figure that out.
So when she finally found us, Lucy stomped up towards the bar, where I was sitting, my head resting on the bar itself, looking a lot less conscious than I was and wishing I could be more drunk than I was. Actually I now forget which bar we were in. It might have been the one that kind of looks like the one from Cheers, I know it defiantly wasn’t the Irish one. Don’t think it was the firewater (so named not just because of the alcohol connection, but because it’s a small place with not a lot of room to move around and the entire interior is made out of wood making it a minor fire hazard).
Anyway there Lucy was, wearing that business suit/skirt combo thing she usually wears (I swear, just once I’d like to see her in something like sweat pants jeans or something casual.). Her hair was done up in that kind of simple bob knot style thing that seems to be the rage at the moment. Oh don’t judge me, I’ve got short hair and wear a hat 90% of the day, what the hell do I know about hair styles?
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Lucy didn’t so much as yell, but she was damn angry enough to. She was addressing Menace at the time, who was standing near the bar itself. He took one quick look at the beer in his hand and then had a quick look around the bar.
“Well…” Menace started to say, but Lucy was very quick to cut him off.
“Don’t you dare get smart with me right now” She practically snarled, waggling a finger of demanding in his face.
“Wow, I’m not sure if that limits or greatly expands my possible topics of conversation right now” Menace quickly quipped.
“What in whatever passes as your right mind made you think this was a good idea?“ Lucy said in her irate state “I mean look at how bad Andy looks.”
At this point they looked in my general direction (which wasn’t really that far away from them anyway), where I was sitting on a stool by the bar itself, slumped over with my head resting on the bar (technically my forehead was resting on my arm, but considering that was resting on the bar, it’s all the same).
“Oh, he’s fine.” Menace said in as reassuring a manner as he could muster before he spoke a bit louder and in my direction. “You’re ok, aren’t you buddy?”
“I’m good.” I replied in my inebriated state, without lifting my head off the bar in anyway. “It’s Menace’s round next and the cheapskate is taking ages to finish off his last drink.”
Lucy grabbed Menace by the arm and dragged him further away from me in the attempt to put their conversation out of earshot. “Seriously what the hell were you thinking, you know what kind of state Andy is in right now.”
“Yes.” Menace calmly responded.
“And you think it’s really a good idea to bring him to a bar in this state?” She was trying to keep her voice down, but you could tell she just wanted to yell and beat Menace to a pulp right now.
“What would you rather I do?” Menace started, “Would you rather I leave him alone to wonder off to some biker bar in the middle of nowhere and start a drunken brawl with everybody in there?”
“Well…” was all Lucy could really respond with, taken aback and knock off that high horse she rode in on.
“Look, this way Andy gets to drink his grief away, which he’s going to go and do regardless of if we’re against the idea, while at the same time I’m there to make sure he’s all safe.” Menace explained “Plus I can be a shoulder to cry on or yell at depending on how he’s feeling.”
“And what happens when he wonders off because you’re too drunk to notice?” Lucy asked.
“Please, you assume I can’t function well as a drunk.” Menace responded with mock offence. “Besides, I’ve been alternating my drinks, for every alcoholic drink Andy buys me, I buy myself a water to make sure I don’t get drunk as quick.”
“You’re alternating your drinks?” Lucy asked, both shocked and confused, like most of us would be considering this is Menace we’re talking about.
“I know right, it’s creeping me out” which again, is like most of us considering this is Menace we’re talking about.
Of course Menace and Lucy aren’t the only ones who don’t trust me enough to leave me alone. The PCW management, for example, seems to be of the same opinion that I must have someone besides me in my matches and have yet again signed me into a Tag Team match. Which given my bad history with being in Tag Teams in the past, it just seems like a terrible idea in the first place.
I’m against Justin “Stormm” Michaels and Loki this time around. It’s funny to think about, but back when I was fresh faced to PCW, I fought both of these guys individually on my slow rise up the ranks. On of my very first matches in PCW was against the then world champion Stormm, and everybody expected him to just walk all over me. But I held out, and managed to last on long enough for the match to end a draw via the Time Limit expiring.
Not that long afterwards I encountered Loki in the Icemann Invitational, at a time when he had recently been dethroned as World Champion himself. And this time I managed to gain victory over yet another PCW veteran, a big name who really should have mopped the canvas with a rookie like me. Instead I fought both of these guys after they had climbed up the mountain and fallen from the glory that they once again are trying to reclaim. They’re has beans, stuck at the bottom of a rut believing they’re no where near it.
Of course the ironic thing is that’s where I happen to be as well, fallen from a brief fleeting moment with glory, now relegated back to the darkness of nothingness. The difference between myself and my forthcoming opponents is that not many people have noticed I’m in this state, while they fell so long ago they’ve recovered, now truly climbing back up the ladder of success.
Three former world champions in this match, the odd one out becomes my partner, the newcomer. Maybe one day he’ll be at the top of the mountain where the rest of us once stood, but right now he’s just an inconvenience to me. Its not Derek Cosmos himself, I barely know the guys to judge that.
But just having a tag partner right now is annoying to me right now. I’m not a Tag wrestler normally but right now I just need to fight, to hit and be hit. I’ve got so much aggression in me right now I just need to let it all out. And where better to do that than in my work which involves aggressively hitting people (and getting paid for it). Having to stand on the side of the ring, watching the action and not being a part of it? Not helping.
But then nobody listens to how I want to cope with this thing, they all have their own opinions on how I must cope, and they’re going to seemingly make me cope their way, not mine.
